DiscoverFinding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse
Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse
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Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse

Author: Hecate

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An intersectional healing podcast for survivors of sexual assault and any/all abuse. When survivors share, they share strength. "Finding OK" helps people navigate this difficult healing process. The focus is on recovery, self-care, empowerment, and healing. You are not alone.
52 Episodes
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NJ Lechnir joins me to discuss his book, "Addiction, Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle".  NJ shares the difficulties of growing up with an alcoholic father, his struggles with anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and how he has transformed former areas of insecurity into strengths that he shares with others.  NJ is the author of two self-published books titled, Addiction Loss and Recovery: How to Deeply Understand the Mindset of Addictive Behavior and Win the Battle and, Leapfrogging Success: 5 Simple Steps to Powerful Presentations and Public Speaking for Nerds, Techies and Introverts. Having struggled with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts all his life, and always struggling with intense anxiety of public speaking, he decided to break out of his shell and change all of that. In his books, NJ goes deep into his past and describes events that shape who he is today. Working as a successful Learning and Development professional, he is also founder of a revolutionary platform called The LEAPS Method, a 5 step framework that he developed and teaches in learning courses, workshops, books, articles, videos, and personalized coaching to help anxious analytical introverts like himself become powerful speakers and presenters. NJ loves reading, running, and photography. He is a loving husband and father of six children.Episode Notes:Websitehttps://leapfroggingsuccess.com/Bookshttps://leapfroggingsuccess.com/download-resources/https://www.amazon.com/Leapfrogging-Success-Powerful-Presentations-Introverts-ebook/dp/B071FL81DCMediumhttps://medium.com/@njlechnirSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Thank You! - Season 3

Thank You! - Season 3

2021-05-2626:07

Welcome to Season 3! In today's episode I thank everyone who has made Finding OK possible, I share what I got up to on my break, and let you know about some changes with the podcast moving forward. I'm back!Ramshackle Gloryhttps://ramshackleglory.bandcamp.com/Talk Shit With P - guest episodeshttps://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBExhttps://open.spotify.com/episode/6RkdAR4VdWydlhdSU5yBExBishPuddin666 on Twitchhttps://www.twitch.tv/bishpuddin666Sway_ASMR on Twitchhttps://www.twitch.tv/sway_asmrPlay FM - Best Sexual Assault Podcasts of 2021https://player.fm/podcasts/Sexual-AssaultNCChttps://www.notcoolclub.co.uk/https://www.facebook.com/notcoolucl/The Every Voice Coalitionhttps://www.everyvoicecoalition.org/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Travel Can Heal

Travel Can Heal

2021-03-3101:03:46

Jackie Roby shares her healing journey and the work she does in the world with healing and wellness travel. Jackie and I discuss the importance of asking for help, showing up authentically in personal and professional spaces, secret keeping and communication in families, healing from childhood sexual abuse, diversity, and anti-racism work. She shares how healing and wellness travel has transformed her life and helped her heal and release shame.Jackie is a speaker, podcaster, writer, solution strategist, social media amplifier, yoga lover, travel addict, fierce foodie, empath to the core, wife, mother, and the CEO of Inspired Journey Consulting.  Jackie's Websitehttps://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/Jackie's Blog - Through Inspired Eyeshttps://inspiredjourneyconsulting.com/blog/Jackie's Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/through-inspired-eyes-travel-can-heal/id1544605633Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/inspiredjourneyconsulting/?hl=enBooks recommended by Jackiehttps://bookshop.org/books/excuse-me-your-life-is-waiting-the-astonishing-power-of-feelings/9781571747358https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/129603.You_Can_Heal_Your_Lifehttps://bookshop.org/books/big-magic-creative-living-beyond-fear/9781594634727Jackie and I both love this meditation app!https://insighttimer.com/meditation-apphttps://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.spotlightsix.zentimerlite2&hl=en_US&gl=USMarco Polo Apphttps://www.marcopolo.me/https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=co.happybits.marcopoloSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Inspired By U

Inspired By U

2021-03-2401:24:10

Santéresa shares her story of trauma and healing, her experience reporting rape and going through the justice system, and she discusses her beautiful book, "Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process". She talks about her work at the Rape Crisis Center and how she created Inspired By U to help people become their full and whole selves. She also shares the importance of faith in her life and her healing journey.  Santéresa Wilson is the CEO of Inspired By U, LLC, she is an inspirational speaker, author, Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, she has served as a Certified Mentor Volunteer with Prison Fellowship and a Sexual Assault Response Team Volunteer Advocate for her local Rape Crisis Center. She holds her degree in Divinity from Christian Leaders College.Websitehttps://santeresaw.com/"Releasing My Secret: A 30 Day Devotional to Support Your Healing Process"https://www.amazon.com/Santeresa-Wilson/e/B07ZZGL8BPTake Back The Night Speech (TW)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YfCK0fW9As4Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Eliot returns to the show to chat with me about various ways that the pandemic is affecting us. While chatting the other day we discovered each of us was putting the other up on a pedestal as a person who had been "productive" during the pandemic, and then devaluing our own accomplishments. We talk about video games, virtual community, social issues, mental health, productivity, neurodivergence, burnout, self-care, art school, sleep hygiene, and valuing yourself and your unique contributions. Laughs and F-bombs ahoy!Artwork used in cover by Eliot!Tw/Cw: Depression, anxiety, trauma, addiction, substances, Covid-19, and the pandemicReal Human Better is now on Discord!https://discordapp.com/channels/@me/812871061670068224/821134783735267338Real Human Better Facebookhttps://www.facebook.com/Real-Human-Better-101628431484897Heather Chelan - @hebonthewebPandemic Songhttps://www.instagram.com/p/CDRV20fp3A-/Sleep Hygiene!https://www.sleepfoundation.org/sleep-hygienehttp://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tipsFlux - Computer lighting control to improve health/sleepKim's recommends it!https://justgetflux.com/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Raven Transcending Fear

Raven Transcending Fear

2021-03-1001:12:16

Terri Kozlowski joins me to discuss her new book, "Raven Transcending Fear". Terri is a writer, educator, leader, artist, life coach, podcaster, blogger, and a proud Native American of the Athabaskan, Gwich'in Tribe - Raven Clan. Terri is a survivor of childhood sexual assault and trauma. She shares her healing journey, her reclamation of authentic self, her decision to be a survivor rather than a victim, her daily personal practice, and her decision to choose love over fear.Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, r*pe, trauma, abuse, child abuse, addiction, substances, abandonment, racism, ancestral trauma, religion, and spirituality.Terri's Websitehttps://terrikozlowski.com/Raven Transcending Fearhttps://www.amazon.com/dp/1949798801/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=Soul Solutions Podcasthttps://terrikozlowski.com/soul-solutions-podcast/A Course in Miracleshttps://acim.org/Kintsugihttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9LMKGte0UUhttps://medium.com/@andreamantovani/kintsugi-and-the-art-of-repair-life-is-what-makes-us-b4af13a39921https://mymodernmet.com/kintsugi-kintsukuroi/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Finding OK will be finishing Season 2 at the end of this month and I will be taking a break before returning with Season 3 in late May! There are lots of new and exciting things happening with the podcast and new ways you can connect with me! Finding OK is now the #1 Mental Health Podcast in Jamaica!Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Cailin returns to share new aspects of their healing journey! Cailin has started Equine Therapy and we also discuss the important role that Yoga plays in their life and healing. Join us for a conversation about somatic alternatives or additions to talk therapy. Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Healing the Survivors

Healing the Survivors

2021-02-1701:19:53

Jacquelyn Weis is the author of, "Healing the Survivors - 8 Steps to Whole-Self Healing". She is a member of the Northwestern Band Shoshone Nation, a Certified Emotion Code Practitioner, Body Code Practitioner, T3 Therapist, Native Herbalist, Native Holistic Healer, mother, and wife. Jacquelyn shares how strong women, community support, cultural practices, and holistic healing modalities saved her life and helped her heal after her traumas. We discuss generational/ancestral trauma, the Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirit movement (MMIWG2S), and what non-native people can do to help. She also shares a beautiful song in her native language to bring survivors strength, power, and healing. Tw/Cw: Sexual assault, rape, trauma, PTSD, depression, suicide, trafficking, violence, genocide, systemic oppression, generational trauma, racism, and spirituality.Jacquelyn's Websitehttps://www.jacquelynweis.com/indexHealing the Survivors Bookhttps://www.jacquelynweis.com/booksHealing the Survivors Podcasthttps://anchor.fm/jacquelyn-weisMissing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirithttps://www.csvanw.org/mmiwhttps://mmiwusa.org/Indigenous Intentions - Supports MMIWG2Shttps://www.etsy.com/shop/IndigenousIntentions?ref=s2-header-shopnameNorthwestern Band Shoshone Nationhttps://nwbshoshone.squarespace.com/https://utahindians.org/archives/shoshone/history.htmlNative Land Maphttps://native-land.ca/InsideOut Institutehttps://www.theinsideoutinstitute.com/home-page1588712601767Emotion Codehttps://discoverhealing.com/the-emotion-code/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily and I continue our discussion about Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, trafficking, suicide, violence, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic.Video on the Santa Fe Obeliskhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWILegal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aidPetition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-fiveO'Gah Po'Geh Altar Projecthttps://www.ogahpogehaltarproject.com/Article by Southwestern Contemporaryhttps://southwestcontemporary.com/is-the-public-art-project-at-the-santa-fe-plaza-obelisk-allyship-or-artwashing/Restoratice Justice and the SF Obeliskhttps://retakeourdemocracy.org/2020/10/28/using-restorative-justice-to-address-the-obelisk-could-have-national-implications/Indigenous Peacemaking Initiativehttps://peacemaking.narf.org/Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/INCITE! - A network of radical feminists of color organizing to end state violence and violence in their homes and communities.https://incite-national.org/National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalitionhttps://boardingschoolhealing.org/Missing and Murdered Indigenous Womxn, Girls, and Two Spirithttps://www.csvanw.org/mmiwhttps://mmiwusa.org/https://www.niwrc.org/sites/default/files/documents/Resources/nm_mmiwr_report_final_web_v120920.pdfDr. Christina M. Castrohttps://ndncollective.org/people/dr-christina-m-castro/Three Sisters Collectivehttps://threesisterscollective.org/Media Education Foundationhttps://www.mediaed.org/Palestine Chronicle Articlehttps://www.palestinechronicle.com/love-me-love-me-im-a-liberal-from-peter-beinart-to-santa-fes-liberal-mayor/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Lily Sage and I discuss the ways that our current punitive judicial system fails all of us, especially the marginalized and survivors of sexual assault, and we discuss Restorative Justice as a potential alternative. Lily discusses a paper she wrote before the Me Too movement and how many of the concepts and ideas that were groundbreaking a decade ago are now much more a part of our evolving social consciousness. She shares her personal introduction to Restorative Justice, what it is, what it has to offer, how it challenges us, and some of the issues and obstacles to implementing some form of it in our society.Land Acknowledgement - Lily is joining us from O'gah'Pog'eh or White Shell Place, occupied Tewa lands otherwise known as Santa Fe, NM. Hecate is living on Wappinger, and Munsee Lenape occupied lands on the East Coast.Tw/Cw: sexual assault, rape, trauma, violence, suicide, the justice system, police, systemic oppression, racism, eugenics, ableism, generational trauma, addiction, substances, and the pandemic. Video on the Santa Fe Obeliskhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fySNkGPsNWILegal Aid for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://dsasantafe.org/legal-aid/Petition for clemency for the SF Obelisk 5 - You can help!https://www.change.org/p/mayor-webber-clemency-for-sf-obelisk-fiveKay Pranis - Living Justice Presshttp://www.livingjusticepress.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC=%7B5EA7355F-29D7-411D-A977-BF092BC6CC9C%7DAngela Davishttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angela_DavisAbolitionist Toolkit from Critical Resistance - Founded by Angela Davis http://criticalresistance.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/CR-Abolitionist-Toolkit-online.pdfAdrienne Maree Brownhttp://adriennemareebrown.net/2015/07/09/what-isisnt-transformative-justice/Girls Town Movie trailerhttps://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=girls+town+movie1996Philly's Pissed - (no longer active)https://www.phillyspissed.net/Philly Survivor Support Collective (Philly's Pissed directs you here)https://phillysurvivorsupportcollective.wordpress.com/Philly Stands Up (created after Philly's Pissed)https://phillystandsup.wordpress.com/Sex Offender Rehabilitationhttps://www.prisonfellowship.org/2011/05/working-with-sex-offenders-what-you-need-to-know/Sex Offender Rehabilitation Center - I just found this and can't speak to it in any way...but it looks very promising and has been around since the 80's. Check it out if you have the spoons, it's very interesting. This looks like a group that's been doing the work we talk about in the episode as being needed.https://www.teachinghumaneexistence.com/I couldn't find any articles I was happy with about the sex offender tent camps, but if you have access to the show "Our America wSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Janitta Nichols is a speaker, writer, and the author of, "The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Trauma". Janitta is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and she shares her healing process. Janitta left her career as a police officer behind to speak her truth. She is breaking the cycle for her family with faith, love, courage, and forgiveness.Tw/Cw: Trauma, PTSD, abuse, childhood sexual abuse, substances and addiction, depression, suicide, religion, spirituality, police, racism, systemic oppression, and generational trauma. The Secrets of My Mother - Breaking Free from Generational Curses and Traumahttps://www.amazon.com/Secrets-My-Mother-Breaking-Generational-ebook/dp/B08PSPZJHBJanitta's Websitehttp://www.janittanichols.com/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
In this episode I share a personal story of freezing during an assault and talk about forgiving ourselves for moments we weren't able to respond as we might have wished. I share a little bit about traveling in India and some of the safety measures I have taken over the years during my time there. I also share a personal practice that is a part of my own healing journey.Gulabi Gang - These women give me lifehttps://gulabigang.in/Chappal Marungi - Movement to combat "Eve Teasing" or Cat callinghttps://www.ndtv.com/mumbai-news/chappal-marungi-a-new-campaign-against-eve-teasing-468338TW for this article, it is upsetting but talks about the years following the Delhi bus attackhttps://time.com/5754565/india-rape-new-delhi-bus-attack/History and Cultural context - TW for this one toohttps://sayfty.com/pay-attention-rapes-in-india/Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Laughs On Wry

Laughs On Wry

2021-01-1301:32:56

Lisa David Olson is a speaker, creative coach, podcaster, comedian, and the author of the book, "Laughs On Wry - An Improviser's Memoir". Lisa loves connecting with people through humor, laughing, pranking, being brave, hot yoga, coffee, and embarrassing her kids. She is always on the lookout for more of her favorite people: weirdos.Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, child abuse, PTSD, alcoholism, substances, death, weight, and the pandemic.Websitehttp://www.lisadavidolson.com/Laughs on Wry - An Improviser's Memoirhttps://www.amazon.com/Laughs-Wry-Lisa-David-Olson-ebook/dp/B07C2QPGSG/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1523649824&sr=8-1&keywords=laughs+on+wryStranger Connections - Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stranger-connections/id1516167809Phun on the Phone https://www.amazon.com/Phun-Phone-Lisa-David-Olson/dp/B08RZ3VSXZhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1trewywUZ6NRzr9MBPJU_QSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
bathtub in flames

bathtub in flames

2021-01-0601:25:36

Bailee Noella is the author of  "bathtub in flames" and creator of Cyno Apparel, the streetwear line taking shame out of mental health conditions. Join me as I talk to her about her writing process and her healing process.Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, childhood sexual assault, OCD, PTSD, substances, the pandemic, racism and sexism in Medicine, and spirituality.bathtub in flames:https://www.amazon.com/bathtub-flames-Bailee-Noella-ebook/dp/B08Q8HJ8TD/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=bathtub+in+flames+bailee+noella&qid=1607704449&sr=8-1Cyno Apparel:https://www.cynoapparel.com/Signs of Childhood Abuse:https://childabuse.stanford.edu/screening/signs.htmlhttps://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/signs.pdfhttps://www.helpguide.org/articles/abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect.htmhttps://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/241532#why-is-it-importantSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
The Importance of Awe

The Importance of Awe

2020-12-3126:30

The experience of awe is a rarely discussed but incredibly powerful part of growth and healing. In this episode I discuss the benefits of awe, I torture some metaphors, give you some ideas of how to seek out awe in your daily life, and share some of my most memorable experiences of awe that transformed my life or stuck with me over the years.Tw/Cw: Trauma, abuse, PTSD, spirituality, and a metaphor involving hypothermiaArticles and research on awe:https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/eight_reasons_why_awe_makes_your_life_betterhttps://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Awe_FINAL.pdfhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/understanding-awe/201704/the-emerging-science-awe-and-its-benefitsShrinkage of the brain:https://www.bbrfoundation.org/content/shrinkage-brain-structure-linked-severe-ptsd-symptoms-combat-exposure#:~:text=of%20the%20time.-,New%20research%20published%20in%20the%20April%20issue%20of%20the%20journal,with%20fear%20processing%20and%20emotion.Neuroplasticityhttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuroplasticity#:~:text=Neuroplasticity%2C%20also%20known%20as%20neural,systematic%20adjustments%20like%20cortical%20remapping.https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01657/fullSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Movies with Hecate and Kim

Movies with Hecate and Kim

2020-12-1601:03:53

Kim and I talk movies and have some laughs. In this episode we cover some more movies with strong women. I talk about a movie I hate and that you should never under any circumstances watch, and Kim introduces me to the movie trope, "Born Sexy Yesterday".Born Sexy Yesterdayhttps://youtu.be/0thpEyEwi80Support the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Darker Subjects

Darker Subjects

2020-12-0930:03

In this episode Kim and I touch on some darker subject matter. I discuss my experiences with a human cadaver lab, responding as a bystander in a medical emergency, and using my words to escape an abuser. We also talk about how people respond to crisis and nerd it up briefly with Star Trek. Please pay attention to the content warnings, this episode is not for everyone!Tw/Cw: Death, human anatomy, blood, a story of a medical emergency, trauma, situations of trauma, molestation, stalking, and a single mention of rape. Kitty Genovese Wikihttps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Kitty_GenoveseKitty Genovese and 911https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/blog/history-of-911-americas-emergency-service-before-and-after-kitty-genovese/Bystander Effecthttps://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/bystander-effectStiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach(This book is seriously so good)https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/32145.StiffSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Rich Inner Worlds

Rich Inner Worlds

2020-12-0223:06

In this episode I discuss the importance of creating and nurturing a rich inner life. I open up about how my own inner world as a child saved my life and use this example to help explain how mindful cultivation of inner landscapes of beauty and hope can be an essential and potentially lifesaving tool during times of prolonged stress and crisis. Tw/Cw: Child abuse, trauma, PTSD, stress, chronic illness, suicidal ideation, the pandemic, horror movie senarios used briefly in jest.Hierarchy of Needs referenced in episodehttps://www.simplypsychology.org/maslow.htmlSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
Kim and I discuss some of our experiences with lucid dreaming and share some tips that might help you. I share my struggle with nightmares in the past and a revelation in therapy that gave me insight into a reoccurring theme.Tw/Cw: PTSD, trauma, substances, nightmares, death, decay, brief mention of psych wardSupport the show (https://www.buymeacoffee.com/FindingOK)
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