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Goodbye to All This

Author: BBC World Service

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“I still love him and I miss him.” Losing the thing you are most sure of and coming out the other side - a story about life, love and loss. A 12-part memoir by Sophie Townsend.
9 Episodes
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8. Going under

8. Going under

2020-11-3032:02

“Mama, I can’t get to you!” There’s unexpected danger on a holiday, when the family is swept out to sea in Byron Bay, Australia. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.
7. Port in the storm

7. Port in the storm

2020-11-2326:192

“His death is nothing like the worst thing. The worst thing is now.” Sophie is struggling after Russell’s death. Everyone is trying to help, but is saying the wrong thing – except one person, who knows what it’s like because his wife has died. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.
6. The funeral

6. The funeral

2020-11-1622:041

Love, flashes of anger and remembering funny things. It's the first time Sophie has nothing to do except sit since her husband died. And she looks like Jackie Kennedy at JFK’s funeral. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.
5. The crowded goodbye

5. The crowded goodbye

2020-11-0934:526

“He was covered in flowers and looked so peaceful.” The children put them in his hair and all around him. They stroked his head and kissed him. “It was as though he could see Sophie and the girls were surrounded by lots of love. And he was surrounded by love. And perhaps Russell felt it was a safe time to go.” A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.
4. Crashing waves

4. Crashing waves

2020-11-0237:236

“I’m sorry it’s not better news.” A hospital appointment feels like a polite break-up. Sophie and Russell are told nothing more can be done. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service
3. Family portrait

3. Family portrait

2020-10-2635:175

“Hold on, we think. Hold on.” A photo and a moment captured, trying to cling on, before it all begins. The cancer treatment starts and everyone wants to help. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.
2. The secret

2. The secret

2020-10-1827:545

“Of course you’re crying. You’re very, very frightened.” Sophie had started to convince herself that she had overreacted – but she hadn’t. And now nobody must know. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.
1. A shadow

1. A shadow

2020-10-1122:293

“He blows a kiss and now I see it – there’s exhaustion in his eyes. How didn’t I notice it before?” Sophie and Russell never expected anything bad to happen – not to them. But then he had some blood tests and scans and they started to feel scared. It all begins at a coffee shop in Sydney, Australia. A Falling Tree production for the BBC World Service.
Prologue

Prologue

2020-10-0102:553

“I don’t dream about him for weeks. And then, there he is, woven into my sleep.” A story about losing the man you love and going on without him; about raising two girls through grief, being alone and surviving - mostly intact. Chapter 1 will be available from 12 October 2020.
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