The Black Adoption Podcast

"Your creation was the best I could be for you." - Qadriyyah S. Mabel-Dorothy Listen, much like The South, African American birth mothers got something to say! Outcasts in their own right, Black women who choose adoption for their babies often live with shame, even when they believe their choice was the best they could do at the time. Following her divorce, Qadriyyah knew that she didn't want to have more children. God, however, had different plans, revealed to her in recurring dreams of a beautiful, Black baby boy. She knew she would have another baby and also that she was "giving birth to somebody else's baby."  Twice. Navigating through lack of adoption knowledge, denied requests for therapy support, a "janky" money-focused adoption agency, family and friends who didn't understand her choices, all while raising children through anxiety and depression, Qadriyyah's journey shows parenting and adoption take more than love. Take a listen, check out the Recommended Adoption Resources in the Show Notes and SHARE! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube           Qadriyyah on Instagram @qadriyyah_allmother RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES The Cradle Sayers Center for African American Adoption LISTEN: Voices of African American Birth Mothers on The Black Adoption Podcast: S1E10, S2E4, S2E8  BlackAdoptionMatters.com READ:  My Brown Baby: On the Joys and Challenges of Raising African American Children by Denene Millner REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #BLACKBIRTHMOTHER #AFRICANAMERICANADOPTION

"How could my life until that point not be the authentic life that I thought I was living?" - Lorna Little, Black, late discovery adoptee With an impressive academic and professional background in social services, Lorna Little, MSW is intimately connected to the challenges and needs of families, particularly youth parents, youth in foster care and individuals impacted by adoption. Since 2018, she has served as the President and CEO of St. Anne's Family Services. In 1997, the professional turned unexpectedly - an unimaginably - personal. "It's out now." With those three simple words, Lorna learned from her mother that she was adopted. But only by one parent. "Your dad is your dad biologically. But I'm not your biological mother." A living family secret swaddled in the shame of infidelity, infertility, interracial romance and stigma took Lorna on an international search for the truth of her origins that spanned years. Lorna's search is filled with so many twists, turns and moments of synchronicity that her reunion can only be called Divine. Her memoir, Mum's the Word! (we love a good double entendre!) is not only a journey through family secrets and relationships; it's a map of sorts for other late discovery adoptees navigating their own healing journeys through what Lorna describes as the complex "blessing" of adoption. This episode is like a movie, y'all, get comfortable and get into it! As always, LISTEN, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠⁠Youtube         ⁠⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning Website RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoption on ⁠⁠⁠The Black Adoption Podcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ REQUIRED READING: ⁠⁠⁠Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop⁠⁠⁠  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads FEATURED #BTTBreads: ⁠⁠Mum's the Word! A Memoir⁠⁠ by Lorna Little AS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: ⁠"Secrets & Lies" (Film) SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST ⁠⁠⁠SUPPORTER⁠⁠⁠: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PAYPAL/ZELLE: info@blacktothebeginning.com ⁠⁠⁠SHOP Black to the Beginning⁠⁠           ⁠ SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY ⁠⁠⁠Podcast Guest Questionnaire⁠⁠⁠ #ADOPTION #FOSTERCARE #LDA #NPE

“I just want to get into some ‘good trouble’.”   - Ryan Hill, Black, same-race adoptee For as long as Ryan could remember, he always knew that he was adopted. His mother was a social worker who also  worked at The Cradle, an Illinois adoption agency, for 10 years.  She would often hold him close and softly speak the words, “we want you,” into his ear.  Ryan felt special and internalized that he was “chosen.”   While his mother was very intentional about demonstrating her love and support through open conversation, she opted to not have other family members to speak about adoption at all.  This left Ryan feeling “othered,” and unprepared with how to navigate being Black, male, and adopted in the all-white neighborhood in which he grew up.  The compounding of these identities brought about shame, feelings of abandonment and rejection, and ultimately depression.   At the age of 13, Ryan’s overwhelming emotions had him believing that life was no longer worth living.  And while he didn’t make any attempts on his life at that time, the thoughts of suicide ebbed and flowed, even into adulthood.  Fortunately, he found the creative outlet of DJ’ing to assist him through challenging times. Eventually, Ryan embarks on a search and reunion process to learn more about his origin story.  What he uncovers is enough to re-traumatize him!  Instead, he places himself at choice to fortify relationships with his adoptive family, accept the complexities of his biological family, and vows to unapologetically speak the truth in his advocacy for adoptees' voices to be heard so that they don’t become statistics. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠⁠Youtube         ⁠⁠⁠ RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on ⁠⁠⁠The Black Adoption Podcast⁠⁠⁠ SUPPORT: ⁠⁠Black Adoptee Support Group⁠ & ⁠Adopted Black Girl Podcast⁠⁠ REQUIRED READING: ⁠⁠⁠Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop⁠⁠⁠  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads FEATURED #BTTBreads:The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier AS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: Jane Elliot, American Diversity Educator SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST ⁠⁠⁠SUPPORTER⁠⁠⁠: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PAYPAL/ZELLE: info@blacktothebeginning.com ⁠⁠⁠SHOP Black to the Beginning⁠⁠           ⁠ SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY ⁠⁠⁠Podcast Guest Questionnaire⁠⁠⁠ #ADOPTION #SUICIDE PREVENTION #MENTALHEALTH

"I don't romanticize my suffering and my trauma and I don't allow other people to do it either." - Aretha Frazier, Black, kinship adoptee Aretha Frazier's younger sister is her biological niece and Aretha's mom is her biological aunt. Aretha was introduced to the complexities of family relationships early in life, being born to parents who struggled with crack addictions in Detroit in the 1990s. She still vividly remembers the fear of seeing the two police officers who came to remove her and her two younger siblings from their home and from her biological mother's care. Their favorite aunt came to pick them up, and with a new home came a new name and a new relationship. Favorite auntie quickly became a mother whom she learned to fear. Aretha experienced unchecked physical abuse until the age of 12, but emotional and mental abuse by her mother continued. Her strict and controlling ways often went ignored by other family members who never let Aretha forget that she should be grateful for the good life, education and opportunities her mother provided. Aretha turned out better than fine; she became a successful lawyer. Wasn't life so much better than what it would have been if she'd stayed with her biological mother? People tend to believe that intrafamilial adoption, or kinship adoption, is inherently all good and that is far from the truth. Aretha's story parallels many of the challenges experienced by those who are adopted by non-biological kin. For so many years Aretha walked on eggshells, tip-toeing around her adoption to avoid the landmines of her mom's emotions. Today, she's using her voice and her story to help people interrogate their assumptions about kinship adoption. She proudly identifies as #BlackAndAdopted and we love to see it! Clap it up for EPISODE 50, y'all!! Wow. This milestone was reached in partnership with YOU. Thank you for every listen, every share, every DM, every storyteller and every piece of support and encouragement. Cheers to changing the narrative one episode at a time! As always, LISTEN, SUBSCRIBE & SHARE! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠Youtube         ⁠⁠ RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on ⁠⁠The Black Adoption Podcast⁠⁠ SUPPORT: ⁠Black Adoptee Support Group & Adopted Black Girl Podcast⁠ REQUIRED READING: ⁠⁠Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop⁠⁠  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads FEATURED #BTTBreads: ⁠Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families and How Abolition Can Build a Safer World⁠ by Dorothy Roberts AS MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE: "I'm Glad My Mom Died" by Jennette McCurdy SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST ⁠⁠SUPPORTER⁠⁠: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PAYPAL/ZELLE: info@blacktothebeginning.com ⁠⁠SHOP Black to the Beginning⁠           ⁠ SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY ⁠⁠Podcast Guest Questionnaire⁠⁠ #ADOPTION #FOSTERCARE #KINSHIP

What happens when a happy-go-lucky Black boy with a healthy sense of curiosity is silenced by a secret from the shadows?  He retreats, hides, and selectively mutes himself. What those around him don’t know, is that the “mic-drop” reveal by his parents of “you’re adopted,” is never discussed again.  The little boy, with questions about his story, is not permitted to ask them.  Consolation is not an option.  Rather, he’s told to “fix your face and act right.” Coming to the proverbial BTTB stage for Season 4, Episode 49, is Poet Loschil (sounds like Lost Child).  Listen in as this Black MAN shares his uphill battle to decipher his parents’ truths from lies.  And while you’re tuning in, think about the impact of only having a “one and done,” conversation about a critical life-changing event. The closest that he ever gets to answers is through reunion with some of his biological family.  Even then, there are lingering clues that may never lead to a full understanding of his identity. Luckily, Poet Loschil, begins to tap into his creative prowess. He credits writing and poetry with being the outlet that he never knew he needed.  It’s been his therapy, his rise from the ashes, and the vehicle to unmute himself.  His words are a gift and a lesson to us all that no matter what, Black adoptee voices are powerful and necessary. We will not be silenced. Take a listen to Season 4, Episode 49.  Share. Subscribe. Leave a review. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠⁠Youtube          Poet Loschil on Instagran @poetloschil RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES THERAPY/COACHING: with ⁠Therapy for Black Men READ: ⁠⁠⁠⁠Between the World and Me by Ta-Nahesi Coates⁠ REFLECT: with ⁠Rooted in Adoption Journal: Adoptee Writing Prompts for Self-Reflection, Discovery, and Healing⁠ LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on ⁠⁠The Black Adoption Podcast⁠⁠ REQUIRED READING: ⁠⁠Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop⁠⁠  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads #BTTBreads SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST ⁠⁠SUPPORTER⁠⁠: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com ⁠⁠SHOP Black to the Beginning           ⁠⁠ SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY ⁠⁠Podcast Guest Questionnaire⁠⁠ #ADOPTION #THEBLACKFAMILY #MENTALHEALTH #SEARCHANDREUNION #WRITEABOUTIT

"I just believe that the plan for their life and my life is going to exceed everything I've gone through." - Michelle Senior, adoptive mom following emergency foster care placement Less than a year after her son was murdered, Michelle Senior found herself unexpectedly caring for three children under the age of two. When people comment that she "saved" them, she's quick to correct them that her three "miracles" saved her. Grief mixed with the overwhelm of unplanned motherhood and trauma from her past had her contemplating taking her own life. Thankfully, she didn't. Although Michelle, instead, recognized the blessing in having more to live for - despite the challenges - this conversation dives deeper into how do parents care for themselves navigating personal trauma while also caring for traumatized children. It takes more than love in either case, that much is for certain. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on ⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠Youtube         ⁠ Michelle on Instagram @welcome2thezoocus RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on ⁠The Black Adoption Podcast⁠ SUPPORT: National Foster Parent Association Resource Page⁠ REQUIRED READING: ⁠Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop⁠  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads FEATURED #BTTBreads: Torn Apart: How the Child Welfare System Destroys Black Families and How Abolition Can Build a Safer World by Dorothy Roberts SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST ⁠SUPPORTER⁠: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com ⁠SHOP Black to the Beginning           ⁠ SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY ⁠Podcast Guest Questionnaire⁠ #ADOPTION #FOSTERCARE

There’s a price for freedom, and it involves doing your work.  For Regina, this meant moving from a place of being “ok” about her adoption status, to being accepting of it.  This was no easy task, because adoption was not discussed with her since the age of six, during an interrupted viewing of Soul Train.  40+ years later, the topic remained, hush.  Consequently, Regina grappled with failed relationships, being loyal to a fault, and suppressing her feelings and emotions about who she was and how she came to be with her family. After one critical event of begging a man to like her, she recognized that her unresolved issues about her adoption kept her from loving herself, and she begins working with a life coach.  This is pivotal for her as she begins to speak truth to power, openly acknowledge her adoption, and embrace her calling to help others in this world.  This story solidifies how secrecy, stigma, shame, and silence are detrimental to adoptees being able to fully, heal.  What’s an adoptee to do when it appears that society and adoptive/biological families express that adoptees should just move on with their lives and remain in the dark about where they come from?  How do adoptees receive adequate medical care when a visit at the doctor’s office feels disempowering if you don’t have information about your health history?  When the credits roll, is it not fair to admit that sometimes, reunions are “like a gift wrapped in sandpaper?”  We have questions, and the answers.  Take a listen to Season 4, Episode 47.  Share. Subscribe. Leave a review. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on ⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠ Black to the Beginning on ⁠Youtube          RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES LIFE COACHING: with Regina Smithwick READ: ⁠Adoption, the Unknown Blessing by Regina Smithwick WATCH: My Other Mother LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on ⁠The Black Adoption Podcast⁠ REQUIRED READING: ⁠Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop⁠  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads #BTTBreads SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST ⁠SUPPORTER⁠: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com ⁠SHOP Black to the Beginning           ⁠ SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY ⁠Podcast Guest Questionnaire⁠ #ADOPTION #THEBLACKFAMILY #MENTALHEALTH #SEARCHANDREUNION

"Why didn't somebody tell me that I had fibroids? Even if they weren't that big, why didn't somebody tell me that I had them?" - Jamel Hicks, Mothering via adoption after fibroids + infertility After having years of annual exams, Jamel Hicks was 34 years old the first time a gynecologist told her she had fibroids - several fibroids, to be exact. Not only was this news to her, she was also shocked to learn from her mother that many of the women in their family suffered with fibroids. Jamel remembers being about 10 years old when she helped care for an aunt who had surgery. Come to find out, her aunt had a hysterectomy.  The women in her family didn't talk about those things. Removing the fibroids set Jamel on a fertility journey that put a strain on her body, mind and blossoming relationship with the man who would become her husband. She started a blog, Maybe Mama, to chronicle her rollercoaster journey with infertility as a Black woman. After one round of IVF treatments, she clearly heard from God "no more medical intervention."  For Jamel, adoption was not the last resort. Not being a parent was the last resort. Life as a hopeful adoptive parent (HAP) meant first dealing with the grief of infertility. Today, there's no maybe; Jamel is mama to a beautiful baby boy. Her story is a reminder that #BlackFamiliesAdopt and they are "real" families, too. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube          Jamel on Instagram @mothering_after & @maybemama RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES READ: Maybe Mama Blog - Musings on Infertility. Blackness. Womanhood. LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on The Black Adoption Podcast SUPPORT: Fertility for Colored Girls & The Broken Brown Egg & The White Dress Project REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads #BTTBreads FEATURED #BTTBreads: "Adoption is Both" by Elena S. Hall SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #FIBROIDS #INFERTILITY

Reading through documentation from a half-baked adoption file is the only way to “jarg” Michelle’s repressed memories of her childhood. As she sifts through the notes that a social worker has penned, she learns that her early life included living in a motel that housed prostitutes and drug addicts. A line that jumps off the page of that report states “it is a great concern that she was allowed to spend the first three years of her life here.” This begins Michelle’s journey into the foster care system, but ultimately becoming an adoptee. Throughout her time within the foster care system, Michelle endures unspeakable trauma. So much so, she becomes selectively mute. Ultimately, a new home is identified for Michelle, and she has a “resting place,” where she at least receives her basic needs, educational and mental health supports, as well as unbreakable bonds with the other children in her home that were fostered and then adopted. The resilience and power within this story are unparalleled. It’s a testament to triumphing in the midst of tribulations, deciding for oneself that you won’t be a victim, and creating connections with people that are going to build you up and celebrate your “wins,” at all times. Get into this nightmare turned beautiful beginning. We’re inspired, and know you will be too. Take a listen to Season 4, Episode 45. Share. Subscribe. Leave a review. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube  RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on The Black Adoption Podcast Black Adoptee Support Group on Instagram @blackadopteesupportgroup REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop      - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99,      $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning   SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #FOSTERCARE #SELFMANAGEMENT

"All I know is that I was left there and God brought me to where I was supposed to be." - Shannon Thompson, Black, Same Race Adoptee + Foster Care to Adoption Brooklyn, New York. Early '90s.  Against the backdrop of fly fashion, music history-in-the-making and a war on Black families - errr, a "war on drugs" - , a newborn girl was abandoned in a hospital. Her emergency foster home in the care of a 52-year-old woman became the only home she's ever known. Shannon Thompson is a survivor and overcomer from birth. While being adopted or raised in kinship care may be considered outside the "norm" by some, Shannon grew up in a community where it was more common for children to live with their grandparents. Shannon called Ms. Sue, her mother/adoptive mom, "Grandma" just like Ms. Sue's grandchildren did. Being raised by an older parent came with some challenges, and also came with love and an ally on Shannon's search for birth family. Years of searching, including 23andMe and Ancestry.com DNA tests, came with dead ends, stalled communications, loss, grief, hope and God's faithfulness. Shannon is clear that the abandonment that happened to her is NOT her. This future licensed clinical psychologist is owning her voice and her story, and intentions to use her experiences and studies to help children and families who share a similar origin story. YESSSS! Some people wear their heart on their sleeve. You can hear Shannon's heart in her voice. Take a listen, feel all the feels, share, subscribe and leave a review! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube          RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES READ: Administration for Community Living's (ACL) Supporting Grandparents Raising Grandchildren (SGRG) Act Initial Report to Congress LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on The Black Adoption Podcast Black Adoptee Support Group on Instagram @blackadopteesupportgroup REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #FOSTERCARE #GRANDFAMILIES

What would it look like for Black adoptees, their adoptive parents, and their birth families to be free? Free from generational trauma. Free from secrets. Free from societal expectations. Free from what can be viewed as hypocrisy from the Black church. With this freedom comes responsibility, and Black women often find themselves at a crossroads of choosing themselves and attending to the needs of others. In this episode, Deesha Philyaw, author of The Secret Lives of Church Ladies gets as honest and vulnerable as anyone can get. After experiencing secondary infertility, she and her then husband decide against fertility treatments, and pursue an adoption journey. As she navigates the process, she reminds herself that her child is not “sitting in a cabbage patch.”  Her daughter had/has a family, and the bittersweet mixture of happiness, grief, and loss cannot be overstated. One day, Deesha takes inventory of her life and acknowledges her own unhappiness. Deesha’s up-bringing in the Evangelical church implores her to abide by doctrine, because, “God doesn’t like divorce.” She decides NOT to play by the rules, and ultimately co-creates a healthy parenting plan (and a book!) with her ex-husband. Getting real about the complexities of adoption AND divorce, has resulted in liberated parenting. As a bonus, we explored  The Secret Lives of Church Ladies – a beautiful homage to Black women’s stories. Deesha reminds us how telling our stories, even when they’re “messy” may release oneself from their burdens. There is power in our voices and putting pen to paper. It’s a start to engaging in our own self-discovery process where we are FREE to pursue who we are without interference. CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Deesha Philyaw on Facebook Deesha Philyaw on Instagram The Secret Lives of Church Ladies  RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES READ: It's Not About You: Understanding Adoptee Search, Reunion, and Open Adoption by Brooke Randolph READ: Co-parenting 101: Helping Your Kids Thrive in Two Households after Divorce by Deesha Philyaw and Michael Thomas @blackadopteesupportgroup SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire

"I had nobody else to really give me the answers that I was looking for, so I used my faith, my prayer to navigate on this journey."  - Makayla Brown, Black, Same Race Adoptee + Host, Adopted but Identified When you know who you are in your adoptive family and who you are in your biological family, how do you merge the two and still be YOU? Makayla Brown answered this question by being exactly who God created her to be.  Rooted in her family's Christian upbringing, Makayla found God for herself and developed a personal relationship by talking to God through the letters she wrote in her prayer journal. She consistently wrote her intentions to one day find her first family, and those letters manifested into the sweetest 16th birthday gift of reconnecting with them. Makayla's mother supported her search and reunion from the beginning with a literal open book and open door to ask questions. Without the burdens of secrecy, stigma and shame, Makayla's heart and mind were open to receive her "new" family. But, were they ready to receive her and the family that came along with her? There's no rule book how to navigate the process of life after reunion, but Makayla's story is evidence that speaking life over your adoptee journey is a must! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube          Adopted but Identified on Facebook Adopted but Identified on Instagram @adoptedbutidentified RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES WATCH: "Adopted but Identified LIVE" - Makayla Brown shares the 'why' behind Adopted but Identified on Facebook Live LISTEN: Voices of the Black Adoption Experience and African American adoptees on The Black Adoption Podcast Black Adoptee Support Group on Instagram @blackadopteesupportgroup REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION

Breanna’s teenage mother attempts to hide her pregnancy, but when she goes into labor on her High School Graduation Day, her own mother forces her to place the child for adoption. Baby Breanna is fostered and then adopted, after remaining in the foster care system for 3 years. While her adoptive parents informed church members of she and her siblings’ adoption status, they never had an explicit conversation to define what it meant to be adopted. As a self-described “weird child, Breanna searched the pages of a dictionary she carried around with her. Reading the definition provided comfort, but thrust her into a world of fantasy as she aimed to resolve her belief that this situation – this family, was temporary. After suffering sexual abuse at the hands of her mother’s boyfriend, Breanna leaves home after her senior year of high school. This decision severed the relationship with she and her adoptive family, but friends encourage her to engage in a search and reunion process. The information she receives from her adoption file and a Facebook search have her connected with her biological mother, overnight. Over the span of a decade, there has yet to be an official meeting with her biological mother, siblings, and other blood relatives due to fear and continued secrecy. In spite of it all, Breanna shares how she has defined family for herself, is using her voice to speak her truth, and is finally on the path to healing. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube                Breanna Wyley on Instagram  RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES Therapy for Black Girls LISTEN: The Black Adoption Podcast  Black Adoptee Support Group on Instagram  REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop     - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning                 SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION EXPERIENCE Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #BLACKADOPTION #FOSTERCARE #SEARCHANDREUNION #AFRICANAMERICANADOPTION

Fool me once (at 16 years old), shame on you. Fool me twice (at 32 years old),shame on, who? STILL YOU!!! At the crossroads of trust and deception is a conscious choice of transparency. When it comes to late discovery adoptees (LDA), they are often given excuses as to why the knowledge of their adoption status was withheld. For Tonya, this information was dismissed because her adoptive father, also an alcoholic, had shared the information. His substance abuse was used as the scapegoat to deny the truth. 16 years later, Tonya finds out that there were no lies told. Her mother and grandparents vowed to go to the grave with this information, and her aunt didn’t think it was her place to divulge this family secret. So now what? Tonya is left angry, hurt, disappointed, and confused about who she is, and everything that she THOUGHT she knew about herself. Tonya, almost lost her physical, emotional, and mental stability as she grappled with grief, shame, and a search and reunion process that only led to dead ends. She regains control of her life with therapy, a life coach, and turning her story into a documentary. She also credits her faith, her husband, children, and sister-friends for providing her with unconditional love and support as she reclaims her #IDentity? SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube           Tonya Hockaday on Instagram  RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES Therapy for Black Girls LISTEN: Voices of African American, Late Discovery (LDA) adoptees on The Black Adoption Podcast S1E6, S2E5, S2E11, S2E14, S3E33 Black Adoptee Support Group on Instagram  REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION EXPERIENCE   Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #BLACKADOPTION #LATEDISCOVERYADOPTEE #AFRICANAMERICANADOPTION

"Therapy is a real tool and resource." - J'ai Brown, Black Same Race Adoptee J'ai Brown's parents struggled to conceive. Then, SURPRISE! Two years after adopting J'ai, they went on to conceive FIVE children (including a set of twins). A self-described "daddy's girl," J'ai has close relationships with her father and all of her siblings. The relationship with her mother, however, has been much more complicated, with childhood memories of her mother threatening to send her back or saying their family had five children instead of six. Being intentional and deliberate about working through the impact of the exclusion she felt as a child has been life changing. With the support of Black, adoption trauma informed therapists, J'ai has stepped into owning her voice and her story. "I want to use my experience, my voice to be a blessing to other adoptees.... I want to use my experience to be that person that I did not have growing up." This healing journey is not only for the little girl that she was, but also for the little girl that she and her husband are raising. "I got a little queen, a young queen that I'm raising and I don't want her to have the experience of not feeling like she's enough, not feeling valued, not feeling seen and heard." In the midst of her hopeful search to one day connect with biological family, J'ai is leaning on her faith as she continues to define and embrace all the beautiful pieces of herself. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube           J'ai Brown on Instagram @jlb_piecesofme RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES Therapy for Black Girls LISTEN: Voices of African American adoptees on The Black Adoption Podcast Black Adoptee Support Group on Instagram @blackadopteesupportgroup REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION EXPERIENCE Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #BLACKADOPTION #AFRICANAMERICANADOPTION

“She never forgot that she had a daughter out there somewhere.” – Lisa Wright, Black Adoptee Despite being born in the 60’s when closed adoptions were the norm, Lisa Wright’s progressive mother opted to be open and transparent with her daughter about her adoption status. Her goal was that her child would not feel disconnected, angry, or abandoned. While Lisa was able to detect distinct differences between, she and her family, she also was astutely aware the family doesn’t always mean DNA was involved. The fact that her mother had adopted and also fostered children, #TheBlackFamily constellation looked a lot different, but had the same love as any blood-related family. Lisa was so secure within her family; she rejected the notion of engaging in a search and reunion process. When asked by her mother if she would ever look, Lisa’s response was, “I don't need to find my mom. Last time I checked, you were still here.”  These words held true until one fateful request to take a 23andMe DNA Test came from Lisa’s son, Nicholas. Who knew that Nicholas’s desire for a tribal tattoo would create a pathway to locating biological family in such a beautiful and unexpected way? In this story, a mother and daughter are reunited after 50 years. And GUESS WHO HER MAMA IS? If you want to know, you’ll need to listen in to this VERY SPECIAL episode where we hear for the first time, the perspectives of not only the Black Adoptee (Lisa), but her first known blood relative – her son, Nicholas. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube  Lisa Wright on Instagram @lisanwright Nicholas Wright on Instagram @misterwright1 RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES LISTEN: Voices of African American Adoptees and Successful Search and Reunion on The Black Adoption Podcast: S1E5, S2E6, S2E7, S3E32 REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #BLACKADOPTION #THEBLACKFAMILY #23ANDMe #SEARCHANDREUNION

"At 23, my world just blew up. It literally just blew up in my face." - Darius Colquitt, Black Late Discovery + Kinship Adoptee "I love you. I love you, too. How much? Til the world blow up...". That's how Darius Colquitt and his dad would communicate when Darius was younger. With one fateful Facebook message, Darius' world that included his loving parents and his cool-ass uncle who wore suits and listened to jazz blew ALL the way up.  His uncle turned out to be his biological father and the man he knew as his dad was really his uncle.  In the aftermath, it was his passion and gift for artistic expression that helped Darius pick up, process and re-imagine the pieces of his life. The award-winning entertainer wrote his way toward healing and a new narrative.  Darius' personality is BIG and we cut UP in this conversation! But don't get it twisted. Take it from three late discovery adoptees: sometimes you gotta laugh to keep from crying. The height of our joy matches the depth of our pain. SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube           Darius Colquitt on Instagram @dariuscolquitt RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES WATCH: "I Am A Product of the Southside" - an excerpt from Darius' one-man production, Til The World Blow Up!: A Southside Love Story LISTEN: Voices of African American LDA and kinship adoptees on The Black Adoption Podcast: S1E6, S2E5, S2E11, S2E14, S3E33 Black Adoptee Support Group on Instagram @blackadopteesupportgroup READ: Time to Come Off the Porch: Journey of Healing from the Wounds of Kinship Care in the Black Family by Dr. Kimberley Hundley REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #BLACKADOPTION #AFRICANAMERICANADOPTION

" Ain't no destination. We just keep journeying." – Zahra Alabanza Kinship care has been the method of choice when children are unable to reside with their biological parents. However, this is not always the best or DESIRED option, especially when children don’t know certain sides of their family and/or there is a perception that one’s family hasn’t shown up for them in times of need. This is the conundrum Zahra Alabanza found herself in at the age of 12, after being kidnapped by her father, abandoned, and spilt up from her siblings. Although there were challenges along the way, the girl grows up and makes the best of the cards she’s been dealt. Just when Zahra is living her absolute best life in these Chi-Town streets, she finds out that her nephews have been placed in the foster care system. This is a full circle moment for her, and despite not being the “cookie-baking” type, she decides to raise her nephews, and reimagines what motherhood and family constellations can look like. Zahra’s lifelong preparation coupled with her professional expertise as a social worker provides revelations and stark lessons for us about how to play chess, not checkers, when it comes to foster care system and deciding to formally adopt your kin. Listen in and listen up to this story about loss, grief, grace, compassion, and a continuous journey toward healing so that one doesn’t repeat generational trauma. Check out the Recommended Adoption Resources in the Show Notes and SHARE! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube           Zahra Alabanza on Instagram @zahra_ala RECOMMENDED ADOPTION RESOURCES Guides and Handbooks for Kinship Caregivers LISTEN: Voices of Fostered Adults and Kin that Care The Black Adoption Podcast: S1E4, S2E1, S2E2, S2E10 REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! SUPPORT THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal/Zelle: info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION SOTRY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #FOSTERCARE #KINSHIPADOPTION #AFRICANAMERICANADOPTION

"I know who I am, but I just want to know, where it actually started." - Sonia Morgan Imagine finding a photo album that you’ve never seen before. The pictures are of you BUT the name on the book and photos is not your own. Hard to fathom, right? Our guest, Sonia Morgan lived this experience, and at age 27, her world is turned upside down when she confirms her lifelong feeling that “something’s not right.” Sonia grew up in a loving home with her parents and older sister where she has fond childhood memories of playing outside, jumping rope, and playing jacks. She felt safe, secure, and had no reason to believe that there were any family secrets bubbling beneath the surface. Listen in as we chat about what it means to be a late discovery adoptee (LDA), the intensity and fluctuation of emotions that are felt during the grieving process, the exploration of the “truth,” and the conflict of being empathetic and compassionate, when those expressions are often denied to adoptees. More importantly, we drill down on intentional curiosity about oneself. In doing so, adoptees can sit in their power to not “erase,” who they are, but live in their purpose without shame. Check out the Recommended Resources in the Show Notes and SHARE! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube           Sonia on Instagram @ms.sonique RECOMMENDED RESOURCES LISTEN: Black to the Beginning: The Black Adoption Podcast Seasons 1 & 2 REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! African Ancestry DNA Testing 23andMe DNA Testing SUPPORT BLACK TO THE BEGINNING: THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal:info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #LDA #FOG #BLACKFAMILY #EVERYBIRTHHASASTORY

"I consider myself to be on the far end of the scale of good reunions." - Damon Davis Every search and reunion story is unique, and Damon Davis knows this well. More than 150 adoptees have shared their stories on his popular "Who Am I Really? Podcast" and his own search and reunion stories (plural) made our hearts swell (you'll definitely want to read his memoir and be prepared for a good, ugly cry). Damon was raised by two Black parents and for most of his life he had no desire to search for his biological family. The birth of his son, Seth, changed that. Taking two different search and reunion paths with each birth parent - formal and more informal - Damon's journey underscores for adoptees the importance of searching intentionally for the right reasons at the right time, caring for ourselves emotionally throughout the process, and if a reunion is an outcome, the beauty that can come from holding those precious initial meetings sacred as a potential relationship evolves. AND in this conversation, we turn the tables on Damon and get his official answer to his own million dollar question, "Who Am I Really?". Take a listen, check out the Recommended Resources in the Show Notes and SHARE! SHOW NOTES CONNECT WITH US! Black to the Beginning on Instagram  Black to the Beginning on Facebook  Black to the Beginning on Youtube           Damon on Instagram @waireally  RECOMMENDED RESOURCES LISTEN: Who Am I Really? Podcast LISTEN: Black to the Beginning: The Black Adoption Podcast Seasons 1 & 2 READ: Who Am I Really: An Adoptee Memoir by Damon Davis  REQUIRED READING: Black to the Beginning Reads Bookshop  - A carefully curated list of #BTTBreads...for the culture! African Ancestry DNA Testing 23andMe DNA Testing SUPPORT BLACK TO THE BEGINNING: THE BLACK ADOPTION PODCAST SUPPORTER: Make a monthly contribution of $0.99, $4.99, or $9.99 PayPal:info@blacktothebeginning.com SHOP Black to the Beginning            SHARE YOUR BLACK ADOPTION STORY Podcast Guest Questionnaire #ADOPTION #REUNION #FAMILY