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Tamara Kirby is a licensed and internationally certified Addictions Therapist who works with people in all stages of recovery.  She offers intensive coaching to those who are just getting started. Then later, deeper dives may be taken to address irrational beliefs, unresolved childhood trauma, relational and financial concerns. In our conversation, Tamar talked about the connection between childhood trauma (which occurs on a spectrum) and addiction.  We can use reparenting today to be able to allow someone else to come into our lives and be in a relationship with us. Tamar shared about recognizing patterns (in relationships) and what is familiar vs. what is healthy. Slowing down when starting new relationships, getting to know the other person first without being physical right away. Getting curious about ourselves and about potential partners. Learning what is going on in our bodies–tuning in to our bodies and recognizing what is happening when certain things come up in relationships. She talks about tending to herself first and not ignoring any aspects of your life. She believes the fuller and more balanced the life, the better the romantic relationships. She also shared about the repairing of her relationship with her daughter, and how she validated her daughter’s experiences when she was drinking and taking responsibility for the things that happened during that time. You can connect with Tamara through her website https://www.tamarakirby.comDid you know my book Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety is available wherever you buy books? This memoir is vulnerable and raw and tells the truth about living sober, parenting, marriage and building a business. 
Tawny is an award-winning podcast host, and the author of The Addiction Diaries and Sex And The Single Woman.  She has positioned herself as The Sober Sexpert through her own learning and story to empower and provide hope for women in recovery. You don't have to loose everything to reevaluation your relationship with alcohol. Tawny made the connection between sexual trauma and the need to have alcohol to have sex. She leaned on her liquid courage to do things she might not normally have done. We spoke about the importance of communicating or saying no if sex in sobriety is uncomfortable or triggering for you. It is important to take it slow and not jump into dating/sex right away. In early sobriety, you’re meeting and learning about yourself for the first time. This includes taking the time to get to know our bodies, not just sexually but in all ways.  There are a lot of ways to get better at communicating our wants and needs. You can connect with Tawny through her podcast Recovery Rocks, on Instagram @TawnyMLara, website www.tawnylara.com.Would you please take one minute to leave a review of this podcast? It really helps other sober women find us so we can spread the message of hope.My memoir Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety has been published. You can get the ebook or paperback wherever you buy your books!
Sarah is the best selling author of Blackout, a memoir. She is also the host of the podcast Texas Monthly about the Dallas, Cowboys cheerleadrs. She is also an expert on gender roles and sexual relationships. Sarah learned after getting sober that sex with one person over a longer period of time is much more enjoyable and meaningful than sex with multiple people. Also, that what we enjoy or are comfortable with in sex can change so much after getting sober, and there are challenges of working through that with a partner. We as humans are constantly evolving and never know what “our truth” might be down the road. Learning how to speak up for ourselves and what we like or are comfortable with is part of the journey.  Gender roles and roles in sexual relationships have changed in the past few decades and now we are able to negotiate them–something we were never taught how to do. Sarah has become comfortable with taking it slow when dating, learning to enjoy her own company but not isolate herself. You can find Sarah on her website,https://sarahhepola.com/ and Instagram @thesarahhepolaexperienceMy new book, Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety is now out in stores. You can pick it up on Amazon or wherever you get your books. 
Ann is the best-selling author of the book Drink, that anonymously interviewed alcoholic women and told their stories.  Some AA members were unhappy with her writing it.  Ann discusses all the different paths, programs, etc. to recovery as well as the stigma and shame with alcoholic women. Ann and I discuss her thoughts on burnout in women and how it can lead to alcoholism, as well as other contributing factors to the rising number of women who are alcoholics.  She describes how society asks the question “What happened to that woman?” instead of “What’s wrong with that woman?” (looking at the trauma behind the addiction). Our discussions leads to all the propaganda and sensationalizing of alcohol/alcoholism with our youth. Normalizing overwhelm and talking about different ways to cope with it. Ann shared how writing is her therapy and keeping gratitude journals–being grateful for all the good and the bad. You can find Ann on her website https://www.anndowsettjohnston.com and her book Drink wherever you buy your books!Other resources mentioned: One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
Clare Pooley realized in 2015 she had to quit drinking, and started a blog by way of therapy. That blog went viral and was published as a memoir - The Sober Diaries. Clare now writes fiction. Her debut novel - The Authenticity Project is a New York Times bestseller and Clare’s second novel is out in June. This conversation is all about the power of connecting with others. After all the opposite of addiction is connection. We talked about her blog-turned-book and how it covers what things look like after you get sober, which is funny because that's exactly what my book, Recovering in Recovery: The Life-Changing Joy of Sobriety is all about. There is tremendous progress made when we commit to emotional sobriety and personal growth. Clare was very nervous about her friendships when she quit drinking because most of her friends drank the same way she did. Some friends drifted away but eventually came back and the friendships had to be redefined–were more meaningful and less toxic.  For her, relationships become deeper when she found new/varied ways to socialize. She rediscovered things about herself in sobriety. The main reason she quit drinking was for her kids–felt like she missed out on a lot because of alcohol and she was a better, more present mom when she quit. You can find Clare on her website www.clarepooley.com or Instagram @clare_pooley , Twitter, or Facebook page (SoberMummy).If you aren't a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over and join us. Would you please leave a review of this podcast below? It only takes 2 minutes and would mean the world to me. Thank you.
Brianne Davis is a powerhouse female in the entertainment industry in both film and television. She has over 12 years of recovery as a Sex and Love Addict, and hosts the popular personal journal podcast “Secret Life.” Her debut novel, “Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex & Love Addict,” hit the best-sellers list on Amazon earlier this year.Brianne and I talk about emotional addiction–getting drunk on the chemical reactions that happen in your brain in certain situations/with people. We know that childhood trauma contributes to these triggers and addictions and you can be addicted to a person/people. Brianna talks about her experience with emotional incest: when a parent rapes a child of their energy. We discuss setting and sticking to healthy boundaries in relationships and other areas of our lives. She would drain people of all their energy trying to get her needs met.  If you want to dive more into boundaries check out my course Creating Healthy Boundaries! Click the link for more information.When you’re in recovery of any kind, you have to wake up every day and recommit. This requires doing the inner work to figure out how you want people to show up for you.  You can connect with Brianne on Instagram (@thebriannedavis @secretlifenovel @secretlifepodcast), website, podcast, TikTok @the.briannedavisIf you aren't in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group that is the best place for you to grow confidence and emotional sobriety! Come on over.And could you take a minute to leave a rating and a review of this podcast? It helps so much to get the word out to other women who want to grow their lives beyond recovery.Resources mentioned: 40 SLAA Self Diagnose QuestionnaireThe You You’ve Never Met by Dr. Andrea VitzBrianne’s book Secret Life of a Hollywood Sex and Love Addict
Tara talks about the challenges of going back to reality after being in a program where someone else cares for you/dictates everything you do.  There were difficulties in relationships sometimes her demanding too much or not pulling her own weight. Her primary relationship was with alcohol. Alcoholism is a love affair with alcohol. Tara sought out relationships with people with similar wounds (trauma bonding) to try and heal them together. Her desire was to be in an enmeshed romantic relationship while at the same time she struggled with fear of rejection and being controlled. Alcohol became an alibi for poor behavior in relationships. Relationships were hard to navigate in recovery because she was always looking for someone to fix her. She tried to be someone she wasn’t when she was drinking–realized that that person wasn’t really who she was. Had to relearn skills in relationships. We talk about healthy relationships consisting of two people being individuals as opposed to being completely enmeshed and co-dependent. There is a lot of learning to regulate and express emotions in relationships as well as recognize anxious thoughts about the other person that may not be facts. You can listen to Tara's interactive memoir via the podcast Addicted To Recovery here addictedtorecovery.ca.  Or on Facebook https:// www.facebook.com/tara.nicole.boyce If you aren't a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, come on over and join us. It is a FREE private group for sober women looking to grow their emotional sobriety and build the confidence they need to love their lives beyond recovery.And would you please take 2 minutes to leave a rating and review? It really does mean the world to me plus it helps to get this podcast out to even more sober women.  Thank you so much.
When Laura got sober she had to change the way she socialized and her circle of friends. She realized who were drinking buddies and who were true friends. It took her about a year to start socializing alcohol free. She was in a season where she was going to lots of weddings, many of which didn’t have beverage options for non-drinkers. She started to ask ahead of time if there would be options and people were always willing to accommodate–don’t be afraid to ask! For smaller social gatherings bring your own beverage. Things like “Dry January” give people a socially acceptable reason to take a break from drinking. There are many reasons for people not to want to drink, hopefully, there continues to be an increase in non-alcoholic options at events. First-year of Covid gave people the opportunity to explore sober curiosity since they weren’t going out. There are so many options today for people who want to get sober or quit drinking. Alcohol-free drinks can be triggering for those in recovery, but a great option for sober curious people. Laura created Zero Proof Nation–a resource hub/directory of anything non-alcoholic, zero-proof, low ABV (alcohol by volume). You can find Laura on Instagram @Wearesober.Show mentioned: Single Drunk Female on Hulu Come join me and a bunch of other sober women in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, that's where all the good stuff happens. And If you can take 2 minutes to leave a rating and review for this podcast it would mean a lot!!
Faye didn’t realize that there were people who just don’t drink because they don’t want/like to (not because they’re in recovery). But it's true. On thing we know for sure is alcohol stunts emotional maturity at age you start drinking. Once you’re out of early sobriety (around a year) you start doing more work in growing and making changes–in thinking patterns, socializing, recognizing who are supportive vs. toxic people in our lives, developing strategies for day to day living. It takes work to relearn and reparent ourselves, this is a huge part of emotional sobriety. Friendships change and some are not able to transition. Very often we find there is a grieving period for many people, grieving their old lives. We discussed alcohol-free products and how they can be triggering for people in recovery but great for grey area drinkers/sober curious people, especially for social situations. We are hardwired to be social and connect with other people and social anxiety also plays a role. It’s important to be able to socialize without alcohol. Faye created Untoxicated a group for anyone who wants to socialize without alcohol. You can learn more about it on their website, https://untoxicated.com.au/  or https://www.facebook.com/untoxicatedaus,  on on Instagram @untoxicated_aus.If you aren't in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over and join us. We are a group of like minded women doing the work to grow. Oh and if you like this podcast can you please leave a rating and review, it really helps us spread the word.
Courtney is a woman in recovery, a Sober Coach, podcast host and super fun.  She is also a wife and cat mom to Fiona.  Courtney believes in keeping many different tools in our toolbox for when life gets hard/uncomfortable. She worked in the restaurant industry before getting sober and would have anxiety and panic attacks when going out with her husband on weekend nights. Until she came up with “60 minute rule” for going out for social events. A lot of anxiety rises to the surface when you get sober, but you don’t get sober to completely stop participating in social events. We shared about how friendships change/evolve. You lose some friends and gain others. Friends are not being offensive when they ask if it’s okay to drink in front of you–they are respecting you. Their social life is one of the main reasons people don’t quit drinking , “What will my friends say?” But what if your friend(s) has a problem, too and needs that encouragement? You might be their introduction to recovery. When you’re drinking, your world is limited–when you become sober, your world grows. You can have fun without alcohol, alcohol is just a crutch for many people. Courtney is a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group so you can connect with her there. You can also find her at http://courtneyrecovered.com and on Instagram @sober.vibes.  If you enjoyed this conversation do me a favor and leave a rating and review! It really helps other sober women find us.
Tammi is a sober, dignified, creative woman whose journey in sobriety began in 2015. Tammi started exploring creativity the year before she got sober, but it was after she got sober that she really dived into the creative world and even went back to college to major in Art. She shares how she incorporated her story of recovery into many parts of her schooling, and we discuss how creativity such as writing or creating art can help aid recovery. Tammi talks about her struggle to continue with the same kind of active social life she had before she got sober, and we discuss the beauty of forming friendships and building connections with other people in recovery. We also talk about preparing and setting boundaries for ourselves at social events, and how vital it is for our comfort and enjoyment when we choose to participate in those activities. You can find Tammi on Instagram @tammisalas or on her website https://www.tammisalas.com/.Tammi is a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group so you can certainly connect with her there as well.  If you aren't in the group come on over.Are you enjoying this podcast? Please leave a review it helps other women find us and connect!!
Claudia is an actress, speaker, author and Sinclair Method advocate. She is also a woman in long term sobriety who found freedom through the use of harm reduction.Claudia started out as a normal social drinker but turned into a binge drinker and realized she had a problem.  She went through many different programs and tried all different kinds of therapies and treatments, but her cravings remained debilitating. In 2009 went through medical detox that used the Sinclair Method–taking the opiate blocker Naltrexone before drinking alcohol to block reinforcement in the brain and decrease desire to drink alcohol. Three months into the Sinclair Method she completely forgot about alcohol. Used it for “harm reduction” and continued to drink occasionally for the first nine years before she decided to use it to get sober. We discuss the monetization of addiction in America (the revolving door model–people perpetually going through expensive treatment programs and then relapsing), and how the low cost of the generic drug Naltrexone is not lucrative for Big Pharma. We share how having a sense of “emotional sobriety”--keeping the joy within us even when things in life get hard is critical.  Being sober means being present with our emotions and being able to better heal from loss. You can find Claudia at C 3 Foundation or email her at  claudia.christian@cthreefoundation.org.Claudia made a documentary: One Little Pill on Amazon- website: onelittlepillmovie.com If you aren't in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over and join us its free and a great place to learn about emotional sobriety and building confidence beyond recovery.Will you do me a favor and leave a rating and review for the podcast. It really does help other women find us!! Thank you so much.
Well hey there ladies!!  Today it's just me!! I am sharing with you what it really means to be responsibility for your life. The emotional accountability we need to have true joy.I mentioned in the episode a Special Event I am hosting right in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group,  Healing Your Shame Through Reparenting. An interactive workshop to discuss how to recognize your shame and begin moving past it. Join me live!It’s time to stop blaming others for your bad experiences, for your failures and sufferings. You become truly free when you learn to take personal responsibility for all of your choices.Today I am sharing with you my 5 ways to take responsibility for your life that you can implement today. You are the only one who can take care of it!And the Sober Freedom Transformation was mentioned in the episode and it is a great next step for taking control of your life.  Click the link to get more details. And reach out if you have questions.Hey if you are enjoying the podcast can you please leave a rating and review. It really helps others to find us!If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, come on over. Its a great private group of women who are growing in their emotional sobriety.
Jo Harvey Weatherford is a speaker, educator, and advocate for all things sobriety.Jo grew up in a family of alcoholics, was an alcoholic by age 12. Was in and out of jail, multiple suicide attempts, went to many treatment centers and did AA but never felt like she could trust anyone in the programs she was in. We talk about the difference between knowledge vs. action. Being “in denial” is really knowing something is going on but not wanting/being able to make changes. This is where our personal responsibility and ownership come in.  There is a difference between fault and responsibility. It is critical to find the balance between recognizing that what happened to you is not our fault and being responsible for healing from it.  Healing cannot take place when you are stuck in victim consciousness. You must allow yourself to mourn and grieve, then start the process of acceptance and healing. Finding the beauty in everything (tragedies, addiction, etc.). You can learn more about Jo at https://www.joweatherford.com or on Instagram @jo.weatherford or Facebook @joweatherfordcommunityIf you are enjoying this podcast will you please leave a rating and review, it really helps other women find us!!  The Confident Sober Women Facebook group is a free and private group to support sober women who want to build emotional sobriety! Come join us.
Amy Louise Cash suffered a very traumatic experience as a teenager that eventually led her to turn to alcohol and drugs. She used drugs and alcohol to gain confidence to talk to men, yet struggled in relationships with men and fear. Amy struggled with self-worth. Realized she was using alcohol as coping mechanism, gave up alcohol and realized she wanted a relationship. Any found there is a healthy masculine energy within us as women that we need to connect with and rely on to make us feel safe as opposed to seeking that solely from relationships with men.Communication is key in relationships- discussing with our partners whether we still hold the same values/are still in alignment. You can find Amy on her website www.withamylouisecash.com or on Instagram @Amylouisecash.  If you like what you hear on this show please rate and leave a review it helps to let others know we are here.
Karla McLaren is an author and social science researcher who developed an approach to emotional health called Dynamic Emotional Integration.Karla endured trauma in her childhood and, while drowning in an ocean of emotion, began to inquire more about her emotions and the emotions of others. There are 17 emotions, each emotion brings healing in its own way. She shares how empathy is an emotional skill. Shame can be a used for good when it comes from within as it helps us to understand who was hurt and how to make it right.  We also highlight the importance of learning how to set boundaries in order to build self-confidence.You can find Karla at https://karlamclaren.com/ and on social media @KarlaMcLarenAuthor. If you aren't a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, come on over and join us. Its a FREE group for sober women who want to build confidence through emotional sobriety.If you liked what we shared here please leave a rating and review so other sober women can find us!Resources mentioned: Book: Why Won’t You Apologize by Harriet LernerBook: The Power Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
Deb Masner was a grey area drinker with two young kids and working as a nurse. Alcohol became the thing she couldn’t manage. She turned her drinking and recovery experience into a group program called The Alcohol Tipping Point. She now helps people practice not drinking.Deb shared how alcohol and herself were the problem. She had to go through the process of marrying the two. She believes we have to keep practicing with our drinking and using that as your guidance in an effort to reduce the shame that can come around drinking.We talked about the challenges of the medical professionals around problem drinking making it more of a moderation situation. As well as our negative thinking patterns and how to inventory them in an effort to make changes. She specifically likes to focus on the positive parts of not drinking.You can connect with Deb on her website https://www.alcoholtippingpoint.com as well as on Instagram @alocholtippingpoint. Deb is also a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group so you can connect with her there as well.If you like what you are hearing please leave a rating and a review so other sober women can find us, we really appreciate it.Resources mentioned: Book, Quit Like A Woman, by Holly WhitakerPodcast, The Huberman Lab, https://hubermanlab.com/ 
Sarah is a Certified Health Coach, author, and talk show host. She got sober nearly 20 years ago at the age of 29, and early on in her sobriety journey she found herself replacing an alcohol addiction with a sugar addiction. Sarah discusses the importance of maintaining our holistic health in sobriety—something she feels is not talked about enough. Sarah cultivated a concept around the “human animal”—seeing ourselves as physiological beings with five simple needs that, if met, will allow us all to thrive in our own lives. We discuss identities and labels, and she shares why she no longer identifies herself as “an alcoholic” but rather as a “dignified sober woman.” We also talk about trusting ourselves and aligning who we are with who we want to be with the actions that we take. Sarah is a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook Group so you can connect with her there. You can also find Sarah on Instagram @sarahtalksfood, read her blog at www.sarahtalksfood.com, or visit her coaching website at www.obaatcoaching.com. If you’re interested in purchasing a copy of Mel Robbins’ book The 5 Second Rule that was referenced in this episode, you can find it here. If you enjoyed this episode please leave us a review so others can find the support we offer.
Katie Henson is a woman in long term sobriety, a mental health therapist and an expert on sleep. She did a guest expert training for the women in my Sober Freedom Inner Circle so I thought I would share it with you here during our physical health month.She shares her experience working with young people as well as veterans around problems with sleep. Katie also uses the power of humor and sarcasm to lighten the mood to help relax and prepare for a restful night.Katie is a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group so you can connect with her there as well as on her website https://www.backstorycounseling.com/.If you like what you are hearing on the Confident Sober Women podcast please leave us a rating and review it really helps other sober women to find us and the hope in building emotional sobriety.
Terri got sober and found herself with a lot more time and energy. She found her passion in nutrition, went back to school and was surprised how little alcohol was being discussed in her profession. She became a This Naked Mind Support Coach to support sober women in the nutrition realm.Terri shared about the physical symptoms she had when she was drinking because she didn’t realize how much of an impact alcohol was having on her. She shared the steps she took to improve her health by learning what healthy meant to her. Terri shared the meaning of nutrient dense whole foods and using that as a guide to understand what eating healthy looks like for each individual. And she gives you three practical tools you can start using right now to check in with where your health is now and align it with where you want to go.You can connect with Terri in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group or at Thesobernutritionist.com  or on Instagram @terri.thesobernutritionist and she also has a podcast call The Sober Edge.If you aren't in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over and join us, that is where all the golden nuggets are shared.  And if you are loving this podcast, do us a favor and leave a review. It helps to let other sober women know what we are doing!
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