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Confident Sober Women

Author: Shelby

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My name is Shelby John and July 1, 2002 was the first day of my second life! And I haven’t found it necessary to take a drink or a drug since! My sobriety has given me the freedom to dedicate my life to helping others as a clinical social worker specializing in trauma. In this podcast you will hear real life talk about building confidence and transforming your life beyond recovery!
24 Episodes
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You have heard me talk and share in the Confident Sober Women Facebook group quite a bit about to how you start your day.  But how you end your day is just as important!Building emotional sobriety means you must radically transform your daily routines in order to get healthier sleep, have more energy and a clearer mind.  This means establishing a sustainable evening routine you can count on or what I call sleep hygiene. In this episode I share 4 practical steps you can put in place starting tonight to set the tone for your evening and prepare you for sleep.Creating a comprehensive evening routine takes more time,practice and guidance. But when you break it down into tiny pieces, that are very manageable and easy to commit to starting today, then slowly but surely over time you get big change. Of course if you are a real go getter and you want to jump head first into it that’s what the members in the Sober Freedom Inner Circle do. And they get the benefit of coaching from me once a month plus support from each other. 
Shauna Cummins is a hypnotherapist, published author and a sober woman. She has a unique way of sharing how to release the shame we carry to make changes and support ourselves.In our conversation she shares a concept called self-collaboration and couples it with a simple practice you can start doing tonight and every day to support yourself.  We dig up some real golden nuggets together and I can't wait to get her book Wish Craft.You can find her on Instagram @TheWishCraft or at wishcraft.shaunacummins.com.Are you part of the Confident Sober Woman Facebook group? It is a wonderful place to meet other sober women walking the path and building emotional sobriety. I share a ton of information re how to do that and support each of you along the way.And if you are ready for more, ready to take your recovery from good to AMAZING, the Sober Freedom Inner Circle is your next step. In here were spend more time on how to build sustainable habits and routines as well as eliminating negative thought patters, discovering personal core values and connecting with a higher purpose.AND every month I do group coaching with the members to answer questions and support you in the journey AND I host a guest expert, another sober therapist to do monthly trainings on topics that support "the work".  This week I am hosting Mandy Friedman,LPCC-S CCDVC, called Identifying Healthy Relationships and Healthy People. Mandy specializes in helping people recover and strive for healing and healthier relationships. She teaches a series called SNAP Survivors of Narcissistic & Abusive Personalities, an educational recovery program for survivors of physical and psychological abuse. The program is used as a basis for treatment, education, risk assessment and structured recovery.In March I invited Rose King, called All Things Self: Going From Surviving To Thriving Through Building A Relationship To Yourself. Rose calls herself an Integrative Holistic Life Coach because her methods involve treating all components of the self - mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Using my comprehensive diverse background, she integrates techniques based on the needs of each individual including multiple psychology modalities, coaching, mindfulness, mind-body awareness, energy work, philosophy, and more. There is incredible  opportunity in the Sober Freedom Inner Circle to meet other hard working sober women and dive into the practical tools we can use to heal our past, feel content in our present and build a future we don't want to escape from!
If you have been sober for a little while or are curiously exploring your options, The Bubble Hour Podcast is a place you need to be! Jean McCarthy brings the heat with people walking the walk every sing week!Today we share stories of our own sober journeys with a special focus daily habits and routines we use to support and care for ourselves.  Jean calls them comforts. AND she offers some ideas I had never thought of before.Sit back and enjoy, this episode is longer than our usual recordings but very worth it!  If you want to learn more about Jean you can find her at https://jeanmccarthy.ca/Transforming daily habits and routines so that you can build a better relationship with yourself, have healthy boundaries and have the confidence to let go of anything that no longer serves you is HUGE recovery work. And exactly what we do in the Sober Freedom Inner Circle. When you join you will have access to the most amazing content but better than that the support of me, the other women in there and the guest experts that come in every month.  All for less than a dinner out of a new pair of shoes.  Still unsure? Give it a try of 1/2 off the first month. Use the code HALFOFF2021 at checkout. If you aren't part of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over and join us.
Do you struggle to even get up in time to get where you need to be let alone budget in extra time to do things like have quiet time, journal, meditate, pray or exercise.  Today we are talking about mastering your morning routine, one tiny thing at at time. Sustainable change only happens when we do the same things every day consistently over time. Productivity experts agree that how we begin our day has a HUGE impact on how the rest of our day goes. Maybe you have a good morning routine, maybe you roll your eyes when people talk about it. Either way today I give you 4 super simple practical ways to make a difference and al you have to do is choose one!Transforming daily habits and routines is a big part of building confidence, improving relationships, learning to love yourself and feeling good about your physical health. If you are ready for more, join the Sober Freedom Inner Circle today. This is where the magic happens of building a life you don't want to escape from beyond just staying sober! And hey if you want to hang out with some pretty awesome sober women and learn more from me, the Confident Sober Women Facebook group is a great place to be.
Perhaps there are things you are still doing or saying that just don’t feel right for you.  They aren’t aligned with who you are or want to be. Maybe your family raised you in a certain beliefs and they were ALL in, but even looking back as a child you never really identified with it or fit in and now you are struggling to figure out what your beliefs are or how to practice them.The developmental task of growing up is to figure out who you are separate from your parents, what you believe in, what are your core values, where do you get your purpose from on separate from how you were raised.This is kind of Like our tastes in foods we all have different views on life. We see things through the lens of our own experiences. Whether that means you want to break away and run or take some and leave the rest, its important to figure out who you are, what your beliefs are and begin to align your decision making with them.  One way of exploring this is through habits.In this episode we begin to explore our daily routines and habits by taking an inventory of a typical day looking for those things we do regularly or things we don’t do.  If you are ready to really do the work of transforming your daily habits and routines, join the Sober Freedom Inner Circle Membership today!If you could use a community of other sober women join the Confident Sober Women Facebook group! 
This is a special episode from one of my Sober Freedom Inner Circle Guest Expert Trainers, Michelle Taylor at Perfectly Imperfect Counseling.  Michelle uses Gottman techniques with couples, learning the tools to have effective communication and repair. And with individuals, she focuses on Brene Brown techniques of vulnerability, compassion, and shame stopping. Michelle is a direct, goal-oriented therapist and an avid traveler, She loves golfing, sports, mowing the lawn, and staying active. Now-a-days, Michelle runs Perfectly Imperfectly Counseling, Co. from her She Shed at home in Los Angeles or from her RV, travelling across the country with her two dogs and partner. Online counseling is flexible for her and also for all of her clients!She has an inspirational story of getting and staying sober as well as learning to trust herself.  You can reach her on her website Perfectly Imperfect Counseling.  And hear the rest of her training in the Sober Freedom Inner Circle.I was recently interviewed by Jean at The Bubble Hour podcast, a refreshing resource for those of us living a sober lifestyle. If you want to hear that episode you can click here or find The Bubble Hour wherever you listen to podcasts. If you aren't a member of the Confident Sober Women Facebook group, come on over. Its a great community of sober women doing the work of building confidence beyond recovery.
The FREE 5-Day Understanding Your Negative Thoughts Challenge is happening January 25-29! Click here to register today!The last few weeks of the year I spent time with myself considering what I wanted for this upcoming year, what needed to change what would stay the same and I decided to finally give in to the urge I have had for a long time to take an adult hip hop class.  It was so fun.The thing I have been focused on is the girl rappers messaging.  It’s the distorted notion that as a woman you can trade sex for money and get power, this is how you get respect, how you have a relationship. Really? The message from the girl rappers is you want me, you pay me. Literally.Today we are taking a look at this and talking about how we actually get our power.Last week I had the privilege of joining jean at The Bubble Hour podcast for a lovely conversation about recovery and healing and the response has been overwhelming.  You can check it out to hear more of my story.If you are a member of my Confident Sober Women Facebook group come on over. It's a great opportunity to learn more about emotional sobriety and building confidence beyond recovery.
With the turn of the calendar its easy to be delusioned by thoughts that things will be very different.  But sometimes it feels like the hits just keep on coming right.  That’s kind of how things went for us the last few weeks of 2020 with my oldest daughter’s driving.  If you got my email today you heard this story but I’ll share it here anyway.  My oldest daughter, Grace got her license about a month ago. And let me just tell you this is #WorryAtAWholeNewLevel.  I am going to share with you the stories of what has gone, how easily it is to get sucked up in the negative thoughts that come during these experiences and then what we can do about it!If you want to do some more work on your negative thinking patterns join me and a bunch of other sober women for the FREE 5-Day Understanding Negative Thoughts Challenge January 25-29.  And in just 15 minutes a day of private work plus daily LIVE's with me for questions and support you will begin to see how these thought patterns are limiting your life in sobriety and preventing you from having the confidence and JOY you need to love your life beyond recovery. If you are longing for deeper connections with like minded women and want to learn more about building emotional sobriety join my Facebook Group Confident Sober Women.In case you didn't know the Sober Freedom Inner Circle Membership is open for members.  Get all the information you need about what we do, how we support and how your life will change through membership. 
We are what we think! And our thoughts generate energy and can move us forward or keep us in the darkest places of our live!  Go with me while I geek out a little on some brain chemistry and share with you my what's coming up in a couple weeks.The FREE 5-Day Understanding Your Negative Thoughts challenge, doing the work so you can love your life beyond recovery.  You can register for that challenge right now! And grab a sober friend to join you.  All the information you need is right on this link!And if you could use some support in the way of getting your shopping done for you, then literally you need what's been saving my life since even before the pandemic...INSTACART!  Seriously guys, if you are a busy family like me or heck if you you are a single woman who just doesn't want to spend your time commuting back and forth to the store and grocery shopping, then Instacart is for you!And now you can enjoy FREE Delivery on your first order.  Just use this Instacart link to get started today!If you are a lover of Walmart and you live in select areas of the country Instacart is doing a very special promo with Walmart. You will get $20 off your Walmart order w/Instacart when you use the code NEWYEAR2021 and this link.Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast and hey if you like it leave a review! That way more sober women will be able to hear it as well!If you aren't a member of the Confident Sober Women fee and private Facebook group, come on over. We are a group of sober women doing this thing called life!**This post contains affiliate links, and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.Episode is ScheduledPublish: Jan. 06, 2021 @ 6AM Edit(GMT-05:00) Eastern Time (US & Canada)Publish NowAdd a TranscriptGet episode better indexed by search engines.Add Chapter MarkersListeners can tap through & see what’s coming up.Create a Visual SoundbiteBest way to share to social media for engagement.Share Episode OnFacebookTwitterLinkedInMore OptionsEmail Link to Episode CopyDirect Link to MP3 Copy Download MP3Embed this ONE Episode
2020 is what's on everyone's minds lately and the idea of kicking it to the curb and starting fresh with 2021.  Of course a new year does mean a great opportunity to reflect on the year that just passed ask yourself what went well and what didn't, choose a word and consider new habits or way of living to test out in the next 12 months.However, in reality we know that nothing much dramatic will change this month.If you didn't get my email today sharing my thoughts about the year, this episode and my word for 2021 head over to join my e-mail list and don't miss another thing.  You can do that with this link and also learn the Top 3 Things Sober Women Need To Build Confidence Beyond Recovery.Today I am sharing with you a few of the things I learned this year and what's been saving my life since even before the pandemic...INSTACART!  Seriously guys, if you are a busy family like me or heck if you you are a single woman who just doesn't want to spend your time commuting back and forth to the store and grocery shopping, then Instacart is for you!And now you can enjoy FREE Delivery on your first order.  Just use this Instacart link to get started today! If you are a lover of Walmart and you live in select areas of the country Instacart is doing a very special promo with Walmart. You will get $20 off your Walmart order w/Instacart when you use the code NEWYEAR2021 and this link.Don't forget to subscribe to this podcast and hey if you like it leave a review! That way more sober women will be able to hear it as well!If you are ready to dive feet first into the business of gaining confidence beyond recovery with a community of sober women doing the same thing? The Sober Freedom Inner Circle Membership is ready to meet you right where you are.  Check it out www.shelbyjohncoaching.com/innercircle! **This post contains affiliate links, and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links.
With this week being a strange time between the holidays, people are off work, kids are off school I wanted to do something a little different.So what could be better than having a chat with another sober woman!  Shannon is a member of my Confident Sober Women Facebook Group, and has been sober over 18 months.  She shares how she knew it was her time and the support she has gotten from her kids and community.We also talked about amazing mocktails you can learn to make using The Mindful Mocktail.  We talked about the struggle of negative thoughts after we have gotten sober and being gentle with yourself.  Be on the lookout for a 5-day challenge in January - Understanding Your Negative Thinking Patterns. 
Did you know identifying your values increases your confidence?  Wait what? Haven’t you seen the poster saying something like this in your office.  Oh or did your HR department mention it in your orientation.Probably yes to both as this is heavily used in the business world to create mission, vision and take a stand on what is important to the company.But you have never heard it talked about on a personal level.In this episode we identify what personal core values are, why they are important and how to discovery them.If you aren't part of my private Facebook Group, come on over and join us: www.facebook.com/group/confidentsoberwomenIf you are ready to discovery how to discover your personal core values and become the stronger, more confident version of yourself beyond recovery, the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership is the place for you.  And right now I am running a Black Friday/Cyber Monday Promotion with 4 extra bonuses!!!: www.shelbyjohncoaching.com/blackfridayDon't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you won't miss one episode and leave a review. I really appreciate it.
Today I am telling you, just say NO! It’s time to make yourself and your needs a priority! Why is this even something I have to say, and in fact I say it so often it makes me wonder all the time how did we get off the track so much in this society.Who told us we have to do it all, be it all, cook it all, buy it all, meet all the demands of work, family, etc.  For what price?  What benefit is worth stringing yourself out so much that you are sleep deprived, your bank account is empty and you have resentments piled as high as your vaulted ceilings.Learning how to build healthy boundaries and most especially during this potentially most busy time of the year will bring you inner peace and build confidence. Stop explaining yourself. If you aren't paris is a great first step in learning how to build healthy boundaries and most especially dut of my private Facebook Group, come on over and join us: www.facebook.com/group/confidentsoberwomenIf you are ready to discovery how to discover your personal core values and become the stronger, more confident version of yourself beyond recovery, the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership is the place for you. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you won't miss one episode and leave a review. I really appreciate it.
Dirty 3 Letter G Word

Dirty 3 Letter G Word

2020-12-1613:03

So it’s a timely discussion for sure as we are deep into the holiday season that means many things to many people.  So I want you to just open your ears and your heart and go with me while we break down the three letter G word.Let me ask you, Do you hate religion? Have you struggled with recovery because of the G word? You aren’t alone.  Tons of recovering women have struggled with concepts around the spiritual program since the creation of AA in 1935.I would even take a chance and say as many women have gotten sober as those who have gotten drunk, because of a higher power. Am I right?And if you don't get anything else from this episode I want you to walk away with the fact that religion is not the same thing as spirituality.We go into much greater detail about harnessing the energy from  source outside yourself in the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership.  I share with you different spiritual philosophies and some ideas about how to come to your own understanding.  If you would like to learn more about the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership click here!Hey come on over to the Confident Sober Women Facebook group! It's a great group of like minded women discovering how to build confidence beyond recovery! Join us.
This off the cuff episode was unexpected and raw. I share how one by one the traditions of this season have been take away.  Last week I was filled with profound sadness but the lightbulb went off and I was able to find peace in new traditions.In life it's not the challenges that shape us its how we pivot every time they come. What traditions have you lost this season that are brining you down?  How can you pivot from here and find joy in the change. We go into much greater detail about reversing the negative thought patterns that hold you back in the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership.  If you would like to learn more about the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership click here!Hey come on over to the Confident Sober Women Facebook group! It's a great group of like minded women discovering how to build confidence beyond recovery! Join us.
The holiday season is a time of joy, peace, spirituality and generosity.  For family and friends to come together and share meals, gifts and laughs together.  #ILoveChristmas and Blowing kiss emoji. (Sarcasm much)But often there are a ton of FEELINGS at this time of year.Grief is a delicate topic and today I have a very special episode for you.  It’s a little bit longer than our normal episodes because I am sharing the training.  And for some reason the audio was cutting in and out at some places because her wifi was glitchy so please bear with us . This is a training done by colleague Staci Minz for my Sober Freedom Inner Circle members.  Every month I bring in a special guest to train my members on a specific topic.  I share the first part of the training here on the podcast and save the juicy stuff for the members. If you would like to learn more about the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership click here!Hey come on over to the Confident Sober Women Facebook group! It's a great group of like minded women discovering how to build confidence beyond recovery! Join us.
Today I want to share a bit about what recovery programs have to say about gratitude, share an inspiring spiritual message with you and offer up some super practical things you can do TODAY to express your gratitude.  I have been taught and truly believe We are called to be Thankful in all things no matter our circumstances. You may be saying, Really in ALL circumstances.  But what about sickness, pain, loss, disappointment, failure.  How can we be grateful in those times.And Nothing is faster at changing negative thoughts, reducing anxiety and building self confidence then gratitude and service.  That’s what I want to talk about today.If you aren't part of my private Facebook Group, come on over and join us: www.facebook.com/group/confidentsoberwomenBLACK FRIDAY/CYBER MONDAY BONUSES!!!  If you are ready to discovery how how healthy sleep will help you become the stronger, more confident version of yourself beyond recovery, the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership is the place for you!  And now more than ever because you get FOUR extra bonuses with the Black Friday Promo: www.shelbyjohncoaching.com/blackfridayDon't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you won't miss one episode and leave a review. I really appreciate it.
With 72% of people in recovery saying that struggle with sleep even well beyond getting sober, this is a pretty important topic.So if you are one of these statistics you aren’t alone, but have no fear! there are natural solutions related to emotional sobriety but also the reduction of anxiety and stress that deeply affects sleep. One thing for sure is you must radically transform your daily routines in order to get healthier sleep, have more energy and a clearer mind.Because insomnia in recovery can lead to a series of negative side effects In this episode I share the 5 ways to create healthy sleep that I teach women in recovery but we will focus on the first one Creating A Sleep Sanctuary!If you aren't part of my private Facebook Group, come on over and join us: www.facebook.com/group/confidentsoberwomenIf you are ready to discovery how how healthy sleep will help you become the stronger, more confident version of yourself beyond recovery, the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership is the place for you: www.shelbyjohncoaching.com/innercircleDon't forget to subscribe to the podcast so you won't miss one episode and leave a review. I really appreciate it.
When you hear the word meditation what do you think? Did you just roll your eyes? Are you like really, another person talking about meditation? Ugh.I totally get it and I was there to for most of my life and frankly still can be when I am not spiritually and physically fit!  But go with me!Today I am so excited to talk to you about meditation, but not the kind you are thinking of. A more active form of meditation for all of us ADD sober people out there who think its impossible to sit quietly for more than 10 seconds!To learn more about meditation, spirituality and harnessing the energy from a source outside yourself join the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership.Need more sober women in your life to support your journey? Come join our free Facebook Group Confident Sober Women.Don't forget to hit subscribe above and leave a review it really does help.
Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts have energy.  So if you are only having negative thoughts, chances are everything in your life is going to seem...well...negative.  And ladies, that’s no way to live! You want you to be happy, healthy, less afraid and confident.Before you are able to change those negative thoughts, you first have to be able to recognize them.  How do you do that you ask??! Listen up….that’s what I am sharing today.When you are going about you day and something happens, you most likely almost always have the same response.  You might say things like……..“Why does this always happen?”…..”I am always making mistakes”…..”I won’t be successful, I never have been”…..”I can’t possibly go to that event my anxiety would kill me”Eliminating negative thinking patterns is a huge part of developing emotional sobriety and confidence beyond recovery.  It is so important it is the entire first section of the Sober Freedom Inner Circle membership program.  If you want to learn more click here.  And if you aren't part of my free Facebook Group, Confident Sober Women, come on over and join us.  If you like what you are hearing, be sure to subscribe above so you don't miss an episode.  And leave a review, it will help other sober women find us!
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