DiscoverThe Three Wisemen of Divorce: Money, Psych & Law
The Three Wisemen of Divorce: Money, Psych & Law
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The Three Wisemen of Divorce: Money, Psych & Law

Author: Shawn Weber, CLS-F, Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® and Scott Weiner, Ph.D., J.D.

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Sit down with “The California Divorce Experts”: Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Divorce Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney for a frank and casual conversation about divorce, separation, co-parenting and the difficult decisions real people like you face during these tough times.We know that if you are considering divorce or separation, it can be scary and overwhelming. With combined experience of over 70 years in divorce and conflict management, we are here for you and look forward to helping by sharing our unique ideas, thoughts and perspectives on divorce, separation, and co-parenting. This podcast is for informational purposes only. Every family law case is unique, so no legal, financial or mental health advice is intended during this podcast. If you need help with your specific situation, feel free to schedule a time to speak with one of us for a personal consultation.*Certified Specialist – Family LawThe State Bar of California Board of Legal Specialization.
38 Episodes
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We've seen it time and again in divorce cases.  When adultery happens, sometimes the adulterer has no clue what kind of pain they are causing.  It's almost like folks have blinders.  While most states have "no-fault" divorce, the pain of an affair can adversely affect agreement readiness during divorce negations whether courts recognizes fault or not.  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss the psychology and emotional ramifications of adultery on divorce negotiations.
Sometimes during a divorce mediation someone makes a proposal that is so off-base it is insulting.  The temptation is to get angry, yell or even storm out of the room.  But maybe there is a better approach.  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss what happens when someone makes a crazy or even insulting proposal during a divorce negotiation.
The Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss the strange COVID influenced real estate market and how it impacts the decisions people in their divorce.  Wisemen, financial divorce advisor Mark Hill, CFP, CDFA, psychologist Scott Weiner, J.D., Ph.D. and attorney Shawn Weber, CLS-F chat with realtor and Weber Dispute Resolution mediator Robert Flynn, J.D., SRES.  For more information about Robert Flynn's real estate business, visit https://fairwayresidential.com/agents/robert-flynn/.  To inquire about his mediation practice work with Weber Dispute Resolution, visit https://weberdisputeresolution.com/our-mediators/.
So, you survived the process of divorcing your ex.  Now you want to remarry.  How do you avoid repeating same mistakes you made the first time around?   In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how to start the next relationship on the right foot. 
Financial Disclosures

Financial Disclosures

2021-05-0434:58

Financial Disclosures are necessary in every divorce.  While the process can be tedious, divorcing parties need to do the financial disclosures truthfully and thoroughly.  We know that money can mean a lot of different things to different people.    In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, chat about the importance of the financial disclosures and the emotional and legal challenges they raise.
It's very easy to get stuck in a certain way of approaching things, especially during the challenges of a divorce negotiation.  In this episode, Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how creative thinking by "thinking outside the box" can lead to better and happier outcomes.
Originally recorded on March 8, 2023, the Three Wisemen sit down with Massachusetts Attorney and Mediator Beth Aarons, JD, MSW to discuss the multi-dimensional aspects of the marital home and how it hits the emotional, legal and financial aspects of a divorce.  The Three Wisemen of Divorce are Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney.
Need to get a prenup?  What about a postnuptial agreement after your already married?   Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss why formal marital agreements can be good and why pillow talk agreements don't count.  
Sometimes Valentine's Day, a day supposedly to express love, can be the very catalyst that leads to the final decision to divorce.  Sometimes these annual celebrations become triggering to people.  The Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss the post-Valentine's Day divorce surge and the relationship psychology that seem to attend such important days.  Is it the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back?  The final break in the dike? Divorce Wisemen   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk it out.
It is rare that both spouses mutually agreed that a divorce should happen.  Usually, there is a "leavor" and a "leavee".  What do you do if you want a divorce and the other person doesn't want to "grant" the divorce?  This week, Divorce Wisemen   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss letting the myriad of issues that occur when one spouse wants out and the other won't leave.
Most jurisdictions in the United States embrace the concept of  so-called "no-fault divorce".  It makes sense for the Court.  No Judge wants to involve themselves in deciding who is a fault when a marriage fails.  It's a recipe for a soap opera reality TV proceeding.  So the divorce for "irreconcilable differences" often makes the most sense.  But some folks can't walk away from the idea of blaming someone for the demise of the marriage.  This week, the Three Wisemen of Divorce discuss what to do when a party to a divorce insists on assigning blame even in the no-fault divorce.   Divorce experts Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk it out. 
It's that time of the year for New Year's Resolutions.  When folks are facing marital problems, they often include a divorce in their plans for the New Year.  In this time of rebooting, how can people approach these changes?   From a menu ranging from better co-parenting, setting boundaries and new financial choices, what other resolutions might the newly separated consider ?   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss letting go of the old and ringing in the New Year with a new outlook.
Divorce can wreak havoc on family holiday traditions.  But divorcing parents have the ability to make holidays less painful and a nice memory for their children.  While the experience may not be a Norman Rockwell postcard, it can be positive if co-parents take the right steps.   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how separated parents can arrange their co-parenting and custody arrangements during the holidays in a way that can make the holidays a good experience for the kids.
Divorce is heartbreaking and emotionally tough.  During this Thanksgiving holiday, it may be difficult to think about being thankful during such a challenging time.  But we have learned that an attitude of gratitude in spite of the challenges can make a big difference.   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, tackle this wisdom of finding a silver lining even when there are dark storm clouds.
Two topics this week.  First, what is the best approach to talking to your kids about the breakup?  We talk about how to get through that difficult conversation.  Next, and surprisingly related, we talk about how to juggle the holidays during and after the divorce.    Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, talk it out.
It's elections season.  We are in the middle of some of the most stressful times of a generation.  Between politics, pandemics, and general paranoia, there is a lot on people's minds.  What do folks do when divorce happens in these troubled times.   Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss how current events are affecting families grappling with the challenging transitions of divorce.
Like dog breeds, people have different personality types.  Some are more easy going than others.  Some struggle to get along with others.  The personality types in the marriage has a huge impact on how the divorce will go.  The Three Wisemen of Divorce, Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, welcome nationally recognized personality expert Dr. Richard Levak to discuss the profound effect personality type has on the divorce along with helpful tips for how to manage different and sometimes difficult personalities.Dr. Levak aside from his excellent private practice has been a consultant to reality television programs including Survivor, Big Brother, Amazing Race, Apprenctice and others.  Dr. Levak was able to use his expertise in this role to make highly accurate predictions about people’s behavior based on personality assessment to assist producers in assembling costs for these popular programs in a way that captured America’s interest.Dr. Levak also serves as a exert witness in forensic cases and has a thriving specialty in organizational consulting, assisting businesses with executive hiring, development and team building.
High Conflict Divorce

High Conflict Divorce

2020-10-1649:29

A divorce case with an honest-to-goodness narcissist, borderline, or antisocial personality disorder can be a recipe for a super nasty experience.  You can't interact with a High Conflict Personality (HCP) like you would with other folks.  In their minds, everything is somebody else's fault and they live for a fight.  They are blamers, hotheads, narcissists and antagonists. It requires a special skill to navigate cases with a High Conflict Personality.In this episode, we welcome one of the world's foremost authorities on dealing with High Conflict Personalities and their costly disputes, Bill Eddy, JD, LCSW,  Co-founder of the High Conflict Institute.  Author of excellent books like Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder,  It's All Your Fault!, and 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life, Bill shares his three theories of the High Conflict Case and gives us a sneak preview of his groundbreaking upcoming book: BIFF™ for CoParent Communication:  Your Guide to Difficult CoParent Texts, Emails and Social Media Posts. 
Anger and Divorce

Anger and Divorce

2020-10-1037:15

Who's angry?  It seems that in divorce, anger is very prevalent.  But anger is a secondary emotion following hurt.  While anger is natural, it can get in the way of thinking clearly and making good decisions.    Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, discuss the effect rage can have on a divorce case and strategies people can use to control it.
This week we have an enriching discussion with Collaborative Divorce icon Nancy J. Ross, LCSW.  Nancy pioneered the concept of the Collaborative Divorce Coach in California at the beginning of the Collaborative Divorce movement.  Mark C. Hill, CFP®, CDFA® Financial Divorce Consultant; Scott Weiner, Psychologist, Attorney and Mediator; and Shawn Weber, CLS-F* Family Law Mediator and Divorce Attorney, chat with Nancy about how a divorce coach can help with the difficult emotions of divorce and how the current events such as Covid-19 and increased societal polarization make the Collaborative Divorce Coach a crucial party of your divorce team.
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