This Isn’t Therapy

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! ‎💋‎💋 Article: Emotionally Immature ParentsBy Psych CentralDon't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we’ve made to reduce mental health stigma?!Sources:- Beware Lifestyle Fascismby Maya Vinokour-Why the politics of young men and women are drifting further and further apartby Nimo Omer for The GuardianP.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends. *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one!P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results.P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship.Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana GuptaCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don’t Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary!A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem you notice. You do not need to sign up for more problems to solve. Sometimes it is better to let problems be problems rather than answer our urge to solve them.”Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne get confused!!) through the unpacking of two well-known personality typologies: Introverts and Extroverts. Hold on to your hat, Wendy, because we're setting sail on a magical journey into personality! Is shyness a personality trait or a mental health problem? Tune in to find out! :oBook discussed: "Quiet" by Susan CainP.S - Got an idea for an episode? A story to submit? Reach out: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung up on the perfect all-in-one friend. Then, in our newest/shiniest/sexiest final segment, Asking For a Friend, a #lovelylistener queries about irrational fears. Article: Best Friends Forever? It's a Myth by Claire Cohen.NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon and Jake talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism? In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about what happens when therapy sessions become public and streamed to the masses.Article: ‘It was actually beautiful’: the wild rise in people turning their therapy sessions into devastating TV by Eleanor MorganCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon 

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that therapists, school counselors, and the language of therapy that has influenced parenting in the past decade or so are, in her view, harming kids." So, what really is harming the kids? Is it therapy or maybe, just maybe, it's something else...Source: Who’s Making The Kids Cry by Anna Nordberg for SlateP.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn’t Therapy… it’s an *encore* discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, called “As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up.” Hint hint, it’s allegedly the smartphone. 📲🤳🏼👀Article discussed: As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up by Andrew SofinLink to the study: More Scrolling, More Marital Problems conducted by Wendy Wang and Michael Toscano of the Institute for Family Studies (IFS)Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn’t produce the feelings (and lasting results) they promise.Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst.Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... this is an *encore* conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting through mother hen syndrome and how being the thinking brain/emotional caretaker for others leads to relationship burnout. We'll also talk about the origins of these caring behaviours and discuss the difference between genuine caring and chronic caretaking. Also, we meet Gary and Bella -- did Gary ever find his sunnies?Article: Why 'Raising' Your Partner Leads to Relationship Burnout. by Yvonne CastañedaP.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from their therapists. Grab a bib coz baby this episode is juicy!!!!!P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* discussion about the importance of mattering. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about mattering, a feeling of meaningful significance to others, and what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like in relationships. Jake walks us through the questions he asks his clients when they report that, or he gets the sense that, they feel like they don't matter to those who matter to them. Yeehaw! Mattering matters!Bonus: This episode was featured on CBC's Podcast Playlist!! That's right, our This Isn't Therapy hit the national broadcast airwaves, baby, and landed a spot on CBC's Best Indie Podcasts list! ✨💖 >> CBC's Podcast Playlist: Full episode (or wherever you play your podcasts!) >> *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the benefits. All that and more!BBC Article discussed: Young people turning to AI therapist botsDon't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab, encore conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely. P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy... it's the encore episode about the overuse of therapy language and the impact its having on our relationships. Gaslighting? Triggered? Trauma-bonding? What do these words actually mean!? And are we using them correctly? Listen to find out. Also, Jake and Simon welcome special guests: Dr. Miriam-Webster, Tammy Toxic, and Gary Gaslight. This is an episode you absolutely don't want to miss, mmmmmkay?Articles:TIME: Gaslighting, Narcissist, and More Psychology Terms You're Misusing by Angela HauptThe New York Times: How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating by Dani BlumCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

This Isn't Therapy...this is our *final* episode until the summer break!! On this weeks eppy, Jake and Simon asked "how do you navigate change?" Through two #lovelylisteners stories, they explore the honest struggle that comes with sudden change and how defaulting to "old habits" isn't necessarily a bad thing. Juicy! Sidebar: if you're a first time caller or a long time listener, thank you for being here!  See you in the fall xoP.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.comCreators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣Jake Ernst: @mswjakeSimon Paluck: @directedbysimonEpisode mixed by Jordan Paluck