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Charting Toward Intimacy
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Charting Toward Intimacy

Author: Ellen Holloway

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Looking for answers to the questions you don't want to Google? Not sure where to get help when your sexual life is on the rocks and everything the secular culture has to offer is only making things worse? Welcome to Charting Toward Intimacy where you learn to actually enjoy and desire good, holy sex with your spouse. 

Hosted by Ellen Holloway, Catholic Sex and Intimacy Coach.


168 Episodes
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In this episode we'll address the misconception among individuals practicing Natural Family Planning (NFP) that their sexual desire only peaks during the fertile window due to hormonal influences. Listen in to see what you really need to change to experience more desire for sex!___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
This episode addresses the complexities and challenges couples face regarding postpartum sex. The episode covers the expectations, fears, and physical changes women and their partners might experience, emphasizing the importance of communication, understanding, and patience. Techniques such as perineal massage and the use of lubricants are suggested to ease discomfort and anxiety during postpartum sexual activity. Additionally, discussions include men's perspectives on postpartum sex, the importance of pelvic floor therapy, and the possible impact of SSRIs on sexual function. The episode is designed to equip couples with knowledge and tools to navigate postpartum sex, enhancing intimacy and relationship satisfaction.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Ellen addresses the common pursuit of perfectionism in marriage and sexual relationships, emphasizing that perfection is not a prerequisite for intimacy or spiritual growth. She discusses how striving for a perfect relationship or sexual encounter can be paralyzing, whereas embracing the imperfection can lead to significant growth, healing, and a deeper bond. Trial, error, and grace-filled perseverance in sexual intimacy can transform and sanctify marriage.Get the Orgasm Course for Catholic Women at vinesinfullbloom.com/orgasm___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
In this episode of 'Charting Toward Intimacy', Kathleen and Ellen discuss the misconception of sex being a love language. They explain that sex should be a result of love and intimacy rather than the base of it, and argue that using sex as the glue that holds a relationship together creates a false expectation and could become unfulfilling over time. The five love languages - words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch - are examined, with the assertion that each is inherently separate from sex. The necessity of understanding one's own and their partner's love languages to truly fulfill each other's needs is emphasized.Apply now to Ellen's 8-week one on one coaching program and see how your marriage and sex life can be transformed in just 2 months. ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
In this episode Ellen discusses the deep connection between sex and prayer. She implements the teachings of the Catechism, arguing that just as prayer cannot be reduced to spontaneous desire but requires an active will, sex should also not be reduced to spontaneous physical desire. She encourages listeners to recognize the depth of sexual relations as an experience of unity and not just physical satisfaction. She also stresses that desire for sex should be understood as a longing for deeper unity and relationship with one's spouse.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
This podcast, led by Ellen Holloway and Kathleen Chavones, discusses the challenges of sticking to Natural Family Planning (NFP) during instances of limited fertile days and mandatory abstinence due to serious medical or financial constraints. It emphasizes how suffering and sacrifice are crucial elements of the Christian journey. They tackle the often-perceived unfairness of NFP, clarifying how beliefs about God not wanting us to suffer are misleading. They argue that during these periods of struggle, couples need support from the virtues of prudence, temperance, and fortitude, and that relying on God's grace is essential to persevere through the difficulties. They conclude by acknowledging the hardships faced by couples in extreme circumstances, offering their respect and empathetic support.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
This episode focuses on the emotional complexities of initiating sex within a Catholic marriage, emphasizing the importance of understanding individual desires and the associated vulnerabilities. Through an in-depth discussion, Ellen addresses various misconceptions about physical desire and urges couples to explore deeper emotional and spiritual desires and how it relates to sexual intimacy. Helpful strategies are suggested for initiating and responding to initiation in a loving, considerate manner. The podcast closes with the need for clear communication and understanding in terms of family planning intentions and the perceived readiness for sexual intimacy in a woman's perspective.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Mike 'Gomer' Gormley joins host Ellen as they discuss the detrimental effects of sexual passivity on marriage and ways to overcome it. Gomer provides valuable insights from a male perspective, emphasizing the importance of sexual initiation, communication, respect, and genuine love in maintaining a healthy sex life and marriage. The duo takes a deep dive into topics such as the significance of non-sexual touch, misconceptions about male and female sexual drives, and the role of honest, non-judgmental conversation in fostering intimacy. The podcast episode serves as a platform for open dialogue on a significant, yet often overlooked issue in relationships, encouraging listeners to rethink and reshape their attitudes towards marital intimacy.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
In this podcast episode, Ellen addresses the challenge of navigating sex within a marriage, particularly from a Catholic perspective. She discusses a situation where a couple put such heavy emphasis on the religious significance of sex that it led to tension and avoidance, reducing their sexual encounters drastically. Ellen proposes that adding a sense of fun and lightness to one's sex life can relieve the pressure, fostering trust and openness between partners. This approach can be implemented via laughter-oriented activities, games, or playful preludes to sex, ultimately improving sexual intimacy and communication in marriage.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
In this podcast Ellen, discusses the idea of women becoming gatekeepers of sex in a relationship, specifically within the context of a Catholic marriage and family planning. In conversation with guest Grace Stark, editor for Natural Womanhood, they suggest that the issue can be seen as an issue of communication rather than a power struggle. They discuss ways to foster stronger communication, and to share responsibility for family planning and initiating intimacy. Additionally, they delve into strategies to shift from a default 'no' response to a 'yes', fostering an atmosphere of openness and honesty within the relationship.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
In this episode, hosts Ellen and Kathleen talk about lessons they wish they knew on their wedding night. They highlight the importance of open communication, and understanding the depth and holiness of sex within marriage, and how it goes beyond just fulfilling an urge. They emphasize the need to translate the intellectual understanding of the sanctity of sex to the heart. Both share their insights about how this realization has been a journey, requiring continual growth and wrestling with the realities of intimacy. Both hosts express a desire to normalize conversations about sex in their circles and feel that such communication is essential for a healthy understanding of intimacy.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
In this episode, we discuss the common scenario of feeling too tired for marital intimacy. We'll talk about the importance of identifying the root cause, be it a heavy workload, miscommunication, or simply needing more sleep. Here's some of the big takeaways: understand each other's perspectives, engage in active communication, take a fresh look at sex, viewing it not as a chore but as a way to enhance intimacy and connection.Sex is vital in reinforcing the bond and renewing wedding vows, so being too tired for it is not an option. It's time to make some changes in your life.Looking for more pleasure in your sex life? Or maybe just looking for any pleasure at all? Get The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women!___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Ellen is joined by Dr. Sarah Bartel for part 2 of their conversation on licit and illicit acts. The episode focuses primarily on pornography, sex manuals, sex therapy, and imaginative role-play in marriage. They stress the importance of respecting both the unitive and procreative functions of sex in Catholic teaching.Please go listen to the episode prior to this one titled Sex Toys, Lingerie, and Orgasms, Oh My! with Dr. Sarah Bartel before listening to this follow up conversation.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Ellen discusses sex and intimacy within the confines of Catholic marriage with guest Dr. Sarah Bartel. The primary focus is on demystifying varying questions related to sexual acts in Catholic marriage, ensuring they respect both the procreative and unitive aspects of sex. These include discussions on topics as varied as the use of sex toys, wearing lingerie, and the acceptance of different sexual acts.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Ellen and Kathleen are discussing on how to overcome despair and struggles associated with intimacy in a marriage. They emphasize that giving in to despair only strengthens the negative forces affecting our lives. They stress the importance of holding onto faith and prayer, and provide tips for dealing with difficult periods.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
We're talking about why recording sexual encounters between spouses is not in line with the Catholic understanding of marital intimacy. The discussion explores the sanctity of sex within marriage, emphasizing the importance of privacy and mutual self-gift. Ultimately, the episode underscores the importance of present commitment and love in sexual relationships rather than objectifying and recording the act.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Ellen and Kathleen discuss a myriad of assumptions women often make about sex, how they negatively impact one's sex life, and how to overcome them. They delve into the concepts of responsive and spontaneous desires, discuss misconceptions about men and women's sexual needs, emphasize the importance of communication in sex, and highlight that sex is an individualized experience, unique to each couple.Get The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women ON SALE in honor of the Immaculate Conception! Codes available through December 8, 2023 at 11:59 pm PTUse code IMMACULATE49 for $49 dollars off (only 8 available)Use code IMMACULATE29 for $29 dollars off (only 16 available)Use code IMMACULATE for $19 dollars off (unlimited available)___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Ever been stuck during arousal because you hit a plateau and you don't know what happens next? This episode is for you.Ellen outlines two main models for understanding and navigating female sexual arousal in this episode.Masters and Johnson's four-phase linear model, which is applicable for both men and women, includes excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.Basson's cyclical model, purely focused on female sexual response, takes the varied facets of female sexual response into consideration.Get The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women!___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
Ellen and Kathleen discuss the topic of finding peace when sex and family planning don't go as planned. They delve into how controlling sexual outcomes can hinder the freedom and fullness that are inherent in marital intimacy. They suggest that recognizing the divine role in every sexual act and outcome, and surrendering the need for control, can lead to peace in family planning, even when things go awry. They also discuss the pressure of societal norms vis-a-vis family size, and encourage listeners to pray for peace in surrendering their families to God's divine plan.The Orgasm Course for Catholic Women ___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
In this episode, Ellen discusses the virtue of patience, particularly in the context of sex, marital intimacy, and pregnancy. She explores the connection between patience and our spiritual, emotional well-being and offers practical tips to make waiting more bearable. Her key messages underline that patience is a stepping stone to holiness and is not a burden. She emphasizes the need to embrace patience and view it as an opportunity for growth and spiritual development, going so far as to associate it with joy. Toward the end of the episode, she provides some strategies for practicing patience, like seeking holy distractions and understanding the root cause of any frustration or anger associated with waiting.APPLY NOW for the 2024 GIVEN Cohort Thank you to the GIVEN Institute for sponsoring this week's episode.___________________________________ Did we mention a book on this week's episode? Click here for our recommended books! Have a question you want to hear answered on a future podcast episode? Click Here to submit questions! Looking for support around sexuality, NFP, sexual ethics, or something we talked about in this episode? Click here to learn more about Ellen's 12 week coaching program. Reach out at instagram.com/chartingtowardintimacy/ or email us at ellen@vinesinfullbloom.comThe Charting Toward Intimacy Exclusive Community is now closed, if you would like to support the podcast, please consider purchasing one of our courses: vinesinfullbloom.com/courses
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