Flying Free

For years I tried to get my religious community to see what was happening in my home. It didn’t work. They joked about it in the church parking lot, then excommunicated me. In this episode, I read a story I wrote called “Who Burned the House Down?”If you’ve ever tried to tell someone about the gasoline in your house and been told you better never light a match, you’ll want to hear this story. Maybe it will help you see what is really going on, and who's really been burning your life to the ground.🔑 Key Takeaways:Abuse that no one can see still hurts you: Your husband can pour gasoline all over your home, and if he makes sure no one catches him at it, no one will believe it’s there.You were warned not to light the match: Many Christian women are told that speaking up will destroy their home, their reputation, and God’s name, and that it will all be their fault.Staying quiet doesn’t make it stop. The church often blames the woman who speaks up: People who never saw the gasoline see the fire, and they decide you started it.You are not alone, and you can walk away free: Other women have already lit the match or are getting ready to, and they know the gasoline in your house is real.If you’re suffocating under the toxic fumes in your home, you can find support in the Flying Free Kaleidoscope program at joinflyingfree.com.Get Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

In this episode, a mom asks how to guide her children through abuse in the family. She said she used to coach her kids to comply and placate so their dad wouldn't get angry. Now she wishes she hadn't taught them to stay small.If you've ever looked back at your parenting with regret, or you're trying to figure out how to protect your kids right now, this episode is for you. We’ll talk about what to do with those regrets and how to actually protect children who can't leave. Key Takeaways:What should you do with the regret you carry about parenting in survival mode? There's a number one best response to abuse. So why can't most kids use it, and what do they need instead?When is it wise for your child to stop telling their dad he's wrong? Two verses in Proverbs that seem to contradict each other hold the key.When your kids come home from their dad's house, what is your real job as their mom? It may be simpler than you think.Can you still influence your adult children once "the cement is dry"? We’ll explore where your power still lives.Get Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

In Episode 394 of the Flying Free Podcast, Natalie Hoffman talks with Lydia Grace Kaiser, author of Bible Truth About Women: What They Don't Tell You. Lydia was raised by a fundamental Baptist pastor and spent decades believing the Bible restricted women. In her 50’s she went to seminary to find out what the evidence actually says.If you've been told the Bible is "clear" about women's roles, but every church seems to teach something different, this conversation will help you see why. The confusion may not come from the Bible itself, but from the lens and the translation choices people bring to it. Together, we’ll walk through 1 Corinthians 14, 1 Timothy 2, Ephesians 5, and what it means to "be the head."Key Takeaways:The problem may be the lens, not the Bible: Translators make choices, and those choices can be shaped by their own beliefs about women. Greek has no quotation marks, so passages like 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 can be read as Paul quoting a view and then pushing back on it.Context changes the meaning: 1 Timothy 2 was written to a church dealing with false teaching, and one small Greek word is often translated "because" when it does not carry that meaning."Head" does not mean boss: Lydia explains that in the first century, head was a metaphor for provider and source, and the rest of the Bible names the heart, not the head, as the control center.Authority belongs to God's word and the Holy Spirit: It does not belong to the person standing at the pulpit.You can unhook from leaders who don't reflect God: Husbands, pastors, parents. When someone says they speak for God but does not reflect His character, you are free to let go of their version of God.With four decades of ministry experience and rigorous scholarship, Lydia brings deep insight to one of the church’s most confusing issues. Raised by a Baptist pastor and educated at a Christian college, she spent many years believing in restrictions on women. Finally, she studied the non-restrictive view, and instead of discovering that it was based on feelings and wishful thinking, she found it supported by stronger textual evidence—a discovery that led her to seminary to acquire more resources for research. Why is the English “plain reading” of certain passages so distorted and misunderstood? Lydia’s study uncovered numerous misleading tactics used to protect traditional power. She writes not as an outsider critiquing the church, but as an insider who deeply loves Jesus, Scripture, and the church, and who passionately pursues truth. Over time, Lydia became convinced that the church and Christian homes are missing God’s heart and God’s best for them. Their witness to the world is at stake, and restrictive teaching perpetuates harm in the USA and wherever American missionaries take it. The church, she believes, is on the cusp of reform as God purifies it from corruption and corporate-style hierarchy. This book is Lydia’s contribution to freeing women in their callings, freeing men from undue expectations, and helping both to discover God’s gift of partnership. Many years of teaching experience in the St. Louis area help Lydia make truth accessible for the average layperson.Get Lydia’s book: Bible Truth About Women: What They Don't Tell YouConnect with Lydia on her website.Get Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

My pastors told me that what I was experiencing for over two decades wasn’t serious enough to be called “abuse.” They said I had to be physically hurt for it to cross the line of “hard marriage” to “abusive marriage.” Their beliefs kept me spinning in a turmoil so great that I thought a lot about ending my life. If you find yourself wondering if you’d be better off dead or secretly praying your spouse might never come home again, but you’ve been told you're making a mountain out of a molehill…then listen in. I want to help clear up some of that confusion by sharing a workshop I did a while ago that answers the question, “How do I know if it’s abuse?” Key Takeaways:Chronic self-doubt and relational chaos are signs something is genuinely wrong.Your sensitivity is often your body's response to prolonged stress.I’ll give you three important questions you can ask yourself to cut through the fog.Language matters: Abusers redefine love as obedience and respect as silence — naming what's actually happening is the first step to inner freedom.God is not asking you to suffer in silence: Scripture used to justify staying in harm ignores that God defends the oppressed and sets captives free.Get Today’s Free Resource:🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.

Today we welcome back Arizona family law attorney Wendy Hernandez to celebrate the release of her brand new book, Legally Ending Love, and to walk us through exactly what every woman needs to know before they file for divorce. (Psst! When you buy her book THIS WEEK ONLY, you get a bunch of amazing free bonus resources, including a Discovery Planner, a Property and Debt Inventory worksheet, and a Free Legal-Ease Glossary - 82 family court terms in plain English, plus a free workbook. Just buy her book on Amazon - and then go to her website HERE to upload your receipt. Key Takeaways:There's a specific category of "text and email mistakes" that show up as exhibits at trial. What are you saying right now that could be used against you later?One new law passed this year changed what counts as proof of abuse in family court. Does your state recognize it yet?Attorneys use a term for the spouse who controls the money. What's it called, and what does it mean for your case if that's not you?Appeals don't work the way most women assume. Find out what actually has to happen the first time around, because there's no do-over.Wendy shares the one word she hopes every woman feels by the time she finishes her book, and it's not the word you'd expect.Having tried over 1,000 cases during her twenty-seven years as a litigator, Wendy is a courtroom warrior who has tackled every type of family law matter — from divorce to child custody and everything in between. Sharing secrets learned from the country’s top law professors at the University of Notre Dame Law School and during her battles on the family law front lines, Wendy is passionate about helping not only her clients, but also those representing themselves, to feel competent, confident and comfortable in the courtroom.Get her brand new book: Legally Ending Love (don’t forget the bonuses this week only!)Explore Wendy’s YouTube Channel, Command the Courtroom.Get Today’s Free Resource:📒 Take a free Emotional Abuse Assessment by going to emotionalabusequiz.comI will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.