AgilEmpath

DARVO stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It's a defense mechanism used by individuals, often in response to being confronted with their wrongdoing. This strategy involves denying the accusations, attacking the accuser, and reversing the roles, portraying the offender as the victim.A 2017 study that when victims are DARVOed, it is more likely they’ll blame themselves, which in turn, “leads to self-silencing.”Here are examples of each stage:Deny:Example: A congregant is accused of spreading false rumors about another member. Instead of acknowledging the behavior, they adamantly deny any involvement, insisting they would never engage in such actions.Attack:Example: When confronted about financial mismanagement, a person responds by attacking the accuser's credibility or character. They might say, "You're always looking for faults in others, and you have no idea how hard it is to manage finances!"Reverse Victim and Offender:Example: A congregant is confronted about consistently being late for volunteer commitments. Instead of taking responsibility, they reverse the roles, stating, "I'm always there for everyone, and now you're making me the bad guy for being a few minutes late? I'm the victim here."Recognizing these patterns can help navigate conversations with empathy and understanding, fostering a more constructive dialogue for resolution and personal growth.Proverbs 15:1 (NLT): "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare." This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Self-awareness includes identifying our personality, those aspects that may not be the norm, and working on them. What is important is to learn, grow and develop areas. The way we are perceived is a great place to begin. It is difficult to hear a consistent perception of ourselves, when we cannot see our blind spots. This leads us to recognize how our behaviors affect others, giving us motivation for change. Understanding other’s emotions and how our words impact them, is a part of emotional intelligence. Self-awareness helps us manage our behaviors with others. The way leaders manage and recognize their quirks, & weaknesses contributes to their overall effectiveness This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

This is a skills building curriculum that will improve connection with ourselves & others to help manage conflict. We are emotional, intuitive beings when we tune in. Let's not fear the intensity of emotions, learning to regulate them. In this course you will learn to navigate challenging situations, successfully solving problems, and resolving conflict with others. Specifically we will focus on the following techniques:* Keep focus on what is being said verbally & non-verbally. When there is incongruence in the two, look to the non-verbal communication for keys to what the person is really saying. * Let it go if you cannot control it, doing what you can with what is within your control. * Listen for the other person's perspective & feelings, validating them even if you do not understand what they are experiencing. * Avoid giving advice, instead asking open ended questions. * Ask for clarification when something offends you, listening for insight.* Enhancing Active Listening Skills with Artificial IntelligenceWe introduce a proactive training tool  as a resource to begin utilizing with your teams, The Appreciative Inquiry. This will build skills and train your people to utilize healthy communication strategies in crisis, to solve problems and move through conflict successfully. Rise to become an expert communicator that people naturally want to follow and learn from. This is your blueprint for success with communication.*Lectures are Slide Deck presentations with voiceover lecture*PURCHASE THE COURSEWORK AND WORKBOOK IN PAPERBACK. LISTENING TO HEAR MAKES A GREAT GIFT FOR GRADUATING SENIORS, AND IS USEFUL FOR GROUP SKILLS BUILDING SESSIONS FOR THERAPISTS AND COACHES.Life Skills for Leadership is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Start by grounding your guidance in the unchanging truths of Scripture. Emphasize passages like 1 Peter 1:15-16, where believers are called to be holy as God is holy. Provide a biblical basis for the significance of holy living and debunk the notion that one can live without regard to God's standards.1 Peter 1:15-16 in the New Living Translation (NLT) reads:"But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, 'You must be holy because I am holy.'" This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Galatians 5:19-21 from the New Living Translation highlights the consequences of following one's sinful nature. It points out various behaviors and attitudes that are contrary to living a life reflective of the Kingdom of God. This passage emphasizes the need for a shift in culture, advocating for a life guided by virtues and alignment with the values of the Kingdom of God.19 When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, 21 envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God.In the heart of every thriving congregation lies a culture of love, understanding, and harmony. Drawing inspiration from Biblical teachings on love, we embark on a journey to explore practical steps that can shift the dynamics within a congregation, fostering an atmosphere of unity and compassion. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

While the term "narcissist" may not be explicitly mentioned in the Bible, certain verses in the New Living Translation address behaviors associated with narcissism. Proverbs 27:2 encourages humility, stating, "Let someone else praise you, not your own mouth—a stranger, not your own lips." Philippians 2:3 advises, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves." Additionally, Proverbs 16:18 warns against pride, saying, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

In the realm of psychology, the study of narcissism has long intrigued researchers seeking to unravel the intricacies of this complex personality trait. Stathis Grapsas, Eddie Brummelman, Mitja D. Back, and Jaap J. A. Denissen delve into the depths of narcissism, proposing a self-regulation model that sheds light on the underlying processes driving individuals with high levels of grandiose narcissism to pursue social status.The Self-Regulation Model:The proposed model paints a comprehensive picture of how narcissists navigate their interactions with the world, focusing on the pursuit of social status in a dynamic, moment-to-moment manner. At its core, the model suggests that narcissists actively choose situations that offer opportunities for status elevation. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

In a world where words carry immense power, the ancient wisdom found in the Book of Proverbs serves as a timeless guide for navigating the intricacies of communication and community. As leaders, pastors have a unique responsibility to cultivate a healthy and supportive environment, steering clear of the pitfalls of gossip.Here's a practical guide to incorporating Proverbs into daily leadership to foster a gossip-free community.Proactive leadership within pastoral roles involves a deliberate effort to address gossip by integrating a daily Proverb into their routine. By doing so, pastors can set the tone for the congregation, emphasizing the transformative power of ancient wisdom in shaping conversations and decisions. Leading by example becomes paramount, illustrating to the community how the insights gleaned from Proverbs can be practically applied to foster positive communication. Proactively engaging with these timeless principles enables pastors to not only preach about the avoidance of gossip but also to embody the teachings, creating a foundation for a community guided by the principles of respect, integrity, and thoughtful dialogue. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

The essence of Nehemiah 8:10, declaring, "Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength," underscores the foundational truth that divine joy is a source of unwavering strength. It emphasizes a joy rooted in the unchanging nature of God, transcending the ebb and flow of life's circumstances. This joy depends solely on Jesus and serves as an anchor for pastors navigating the challenges of their calling.In the realm of faith and service, it becomes evident that mental health is integral to overall well-being. Just as pastors are diligent in caring for the physical bodies entrusted to them, there lies a parallel responsibility in nurturing their minds. Happiness, viewed through the prism of science and personal journey, emerges as a key element in this mental health equation.Learn more about Proactive Mental Health Today! This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Bringing Light to a World in Need of JesusIn a world hungering for hope and purpose, we turn to the timeless words of Scripture:"Jesus told him, 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me'" (John 14:6, NLT).In this era of uncertainty and searching, the message remains clear – Jesus is the beacon of light and the path to eternal life.Purpose of This Guided ApproachAs believers, we understand the profound impact of sharing the Gospel, yet the manner in which we convey this message holds great significance. This guide is not just a tutorial; it's a blueprint for Christians to engage in Bible studies and discussions, allowing them to be trained and fortified. The aim is to equip believers with the tools to share the gospel without combativeness but through genuine connection and understanding, building bridges that resonate with the essence of Jesus' teachings.“Loneliness does not come from having no people around, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible.” Carl JungIn a world often marked by loneliness and a yearning for connection, the ability to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ becomes a powerful tool for fostering understanding and bridging diverse perspectives. This tutorial explores the art of sharing the Gospel through authentic listening, emphasizing the importance of making others feel heard, understood, and respected. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Gratitude is a timeless virtue that holds a significant place in the Christian faith, aligning both with scientific findings and biblical teachings. According to research.com's exploration of the scientific benefits of gratitude, expressing thanks has been linked to improved mental well-being, enhanced relationships, and overall life satisfaction.There are many benefits when we practice gratitude, as noted in Research.com article, 35 Scientific Benefits of Gratitude: Mental Health Research Findings, by Imed Bouchrika Co-Founder and Chief Data Scientist. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Engaging in nature therapy promotes happiness by providing a respite from the demands of modern life. Connecting with the outdoors has been shown to reduce stress, boost mood, and enhance overall mental well-being. The calming influence of nature fosters a sense of tranquility, contributing to a more balanced and fulfilling life.Experiencing awe in nature has a powerful effect on emotional well-being This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Unlocking Happiness Steps to a Fulfilled LifeTravel SoloEmbarking on a solo journey can be a powerful catalyst for increasing happiness and fostering personal growth. Solo travel is more than just exploring new destinations; it's a transformative experience that allows you to discover not only new places but also aspects of yourself that may have been dormant. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

In the fast-paced whirlwind of life, taking a moment to pause, reflect, and envision our future can be a powerful tool for cultivating happiness. One such method that encapsulates this sentiment is writing a heartfelt letter to your future self. This practice not only serves as a time capsule of aspirations but also unfolds as a source of joy and fulfillment when revisited years later.For help with loss of hope: https://988lifeline.org/ This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Optimism can be learned. Utilizing the Ellis ABC Model, we can learn how to respond differently to adversity by talking ourselves through defeat.Adversityo   The event that happenso   Example: “I have a flat tire.”Beliefo   How the adversity is interpretedo   Example: My response is, “I always have bad luck, why does this happen to me?”Consequenceso   Feelingso   Actionso   Example: “You feel hopeless, angry, grouchy, yelling at your spouse in the car.”The ABC method is how we redirect the pessimistic attitudes we all have. How can we be proactive daily to build muscles of optimism, so it is more natural for us to respond positively in thought & action to diverse events? This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Writing a letter to your future self is not just a sentimental exercise; it's a pathway to happiness. It combines the joy of manifesting dreams, the fulfillment of reflecting on personal growth, the connection with your evolving self, and the cultivation of gratitude. Embrace this simple yet profound practice as a gift to your present and future well-being.For help with hopelessness: https://988lifeline.org/ This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

The act of challenging fears creates lasting memories that are often associated with personal growth and triumph. Reflecting on these experiences can evoke a sense of pride and happiness, serving as a reminder of one's strength and resilience during times of adversity. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Unhappiness is an inevitable facet of life, but it doesn't have to diminish your faith in God's goodness. By understanding the nature of unhappiness, recognizing the role of faith in difficult times, and implementing practical tips, you can keep your faith strong even when life's challenges seem insurmountable. In the grand tapestry of life, unhappiness may be a thread, but faith in God's goodness is the sturdy fabric that holds it all together. Embrace your faith, and let it guide you through the storms, knowing that God's plan is ultimately one of love and purpose.The study conducted by Sheena Sethi and Martin E.P. Seligman, Optimism and Fundamentalism, sheds light on the fascinating relationship between optimism and fundamentalism among various religious groups. The findings reveal a compelling connection, with fundamentalist individuals displaying significantly higher levels of optimism compared to their moderate and liberal counterparts. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Discovering happiness is an achievable feat, and one effective way to elevate your joy is through creative expression. Engaging in activities like painting, playing a musical instrument, or experimenting with poetry can be a practical path to happiness. The process of creating something new taps into the power of creativity, offering a therapeutic and uplifting experience.Subscribe to my newsletter for content to be sent direct to your mailbox. Check out the archive section to review the library of podcasts, articles and videos of professional development content. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe

Unhappiness is a universal human experience, and it can manifest in various forms – from mild discontent to profound sorrow. It often arises due to unmet expectations, personal struggles, losses, or simply the inherent complexities of life. To keep your faith strong in times of unhappiness, it's crucial to understand this emotion and how it impacts your spiritual journey. The nature of unhappiness is a natural part of life and the potential for growth. This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit alexia.substack.com/subscribe