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I Stand At The Door

Author: Hayden Paul

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One of the greatest battles we as Christians fight today is that against pornography. Our youth are becoming exposed at younger and younger ages. Marriages are ending in divorce and heartache. Men and women alike are becoming more and more estranged from God and the only way to freedom is to let Christ into our lives. But what is it that keeps us from letting Christ in? I believe more often than not it is shame. You have a dirty house and you want to straighten it up before you have such an important guest over. Little do you know the reason he came to your house in the first place is to clean. This podcast explores the ways we can let Christ into our lives and allow His grace to change us.
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In this episode, Hayden and Bo dive deep into the subject of repentance. Sometimes we can look at repentance as a checklist, but in reality, it is an opportunity for change that must be undergirded with sincerity.Starting at 53:23 Bo answers questions about what parents can do to support their children in the fight against pornography. He talks about boundaries and the roles that parents must play in their recovery.Then at 1:14:05 Bo and Hayden address the struggles that women have with porn. This is not a gender-specific problem and in many ways, the shame that surrounds porn is even greater when it comes to women. Thank you for listening. Please reach out to us at Hayden@istandatthedoor.comKeep up the good fight!
Hayden shares his full story from struggle to triumph.We want to hear your stories! If you are interested in sharing please reach out to us at hayden@istandatthedoor.com
When you have an open wound, it's important to take the necessary steps to prevent infection. For example, antibiotics are often necessary, as well as wound cleanings and sterile dressings. But you also have to give the wound enough time to heal. You cannot make the healing process go any faster than it needs to. Taking these steps will allow the wound to heal completely, avoiding infection that could make the problem much worse than it was at the beginning.The same goes for spiritual healing.  While it's important to take all the necessary steps to ensure you are making progress, you also have to give yourself enough time to see a change. 
* If you'd like to contact us with questions, success stories, or topic requests, shoot us an email at hayden@istandatthedoor.com *In 2 Nephi 2, we learn that God gave us the ability to choose between good and evil. One goal we have in this life is to learn how to let our spirits rule over our natural bodies and desires. When we take responsibility for our actions, it enables us to make changes in the future. When we "load up our cart" with the burden of our sins and then yoke ourselves to the Savior, He helps us make forward movement. 
In 2 Nephi 32:9, we learn that the Lord will consecrate our actions when we pray. We apply this to the fight against pornography in this episode. We talk about how we need to be a team with the Lord - not expecting Him to do all the work, but recognizing that we cannot do it on our own.
Today, we reiterate the importance of overcoming shame. Guilt helps us want to change, but shame hinders progression. We talk about how making repentance an attitude instead of an event helps us make progress. In Moroni 6:8, we learn that we are forgiven every time we sincerely repent. We can have that mindset toward ourselves and find hope and healing every time we choose to make a change.  
Send in your success/breakthrough stories to hayden@istandatthedoor.com>>>>CLICK HERE<<<< to watch our indexing tutorial!Today we talk about the importance of daily communication with God. There are many aspects of recovery, but this one is a must. Receiving personal revelation will get you on the track that will work best for you and your individual struggles.We talk about how setting and keeping daily rituals will keep you from straying too far from the path of recovery during times of hardship and relapse. Incremental improvement yields exponential results.Hayden also shares how indexing helped him overcome pornography use and why using the internet against Satan is so effective.
If you have any questions or subjects you'd like us to cover, email us at hayden@istandatthedoor.comThis week, couples therapist Sam Tielemans shares his insights on how to handle the problem of pornography in a relationship. We talk about communication, betrayal trauma, empathy, and boundaries. We hope that this podcast can bring hope to the spouses and loved ones who feel hopeless and tired.
If you have questions or feedback for us, please send us an email at hayden@istandatthedoor.com.Today we are talking about a military tactic that can help you strategize in your fight against pornography. When fighting an enemy, it is important to address immediate threats AND long-term dangers simultaneously. That way, you can keep the enemy's head down while making forward movement. We relate this to fighting pornography and give examples of short-term things you can do to block immediate threats as well as actions that can help you address deeper problems. 
Hayden shares a lesson he learned from his struggle with pornography. When we turn to the Savior, He can take our weaknesses and turn them into strengths. In this episode, we discuss the first miracle Jesus performed in His mortal ministry - turning water to wine - and relate it to our own sins.
Bo is back! This week, we address several questions we've received from our listeners with our friend Bo, who is a clinical therapist. We cover the topic of divorce and the importance of receiving personal revelation from God when making decisions in your marriage or relationship. God knows the heart of your loved ones and can give the best counsel and direction. We talk about the role that pride plays in pornography use and how Satan uses pride in different ways to pull us away from God. Finally, we address problems in dating and discuss how healthy relationships can help in your healing process.Thanks for listening. Feel free to write to us with your questions at hayden@istandatthedoor.com and make sure to leave a rating and review!
“Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven” (LDS hymn #27). When you make sacrifices to aid in your recovery, you are showing yourself and the Lord that you’re serious about this. Sacrifice shows faith and brings resilience and strength. Hayden shares more of his experience overcoming pornography and specifically points out the sacrifices he made that helped him quit. These sacrifices included changing the music he listened to, finding another job to pay for weekly therapy, fasting once a week, and deleting some social media accounts. This episode is meant to help you think of sacrifices you can make that will help you overcome the natural man. We invite you to pray and ask God what you need to give up. Your recovery will look different than others’, and it’s important to stick with the Lord and follow His guidance. He will help you! As always, shoot us an email at hayden@istandattthedoor with any questions or topics you’d like us to cover. Please leave a rating and review so we can help our audience grow and help those who need it. Thanks for listening! 
Send questions and requests to hayden@istandatthedoor.com :)Today we're talking about the power you have to bring other people to Christ - even if you're not yet where you want to be yourself. The steps you have taken to change for the better are steps you can testify of and share with others. For those who don't struggle with pornography, what message are you sending when those you love come to you about their problems? Are you enforcing a culture of shame, or cultivating a desire to continue repenting - with your love and support? 
*If you have a question or topic you'd like us to address in our podcast, send an email to hayden@istandatthedoor.com and we will cover it!*In this episode, Savannah takes the reins and talks about her perspective on pornography issues. Hayden told Savannah early on in their relationship that porn had been something he struggled with in the past. During their engagement, Hayden had a relapse and told her about it that night.Savannah shares her side of the story, including how she immediately said a prayer to receive comfort and guidance from God. We discuss the importance of personal revelation when it comes to pornography because each person and couple has a unique experience and needs specific direction. While pornography affects both men and women, we talk specifically about the mindset many women have upon finding out their boyfriend or husband looked at pornography: feeling like it is somehow their fault. Often, women feel that they aren't attractive or sexy enough and believe that is the reason their significant other had a relapse. This simply isn't true. We also discuss the difference between porn and healthy sexual intimacy in a marriage.Please remember that if you struggle with pornography, you do not have to wait until you are "perfect" or clean to allow yourself to have a romantic relationship. Love is not something that you only deserve after you've gone a certain amount of time without a setback. Remember, relationships take communication, trust, honesty, and patience, and imperfect people work together all the time to strengthen their love for one another.
In this week's episode, our friend Bo Buchi, a licensed clinical mental health counselor, joins us to talk about the psychological and spiritual side effects of pornography. We dig a little deeper into what porn is and why it's so addictive. We discuss how when battling porn, we also need to battle underlying conditions such as pride. Each individual has a different path toward recovery. It's important to follow the direction of the Savior and figure out the path that will lead to complete healing. We also address a couple of questions we've received from listeners. Start listening at (59:00) to hear about cutting the cycle of responding to triggers and how to get more out of group recovery programs.
Try to imagine who you will become once you have fought to overcome this trial. Try to keep that image in your mind during times of discouragement. I believe in you, Savannah believes in you, and most importantly, the Savior believes in you! Don't forget to leave a review and subscribe! Love you guys!
If you have a question or subject you'd like us to address, email us at hayden@istandatthedoor.com and we'll add it to our list! On next week's podcast, our therapist friend will join and help us answer specific questions that we've received from listeners. Whether you are just trying to implement a good habit in your life or your struggling in the fight against pornography, it can be easy to get discouraged by repeated mistakes. In this episode, we talk about ways that we can stay resilient and persistent in the fight. We give scriptural examples such as Peter, Alma the Younger, and Judas to describe the importance of getting back up again each time we have a moment of weakness. We focus on the cycle of progression that allows us to become more like the Savior. Thank you for listening and don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share!
In this episode, we discuss the nature of pornography and how unique it is to our generation. Satan’s weapons are getting more specific and powerful. It’s easier to access pornography today than it ever has been in the past. How do we combat his strategies and strengthen ourselves?We have the biggest, strongest, most powerful weapon at our disposal - the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It’s guaranteed to win. When we keep an open line of communication with the Savior, we invite His help and strength into our recovery. We put ourselves at the side of the Savior and join the army against sin.If you have any questions or subjects that you would like to discuss on this podcast you can reach us at hayden@istandatthedoor.comPlease Subscribe, Share and leave a review!
In this episode, we discuss ways to overcome shame and allow the Savior into our lives. Based on Revelations 3:20, we share a short fictional story that depicts someone deciding whether or not to let the Savior into their house despite the mess. In our experience with pornography, it is shame that acts as a catalyst to the already destructive nature of porn. It is when we seek to hide our sins that Satan prevails and we find ourselves stuck. We share a few insights on the nature of confession and why it is so freeing and necessary in the repentance process. And finally, we invite all to come unto Christ and be healed. Please tune in next week as we further expand the principles that lead to freedom from sin and mark a path to true happiness.
In this episode, we discuss ways to overcome shame and allow the Savior into our lives. Based on Revelations 3:20 we share a short fictional story that depicts someone deciding whether or not to let the Savior into their house despite the mess. In our experience with pornography, it is shame that acts as a catalyst to the already destructive nature of porn. It is when we seek to hide our sins that Satan prevails and we find ourselves stuck. We share a few insights on the nature of confession and why it is so freeing and necessary in the repentance process. And finally, we invite all to come unto Christ and be healed. Please tune in next week as we further expand the principles that lead to freedom from sin and mark a path to true happiness.
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