Video High

Welcome to HELLGATE (1989)! A place where you can relax and remember the simpler times - doo-wop on the radio, menacing bikers, huge mustaches, the inability to be female and not get objectified in a diner, old-timey attractions that somehow make money...we've got it all! We'd like to thank you for joining us! Another Schlocktober, another head-scratcher. Just the way we like it. Don't forget your pie! ⁠⁠ INSTAGRAM⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠TIKTOK⁠⁠ | ⁠⁠XWITTER

Like a dog with a bone, we're obsessed with BINGO (1991). This shaggy dog story follows a runaway circus dog that travels America in search of a family. Billed as starring a "sort of canine Macaulay Culkin," this dog and pony show comes straight from the Blockbuster shelves of Jamie's memory. But is this another forgotten childhood gem, or are we barking up the wrong tree? Go Packers! ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ | ⁠FACEBOOK⁠ | ⁠TIKTOK⁠ | ⁠XWITTER

We may not know anything about astrology, but we know what we like. And that's not knowing anything about astrology. INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TIKTOK | XWITTER

If the title means anything, it's the sheer pace with which new concepts are thrown out in SPLIT SECOND (1992). A thematic chopped salad, this dystopian thriller stars Rutger Hauer as a indeterminably psychic cop on the edge chasing a heart-eating serial killer through the flooded streets of London to avenge the death of the partner he cuckolded before he is driven mad by the heartbeat of the clawed rat-mutant sewer dweller that may be the actual Devil with an interest in astrology and scampish sense of humor. What's that? Blood? Coming out of my nose? Huh. INSTAGRAM | TIKTOK | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

Like a flightless pun-slinging pterosaur, ADVENTURES IN DINOSAUR CITY (1991) comes crawling up from way down in our collective memory holes. Maybe we caught it on the Disney Channel. Maybe it's just another piece of the omnipresent dinosaur media of the 90s. Maybe Forry is just the most Video High friendly character we've watched. But this group of friends who have nothing better to do than dive into a VHS sure did love this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle cribbing mess about a group of friends diving into a VHS. At least we'll always have Tar Town. INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TIKTOK | TWITTER

Can't believe summer's almost over. No more songs around the campfire. No more passed around porno mags. No more encounters with Christ. Soon we'll go back to our boring lives, and drink the Flavor Aid with the rest of the squares. They say that's the real SUMMER CAMP NIGHTMARE (1987) EXTRA CREDIT episode, ya know? INSTAGRAM | TIKTOK | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

In the name of the glorious revolution, do not wake us from this SUMMER CAMP NIGHTMARE (1987). This not-so-campy, surprisingly affective anti-authoritarian allegory Lord of the Flies in the face of its summer camp slasher packaging. Chuck Connors earns a Video High merit badge for showing up once again, this time as a pious camp director on the wrong side of a horny teenage people's rebellion. And it's the first movie we've done based on a book, so it pretty much counts as reading. Ya'll know us. We're Ed Heinz! ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ | ⁠TIKTOK⁠ | ⁠FACEBOOK⁠ | ⁠TWITTER

It's a mad mad mad max world in the post-apocalyptic western STEEL DAWN (1987). In this dystopian rip-off of the western classic SHANE, a dirty but non-dancing Patrick Swayze saunters out of the wasteland and into the arms of his real life wife, Lisa Niemi. But will a water robber baron, a knife-kneeing assassin, and the cries of a young boy to come back stop our unnamed hero? Not even a little. Now that's what I call wind racing! ⁠INSTAGRAM⁠ | ⁠TIKTOK⁠ | ⁠FACEBOOK⁠ | ⁠TWITTER

Ready Player One? Take off that VR headset cuz EVOLVER (1995) is stepping out of the game and into the living room of one lucky contest winner (Ethan Embry). But this supposedly family-friendly adversary hates to lose and plays for keeps. A state-of-the-art robot voiced by William H. Macy goes on a killing spree in a 90s rental store classic where hi-tech meets low-class. And joining our class is stand up comedian PETER ANGELO (@metalpetecomedy), who's ready to tea-bag this bot. Get good. Check out Pete and fellow Video High alum Neil Rubenstein's new podcast: Can't Stop, Should Stop! INSTAGRAM | TIKTOK | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

To celebrate three years of Video High, the class infiltrates the airspace of another jungle shoot-em-up Rambo II ripoff with DELTA FORCE COMMANDO (1987). Brett Baxter Clark packs the guns and the pecs for just the right amount of M60 muscle jiggle, and Fred Williamson backs him up with cool quips and just the right amount of romantic subtext. The plot has something to do with avenging a murdered wife and a stolen nuclear weapon. But that's not important. We just need to know if it's ok to think a reactionary film villainizing a democratic people's revolution is this rad. Happy Commandoversary, class! INSTAGRAM | TIKTOK | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

We need an extra week to get our heads around the 1993 Super Mario Bros movie. But thankfully after our "final thoughts" on DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (2000), we just couldn't shut up. Enjoy a taste of what happens after class, and we'll see you in the Mushroom Kingdom next week. INSTAGRAM | TIKTOK | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

This never happens to us. But we went on a little tangent during our last episode with comedian Neil Rubenstein (@neilrubenstein) and accidentally talked about A-Movies and mainstream properties, like Star Wars, Game of Thrones, and American racism. INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

Lorenzo Lamas is Boston's finest BOUNTY TRACKER (1993), and his Los Angeles vacation is about to be cut short by the grisly murders of his brother and pretty much everyone else in the movie. Matthias Hues leads a team of untraceable leather-clad assassins that enter and exit every room guns blazing, silencing anyone connected to the money laundering schemes of a jailed millionaire. Will our Bounty Tracker be able to stop doing karate and community outreach long enough to stop this mass murderer? We tracked down stand-up comedian Neil Rubenstein (@neilrubenstein) to help us reach these kids. Neil's Comedy Special GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/HaveSomeDignity INSTAGRAM | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

In the nearish future Paco Queruak is a cyborg with second thoughts about his mission to assassinate an environmental crusader. After going on the run from his handlers, Paco wanders into an entirely different movie...an arm wrestling competition flick! HANDS OF STEEL (1986) is chock full of surprises. It has toilet paper based pranks. It has phallic computer renderings. It even has a helicopter chase that puts the "death" in "death-defying". You have no future, except to listen to this week's episode! INSTAGRAM⁠  | ⁠FACEBOOK⁠ | ⁠TWITTER

When you're whatever this gang is called, you're what that word is all the way. In KNIGHTS OF THE CITY (1986), Leon Isaac Kennedy leads a street gang of chain-swinging, switch-blading, tight leather shirt-wearing, bad b-boys with dreams of musical stardom taking them beyond their rough streets. The big music competition is their last shot to prove something to themselves and everyone else - except the record label head, who threw the contest specifically to see and sign them. But will rival gangs, a romance with the execs daughter, and the existential angst of being a gang that now focuses on music instead of violence break them? Or will it Breakin' 2 them? INSTAGRAM  | FACEBOOK | TWITTER

Somewhere in the jungles of Southeast Asia, a drug kingpin has kidnapped another drug kingpin, foiling the DEA's plans and demanding his daughter bring him a key to a safety deposit box. Now it's up to golden throat gargantuan Reb Brown to shoot everyone and get whoever's left on the LAST FLIGHT TO HELL (1990). While we love Italian schlock jungle shoot-em-ups as much as the next school, this one rebbed some of us the wrong way. Today's episode brought to you by Long John Silvers, and their new Buttered "Lobster" Bites. INSTAGRAM  |  FACEBOOK  |  TWITTER

It’s January-Michael Vincent, so out of respect, today’s lesson plan will debate the ethics of death by ALIENATOR (1990): a Fred Olen Ray riff on two classic 80s franchises that, combined, make for something much more. A cast of B-movie vets, scenic Griffith Park shooting locales, and a cyborg female body builder with a gun arm make for essential Video High watching. Enroll today:  INSTAGRAM  |  FACEBOOK  |  TWITTER

Video High once again puts its ear to the door of the future to listen to what cinema is coyly whispering about the year 2023. We see it all: what has passed,  what's to come, and what may yet shall be. The only thing we don't see is texts from each other to make sure we don't all cover the same movie. But our resolution this year is to try to be attentive, B-E attentive. The class discusses movies set in the year 2023, such as BRING IT ON: CHEER OR DIE (2022) and [redacted] and etc etc. INSTAGRAM  |  TWITTER  |  FACEBOOK

We pulled a gift from the video store shelves, because this Christmas we're unwrapping ELVES (1989)! When a young woman summons a killer elf from the grass; An ex-detective mall Santa helps her kick Nazi ass. Given three ideas and a week for the script; Writer/director Jeffrey Mandel pulled it together fast as St. Nick! Plus the class has questions about elf folklore; Luckily Greg may have some answers in store. INSTAGRAM  |  FACEBOOK  |  TWITTER

Even if the title makes it a little obvious, it's still possible to get lost in L.A. BOUNTY (1989). Written and produced by star Sybil Danning, she cast herself as Ruger: a monosyllabic ex-cop turned bounty hunter following the trail of a kidnapped mayoral candidate.  But let's face it, we're all here for the main attraction - Wings Hauser! - who delivers a trademark enigmatic villain performance that has the class asking themselves whether Heath Ledger deserves his posthumous Oscar. Was that a good one, God? INSTAGRAM  |  FACEBOOK  |  TWITTER