We've Chosen Here

‘We will all experience loss in our lives and in these last few months that is what has united us: everyone has lost something…I could not foresee how much loss we would experience as a country, as a world, in such a short amount of time when I thought up this project.’ As we come to the end of the first We’ve Chosen Here series of podcasts, lead artist-Lizzy Fretwell, reflects on the process of releasing this series of podcasts in the midst of the Covid-19 lockdown and the Black Lives Matter protests. She talks openly about the grapple with the ethics of releasing these podcasts during this time and the events for the participants that poignantly coincided with their podcast release. She also talks about the next stage of the project, opening up We’ve Chosen Here as a platform for anyone to send in their story of a place that sparks positive memories of a lost loved one. If you would like to send in a podcast, please email: wevechosenhere@gmail.com. Thank you to everyone for listening and showing their support throughout this project.

‘It decorates the garden with colours, fragrance and fruit. Planted in his name, a Sadaqah Jariyah that benefits my son from beyond the grave’ Our final podcast is brought to us by Hasna Weaver, a beautiful piece called ‘This Tree’ dedicated to her son, Nafis, who died suddenly at just 21 years old from sudden arrhythmic death syndrome (SADS). Hasna explains in her introduction to the poem that Nafis was an extremely generous individual and that trees played an important role in their relationship as he was growing up. The family planted trees in Nafis’ name in Palestine, in their garden and hope to plant a tree at his grave. This is part of the Muslim practice of Sadaqah Jariyah, a charity that will benefit those who have passed and continue their legacy by benefiting others.

‘However, the colour is still present in my memories of the walks around the lake with my Mum, and the pleasure she found in it.’ Our penultimate podcast is brought to us today by Malcolm Fretwell, with ‘A Walk in the Park’. This tribute to his Step-Mum, Coral Fretwell, describes one of the many trips they took together to Wardown Park after Coral moved to Luton in her final years. The piece explores the poignancy that develops in simple routines like this, when our loved one is no longer there to do them with us, but how these places can still hold memories and take us back to those special times.

‘He had a chair, Grandad’s chair at my Nan’s house, and I remember going to visit my Nan afterwards and you know we’re allowed to sit on it now, we were never allowed to sit on it when he was alive.’ Today’s podcast is a bit different. It is brought to us by Cerys Wrigley, who attended our first workshop where we created ‘Journeys of Grief’. Cerys is an accomplished young writer and activist from Luton and it’s a real honour to have her voice as part of the project. In her ‘Tribute to My Grandfather’, based on her Grandad-David Perkins, Cerys explores the grief journey her and the family went on: from learning about her Grandfather’s life-threatening illness to life moving forward with a noticeable longing to have her Grandfather there to see what she’s doing now. (Cerys kindly agreed to the release of this recording from our first workshop, unfortunately it was recorded on a phone as we didn’t have the official recording equipment at that stage so apologies for the less than perfect sound quality. However, we felt the content was so beautiful we couldn’t hold it back solely for this reason.)

‘My beautiful Mum, always wanted the best for everyone, and I am so grateful that she was my Mum.’ Sian Fretwell brings us ‘Beautiful Memories of My Mother’ for today’s podcast. This detailed tribute to her Mother is centred on Stockwood Park, a place that holds many happy memories, particularly of the gardens which were a shared interest. Sian speaks of how the gardens themselves are representative of different historical times and how each one sparks personal memories for her.

‘For now I’ll travel on, leaving this podcast to show that life is as much about gain as it is about loss.’ It’s Sunday, a day of rest, so why not take five minutes to listen to this tear-jerking piece by Martin Elliston for his wife Janet. Martin considers not only the impact Janet had on him, their family, friends and church community, but also the key reflections on loss and life he had whilst creating this tribute to her. The beautiful music accompanying this tribute is ‘There’s A Time for Tears’ by Sam Hargreaves (resoundworship.org).

‘”Why do you want to do a project about death?” a question I’m sometimes asked. “To help others see the light,” I say, “when all they know has gone dark.”’ Today’s podcast is from lead artist, Lizzy Fretwell. A poem called ‘Two Logs’, a tribute to Lizzy’s Grandma, Janet Elliston. It is actually the first of three tributes to Janet in this podcast series. Lizzy reflects on childhood memories of days out with her Grandma and her aim to support others in finding hope, even in experiences of loss, through this project.

‘This memory of her, because that’s all I have now-memories of her, is so vivid, so strong. Her in this place, this place that is so important to me’ ‘A Tribute to My Grandmother’ by Laura Lloyd is today’s podcast. Laura is a dancer, choreographer and Co-Artistic Director of Next Generation Youth Theatre based in Luton. This podcast recounts her experience of making a show with her Grandmother, Patricia (Pat) Miles and the young people in her dance company. The performance took place at the Hat Factory Arts Centre (Luton), which became a significant place for both Laura and Pat. The piece shows how one individual can impart knowledge and inspiration that has a long-lasting legacy.

‘I dedicate this poem to you and I hope that somehow my love can find its way to you’ Gabby Heard brings us a beautiful tribute, ‘A Poem for My Nan’ today. Gabby linked up with the project through Twitter and has been committed from start to finish. This poem is based on one of the last days out as a family they had with her Nan, Sylvia Heard. It explores the importance of telling those you love how much you appreciate them in their time on Earth and the hope that they can still know this when they are no longer with us.

‘Some people genuinely do care, if you give them a chance and let them in, but more importantly you give yourself that chance.’ Today’s podcast is ‘My Reality is Your Fantasy’ by Ciaran Doherty. In this tribute, Ciaran offers his insights on how our perspectives are influenced by both the experiences in our reality and the stories we relate to in fantasy He relates these thoughts particularly to the loss of his Uncle, John Henry, who was killed whilst on duty as a police officer. John particularly understood Ciaran’s autism and his unique perspective on the world. The cinema was a special place for them both.

‘We had found devotion we had forgotten was there for us’ Our podcast today is ‘From A Distance’ by Alexis Keir. Alexis came to the project with a story he had written as part of the Spread The Word ‘London Writers Awards’ programme. The piece is a tribute to his mother, Lenore, and describes a touching meal he had with his mothers’ friends when he, his Father and his son were invited to join their Sunday Lunch in Luton shortly after his Mother had passed away. It explores the importance of community, not just in a time of loss, but as an opportunity to listen and learn from the stories of the elders.

An introduction to the We've Chosen Here podcasts. These podcasts will be released once a day from 7th June 2020. Writer and Speaker: Lizzy Fretwell Edited by: Justin Taylor