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A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice

Author: Rebekah Shackney

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Therapists may seem like they have all the answers, but that doesn’t mean they can easily apply them to their own lives. Join Rebekah Shackney as she discusses her own challenges with guests who offer unique insight into overcoming them. Whether you’re struggling with the effects of the COVID-19/coronavirus pandemic, trying to devote more time to self-care or meditation, or looking to make a major life change, you’ll find inspiration and get practical advice on your journey. Topics include mindfulness, parenting, depression, dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), eldercare, family, emotions, happiness, stress management, and more.
https://rebekahshackney.com
Produced by David DibS Shackney.
Marketing Strategy by Jessica Hulett
Photo by Alex Joyce.
26 Episodes
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In this episode, we practice the DBT Mindfulness Skill Observe. It’s one of the three What Skills David and I discussed a few weeks ago. As a reminder, Observe is noticing without pushing away or clinging to anything. We observe our external environment through our 5 senses: sight, smell, sound, taste and touch. We observe our internal world by noticing thoughts, emotions and sensations in the body. We will practice observing by observing thoughts. So why do this? In my experience the majority of our suffering occurs when we make interpretations. When we add to reality. And often when you struggle with anxiety and depression those interpretations are negative. I’m an idiot rather than I made a mistake. observing thoughts lets us notice our thoughts and let them go instead of mindlessly grasping onto them. Just because a thought pops into our head does not mean it’s true and yet we so often believe our thoughts and it leads to increased suffering. This skill allows us to to simply notice our thoughts and let them go.Thanks so much for your support of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. 
With stress levels through the roof,  we could all benefit from a little mindfulness. This season of  A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice is all about making mindfulness understandable and accessible to everyone.In this episode, David and I are talking about the DBT How Skills. These skills outline how to practice mindfulness. The How Skills are Nonjudgmentally, One-mindfully and Effectively.Nonjudgmentally is noticing without adding opinions, interpretations or evaluations. The goal is to see reality as it is. One-mindfully means being in the moment and doing one thing at a time. It’s the opposite of multi-tasking which divides attention, and only gives you the illusion of being more productive. Effectively means cting as skillfully as possible to achieve the goal at hand. Focus on the situation at hand, not the situation you wish you were in or what is fair or unfair.Thanks so much for your support of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
With stress levels through the roof, we could all benefit from mindfulness. This season of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice is all about making mindfulness understandable and accessible to everyone.In today's episode, David and I are talking about the DBT What Skills. These skills outline what to do to become more mindful. They are Observe, Describe and Participate. Observe is noticing without pushing away or clinging to anything. We observe our external environment through our 5 senses: sight, smell, sound, taste and touch. We observe our internal world by noticing thoughts, emotions and sensations in the body. Describing is simply adding words to what we observe. If we can't observe it we can't describe it. We describe without criticism or adding to reality. We can't observe the thoughts, feelings, interpretations or motivations of other people so we can't describe them. Participating is entering into an activity wholeheartedly without self-consciousness. When we participate we are one with what we are doing. If observing and describing are the rehearsal, participating is the performance. Thanks so much for your support of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Mindfulness is a word that you hear thrown around a lot these days, but is often misunderstood. It does everything from decrease depression to improve relationships to making pain more manageable… but how? This season of ATTHO, going is all about demystifying mindfulness, what is it? How is it helpful? And how exactly do you use it in your daily life? I’ll break it down into manageable steps and I’ll interview people with interesting perspectives on mindfulness. Hopefully along the way we can all become more mindful.  I spend my days teaching my clients mindfulness skills, and trying to stay mindful myself but mindfulness is an ever- evolving practice and like everyone else, I’m trying to do better. This is ATTHA.  In today’s episode David and I discuss how mindfulness is defined from a DBT perspective.
In this week’s episode, I’m speaking with Lauren Selfridge, therapist, creative vision consultant and host of the podcast This is not what I ordered. She talks about everything from how Conan O’Brien and a rowing machine figure into her self-care routine to the silver lining of living with multiple sclerosis. Her version of full-hearted living means meeting herself where she is in each moment, allowing whatever feelings arise and encouraging others to do the same.In addition to being a couple's psychotherapist, Lauren is a Creative Vision Consultant, podcast host, portrait photographer, living-room-dance-partier, watercolor artist, and a big fan laughing so hard that she winds up on the floor.After an MS diagnosis in 2015, she experienced a shift in her priorities and her definition of fulfillment. As a result, she's way more focused on joy and connection, and she's passionate about helping other people live their most fulfilled lives now.INFO AND LINKS:Receive a free copy of Lauren's Creative Joy Workbook at redreamyourlife.comListen to the This Is Not What I Ordered podcast at thisisnotwhatiordered.com
As we move into month 7 of the pandemic, with school starting, stress levels continue to rise, tempers are flaring and everyone seems to be at the end of their rope. We could all use some loving kindness. This powerful mindfulness is the perfect antidote for the anxiety and tension so prevalent in society, as it allows us to tap into our capacity for love, gratitude and compassion toward ourselves and others. Thanks so much for your support of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Money is a taboo word that can bring up so many uncomfortable feelings. And this discomfort effects our relationships, our livelihoods and our futures. My guest, Jelisha Gatling, is a couples therapist and money mindset coach. She tackled her own maladaptive believes about money and turned her finances and her life around with the help of money mindset guru, Tiffany McLain, Jen Sincero's book, You Are a Badass at Making Money and Linzy Bonham's Money Nuts and Bolts. Now she teaches others to do the same. Jelisha Gatling is a couples therapist who has branched into providing money mindset coaching to therapists helping them work through their money blocks and rewrite the stories that are keeping them on the brink of burnout and broke.  She thrives off of helping therapists to see a reality where they can help others while also thriving financially.  She is working on her first book, “The Closet Wreck Therapist: Saving the Saver”, a humorous recounting of her journey transforming from “broke to woke” while giving a step-by-step guide to abundance for therapists who struggle to practice what they preach.If you'd like to work with Jelisha Gatling contact her at the links below: Website for Therapy Clients: letsunpacktherapy.comWebsite for Therapists: savingthesaver.comThanks so much for your support of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. 
This episode features, Jessica Hulett. She and thousands like her are called COVID long-haulers. They continue to have debilitating symptoms months after initially contracting the virus. Doctors don’t yet have many answers leaving these patients in search of relief and support.    Jessica Hulett is a freelance writer, editor, and marketing strategist in Ossining, NY. She moved to Westchester after more than 15 years in Manhattan and Brooklyn, where she worked for a lot of dot-coms that no longer exist. She lives with her husband Evan, 6-year-old son Colter, and two cats named Jack Black and Leslie Knope who hate each other. My hobbies include starting novels and not finishing them, hiking, and figuring out how to make healthy food taste good. Thanks so much for your support of A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Right now, so many people are chronically stressed and this takes a huge toll on mental as well as physical health. As a result, the term self-care gets thrown around a lot. In this bonus episode, my producer/husband David Shackney and I demystify selfcare. We discuss what it is, why it’s important and how to practice it.  Self-care is anything that we do to preserve health, well-being and increase happiness  Self-care looks different for each individual. Some people practice it by gardening, journaling and socializing with friends, while others prefer yoga, therapy and alone time. No matter what you do, during these very stressful times, selfcare is a necessity.  ·      Physical self-care includes things like eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep, attending to medical issues, getting regular massage ·      Emotional self-care includes things like a seeing a therapist, journaling, attending to the breath, connecting with friends and family, taking time for yourself, expressing creativity ·       Spiritual self-care includes things like meditation, prayer, connecting with nature, practicing gratitude, offering compassion for self and others.It’s important to choose activities you enjoy. If you hate the gym choose another way to exercise.  Let me know how you practice selfcare. Send my a message on my A Therapist Takes Her own Advice Facebook page. 
In this episode, Nicole Poole, shares her history of trauma and her journey to health and healing. She talks about how CPT Therapy, EMDR and meditation have allowed her to stop the negative tape playing in her mind and regain her sense of self. Now, during the pandemic she has found a way to spread joy throughout her community and beyond by chalking the sidewalks in her neighborhood. Find her creations at Wordsmiff405. Don't  miss her in a livestream reading of The Odyssey on Saturday, August 29th at 7:30. And here's the link to the This American Life episode that inspired Nicole to seek CPT therapy. Nicole Poole is a native Oklahoman, recently repatriated after 20+ years in NYC and a few in Paris. In addition to specializing in multidisciplinary collaborative performance and live composition, she is an award-winning audiobook narrator, collection curator, entrepreneur and advocate for Oklahoma’s artists.Nicole has performed stateside and internationally, in both self-produced projects and with companies ranging from the New York International Fringe Festival to England’s Royal Shakespeare Company.  She is a core member of the Walter Thompson Orchestra and founding member of Kollecti’F, an international poetic cabaret launched in Geneva, Switzerland in February, 2020. She has narrated more than 200 audiobooks, and her work has been recognized by Publisher’s Weekly, AudioFile Magazine, the Independent Audiobook Awards and by the Audio Publisher Association’s Audie Awards. Nicole is the owner and curator of the O. Gail Poole Collection, a significant catalogue of works of visual art by her late father. She has produced exhibits of his work in Oklahoma, Paris and Tuscany; most recently, “O. Gail Poole’s Sideshow,” a landmark exhibit of more than 60 of Poole’s bizarre works of human folly, was granted a solo exhibition at the Fred Jones, Jr. Museum of Art. As the North American Liaison for Art Ludique le Musée, a Parisian museum dedicated to the art of entertainment, Nicole is the bridge between the museum and film/comic contacts including SDCC, Pixar, Blue Sky and the late, great, Stan Lee.  Nicole is a graduate of the University of Oklahoma School of Drama; she is also a certified Creative Catalyst and member of the founding cohort of an intensive program in artistic leadership and entrepreneurship through the University of North Carolina School of the Arts. Finally, Nicole’s values of compassion and service, combined with her penchant for collaboration and delightful disruption, manifest in pop-up creative hijinks around the world.Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
In this episode, I speak with Jessica Irons, founder and Artistic Director of Theater O, an independent theater school for kids in Ossining New York. She discusses the struggles of finding her purpose and then serving that purpose during a pandemic. She gives us the perspective of an artist and educator with the daunting task of trying to keep kids connected to their creative spirit while remaining safe. Jessica, an Ossining resident, and sits on the boards of the Ossining Arts Project (The Village Art Committee) and Bethany Arts Community.  She sat on the Board of Ossining MATTERS for 6 years and was president for 2. For 10 years she was the Artistic Director of the award-winning , NYC based Andhow ! Theater Company where she fostered new plays from a seed of an idea through to full productions. She directed Off & Off Off-Broadway at the Flea, The Ohio, HERE Arts Center, 78th Street Theater Lab, The Connelly Theater, Dixon Place, The Blue Heron Arts Center, The Ontological at St. Mark's Church in the Bowery  New Georges and adobe theatre company. She was the Associate Artistic Director of adobe theatre company and the Artistic Associate at Adirondack Theater Festival. As an educator she has directed/taught in Newark NJ, Redhook, Brooklyn, for the 52nd Street Project in Manhattan, Allan Stevenson, Fordham University, the Boys & Girls Club of Northern Westchester and elsewhere throughout the tri-state area. She was the original therapeutic arts director at Children of Promise, NYC in Bedford Stuyvesant, where she developed and implemented therapeutic art & theater curricula for children of incarcerated parents.  Jessica studied theater at Skidmore College (BA) and Creative Arts Therapy at the New School.Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Stress is pervasive in life today particularly as many people are preparing to head back to school amid the continuing corona crisis. This bonus episode offers a guided meditation called Paired Muscle Relaxation, a DBT Skill that can dramatically reduce stress with regular practice. Make yourself comfortable and get ready to relax. Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
On this episode, Superintendent Sanchez, talks about the ups and downs on  the road to reopening schools this year. We get to know him better as he discussing his family and his journey from teacher to administrator. He even talks about his own self-care habits and offers suggestions for parents and student to manage during these stressful times. Raymond Sanchez serves as the superintendent for the Ossining Union Free School District. As an administrator in the Ossining School District, he demonstrates a commitment to serve all the students of the district on a daily basis.Along with the Board of Education, faculty, staff, and the Ossining community at large, Sanchez focuses on “raising the bar” and enhancing success for all students.Sanchez served as the past president of the Lower Hudson Council of School Personnel Administrators, the former president of the Putnam/Northern Westchester BOCES Curriculum Council, and as a past liaison for the New York State Association of Bilingual Educators. Sanchez has presented at various state and national conferences. He is on the advisory board of the Future School Leadership Academy (FSLA), the Teaching American History program, and Teatown Nature Preservation. He also shares his expertise as an adjunct professor at Mercy College, Manhattanville College, and Bank Street College of Education.Sanchez is also a past recipient of the Raymond Delaney Award from the New York State Association of School Superintendents.Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
On this episode, Elizabeth Cush and I talk about the prevalence of anxiety in our culture especially now in this tumultuous climate. We discuss why trauma is triggered in times of stress, and she offers tips on how to manage it. Elizabeth Cush is a licensed clinical professional counselor, business owner and blogger in Annapolis, MD where she hosts Woman Worriers, a podcast for anxious women. In her private practice, Progression Counseling, she helps men and women who feel overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out find more connection with themselves and others, allowing them to live their lives with more ease, intention, and purpose. She’s worked in the mental health field for over 10 years and is a certified clinical trauma professional. Elizabeth incorporates mindfulness and meditation into her psychotherapy work with individuals and groups. Elizabeth was a featured guest on these podcasts: Sacred Psychology, Women In Depth, The Practice Of Being Seen , and Selling The Couch. She’s also an expert contributor for Good Therapy, a guest contributor to the Happily Imperfect Blog on Psych Central and has been quoted in articles for The List, Teen Vogue, Tonic, Best Life, Bustle Thriveworks, UpJourney and The Paper Gown. Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
SKILLS - The Stop Skill

SKILLS - The Stop Skill

2020-07-3104:531

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapist is constantly filling a client's toolbox with strategies and skills to help them cope with daily challenges, anxieties and emotional conundrums. This series of bonus episodes will explore some of those skills and how to apply them to every day life.In todays episode, I discuss the STOP Skill and how it can be applied to worry thoughts or ruminations. When practiced regularly, this skill can STOP worry thoughts in their tracks. Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice bonus skills episode. Remember that the information shared here is not a replacement for treatment with a licensed professional. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
On this episode engagement guru, Ash Fox, offers her unique perspective on getting engaged, she offers tips for creating the perfect proposal and discusses her own experience of Zoom dating in quarantine. David and I even tell our own engagement story. Ash Fox is a marriage Proposal planner, advisor and photographer based in NYC. She has orchestrated and photographed over 1700 engagements for couples from all over the world. She has been featured in The Knot, The New York Times,  Business Insider, The Daily News, and The Huffington Post among others. Ash is also the host of the Proposal Podcast. Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashfoxproposals/Website:https://www.ashfoxphotography.comThe Proposal Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-proposal-podcast/id1439357836Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. If you connected with what you heard here, and you want to work with me, go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.
In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a therapist is constantly filling a client's toolbox with strategies and skills to help them cope with daily challenges, anxieties and emotional conundrums. This series of bonus episodes will explore some of those skills and how to apply them to every day life.What can you do to get through a crisis without making the problem worse? I suggest to clients that they create a crisis survival kit, which is collection of items to have on hand to use when you’re in a crisis. The idea is to use the items in the kit to relieve the emotional stress enough so you can make the next right choice…rather than do something impulsive that would make the situation worse. Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. Remember that the information shared here is not a replacement for treatment with a licensed professional. If you need support please reach out. Call your doctor, your insurance company or contact me. Go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send me aa message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. 
One of our missions in creating this podcast is to reduce the stigma of mental illness. On todays episode, I speak with David Wilson-Burns, a friend of mine who was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder in his 30s. He speaks openly about the ups and downs of his mental health journey in the hopes that other's will find comfort and support from his experiences.  David Wilson-Burns is a writer, software engineer, and musician living in Norman, Oklahoma, a college town in the Oklahoma City Metropolitan area. He has a degree in Vocal Music Education from the University of Oklahoma and has published works of fiction, personal essays, and poetry. He writes a blog called My Wife Says I’m Complicated about topics ranging from computer programming, spirituality, personal life, mental illness, fiction, travel, and a satirical small-town newspaper named The Puddlegulch Post; although, most have been set to private while he undergoes treatment for blogaholism at the Over-Sharer’s Recovery Center in Frankenmuth, Michigan.Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. Remember that the information shared here is not a replacement for treatment with a licensed professional. If you need support please reach out. Call your doctor, your insurance company or contact me. Go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send me aa message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. 
In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), a therapist is constantly filling a client's toolbox with strategies and skills to help them cope with daily challenges, anxieties and emotional conundrums. This series of bonus episodes will explore some of those skills and how to apply them to every day life.In this episode, I discuss the power of eating mindfully, ways of incorporating this simple skill into your daily routine, and how mindful eating can change your relationship with food.Thanks so much for joining me today for A Therapist Takes Her Own Advice. Remember that the information shared here is not a replacement for treatment with a licensed professional. If you need support please reach out. Call your doctor, your insurance company or contact me. Go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send me aa message through my contact page. And if you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. 
On todays show, I talk to Grace Choi about the complicated, comforting, connecting roles food plays in our lives. She offers insights from a wide range of perspectives from her experience as a child of immigrants to her years as a food studies student and teacher to her recent role as mother of two. It was such a pleasure to see food and life through her eyes. Grace Choi is the founder of Cookable, a technology company that reimagines the way people cook at home, and the host of its podcast The Psyche Eats. She holds her PhD in food studies from NYU and is an adjunct professor of food and psychology at The New School.   If you have enjoyed what you’ve heard here, please subscribe, rate and review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen. If you have questions, comments or suggestions for future episodes go to my website, rebekahshackney.com and send a message through my contact page
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