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BullyBuster with Rhonda Orr
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BullyBuster with Rhonda Orr

Author: Rhonda Orr

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Join Rhonda Orr, who has headed up two non-profits dealing with abuse and bullying, as this monthly interview show helps Moms (and Grandmas) understand what kind of bullying behaviors their girls face in today’s world and how they can help their daughters avoid being bullied. Rhonda knows anyone can be a victim, but the key is not to stay a victim. Using her Triangle of Triumph, Rhonda has taught hundreds of kids how to go from Victim to Survivor to Leader. In this podcast, she will speak to their Moms, giving them tips to assist them in navigating the sometimes confusing world of bullying.
23 Episodes
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My guest is Sarah Wagner, co-author of the brilliant book, Unleash Today, which I highly recommend. Sarah’s a project manager based in Beijing, where she enhances relations between her home country, Germany, and China. Sarah earned her LLM in International Law in the Netherlands. That’s also where she met her co-author, Kate Surala. Sarah’s an amazing powerhouse who served as the Senior Policy Manager for the largest Tech Trade Association in Brussels, Belgium. She also worked in Washington, DC as the Head Delegate of the G20 Summit for Young Professionals in Sydney, Australia. Her podcast, Here She Is, features diverse leaders and inspires diversity! And although I won’t share her age, she’s young.
My guest on this episode, Kate Surala, joins me from across the pond in London. She’s traveled around the world and lived in Europe, Asia, and Australia. Now, she's a Partner, C.O.O., and Head of Compliance and Legal at The Analyst Research, L.L.P.Kate was also a leader of the legal and compliance research team after studying law and finance at University of Oxford. Attending Oxford was a goal since she was a young girl watching her social-worker mom represent children in court.Recently, Kate published a book, “Unleash Today,” with co-author Sarah Wagner. They developed it after finding that existing business self-help books were written by successful women who were twenty years their seniors.The one-of-a kind modern-day self-help and mentoring book was created for young, ambitious, and progressive women leaving universities and entering the workplace, much like Kate and Sarah.Their goal is to share the lessons they've learned so other ambitious women don’t have to go through what they did.Order the book at our website!
Today, I’m happy to introduce you to Greg Jenkins, who’s one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet!I’m thankful for his military service stateside and in Germany, South Korea, and combat duty in in Iraq.Greg was chosen to serve in the U.S. Army’s Diversity Task Force at the Pentagon, where he developed and helped establish the Army’s Diversity program, train to it, and master it for many organizations, corporations, and Department of Defense levels.Greg continues to thrive with his own business within the arena of DEI or Diversity, Equity and Inclusion, with his firm, Greg Jenkins Consulting.
My guest this time is Fred S. Thomas. In his time in the US Navy, he worked as a Staff Briefer to the Commander-in-Chief of the US Pacific Fleet, a member of a special emergency response group Deployable Joint Task Force, and tons more.Fred received his Bachelor’s while in Hawaii and his Master’s of Organizational Change. Those degrees and his expansive corporate career led him to serve in other arenas, such as volunteering as a coach for several girl’s athletics teams, Annual Fund School Site Council as the Parent Chair and the Chair of the African-American Parent Council.Fred served with Hawaii’s Big Brothers Big Sisters one on one mentoring organization, something near and dear to my heart … since I have a partnership with a large Arizona chapter.He’s always most passionate about bullying and racial / cultural topics! Especially because he is surrounded by women – his wife and three amazing daughters!I can’t wait for you to hear his stories, especially the one about a racist act while in the Navy and the appropriate humor he used to defuse a very challenging hardship.
This week on the BullyBuster podcast, I am very fortunate to have Elinor Stutz as my guest.Elinor breaks barriers and records everywhere she goes. She’s the author of several best-selling books, starting with her first one titled, “Nice Girls Do get the Sale: Relationship building That Gets Results.”I just finished reading it! The pearls from decades of Elinor selling in a man’s world are still relevant today! I can see why her book is considered evergreen. Elinor has decided to forge ahead with her skills, foresight, and bravery to continually help women.She’s a popular inspirational speaker, and is writing Nice Girls Do Get the Sale – part two! Yay! Elinor’s mom and dad were great training coaches, with her mom telling her to always be nice to everyone … check, she had the highest sales (by far) amongst the men she worked with. Elinor’s dad said, Never allow anyone to count you out … check – check!Bullies were great training for Elinor, too, because she learned to listen, observe and (get this) ask questions. When the meanness took over, she would match their effort and up it a level to end the bullying!Please join me today and let Elinor sail into your heart with her corporation: Smooth sale!
I’m thrilled to have, as my guest, Jessica Hickman – Born in Wales and now living in Australia, where she was subjected to severe workplace bullying. And, get this, Jessica was in Human Resources in the tough oil and gas industry. She was creating safer work environments for her employees and dealing with a high rate of suicide within her community. Jessica not only filed one or two reports of the vicious bullying she encountered from her own boss, she actually submitted over 30 reports about the awful bullying and abuse. She stayed at her job because of Visa restrictions and the fear that her employees would be left to deal with similar things. However, as Jessica puts it in her book – The Bullyologist – Breaking the Silence on Bullying, she chose “not to stay a victim,” the beginning part of our program’s Triangle of Triumph. She turned “Fear into fuel.” She’s in global high demand as a Key-note speaker, workshop educator and training seminars. She founded a professional anti-bullying methodology, for her company, Bullyology.
Today, I have Shelly Elsliger, founder of the #DecideToBeKind movement as my guest. Shelly’s from Toronto, Canada. As a child growing up there, she was bullied. She encountered the number-one reason little girls and women are bullied. However, you are going to hear how she got her voice back, in a big way, by starting her kindness movement as a leading International Coach Federation Trainer for Linked-In. You’ll find out why one red high-heel shoe is a life-long talisman for Shelly--and why she wears a red super-hero cape to speak at schools and universities.
I first met today’s guest, Bobby Kipper, when he brought his film, Bully Fighters, to Arizona schools a couple of years back. We served on a panel together discussing this issue and his Green Zone program. You’ll find out today what that program is and many others that Bobby has developed. Bobby’s journey began with a 26-year career in the Newport News, Virginia Police Department. He went on to serve as the Director of the Gang Reduction Program for the Virginia Attorney General. Bobby founded the National Center for Prevention of Community Violence. He won the FBI’s Director’s award for fighting crime. With four decades of experience fighting crime and implementing programs, he has some strong opinions on keeping schools and communities safe, Education on bullying, and public safety. He’ll talk about why the “De-fund the police” movement is misguided.
On BullyBuster episode 13, I’m lucky to have the founder and CEO of Power Zone Coaching, Rene Johnson. She is also a founder and former director of domestic violence for Sheroes United (You’ll find out what that means today)! Rene has authored books, magazine articles, and been a featured guest on CNN and elsewhere. As a certified and leading international speaker, her own story of courage has helped her influence thousands of people around the world. She invites you to learn how to stay out of your comfort zones to become part of the civility solution. We’re talking a lot about courage, today (which is one of our 5cs besides Civility, Confidence, Creativity, and Communication). I have to tell you, Rene is one courageous person! I can’t wait for you to hear her story about necessary risk-taking. You’ll laugh and cry with us as she encourages you to become a change factor in your own life.
Top 10: Bully Fatigue

Top 10: Bully Fatigue

2020-08-1218:55

Bullying is on the rise, and rising along with it is suicide among its victims.But something else seems to be going up, too: Bully fatigue.Like so many other widespread problems, it seems that people are getting tired of hearing about bullying. They’ve become apathetic.That’s dangerous.This week, we heard from a teen whose cousin committed suicide after relentless bullying. She went to school officials with a parent, but nothing was done. What might have saved her?   Here’s the letter.
Hello, Moms and Listeners!My dear mother passed away a few days ago in hospice care after suffering a fall.I’m out of town and will be away for a time. Please take this opportunity to listen to one of my Top 10 episodes from my earlier popular show, “Bullying, Life, and Stuff.” After COVID-19 has hit this country, so hard, nothing about death is a joke.This episode is titled, “J/K Does Not Make it OK.”Thank you for listening and please tell others. My goal is to teach our children to create civility for a new generation.Love,Rhonda
Today, I’m speaking with an honest-to-goodness legend. Dr. Lois Lee started Children of the Night over 40 years ago and has rescued over 10,000 child sex trafficking victims. Her groundbreaking work has led to countless awards, most notably the prestigious President’s Volunteer Action Award, presented to her by President Ronald Reagan. Her work was portrayed in a 1985 movie of the week titled, Children of the Night, in which she was played by Kathleen Quinlan. Richard Marx recorded a song, “Children of The Night” in 1989 and the proceeds helped build a world-class 24-bed shelter home and school. I am blessed to know her from working phone hotlines for child prostitutes as young as 11 years old in the 90’s. My nonprofit, S.T.O.P. Child Abuse Theatrical Organization and Productions, here in Los Angeles, raised funds and awareness for Children of the Night through producing a play. After four decades spent helping girls escape prostitution, Dr. Lee remains a maverick who—as you’ll hear—doesn’t hold back. I’m so passionate about the massive and extraordinarily profound work and compassion she puts into her efforts – work she started when no one else cared.
My guest today is Police Chief Jerald Monahan. He has served for 42 years in the public safety community. His incredible service record includes being the Chief of Police for Prescott, Arizona. He’s currently the Yavapai College Chief of Police. Chief Monahan has been the president of the Board of Directors for the End Violence Against Women International organization. He’s also a strong advocate for the Start By Believing Campaign. Which is why I’m so happy to have him as a guest to discuss problems and solution for moms in addressing abuse and bullying and how to start conversations. He’s going to give us some imperative tips today that will guide moms to be a trusted adult, by believing their daughters!
Today, we’re going to talk about the Big Brothers Big Sisters of America program. It’s a nationwide organization whose mission is to create and support one-to-one mentoring relationships. They do this by pairing kids between age five and young adulthood—they’re called Littles—with carefully screened adult mentors – known as Bigs. My guest is the Executive Director of the Northern Arizona chapter of Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Erin Mabery. Erin is a leader of children and families and has one of the most powerful youth mentoring programs in the United States. I know because I was a speaker for her first mentoring symposium this year. They’ll do another in February 2021. I’m also honored to have a Civility Ends Bullying partnership with Yavapai Big Brothers Big Sisters. I’m based in the Los Angeles area, but still, I have a profound love and admiration for the large, and enriching Alliance Collaborative projects and associates in Northern Arizona. I can’t possibly name all the weighty regional and state associates that Erin has through Big Brothers Big Sisters, but suffice it to say, there are many.
Today, we talk with a woman who is the very definition of power and yet, is also the very needed woman of today. She has empathy and the courage to help others who have suffered. Abby Bolt was, for over 20 years, a wildland firefighter. She started her career on an elite Hotshot Crew. She continued on, becoming a helicopter rappeller, Engine Captain, and moved up the chain of command to battalion chief. Abby fought and managed fire beside the best of the best in the industry. But then, Abby was raped by a firefighter who was not a member of her team. Someone who should have had her back. Her trust in leadership quickly went up in flames as she found she needed to be her own advocate. She began to hear from others in the same situation. Today, she produces two podcasts –one to get the word out about mistreatment of employees in the fire service, and a second to celebrate women’s achievements.
Jaime Villalovos is an entrepreneur. Along with her husband, Shawn, she started Team Revolution, Inc., a financial services firm.But Jaime has always put her family –she has four kids— and her faith first. She’s learned the value of teaching all of her children differently based on their individual personalities. That’s especially true for her oldest, 14-year-old Daisy. Jaime has faced a childhood of abject poverty and family sexual abuse with genuine hope, persistent strength, and all the moral strategies that she values in any relationship.Today, we’re going to focus on how we, as moms, or as someone who helps or guides girls in any way, can overcome bullying through our Triangle of Triumph. Jaime is the epitome of being an example of choosing not to stay a victim and we discuss the difficulties of making that choice. We’ll discuss what being a survivor means by defining who we are and what we want for our lives. We will talk about influencing future generations by breaking the cycle of family abuse. And Jaime will explain how she really enjoys being a leader who loves life and enjoys healthy relationships while giving service.
Did you know that more than 3 million Domestic Violence incidents are reported each year in the US? But an estimated 10 million go un-reported. This week on BullyBuster, my guest is Sergeant James Tobin, a highly honored police officer, and a big fan of community policing. He’s especially concerned about Domestic Violence… where the vast majority of victims are women and children. Sergeant Tobin discusses with me the many ways that women can choose not to stay a victim, which is the beginning of our Triangle of Triumph, Then they can survive this illness in our society and finally become the leader (of their own selves, first). He also talks about how we can all help raise up our women and children, together, because it does take a village.
If you’ve ever been bullied at work, you’ll want to hear my guest today. Marilyn Huffman has worked at the Better Business Bureau for nine years. She’s the director for the Pacific Southwest region. Marilyn provides support and education as President of the Professional Women’s Group in her territory. She’s an inspiration to women facing on-the-job bullying from women. Statistics show that woman-on-woman bullying is 65% more common than woman-on-man bullying. Having been bullied at a couple of places during her career, she’s gained great empathy for many women like herself. Those women who need to learn the right and tricky way to approach this pervasive problem. Bullying by a boss causes fears to take over – like needing your job to pay bills, feeling undermined, overwhelmed by condescending bosses and sometimes your peers and subordinates, and walking on eggshells because, evidently, you are doing everything wrong. Our discussion on Bullying in the Workplace will surprise you. We’ll talk about options and ideas to resolve the bullying situations you may be facing or could face in the future.
This week on episode #4, Annie Mayo, an award-winning – President and founder of Advanced Mineral Makeup since 2009, talks about being different and how that equals being bullied. Annie attended a very strict Catholic school where wearing a uniform usually means having automatic protection from bullies, because the students are not differentiated by socio-economic norms, fashion ideologies, and sometimes religion, to name a few status issues in public schools that cause bullying. Unless … there are other differences (I was bullied just for being new from moving all the time). And in Annie’s case, she and her girlfriend were very tall and thin. In today’s culture, that’s still a dream for many girls – to look like a fashion model. But it was simply “weird,” which is what was said, in her time. Annie talks about the years of hurt that caused her self-worth to be put into question. This week, Annie addresses victimhood in her childhood and parenting differences between then and now. Plus, how she’s facing bullying in today’s culture, simply because of her success and beauty today. That reasoning, goes against all the empowerment platforms that are preached in today’s society, but not yet practiced enough, along with civility which means be caring, considerate and have courtesy.
Today, my guest is Darlene Thompson, a Special Education Teacher at the Yavapai County, Arizona, Juvenile Detention School. She’s been there for 8 years and has her master’s in Special Education.I met Darlene when she invited me to speak to the students, about bullying and my Civility Triangle of Triumph program. My first question to the students was, “Who, here, was bullied or abused?” and every single hand went up. Then, it came as no surprise that many students become bully-victims, usually because of their abuse from family members or others in their lives. Darlene further talks with me about the students’ backgrounds of neglect, abandonment, drug addiction, insidious abuse and bullying, and unhealthy relationships because of the lack of positive adult role models. She points out how kids become gang members and why. And she acknowledges incessant generational cycles of “one-upping and pushing others down.” However, this show isn’t just for moms with daughters that are incarcerated. Bully-victims come from all walks of life and socio-economic upbringing. Darlene shares what happens if parents don’t make significant changes and why her students may need to, ultimately, change zip-codes. Her powerful message to parents and students is to learn what great worth each and every child is and how to create a new life full of hope and real change – positivity.
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