DadAwesome

When you're constantly hurrying from one thing to the next, it's almost impossible to be the dad you want to be. In this episode, you'll hear: ✅ The moment his son flinched and why it became the turning point ✅ How emotional regulation helps you stay in the "green zone" with your kids ✅ Why your role isn't to be Superman—it's to be the chief repenter ✅ The power of visioning your 80th birthday party (and reverse engineering it!) This conversation will challenge you to slow down, stay steady, and stop letting your kids catch the shrapnel. LEAVE A VOICE MESSAGE for DadAwesome - share your QUESTIONS here Summary: What happens when the pace of your life is stealing your ability to be present with your kids? In this episode, Tyler Graham shares the moment his son flinched when he sat down beside him—and how that changed everything. You'll hear why emotional regulation might be the most important skill any dad can develop, how living at three miles per hour creates space for real connection, and why being the chief repenter in your home is more powerful than being Superman. Takeaways: Dads need to be the thermostat, not the thermometer—setting the tone rather than reacting to it. When a dad blows up, the kids catch the shrapnel, and those moments leave lasting impressions. Emotional regulation is one of the most critical skills for fatherhood—learning to respond from the green zone instead of the red or blue. Vision is essential: imagine your child's eulogy or your 80th birthday party and reverse engineer the habits you need today. Your role as a dad isn't to be Superman—it's to be the chief repenter, modeling humility and grace for your kids. Guest Bio: Tyler Graham is a dad of six, founder of Three Mile Per Hour Fatherhood, and a passionate advocate for helping fathers slow down and live at the pace of presence. Through coaching cohorts and resources, Tyler encourages dads to develop emotional regulation, break generational patterns, and build a compelling vision for their family's future. He lives with his wife and six kids on their homestead, where they're building a legacy rooted in connection, intentionality, and grace. Quotes "I cannot be the type of dad I want to be when I'm in a hurry." "When a dad blows up, the kids catch the shrapnel." "A dad's role is not to be Superman. A dad's role is to be the chief repenter." "Dads need to be the thermostat, not the thermometer—set the tone, don't react to it." "My son flinched when I sat down. That's when I knew something had to change." Links Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book Three Mile Per Hour Fatherhood (Tyler Graham's coaching): [website] The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero A Burning in My Bones by Eugene Peterson Jeremy Pryor and Family Teams      

VOICE MESSAGE - leave us a 90-second question or comment or fedback... Start with your first name and where you are from: https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome   🏋️ Want to become a stronger dad? It starts with doing hard things—together. ✅ How to stay emotionally strong when your teenager isn't in the mood to talk ✅ Why opposition is actually a gift (even when it feels impossible) ✅ The power of gamifying life and creating playful memories with your kids ✅ How a simple bike ride and croissant can become a weekly rhythm your son will remember forever OVERVIEW What if the obstacles you're facing right now are exactly what you need to grow stronger as a dad? In this episode, Zac Ernst shares how opposition builds your overcome muscle, why emotional strength matters more than ever with teenagers, and how a simple Tuesday morning bike ride can change everything. Plus, he opens up about losing half his income the month after doubling his mortgage—and the moment God broke through his fear with joy. KEY TAKEAWAYS Emotional strength means staying steady through your kids' ups and downs rather than riding their emotional roller coasters. Opposition and hard things aren't obstacles to avoid—they're opportunities to fortify your faith muscle and show your kids what trust looks like. Play isn't optional for dads. It connects you to childlikeness, creates lasting memories, and reminds you that joy is found in pointless moments without outcomes. Three out of five men have no one to call in crisis. Finding your tribe and suffering together breaks isolation and builds unshakeable bonds. Your worry as a dad is like a five-year-old worrying about taxes—God's got this, and freedom comes when you open your hands and trust Him. LINKS Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email awesome@dadawesome.org Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Pursuit Official Website https://joinpursuit.co/ Zip Chip (favorite toy for play) Wild at Heart by John Eldredge   QUOTES "Your fear and worry right now is equivalent to your five-year-old worrying about taxes." "For a child, 15 minutes can be a lifelong memory. For us, it's a blink—but for them, it's forever." "The most vulnerable man on the sand is the strongest. Let's eliminate shallow conversation and get to the heart quickly." "Play isn't pointless—it's for joy. Men forget to have moments with no responsibility, no outcome, just pure fun." "Every time we go through something challenging, we fortify something in our minds that tells us: I have what it takes. Jesus will get me through this."    

How to pass the 4 pillars of manhood to your kids Why celebrating vulnerability matters more than perfect discipline How to normalize hard conversations about sex, money, and struggle The long view: Becoming a tender-hearted grandpa starts now FULL SHOW NOTES LEARN about joining the Fall 2025 DadAwesome Accelerator Cohorts SUMMARY Some days you feel like a C-grade dad, and that's when presence matters most. In this episode, Josh Krehbiel shares how he's learning to create emotional safety for his kids, celebrate vulnerability over performance, and pursue the long view of becoming a tender-hearted grandfather. You'll hear about the four pillars of manhood, why crock-pot freedom beats microwave solutions, and how to get to the rocking chair with love on your heart. TAKEAWAYS Marking moments matter: Creating manhood ceremonies and intentional milestones leaves lasting impressions on your kids, even if the follow-up isn't perfect. Celebrate vulnerability first: When your kids fail or confess something hard, make it about their openness before addressing consequences—this builds emotional safety. Reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously, and be fueled by the future: These four pillars of manhood provide a framework for raising boys and girls with character. Pursue purity as a top priority: The war for purity as a father protects your ability to show physical affection and have compassion without contamination. Freedom is crock-pot, not microwave: Breakthrough comes through long-suffering love and staying present, not by trying to manhandle change. GUEST Josh Krehbiel is the lead founding pastor of Every Day Church in Roseville, Minnesota—a community focused on prayer, discipleship, and sending out leaders and movements. Along with his wife Katie, Josh is passionate about raising up the next generation through worship, ministry, and authentic family connection. They have four children: three teenagers and a five-year-old. Josh is also a songwriter and worship leader who believes in the power of declaring truth over families through music and prayer.   LINKS Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book Raising Modern-Day Knights by Robert Lewis Everyday Church, Roseville, Minnesota   QUOTES "When failure happens we celebrate the vulnerability first because the most important thing is connection and felt safety." "I want to get to the rocking chair with love on my heart and grandkids who say grandpa is kind." "Freedom doesn't happen through manhandling it happens through long suffering love and staying present in the crock pot not microwave." "Your kids don't feel safe because you think they're safe they feel safe when you celebrate their vulnerability over their performance." "The war for purity as a father protects your ability to show physical affection with compassion instead of contamination."

🌍 From South Africa to America—this father-daughter story will challenge everything you think about comfort, risk, and legacy. George moved his family across the world and his daughter Amberly just started grad school in Boston. Together they share: ✅ How one grandfather's radical encounter changed generations ✅ Why true security comes from identity, not circumstances ✅ The power of giving daughters space to be uncomfortable ✅ What it means to be a pioneering father in today's world SUMMARY: What happens when a father chooses courage over comfort and moves his family across the world to pioneer something new? In this episode, George Gourlay and his 23-year-old daughter Amberly share their story of leaving an established ministry in South Africa to start fresh in America. You'll hear how one grandfather's radical encounter with God shifted an entire family line, why security comes from identity rather than circumstances, and how giving daughters space to be uncomfortable actually draws them closer to their Heavenly Father. TAKEAWAYS One person's choice to choose God can literally change generations—the legacy you leave matters more than the comfort you keep True security for your children comes from pointing them back to their Heavenly Father rather than trying to be their ultimate provider Pioneering requires vulnerability and risk, but it creates inheritance and legacy for those who come after you Give your daughters intentional affection and affirmation while also creating space for them to grow uncomfortable and dependent on God The long dull years of middle-aged prosperity can become excellent campaigning weather for the enemy—comfort can be your greatest threat to effectiveness GUESTS George Gourlay is the lead pastor who moved his family from Durban, South Africa to Northeast Florida in 2024. He served for 14 years in ministry leadership in South Africa, following in the footsteps of his father who had a radical encounter with God that transformed their family line. George is married to Leanne and has three children: Amberly (23), Luke (20), and Mitch (10). Amberly Gourlay is a 23-year-old graduate pursuing global studies and international relations in Boston. She delivered her university's commencement speech, challenging fellow graduates to choose courage over comfort with the heart of Isaiah's "here I am, send me." She's passionate about women's leadership in church and politics and embodies the pioneering spirit passed down through her family line. Top 5 Quotes: "One person's choice to choose God and one husband's choice to choose his wife and to choose his children literally changes generations." - Amberly Gourlay "The long dull monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil." - C.S. Lewis (quoted by George) "I have the privilege of a father who knows who our Father is in reality... He is not provider in and of itself, but he stewards what God provides." - Amberly Gourlay "You need to love Jesus even more than you love me... dad, what you're telling me is you love Jesus more than you love me. But it didn't matter because it was this bigger picture." - George reflecting on his father's words "As you begin to be uncomfortable and you have to go to God for things because your physical parents are far away, you begin to experience so much more of who He is." - Amberly Gourlay LINKS: Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book  

Seven and a half years ago, a simple question on a cousin's patio changed everything: "How do you stay intentional as a dad?" That moment sparked what became 400 podcast conversations, over 1,000 men mobilized in activation events, and a million dollars raised for ministries serving the fatherless. In this milestone episode, Jeff celebrates by looking back at God's faithfulness, sharing the first-ever preview of the upcoming Dad Awesome book, and highlighting transformational moments from 16 unforgettable conversations that shaped this movement. Takeaways: Milestone moments matter - Pausing to celebrate and shine the spotlight on what God has done builds faith for the journey ahead Small yeses create waves - Dad Awesome wasn't built on one grand gesture but hundreds of small commitments to growth over eight years Intentionality transforms everything - Just like discovering great coffee, small shifts in daily rhythms can revolutionize your entire approach to fatherhood Stories cascade through generations - When dads point to God's goodness consistently, children naturally learn to do the same with their own kids Community accelerates growth - The DA plus three model shows that fatherhood gets exponentially better when you're not doing it alone Generosity reveals faith - Taking steps forward in generosity, whether with time, words, or resources, grows our trust in God's faithfulness Links: Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book Clips from 16 DadAwesome Episodes: 25 | Patei Iyegha 38 | Pursuing Shalom, Chasing Dreams & Being All-On-Dad (Paul Hurckman) 77 | Crafting Key Moments, Modeling KINDNESS & Praying with Desperation (Ryan Skoog) 98 | Awaken The Warrior Heart (Pablo Ceron) 137 | Spirit-Filled Parenting, Hearing God’s Voice, & Shaping our Kids as Arrows (Seth Dahl) 148 | Andy Crouch - The Tech-Wise Family 187 | Jon Tyson on Skillful Manhood, Capturing First Moments & The Intentional Father 214 | Context, Fainting Goats & Being Secretly Awesome (Bob Goff) 238 | A Place for the Heart (Ken Helser) 250 | Raising Kids Humbly, Loving Your Wife Fully, and Soaring Joyfully (Morgan Snyder) 286 | Parenting for the Third Generation, Building Family Assets, and Championing the Beauty of Fatherhood (Jeremy Pryor) 298 | Dialing In, Leading with Love, and Being the Loudest Voice in Your Child’s Ears (Dr. Jackson Drumgoole) 314 | Tackling Fear in a War Zone, Modeling Courage, and Embracing Your True Identity (Jamie Winship) 364 | Bedtime Blessings, Birthday Letters, and 5 Simple but Life-Changing Habits (Justin Whitmel Earley) 375 | Experiential Christianity, Lingering with Jesus, and The War for Your Attention (John Eldredge) 385 | Raising Kids Who Live Generously, Creating Miracle Moments, and the 1% Challenge (Todd Harper)    

🔥 PART 2 is here! Dr. Jake Smith is back with the game-changing attunement triangle that will transform how you connect with your kids. 70% of Christian leaders don't finish well as dads. Don't be part of that statistic. In today's episode, you'll discover: ✅ The 4 components of attunement that create lasting relationships ✅ How to escape the "smothering grind" before it destroys your family ✅ Why behavior modification is sabotaging your connection with your kids ✅ The difference between "crushing life" and actually living it SUMMARY: The battle for your attention as a dad is real, and 70% of Christian leaders won't finish well. In part two of this critical conversation, Dr. Jake Smith reveals the attunement triangle that creates lasting relationships with your kids and how to escape the smothering grind that leads to burnout, flame out, or tap out. You'll discover why seeing your kids underneath their behavior changes everything and how to move from survival-mode parenting to deeply connected fatherhood. TAKEAWAYS: Attunement is the key to all healthy, deeply connected relationships: "I see you, I feel with you, I suffer alongside you, and I delight in you." The smothering grind pushes 70% of dads toward three outcomes: burnout, flame out, or tap out—and none of them are acceptable. Stop teaching your kids to survive you and start teaching them to thrive in the world by moving beyond behavior modification. The attunement triangle consists of attunement at the top, with containment and repair as the foundational supports. You have two escape routes from life's river: hyperphoria (crushing it through activity) or hypophoria (checking out through apathy)—both lead to destruction. Your kids need you to stay in the river of life, feeling what's yours to feel and facing what's yours to face. GUEST: Dr. Jake Smith is a licensed professional counselor, author, and the founder of Plumline Ministries. He specializes in helping men navigate the challenges of modern fatherhood while maintaining their emotional and spiritual health. Jake has extensive experience in counseling Christian leaders and is passionate about helping dads finish well in their most important relationships.  LINKS Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book Plumb Line Ministry (HEART) Plumb Line Ministry (SOUL) Episode 311 | Managing Triggers, Providing a Secure Beginning, and The North Stars of Parenting (Dr. Dan Allender) Episode 398 - Part 1 of conversation with Dr. Jake Smith Dan Allender resources on attunement Chip Dodd - Euphoria River framework QUOTES "I see you, I feel with you, I suffer alongside you, and I delight in you." "70% of Christian leaders don't finish well—don't be part of that statistic." "Stop teaching your kids to survive you and start teaching them to thrive in life." "Are you crushing life or is life crushing you?" "The goal isn't perfect parenting—it's staying in process." "Attunement is the one thing that ensures relationships last." "Your kids don't need behavior modification—they need you to see them." "Escape the grind before it leads to burnout, flame out, or tap out." "Great parents don't always have great kids—but connected parents do." "You don't have to be a perfect dad—you just have to be present."

💔 "If I could pick a nice dad or you, I'd still pick you." That's what Dr. Jake Smith's 4-year-old daughter whispered to him at bedtime. Talk about a truth bomb from the mouth of a child! Jake unpacks how that moment launched his discovery of our "spiritual anatomy"—the four systems that make us complete fathers: ✅ The Loving Companion (Heart) ✅ The Visionary Guide (Soul) ✅ The Strategic Overseer (Mind) ✅ The Driven Warrior (Strength)   Join the  DadAwesome Accelerator 6-Week Cohort:   SUMMARY: What happens when your 4-year-old daughter whispers, "If I could line up all the dads in the world and pick a nice one or you, I'd still pick you"? In this episode, Dr. Jake Smith shares how that truth bomb from his daughter launched him on a journey to discover what he calls our "spiritual anatomy"—the four integrated systems (heart, soul, mind, strength) that Jesus perfectly demonstrated. You'll learn why most dads operate from just one dominant system, how to identify your type, and practical steps to become the whole-hearted, integrated father your kids desperately need. Key Takeaways: Most dads live dominantly from one of four systems (heart, soul, mind, strength) with a "sidekick" system, creating 12 possible father types Whatever you do to yourself emotionally, you'll do to your kids—if you dismiss your own feelings, you'll dismiss theirs Jesus demonstrated perfect integration of all four systems, responding appropriately to each situation rather than predictable patterns The goal isn't to stay in your comfort zone but to develop all four aspects of your spiritual anatomy for complete fatherhood Creating space to understand your own emotions is the upstream work that transforms how you respond to your children's big feelings Guest Bio: Dr. Jake Smith is the founder of Plumb Line, a ministry dedicated to helping men and women live with their whole hearts through healing, wholeness, and purpose. A former pastor of 21 years, Jake now focuses on helping people integrate what he calls their "spiritual anatomy"—the four systems of heart, soul, mind, and strength that Jesus perfectly demonstrated. He and his wife have three children: two sons (19 and 17) and a 14-year-old daughter. Jake is passionate about helping fathers move beyond survival mode to become integrated, whole-hearted leaders in their homes.   Links Mentioned: Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book Plumb Line Ministry (HEART) Plumb Line Ministry (SOUL) Dr. Jake Smith's upcoming book and assessment (releasing early 2026) Episode 311 | Managing Triggers, Providing a Secure Beginning, and The North Stars of Parenting (Dr. Dan Allender)  

✅ The "wooden box method" that transforms phone habits ✅ Why asking "What's the point of fatherhood?" changes everything ✅ How foster care taught them about the infinite value of every child ✅ Why each of your kids needs different parenting approaches   FULL SHOW NOTES   SUMMARY What if the secret to raising kids who aren't addicted to screens isn't about restricting technology—but about making real life more compelling? In this episode, young dad Kieran Lenahan shares practical wisdom from the trenches of parenting four kids under six, including foster care experiences that changed everything. You'll discover why the simple question "What's the point of fatherhood?" should guide every parenting decision, and how a wooden box might be the game-changer your family needs. TAKEAWAYS The fundamental question every dad should ask and keep asking: "What is the point of fatherhood?" Let this guide your decisions rather than just reacting to whatever gets thrown at you. Make real life more compelling than screens by creating engaging experiences—if physical reality is exciting, screens lose their allure naturally. The wooden box method: Put phones in a physical container and commit to never looking at your phone when kids are asking for your attention. Each child needs different parenting approaches—situational leadership applies to fatherhood, so learn to speak each kid's unique "language." Foster care teaches you that every child has infinite value—there's no such thing as "practice" when it comes to loving and caring for any child. GUEST Kieran Lenahan is the founder of Malachi Daily, a scripture memory tool used by over 70,000 people to memorize Bible verses through gamified daily emails. He's an entrepreneur, coach, and father of four children under six, including children through foster care. Kieran and his wife are passionate about making real life more compelling than screens, intentional parenting, and helping families build rhythms around scripture memory. He lives with his family and leads initiatives that blend faith, technology, and practical parenting wisdom. LINKS Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book Malachi Daily (Free Scripture Memory Newsletter) WhisperFlow App (Voice Transcription) Previous Jamie Winship episodes on Dad Awesome QUOTES "The biggest thing is thinking about what is the point of fatherhood? Let that be a really helpful guiding question as you enter fatherhood, and you can keep asking that as you go." "We think that life is good and God created it in the physical real world to be good. If we can make that as compelling as possible, screens lose their allure." "We will never be looking at our phone when our kids are asking for our attention. I never want our kids to feel like our phone is more important than they are." "Not each of our kids needs the exact same type of parenting. The best leaders understand how to speak the language of that team member in a way that's going to motivate them." "If we don't know who we are, it's really hard to live an effective, faithful, obedient life. If that's true for us, how much more true is that for our kids?"

✅ Why your emotional health is the greatest gift to your kids ✅ How to parent non-reactively when hormones and emotions run high ✅ The "backpack" you're handing your children (and how to lighten it) ✅ Simple calendar strategies that reveal what you truly value Full Show Notes Fall 2025 DadAwesome Accelerator SUMMARY Parenting doesn't have to be about survival mode. In this episode, Glenn Packiam shares how intentional rhythms and a focus on resilience can transform your family life. From learning to be non-reactive when hormones hit to using your calendar as a tool for what you truly value, Glenn offers practical wisdom for dads navigating everything from toddlers to young adults getting married. Plus, discover why the healthiest gift you can give your kids might be your own emotional well-being. Key Takeaways: You're going to hand your kids a "backpack" whether you like it or not—the goal is to make it as light as possible by dealing with your own emotional health first. Non-reactive parenting starts with slowing your breath and asking "what else is going on here?" instead of jumping to conclusions. Resilience isn't about avoiding hard emotions—it's about how quickly you recover and what you learn from difficult seasons. Your calendar reveals your true values; intentional rhythms like family dinners and Sabbath don't happen by accident. One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is your own repentance when you mess up. GUEST: Glenn Packiam is the author of The Intentional Year and several other books focused on spiritual formation and resilience. He's a pastor, speaker, and father of four children ranging from teenagers to young adults. Glenn lives in Southern California with his wife Holly, and his oldest daughter recently got engaged. He's passionate about helping parents move from survival mode to intentional, rhythmic family life that builds resilience in both parents and children. LINKS    Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book The Intentional Year by Glenn & Holly Packiam Resilient Pastor resources Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pete Scazzero

✅ Why "lighting up" when your kids walk in the room changes everything ✅ The Christmas tree coaster story that shows how much your kids are watching ✅ How to outsource influence without losing your role as dad ✅ The simple routines that build lasting family connection Leave DadAwesome A VOICEMAIL.  SUMMARY What if the secret to great fatherhood isn't about being in control, but about maximizing your influence? In this From the Vault episode, Dr. Peter Larson shares the game-changing perspective that shifted his entire approach to parenting. From lighting up every time your kid walks in the room to understanding their unique motivational wiring, you'll discover practical ways to build relationships that last. Plus, hear about the dad who visited his son in the hospital 28 days straight and how that legacy of showing up continues today. Takeaways: Influence beats control every time. You can't control your kids, but you can maximize your influence through intentional relationship-building. Light up when they walk in the room. Treat your children like rock stars entering the room—this simple shift builds their security and connection with you. Your kids are always watching. From Christmas tree coasters to how you handle flight delays, you're modeling solutions, character, and faith even when you don't realize it. Outsource positive influence wisely. Youth groups, mentors, and camps aren't competition—they're allies in raising kids who love Jesus. Don't ride their emotional roller coaster. Be the stable sidewalk they can return to, not another passenger on their ups and downs. Mine gold from parents ahead of you. The best parenting advice often comes from observing and asking questions of families you respect. Guest: Dr. Peter Larson is a licensed clinical psychologist and assessment expert who has spent over 20 years developing tools that help people understand their unique design and motivation. He's the creator behind Prepare-Enrich, a premarital assessment used by pastors worldwide, and currently works with GLUE developing assessments for churches and the True Motivate tool for colleges. Peter and his wife Heather have three adult children and live near Minneapolis. He's passionate about helping parents move from control to influence in their relationships with their kids. Links: Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Download a free chapter of the DadAwesome book Prepare-Enrich Assessment Tool True Motivate Assessment GLUE - Assessment and church resources  

✅ How to avoid creating performance identities in your kids ✅ Why "consistency compounds" in parenting just like investing ✅ The 4 legs of legacy (hint: wealth is only 25% of it!)  ✅ How to have intentional family vision meetings that actually work   LEAVE DADAWESOME A VOICEMAIL: speakpipe.com/DadAwesome   FULL SHOW NOTES: https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/394   SUMMARY What if the words you speak as a dad today become your child's inner voice for decades to come? In this episode, Lance Welch—dad of three adult entrepreneurs and grandfather of two—shares how he moved from being a "dictator dad" to a "friend dad" while building intentional multi-generational impact. You'll discover the four stages of fatherhood, why creating performance identities in our kids backfires, and how to transition from survival-mode parenting to legacy-building leadership in your family. Takeaways: There are four distinct stages of fatherhood: dictator dad (young kids), consultant dad (asking "what would you do?"), advocate dad (letting them make mistakes), and friend dad (adult relationships) Consistency compounds—whether in finances or fatherhood, small intentional actions over time create massive impact Avoid creating performance identities in your children by celebrating the "gain" (progress made) rather than focusing on the "gap" (falling short of perfection) Choose your inconvenience: invest time teaching skills on the front end rather than being constantly inconvenienced doing everything yourself The four legs of legacy are vision, values, knowledge, and wealth—with wealth being only one-fourth of what you pass down Empty nest doesn't have to mean relationship decline—40% of couples divorce during this transition, but it can be your greatest season yet Guest: Lance Welch is a legacy navigator, leadership coach, and author of "Legacy Navigator: Creating Intentional Multi-Generational Impact." Along with his wife, he hosts the "Beyond the Nest" podcast, helping couples thrive during the empty nest transition. After spending decades in corporate leadership at a Fortune 100 company, Lance now coaches business leaders and families on creating intentional impact. He and his wife have been married for 37 years, have three adult sons who are all entrepreneurs, and are proud grandparents of two. They live in the Nashville area of Tennessee.   Links Mentioned: Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome: https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Legacy Navigator by Lance Welch Beyond the Nest Podcast with Lance and his wife The Gap and the Gain by Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan First Friday Discussion Guide (Free download from Lance's website)  

✅ Why Kobe chose carpool line over million-dollar meetings ✅ The "TEA" framework (Time, Energy, Attention) that will transform your fathering ✅ Simple practices like 10-minute wrestling time and Wine Wednesdays that create deep family connection FULL SHOW NOTES: SUMMARY Life moves fast, and without intentional direction, we can end up achieving things that don't actually matter. In this episode, John Olinger—former Nike executive and global brand director for Kobe Bryant—shares how tragedy, transition, and the halfway point of life led him to redefine success. You'll hear about his "TEA" framework (Time, Energy, Attention), why Kobe chose carpool line over meetings, and how simple practices like 10-minute wrestling sessions and Wine Wednesdays can transform your family relationships. TAKEAWAYS: Winning is subjective—you must define what success looks like for your family before you can achieve it Your Time, Energy, and Attention (TEA) are finite resources that must be strategically invested in what matters most The halfway point of life (around age 40) is a crucial inflection point for dads to pause and redirect toward meaningful priorities Quality connection moments with kids don't require huge time investments—10 minutes of wrestling or monthly birthday dates can be transformational Relationships matter more than accomplishments, and great stories require embracing challenge and difficulty Creating structured connection points (like Wine Wednesdays for marriage) protects what's most important from the chaos of daily life QUOTES: "Winning is subjective. And the only way you can win is if you get extremely clear about what it means to win." - John Olinger "We're under attack all day long from distractions, our brains playing tricks on us about what things are fulfilling in the moment, going after short hits of dopamine, chasing success and accomplishments at the expense of other things." - John Olinger "The reason why [Kobe] worked out at 4am was because he wanted to be there in the morning when his kids got up and before they went to school... At two o'clock, he's done. Hard stop. Why? He's got to go to the carpool line." - John Olinger "Can you just pause and say, what's one thing that's simple that I could apply to point into the relationships with the people that matter the most to me?" - John Olinger "If I'm halfway done, that means that every year for the rest of my life is gonna be between one and 2% of the remaining amount of my life. Do I wanna wait for later to do the things that are most important?" - John Olinger GUEST John Olinger is the author of "Worthy Wins: Pointing Your Life Toward What Matters Most" and a former Nike executive who served as global brand director for Kobe Bryant. After over a decade at Nike, John made a cross-country move with his family to Florida, choosing intentional fatherhood over corporate climbing. He and his wife have three boys (ages 10, 8, and 5) and are passionate about helping other parents define and pursue what truly matters most. John speaks and consults on leadership, purpose, and the intersection of success and significance. LINKS: Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 "Worthy Wins: Pointing Your Life Toward What Matters Most" by John Olinger DadAwesome ACCELERATOR Coaching Groups

  ✅ Why you should train your child in the way THEY should go (not your way) ✅ How failing forward teaches your kids resilience better than perfect parenting ✅ The 4 pillars that transform boys into men: Identity, Strength, Courage, Influence ✅ Why showing up consistently matters more than having all the answers FULL SHOW NOTES SUMMARY: When you move your family halfway around the world to serve fatherless boys, you quickly discover that you're learning as much about fatherhood as you're teaching. In this episode, Bryan Greenwood shares 11 years of discoveries from Thailand—from building the largest amateur football league in Northern Thailand to creating government-approved mentorship programs for at-risk youth. You'll hear why your kids need to see you failing forward, how to train them in the way THEY should go (not the way you want them to go), and why showing up consistently matters more than having all the answers. TAKEAWAYS: Train up your child in the way THEY should go, not the way you want them to go—this requires discovering their unique identity and strengths Your kids need to see you failing forward and living with purpose beyond just being a great dad Consistent presence matters more than perfect parenting—just showing up creates lasting impact Create safe environments where your kids can respectfully disagree and engage in real dialogue You'll never know who you are until you know who your Father is—this principle transforms both dads and kids The four pillars of strong character: Identity (knowing who you are), Strength (putting gifts under pressure), Courage (living for others), and Influence (natural result of the first three) GUEST: Bryan Greenwood is the founder of Outboundlife Inc, a ministry focused on assisting the fatherless through mentoring young men. For over 13 years, Bryan and his wife Valerie have lived in Northern Thailand, creating mentorship programs now integrated into the Thai Department of Probation system. Their work targets young men leaving orphanages, foster care, juvenile prison, and those at risk of human trafficking. They've built the largest amateur football league in Northern Thailand as a "fishing pond" for identifying young men who need fathering. Bryan and Valerie have two adult children and continue their mission of helping boys discover their identity, develop strength, find courage, and use their influence. LINKS Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome   Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Outboundlife Inc Ministry DadAwesome Accelerator

✅ Why weakness connects you deeper with your kids than strength ever could ✅ How to transform your dinner table into sacred space ✅ Ancient practices that can revolutionize your modern family ✅ The power of prayer retreats for busy dads   SUMMARY What if your family isn't broken and doesn't need fixing—but is actually a garden that needs nurturing? In this episode, Dave Brickey shares how shifting from a mechanical mindset to an agricultural approach transforms fatherhood. You'll discover why your weaknesses connect you deeper with your kids than your strengths ever could, and how simple practices like prayer retreats and sacred family meals can become life-changing rhythms. Plus, Dave opens up about his wife's miraculous healing and how walking through valleys as a family creates unbreakable bonds. Top 5 Quotes: "My strength points my kids to me as their savior, but my weakness points them to who my savior is." "Our families aren't broken and need fixing—they are gardens in need of nurturing." "The beauty of parenting is marked more by weakness than strength. No one has a bird's eye view into the messiness of someone's life other than a spouse and children—they see it all." "You can change behavior through control, but you cannot change a heart." "Isolation puts a magnifying glass on pain, and us guys—some of us are professional isolators." Key Takeaways: The depth of relationship you experience with teenagers was built during their childhood years through consistent presence and creating a safe space An agricultural approach to family life focuses on long-term nurturing rather than quick fixes and immediate results Ancient practices like prayer retreats, sacred meals, and singing together can transform modern family life Weakness and vulnerability in parenting creates deeper connection than always being the strong hero Spiritual family—mentors, spiritual grandparents, and community—multiplies the impact of seeing, knowing, and celebrating your children Isolation magnifies pain, while community provides perspective and hope during difficult seasons GUEST Dave Brickey is a lead pastor in the Northwest suburbs of Minnesota and father of four children in the graduation phase. He and his wife Stephanie describe their family life as a "beautiful mess." Dave is passionate about helping families shift from mechanical thinking to agricultural approaches in parenting and faith. He advocates for ancient practices like prayer retreats, sacred family meals, and building spiritual community as essential elements of thriving family life. Links: Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort  awesome@dadawesome.org Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Pacem in Terrace Prayer Retreat Center https://www.paceminterris.org/ Wilderness Fellowship Prayer Center https://www.wildernessfellowship.com/ Dave Brickey's "Machines to Gardens" message (church resource) -  (start at 45 minutes)

🎯 Are you aiming at the right target as a dad? Josh Kubler joins us with game-changing insights from Manhood Journey's survey of 6,000 Christian fathers. The stats might surprise you: Only 22% regularly read Scripture with their kids 78% don't spend intentional time discipling their children Less than 17% pray regularly as a family beyond meals and bedtime But here's the good news—these aren't defeating numbers, they're opportunities! 💪 SUMMARY: What does it really look like to prepare our children for the spiritual battles ahead? In this episode, Josh Kubler from Manhood Journey shares eye-opening insights from their massive survey of 6,000 Christian fathers—and the results might surprise you. Plus, he opens up about his family's foster care and adoption journey, the sanctifying power of stewardship over ownership, and why viewing our children as "arrows in the hand of a warrior" changes everything about our parenting approach. TAKEAWAYS: 📖 Only 22% of Christian fathers regularly read their Bible with their children—but that's not a defeating number, it's an opportunity for intentional growth. 🏠 Foster care taught one powerful lesson: we're stewards, not owners, of ALL our children—biological or adopted. 🚁 Instead of helicopter or submarine parenting, find the middle ground that cultivates independence and decision-making in your kids. 👀 Your children know what's truly important to you—they can tell if baseball matters more than church or if stress matters more than presence. 💪 The goal isn't perfection; it's purposefulness. When we fail, we apologize, model humility, and show our kids we need Jesus too. 🎯 If our target is anything other than our children loving God, enjoying Him, and bringing Him glory, we're aiming at the wrong target. GUEST Josh Kubler is the Director of Church Engagement for Manhood Journey and one of the founding pastors of Redeemer Baptist Church in Olive Branch, Mississippi. Josh and his wife Katie have five children, including two daughters adopted through foster care. He's passionate about equipping fathers and churches to raise the next generation for God's glory. Fun fact: Josh grew up with some unique pets—including three cougars, a wolf, and two skunks! https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/390 LINKS Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome Dad Awesome Accelerator Coaching: https://dadawesome.org/coaching Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 State of Biblical Fatherhood Report: https://manhoodjourney.org/state-of-biblical-fatherhood Manhood Journey Resources: https://manhoodjourney.org 

🥝 32 years avoiding kiwi fruit. One taste changed everything. What if the same breakthrough is waiting in your fatherhood? Jeff Zaugg's Father's Day message will shift how you see those "annoying" parenting moments: ✅ Why pace, pain, people & perspective steal your wonder (and how to fight back) ✅ The Hebrew word "tov" that unlocks God's explosive delight in creation ✅ How a simple cup of water can activate you to lead with awe instead of annoyance This isn't just inspiration—it's activation. You'll walk away with the Fight or Flight Dad Challenge that turns ordinary moments into opportunities to treasure your calling. https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/389 Summary:  Wonder isn't just a nice feeling—it's a weapon against the thieves trying to steal your joy as a dad. In this powerful Father's Day message, Jeff Zaugg reveals how a simple kiwi fruit taught him the difference between avoidance and amazement, and why the words "stop and consider God's wonders" could transform your entire approach to fatherhood. From bedtime water requests to marriage struggles, discover how ordinary moments become opportunities to fight for your family with eyes of awe. Key Takeaways: Wonder multiplies when we move from avoidance to curiosity—God's goodness is waiting to be discovered and shared Four thieves steal our capacity for awe: pace (hurried living), pain (unhealed wounds), people (unforgiveness), and perspective (familiarity) The "tov" principle shows us God's explosive delight in creation and invites us to mirror that same wonder toward our children A dad who fights for his family anchors on three words: loved (secure identity), learner (humble growth), and leader (purposeful connection) Simple triggers like a cup of water can activate us to lead with wonder instead of annoyance Guest Jeff Zaugg is the founder of DadAwesome and host of over 390 podcast episodes, helping fathers across the country discover the joy of fatherhood. Through his work with FATHERS FOR THE FATHERLESS, he's mobilized over 1,100 men through endurance challenges that have raised over $1 million for vulnerable children. Jeff believes the single greatest gift dads can give their children is the gift of presence—being fully with them in each moment. He and his wife Michelle have been married for eighteen years and are parents to four daughters, currently based in Northeast Florida, where you'll find him surfing with his girls or building epic backyard rope swings. Quotes: "We honor God in heaven by treasuring the gift of fatherhood, not just enduring it." "Wonder isn't the absence of pain, but the ability to see God's beauty and goodness even in our suffering." "You gotta be son awesome before you try to show up as dad awesome—get soaking wet with God's love first." "Our pace robs us of awe. When there's no space to gaze, celebrate, or pause, we can't encounter God's goodness." "I want to get to the rocking chair with love on my heart, not unforgiveness weighing me down." "We can choose to treasure fatherhood or endure fatherhood—familiarity keeps us from wonder." "A cup of water can activate us to lead with wonder instead of moving toward annoyance."  

Ken Sande joins us for PART 2 to share game-changing tools every dad needs: ✅ The SOG Plan: Self-aware, Other-aware, God-aware conflict resolution ✅ The SERVE Acrostic: How to love your wife like Christ loves the church ✅ Why bringing the gospel beats lecturing every time SUMMARY Every dad faces conflict at home, but most of us handle it all wrong. In this episode, Ken Sande shares powerful tools that will transform how you navigate family tension. You'll discover the SOG plan for conflict resolution, learn the SERVE acrostic for loving your wife well, and hear an incredible story about how bringing the gospel to his 12-year-old daughter melted her rebellious heart in seconds. These aren't just concepts—they're practical tools you can use tonight. TAKEAWAYS The SOG plan (Self-aware, Other-aware, God-aware) breaks the cycle of self-justification and blame in family conflicts. Asking "What would please and honor God right now?" can instantly transform heated arguments into opportunities for growth. The SERVE acrostic gives dads a clear roadmap for loving their wives: Smile, Explore, Reconcile, Value, Encourage. Bringing the gospel to your kids is more powerful than any lecture—it softens hearts and creates lasting change. When daddy comes home, the whole household should light up because you've learned to put wind under everyone's wings. GUEST Ken Sande is the founder of Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom 360. As a lawyer turned peacemaker, he has helped resolve over 600 family conflicts, including 300+ marriages headed for divorce. Ken is the author of multiple books on conflict resolution and relational wisdom. He and his wife Corlette have been married for nearly 40 years and are more in love today than ever before. LINKS Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Learn about the DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Peacemaker Ministries Relational Wisdom 360 Ken Sande's Blog on Humility, Teachability, and Flexibility Seven Steps to Empathy Resource Young Peacemaker Curriculum (The 5 A's for Kids)

✅ The Seven A's of confession (and why "I'm sorry" isn't enough for deep healing) ✅ How to break the cycle of emotionally stunted men in your family line ✅ The 6-second technique that can save your marriage and your relationships with your kids ✅ Why going "upstream" is better than constantly putting out fires FULL SHOW NOTES >  SUMMARY: What if the reason marriages grow cold after the honeymoon year isn't about compatibility, but about something dads never learned to model? In this episode, Ken Sande reveals how emotionally stunted men are created when fathers never show their kids how to say "I'm sorry" or "I need help." You'll discover the Seven A's of confession that can break generational patterns and the upstream approach to preventing conflict before it starts. Plus, Ken shares practical tools for managing your emotions in the heat of the moment—including the six-second technique that can save your tongue from doing damage. Key Takeaways: More people are watching your responses to conflict than you realize—about 10 times more—and you're teaching through your reactions. The Seven A's of confession provide a framework for meaningful apologies that actually heal relationships rather than just checking a box. Emotional stunting passes from generation to generation when fathers never model humility, confession, or asking for help. The READ technique (Recognize, Evaluate, Anticipate, Direct) helps you manage amygdala hijacking and respond thoughtfully instead of reactively. Going "upstream" to prevent conflict through relational wisdom is more effective than constantly putting out the fires of broken relationships. Your royal identity as a child of God, friend of Jesus, and ambassador of reconciliation should shape how you lead your family 24/7. Guest: Ken Sande founded Peacemaker Ministries and Relational Wisdom 360, organizations focused on conflict resolution and relationship skills. After 30 years of mediating conflicts—including over 600 divorce cases with more than half reconciling—Ken shifted focus to go "upstream" and help people prevent conflict through biblical emotional intelligence. He's the author of multiple books on peacemaking and relational wisdom, and lives in Billings, Montana, where he enjoys hiking and backpacking with his family and grandchildren. Links Mentioned: Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Young Peacemaker Curriculum (The 5 A's for Kids) Discovering Relational Wisdom Online Course Relational Peacemaking Course Relational Wisdom 360 (RW360.org) Peacemaker Ministries resources Six Skills That Help Every Relationship Three Qualities Blog  

✅ Why smartphones make us feel god-like (and why that's dangerous) ✅ The 4 research-backed rules for kids and technology ✅ How a church-wide digital fast transformed an entire community ✅ What a therapy dog named Bruce taught him about presence SUMMARY: Parenting teenagers in a digital world feels impossible—especially when you're struggling with your own phone addiction. In this episode, Darren Whitehead (dad of 4 teenage girls) shares how he led his entire church through a 40-day digital fast and discovered the secret to high-definition parenting. You'll hear why smartphones make us feel god-like, how to have the phone conversation with your kids, and what a Havanese dog named Bruce taught him about presence. FULL SHOW NOTES: Key Takeaways: Smartphones simulate God's attributes (omniscience, omnipresence, omnipotence) and we weren't built for limitless power Collective action is more effective than individual willpower—do digital fasts as a community, not alone No smartphones before high school, no social media before 16, phone-free schools, and more unsupervised outdoor play When you put your phone down, you experience parenting in "high definition"—fully present and aware of these fleeting moments The most precious moments with your kids are being exchanged for infinitely trivial distractions Guest Darren Whitehead is the author of The Digital Fast and senior pastor of Journey Church in Franklin, Tennessee. He's a former youth pastor turned girl dad of four teenage daughters (ages 11, 14, 16, and 18). Darren has led thousands of people through digital detoxes and speaks regularly about technology, parenting, and spiritual formation. He and his wife live in Tennessee with their daughters and Bruce, their Havanese therapy dog.   Links Mentioned: Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort: Email awesome@dadawesome.org Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 The Digital Fast by Darren Whitehead Journey Church Franklin, Tennessee The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Sissy Goff (teenage girl counselor)      

✅ Why most dads get generosity completely wrong (and how to flip the script) ✅ Fun tactics to teach young kids the joy of giving (the $20 tip story will blow your mind!) ✅ The simple 4-pillar framework that works at any income level ✅ How money lies to our families about security, control, and happiness SUMMARY Money whispers lies to our kids every single day—promising security, control, and happiness it can never deliver. In this powerful episode, Todd Harper shares how his son went from declaring "I'm going to be filthy rich and never give a dollar away" at 15 to sacrificially giving a third of his salary before his death at 26. You'll discover why most dads approach generosity as an "ought to" instead of a "get to," practical ways to make giving fun for young kids, and Todd's simple four-pillar framework that works regardless of your income level. Takeaways The switch from "ought to" to "get to" changes everything about generosity—and kids can smell obligation from a mile away Once someone tastes the joy of giving, they never go back; Todd has never met a "former generous person" Simple tactics like leaving a $20 tip on a $3 check and watching through the window create unforgettable generosity moments for kids The four pillars of stewardship: Work diligently, give generously, save responsibly, live contentedly Money lies to us about security, control, happiness, and affirmation—contentment isn't tied to financial realities Taking kids to serve special needs children or experiencing international poverty shatters entitlement and builds gratitude The 1% challenge: increase your giving by 1% each year and watch God's faithfulness compound over decades Guest: Todd Harper is a passionate advocate for biblical generosity and the heart behind Generous Giving, where he's spent 25 years helping families discover the joy of open-handed living. Married to his college sweetheart for 37 years, Todd is a father of eight kids (five biological, three through marriage) and is about to become a grandfather. After losing his eldest son Davis seven and a half years ago, Todd has gained a deeper perspective on eternal values and the importance of living with heaven in view. Through Generous Giving, he's worked with families across the wealth spectrum, helping them experience the life-changing shift from obligation-based giving to joy-filled generosity. Links: Send a Voice Message to DadAwesome Learn about the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 Generous Giving: www.generousgiving.org Journey of Generosity experiences National Christian Foundation Nathaniel's Hope (Make Them Smile events) Quotes: "We can't BS our kids. They read through all of it. If we're generous out of obligation, it's not going to translate differently for them." "I've never met a former generous person." "The world of the generous gets larger and larger. The world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller." "Everybody wants to experience a miracle, but nobody wants to be in a position to need one." "Money, money, money—all I really want is my dad to know my friends' names."   Davis Harper’s gift to his dad on his 50th birthday: 1) I love how you love mom. Your marriage is such a great example to me.  2) I love how you brag on your kids. You're always telling someone about the cool things your kids are doing.  3) I love that you love watching basketball with me and asking questions. You want to know my world.  4) I love that you took us on trips growing up, im learning the value of all those experiences as I grow up.  5) I love how international you are about family time. You are the most happy whenever you are with your family.  6) I love that you are active. It's bad to the bone that you still cycle and golf and water ski, you're a total cool dad!  7) I love your saying "pay for experiences, not stuff"  8) I love hearing how good a friend you are to people. People are always telling me how incredible of a friend you are to them.  9) I love that you're a reader. You're always telling me about something you're reading or something I should check out.  10) I love that you unconditionally love me. Your example of how to love your wife and kids is incredible.