Going Terribly
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© Alice and Doug
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Imagine the most adult children you know – discussing the environmental impact of menstruation cups one minute and making poop jokes the next. That’s Doug and that’s Alice. Two friends who decided to Always Be Recording. He’s a filmmaker, and she’s a college English professor. Their chemistry is accidental. And so is this auditory compendium of their verbal musings.
You are invited to join their lighthearted conversational romps through all of life's absurdities.
You are invited to join their lighthearted conversational romps through all of life's absurdities.
265 Episodes
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On this week's special 5-year (and one-week and one-day) anniversary edition of Going Terribly, Alice and Doug welcome special guests Nicholas Atlantic City Gonzalez and Wendy "If That Is Your Real Name" Brown to the show for games and shenanigans. Will Wendy's son ever accept her as a professional wrestling colleague?Will Nick ever get *ahem* "invited" into an operating room mid-surgery?Have they both secretly been living in Doug and Alice's attic? All this and more will be revealed (or at least brought up and quickly dismissed) in this monumental episode.It's also National Podcast Day, but not a person in the studio was able to name another podcast, so that's a little embarrassing.Other discussion topics may include:- Ever wanted to have salami with Tony Hawk? There may be one particular day when you can!- Put sticks up your butt, but make it fashion- Kindergartens that feature strip club pop-ups- Guerrilla peeing- Frank Thunderstorm vs. Greg Tsunami
Merry Christmas!Wait. That can't be right.Well, something weird is going down this week. You might as well check in and see what it is. If you stick around long enough you'll hear some alarming things about Costco, turkey bacon, and fanny packs. Real suburbanite kinda stuff.It's Going Terribly: The Anthrax-Free Edition. Other discussion topics may include:- Doing an audiobook for the LA Times- Friendly, mom-replacing artificial intelligence- Video game peace of mind- Has anyone with the same first and last name ever *not* been a murderer?- Having a hot dog half hosed down one's throat
This week Doug and Alice spend most of the episode becoming educated in poops and adjacent fields, thanks to an old, forgotten birthday gift. When they're not doing that, Doug is finally learning some new music while Alice is wondering if her memory has been partially erased by the FBI.Other discussion topics may include:- Trying to make "going giraffe" happen- Why you don't want to be attacked by The Green Goblin- Unassertive cats and the clean beds they leave behind- New game show idea: "Is This Blood or Is This Red Meat?"- Intestinal autonomy
What happens when you have to record an episode twice due to a technical issue the first time? You end up with a lot of slap happy ridiculousness, including some impromptu "Words with Nerds."Come roll some r's, hit some hard g's, and keep your k's in line in this really strange installment of Going Terribly.Other discussion topics may include:- Sailor talk: innovative or ignorant?- Cereal boxes as a regular form of learning- What is your favorite high school book, and did you ever finish it?- Ukulele hunts- How does one grease up one's Kotter?
Highland cows are really having a moment. As are pickles. And if you'd listen to this week's episode you'd think that so are American Girl dolls, poop knives, and super sexy swans (AND their cloacas). You know what's not having a moment? Windi the Gas Passer. Want to learn what that is? You've come to the right place.Other discussion topics may include:- Who won the war between the Spartans and the Aztecs?- How to make your furniture smell more like delicious food- The single greatest idea for pumpkin pie this century- Avoiding lawsuits from super powerful mythical beings- Testicular ear buds
In a world...where zomboodles and sea urchins run the streets, one fishmonger's daughter and her sour cream-fearing paramour do the only thing they know...Make really juvenile jokes on a weekly podcast. Other discussion topics may include:- Do you remember your first chicken marsala?- How to legally acquire your neighbor's dog- The dangers of living in a $250 house- Bad questions to ask at a job interview and why you should just go ahead and ask- An unfortunate (and very large) elephant visual
This week Doug regales us with origin tales of a couple of sticky substances. Meanwhile Alice is looking for a dongle wherever she can find it. And they have the audacity to call someone *else* "Dirty Dan." Other discussion topics may include:- Relearning how to play a mouth instrument- A multi-decades long sandpaper obsession- Period pills: What in the world?- Frank Lloyd Wright's Andrew Lloyd Weber- The worst possible thing a swan could do to you
This week Doug and Alice spend a lot of time chatting about old teen sitcoms involving twins, retired football stars, bands, evil twins, and fantastic(?) theme songs. They cap off the episode by trying to update an old classic singalong for the modern child.In between there are yard sales, heartburn, and...long burgers? Other discussion topics may include:- When was Sir Mix-a-Lot knighted?- A bad time at the Golden Corral- Revealing the long-debated origins of the "Meat Plate"- Sweet Valley Dysentery- Why aren't Supernatural fans called "Supernatches"?
It's almost a great day with Doug, as he researched the wrong day to start the episode. Whoops. Other than that, Alice laments the times of her class/grass conscious youth while Doug experiences his first conscious bout of xenophobia. It's also "It Went Terribly" week, so they correct some stuff, explain some things, and undoubtedly get everything else wrong. Other discussion topics may include:- Hello Kitty is not a girl, not yet a kitten- If not Chuck E. Cheese, where can teens go to play with balls these days?- George Washington's fake teeth - wooden or just wine stained?- A regretful amount of fart talk- Vienna sausage trickery
Danger Will Robinson!Alice has a story about a somewhat defective clock shaped heart purse. Or a heart purse in a clock. Or a ...purse heart clock. Whatever the case, Doritos and Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor are somehow involved. Elsewhere, there's something in Doug's hair, and he can't take the heat outside as well as his septuagenarian neighbor. But at least he has his incredible height? Other discussion topics may include:- What do NBA players put in their purses?- An attempt at being a Boy II Man- Are people too protective of their fabric scissors?- A terrible name for a bicycling competition- How old were you when your grandparents gave you your first yard sale nudie mags?
This week Doug and Alice reflect on a couple of really great weekends. Cream was licked. Fudge was packed. Stomachs were clumped up.It's been a pretty darn good time.Other discussion topics may include:- Elite creamers- Snow White voodoo dolls- What is hotboxing? And what could it be if people really wanted it to be?- Pilots with pudding on their face- What if a murder stood between you and ice cream?
Rejoice! For it's finally time for the 250th episode of Going Terribly! Two-time guest host Will.he.is (who just might be Superman) finally joins both Doug and Alice at the same time as just a GUEST (a significant demotion, but don't tell him). It's the longest episode ever, and it's back to back, wall to wall, Godball to Godball games. You'll learn so much about crayons, video games, hot dog toppings, Muppets, 8-year old war veterans, Florida men, and...bull semen?Do we finally have the first on-air death of the year? There's only one way to find out!Other discussion topics may include:- Are lice just beard fairies?- Butt pocket pudding- Where to find the best worms on a stick- The majestic, elusive beauty of the purple-yellow crayon- Reverse swallowing
Alice just learned that a compliment she received years ago was plagiarized. And Doug believes she may have had a tryst with Cameron Crowe. Meanwhile, they learn some rather disturbing news about some of America's favorite clothing, footwear, and soda. Does everything have evil origins?*Other discussion topics may include:- Are there too many Sharknado movies? Or perhaps...not enough?- Edward Norton's potentially unique relationship with God - Just what IS a "magnificent fall"?- Non-German German Chocolate Cake...but plenty of other less good German stuff- Farting babies*Probably.
The D-Man and A-Girl are in the house!Alice is out of steroids. Doug may have eaten a block of eye shadow.Alice thinks she may be more woman than some dude.Doug can't stop saying "coochie."The stage is set. Witness the chaos.Other discussion topics may include:- That mood when you just want to watch a few hundred people drown- A 12-year old's contract to not have children- How to tick off the National Persimmon Alliance- Could Tom have just been trying to get with Jerry?- That Famous Amos cookie fella was actually really awesome. No, seriously.
Happy birthday, Mr. Disney! (the other one)The episode has a depressing start before finally getting into all the boner and nipple hair talk you've grown to love. Or at least expect. This week Alice gears up to run her annual Summer Playwriting Workshop while Doug discovers he's not a boy, but not quite a man.Other discussion topics may include:- What if Dr. Seuss were a podiatrist?- Mel Brooks vs. Kumar. Finally.- Never bring up a man's vamp size.- Classic Disney World rides, like Mt. Everest- Chuck Taylor. No, really. Like, the original shoe dude.Sure seems like a lot of foot talk, doesn't it?
Well, Alice is back. But she's still facing some COVID aftershocks. And now Doug has COVID for the very first time. No, this is episode isn't coming to you straight from mid-2020.Alice shares tales from Salt Lake City (spoiler: it's a lot of sitting in her hotel room watching movies, like Crazy Rich Asians). And Doug overshares about his unique COVID symptoms.Still not 2020 though. We promise.Other discussion topics include:- Getting all one's medical knowledge from Dick Van Dyke's Diagnosis Murder- The wittiest Davids- The time Keanu Reeves had his talent stolen by the Monstars- Why frogs might be the most exhausted animals- Messy sheets: Poop or Caesar salad incident?
Alice is unfortunately ill this week, but Will.he.is has (figuratively) stepped into her shoes to co-host with Doug this week. They'll discuss a bunch of questions only...ahem, Will can answer, as well as the debut of the game "Meat or Myth."They cap off the episode with every single delicious and/or weird thing imminently coming to you at restaurants and store shelves with "New Yum City." Other discussion topics may include:- Do men brag about the amount of pee that comes out of them?- How Hello Kitty can make anyone interested in wearing makeup- Testicular bicycle dangers, featuring the Meaty Blues- Does anyone REALLY like cotton candy?- The (hopefully) upcoming Blue Mouthed Food Club
There's a lot of talk about currency and puzzle terminology this episode. But just so you don't think Doug and Alice have completely turned over a new leaf, they absolutely say the word "sausage" more than has ever been said in a non-pork-specific podcast. So much sausage, y'all. Sweet, savory, spicy, Vienna. It's all covered in this one.Other discussion topics may include:- How to properly get into a spread eagle position at the gym. Like a lady.- Is Def Comedy Jam short for Def Comedy Jamboree?- Elusive doughnuts- Remembering the time Tom Hanks defused a bomb and slapped another celebrity, or something.- Which steamed sausage casing looks the most like a condom?
We're all lucky to still have Alice around after her near-death bug trap experience this past week. Luckily a Backstreet Boys-featured musical has been the cure for what ailed her. Other discussion topics:- Is it time for another live-action Flintstones movie?- The possibly true (but likely not) story of the first person to dip fries in a Wendy's Frosty- How to play a slug like an ocarina- Paul McCartney vs. The Swede- Is your deep freeze big enough for your loved one? You know, just in case?
The NBA Playoffs have been going on for what seems like forever, and Alice was able to pull herself away from a scrapbooking endeavor to watch her first game. There's also some talk about computer shopping and domestic finance.Yes, this is adulthood, folks. We all need to get used to it.Other discussion topics may include:- Dongles- A basement escort- Cocker- Taking advantage of a browser's incognito mode- Yak butterAnd exactly zero of those are anything dirty, so looks like you need to grow up, too.
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