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MarsCorp

Author: Definitely Human

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***Help get MarsCorp season 2 made at www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman***


From the creators of The Bunker podcast - MarsCorp is a 12-part scripted comedy podcast about Station Supervisor E.L. Hob’s first year at MarsCorp, a terraforming colony established on the red planet in 2070. You can support MarsCorp and Definitely Human by becoming a patron of the show. Your donations will go towards the production of new special episodes, other extra content and hopefully Season 2 www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman

31 Episodes
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Welcome to MarsCorp! You might feel disorientated at first, being 140 million miles from Earth, but there’s no need to panic. As soon as you recover from your journey in suspended animation and get to know your new state of the art MarsCorp home you’ll soon feel totally comfortable and able to progress with your task on the MarsCorp terraforming mission. Please take time to familiarise yourself with the MarsCorp departments and your fellow workers. In the event of non-clarity about your designated tasks, please contact the base manager. For more information visit marscorppodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A healthy MarsCorp employee is a happy and productive MarsCorp employee, that’s why we make sure our human capital is fed with the finest synthetogenetic meat, with the Meat Master 5000 meat production facility ensuring there is a constant, abundant supply of meaty goodness. Warning: For those working in the meat production facility, DO NOT allow any foreign DNA to enter the system. In the event of contamination, please contact the base manager.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The cornerstone of the MarsCorp terraforming mission is teamwork, so it is essential that department heads work closely and effectively with MarsCorp team members. Managers must ensure instructions are clear and understandable, and from this, synergistic interaction between employees to effectively carry out goal oriented tasks will follow. Nowhere is this more important than in the terraforming department due to the presence of volatile, advanced biological agents. In the event of unintended release of said agents, please contact the base manager.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We here at MarsCorp recognise that life isn’t just about work, even when it’s as important as our terraforming mission. ‘Down time’ is also vital, as it allows employees to mingle in an non-work environment, which in turn allows them to perform better in the work environment. To this ends, MarsCorp allocates an appropriate amount of company materials for non-work employee activities. Release of materials will be controlled by the Resources department. In the event of resource scarcity for non-work activities, please do not contact the base manager.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The greater MarsCorp family features many units, and in order to achieve success these units must cooperate to establish synergistic partnerships. The most complex of these partnerships is between the main MarsCorp main base and the mining outpost, which will extract raw materials from the planet for use in the terraforming mission. Alignment between mining operations and main base operations will be realised as long as the goal of terraforming remains priority and both parties understand each other’s roles. In the event of non-understanding of roles, please inform the base manager.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
MarsCorp supports and encourages close working between MarsCorp employees - but strong relationships require strong boundaries. To ensure a harmonious working environment that will maximise employee output, any and all romantic objectives must be acted on only through the MarsCorp employee co-bonding database, which will ensure minimal confrontation in any relationship and maximal physical and emotional pleasure. In the event of not achieving maximal physical and emotional pleasure, please do not contact the base manager.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The MarsCorp base is at the cutting edge of extraterrestrial long-term dwelling. The combination of the most advanced AI and robotic systems will allow the colony to thrive as the human capital progresses with the terraforming mission. All systems have undergone rigorous testing, with a less than 0.001% chance of failing to execute primary functions - such as oxygen, light, heating and shielding elements - outlined in the manual. In event of minor or catastrophic failure of computer systems to carry out designated functions, please contact the base manager.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Pre-mission personality screening has ensured almost zero percent chance of conflict between employees - we also remind all workers they have agreed to the MarsCorp morality pledge when embarking on this mission - and computer modelling has determined there is little to no need for security services on MarsCorp. However, one employee shall be assigned the role of security to ensure ’security of possessions’ (e.g. key cards). This person is authorised to exercise all reasonable measures to maintain the level of order and security that our pre-mission planning has created. In the event of any insecure events, please contact the base manager.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
While the official MarsCorp Manual sets out all the parameters for the successful operation of the colony and progress of the terraforming mission, MarsCorp does encourage employees to use their initiative to, where possible, improve operations by reacting to the unique conditions of Mars and come up with innovations. Innovations must receive approval from the base manager and the Resources department to ensure mission alignment. In the event of innovation failure, please contact the base manager. To learn more about the exciting MarsCorp mission please continue to the next part of the manual. To MarsCorp!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The MarsCorp mission is at the forefront of human ingenuity, so employees should expect continual challenges and pressure. Resilience and the ability to learn from past successes and failures are essential qualities for all MarsCorp employees. The importance and the nature of the challenges of the terraforming mission require emotional engagement with tasks, which we expect all employees to manage appropriately. In the event of inappropriate emotional management, please contact the base manager. To learn more about the exciting MarsCorp mission please continue to the next part of the manual. To MarsCorp!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
For most, involvement with the MarsCorp mission will be reward enough. For others we have a structured ladder of promotion to recognise and reward outstanding contribution to the MarsCorp mission. This ensures continued incentivisation for employees to work to the best of their abilities. Promotions and other rewards will be distributed at the discretion of senior management – all reward decisions are final and are not open to appeal. In the event of receiving unsatisfactory reward and recognition, please do not contact the base manager. To learn more about the exciting MarsCorp mission please continue to the next part of the manual. To MarsCorp!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
The mission to terraform Mars is the most ambitious undertaking in the history of humanity and as such the standards for conduct and professionalism at MarsCorp are extremely high. Employees unable to meet these standards should liaise with management to discuss resignation and repatriation to Earth at the next available opportunity. The importance of the mission means any misconduct or serious deviation from the standards set out in the Manual will be dealt with swiftly and decisively. Employees found to have contravened the rules will have their involvement with the MarsCorp mission terminated with immediate effect. You have reached the end of Volume I of the MarsCorp manual. We trust it has been informative and encouraging. To MarsCorp!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
MarsCorp Christmas Special 2016  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A 6 part miniseries about base manager Martin Mann’s life before the events of MarsCorp. www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A 6 part miniseries about base manager Martin Mann’s life before the events of MarsCorp. www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A 6 part miniseries about base manager Martin Mann’s life before the events of MarsCorp www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A 6 part miniseries about base manager Martin Mann’s life before the events of MarsCorp. www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A 6 part miniseries about base manager Martin Mann’s life before the events of MarsCorp. www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
A 6 part miniseries about base manager Martin Mann’s life before the events of MarsCorp. www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
MarsCorp: Human Capital is a monthly MarsCorp spin-off series, made possible thanks to the generous support of our amazing Patrons over at www.patreon.com/definitelyhuman  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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Comments (20)

Gino Marino

Now I wanna move to Mars...

Apr 3rd
Reply

Elizabeth Espin

I have really enjoyed the first season and mini episodes, hanging out for season 2. Great work guys!

Sep 8th
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Jennifer

This is a fantastic audio drama, every element of the production is wonderful. It has clear hints of Night Vale and Wolf 359 but is very much its own world. Funny, clever, sweet. Pure joy to listen to this one.

Mar 31st
Reply

Vardaman

stop resisting! stop resisting!!!

Mar 10th
Reply

Amanda Marshall

love this podcast!!!!

Mar 9th
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Isaac Soper

Fantastic show, seriously one of the best audio dramas I've ever heard. Great voice acting, hilarious, engaging. Simply wonderful. Keep up the great work!

Feb 15th
Reply

Ell Doll

.

Jan 29th
Reply

Myles Tate

I nist came from the bunker l. Are David Dave and Tom in this show?

Jan 1st
Reply (1)

Aleshia Jordan

Easily a top 10 of all time, and I subscribe to well over 100 podcasts. such a fantastic story and great voice acting.

Dec 28th
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Carlton Gannett

I love this show

Nov 9th
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Killian Brown

can anyone tell me where to find that heavy metal song that plays during the drill tank deul?

Aug 13th
Reply (1)

Ronin13

Baxter reminds me of GIR

Jun 22nd
Reply (2)

Kim Roelofs

Love this podcast!cant wait for more 👍

Jun 18th
Reply

adoe

The loveliest, smartest podcast I've ever had the pleasure to hear! Brings me joy with every episode

Feb 13th
Reply

Martin Brook

really good, funny podcast.

Jan 30th
Reply

Bryan R.

This is a really awesome podcast and everyone who likes comedy and a bit of space should listen too.

Sep 27th
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