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If you are in a doc program, chances are your ANGRY muscle will be triggered at some point.In this episode, Dr. Gina Simmons Schneider explains why it is OK to be mad and how to move past this emotion to get on with your degree (and life!). Gina received her PhD from United States International University and is a licensed psychotherapist, executive coach, and corporate trainer. As a coping skills expert, she has more than 25 years of experience helping people regulate difficult emotions and conflicts.In this episode, we focus on the emotion of ANGER and her book: Frazzlebrain: Break Free from Anxiety, Anger, and Stress Using Advanced Discoveries in NeuropsychologyGet the book here: Frazzlebrain, you'll discover how to:·       Soften your response to stress·       Overcome toxic self-criticism·       Tame hostile and cynical thinking·       Activate your brain’s self-healing properties·       Create meaningful experiences·       Cultivate optimism and hopefulnessEach chapter offers exercises, case examples, and self-improvement skills to help you achieve a calmer, happier, healthier lifestyle.Connect with Gina The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources are available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
 On this episode I have so much FUN chatting with Ellen Leonard. Ellen is a speaker, stress management consultant + coach, and expert who teaches and coaches business leaders, teams and organizations how to manage and prevent stress. Ellen’s professional background and expertise include 12 years as a published scientific researcher, 9 years as an award-winning university instructor, and 9 years leading The StressLess MethodⓇ. Ellen shares some great tools for remembering how to relax and have fun – who couldn’t use more of that?Connect with Ellen Learn more here: The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources are available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: Review the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
On this episode, I dive deep into Imposter Syndrome (what it is, what it isn’t, the difference between coping and overcoming, and MORE) with Sheryl Anjenette. Sheryl is a best-selling author, international speaker, thought leader, and the CEO of Anjanette Wellness Academy.  Her newest book: The Imposter Lies Within: Silence Your Inner Critic, Tame Your Fear, Unleash Your Badassery, is a holistic journey past imposter syndrome. Get the book here: are some ways she goes beyond other approaches to imposter syndrome:*She provides a holistic approach using inside-out & outside-in methodologies.*She debunks 8 pervasive myths, such as “Feel your fear and do it anyway” is a cure for imposter syndrome.*She introduces The Healthy Zone, illustrating that emotions can be healthy when in an adaptive place.*She shows how to transform and transmute self-sabotaging patterns.Connect with SherylWebsite: www.sherylanjanette.comLinkedIn: @sheryl-anjanette @sherylanjanette @sherylanjanette  Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
In this episode, I chat with Scott Miller, the host of On Leadership with Scott Miller. He is a Thought Leadership Senior Advisor at Franklin Covey and authors a leadership column for He is also the bestselling author of the Mess to Success series and more recently, Master Mentor Volume one.Highlights1.     Efficiency and Effectiveness are not the same things – know when to be efficient and when to be effective (hint: you cannot be efficient with people!).2.     Know your peak, trough, and recovery times – and plan your tasks accordingly! (see interview link with Dan Pink below).3.     Focus is a leadership competency – to get clear on WHAT you should be focusing on, get clear on your VALUES (see podcast links below).4.     Resist wearing busyness as a badge (come on, you know this happens!) and plan downtime; you need time to recover.5.     Learn how to say “NO” (I know, I know…this comes up A LOT – how are you doing with this skill?).6.     Think of your life in “seasons” – you might have a semester of an unbalanced season in grad school, just make sure you counter that with a (more) balanced season (yes, you need to repair, relax, and rejuvenate to be your best self).7.     You can have it all – just not all at the same time!8.     Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond. 9.     Ask yourself: How do I want to show up right now?10.  Master Mentor volumes are great books that will enhance your personal productivity (see free offer below).Get the Master Mentors book here: episodes referencedOn Leadership Podcast episode with Daniel Pink: that talk about the importance of knowing your core values#31 Reality Check: Is a Doc Program for You? with Jamie Hillman The Road to Happiness with Zahra Karsan Connect with Scott@scottmillerj1 LinkedIn (for free offer below) your free copy of Scott’s newest book card deck, Master Mentors. Reach out to him on LinkedIn with your name and mailing address (tell him you heard him on The Happy Doc Student with Dr. Heather Frederick) Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
On this episode Zahra Karsan, peak performance coach, founder and CEO of GetZend shares nuggets of wisdom from her book: Six Weeks to Happy the Ultimate Roadmap to Retrain Your Brain for Better Health, Greater Abundance and Long Lasting Happiness.What makes you happy?The definition of happiness is so unique – what does it mean to you?How do you realize your optimal well-being?We have four bodies (how are you attending to each one?)PhysicalMentalEmotional Spiritual/EnergeticBasic Tool to develop self-awareness and shift uncomfortable emotions – Do some deep breathing and ask: How do you want to feel instead? And breath in those feelings.Link to book: ebook: with Zahra The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Stress Less and Do More!On this episode, Blaine Oelkers, America’s only Chief Results Officer, shares productivity hacks that deliver a 30 minute hour™ that any busy person, but especially Doc Students can use!Start by asking: What would you do with two guilt-free hours?  Because, once you learn how to compress time, it’s an opportunity to do more of these things How to get an hour's worth of things done in 30 minutes:1.    Tap into the power of the day-before-vacation with PDF: Plan, Delegate, Focus2.    Plan  Pre-plan your day (do it when it works best for you – habit linking is an idea), Consider getting up a bit early (maybe do this a few days a week)Be selective with what you are planning (remember the 80/20 rule – focus on the 20 and remove the 80 that don’t have as much value – like social media)3.    Delegate Think “who before the do” (is there someone else who can do this?)Be OK with asking for help4.    Focus Think “Day Before Vacation Mode” and unleash your fierce focus (skip chit-chat, Netflix, etc.) Become Dr. “No”  - “Know before you no!”Use timers and time block your day5.    Be a task masterDestroy distraction for a single task (use airplane mode, close the door, etc.)Multi-task when it makes sense (take a friend on a walk, listen to a podcast while doing chores, etc.)Batch tasking – batch things that go together (errands, phone calls, interruptions - use office hours, etc.)6.    Release your inner perfectionist – Done is better than perfect!7.    Take control of your day or someone else might8.    You don’t need to go into “day before vacation mode” every day but consider being in that mode a few days a week or integrating some of these tips throughout your day (like delegation, using timers, etc.).9.    Keep your main goal front and center – consider changing the unlock screen on your phone10. Be the pilot of your day – “The bad news is that time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot!” Bonuses: Reduce overwhelm with this technique and be a better parent, partner, family member, friend, team player – and student!You already know how to do this Connect with Blaine sure to check out his TEDx talk at: https:/www.BlaineTEDx.comGet The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Review the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
In this episode, Dr. Scott Burrus, Provost at United States University chats about the oral defense. TIPS: Keep your presentation clear and concise; use bullet points and not complete sentences.Do a dress rehearsal with your chair. Ask them to quiz you on potential questions and record the meeting so you can refer back to it as you prepare.Once your chair has approved your presentation, practice it both in front of a live audience and alone until you are so comfortable that you are not relying on notes. This might take 10 trials or 50; you will know when you own your presentation.Do not memorize a script. Tell your story using the bullet points on your slides as cues.Practice answers to basic questions like:What was the most surprising finding?What was your biggest challenge, and how did you overcome it?If you had to do this over, what would you do differently?If you had an unlimited budget and time was no issue, what would a qualitative, quantitative, or mixed-methods study look like that could logically follow from your results?What do you believe is the most important practical implication of your research?Summarize your dissertation/doctoral project in 1–3 sentences.Before your defense, practice a grounding exercise to calm your mind and body—humming, Apa Japa, or prayer are great choices. Humming podcast: Japa podcast:’t be discouraged if you are asked to make some edits to your manuscript post-defense.If you do not pass your oral, refer back to Step 3 in the Happy Doc Studnet Handbook ( and when you can respond rather than react, ask your chair for a meeting so you can strategize your plan for passing the next go-round.  Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: Review the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Dr. Jennifer Ducko has been sharing her passion for nursing for nearly 40 years. She is a graduate of the Florence Nightingale school of nursing in London, England, and received her Masters of Science in Nursing Administration from Walden University and her Doctor of Nursing Practice from Aspen University. In this episode,  we discuss her journey and the transformational nature of the doctoral degree. Highlights:1.    Even if you are great at what you do, formal education can significantly and positively impact you and your work.2.    Adopt an open mindset when considering a doctoral program – Is it possible that you just don’t know what you don’t know?3.    Do your research! Make sure your program fits your long-term goals.4.    If you let it, formal education can transform you on a personal level – why not get as much out of the experience as you can and use it as a mechanism to go from GOOD to GREAT!5.    Support is critical – you will need a tribe (see episode: and 6.    Breaks can be a good thing – know yourself and do what you need to take care of YOU! (and listen to:    Communication is imperative – if something seems off or isn’t going as planned communicate this to your faculty. 8.    You must be able to advocate for yourself – a doctoral program often presents with unique challenges, and you must be able to advocate for yourself, when needed.9.    Know your WHY and keep your eyes on the prize. This is a marathon, not a sprint. If your why changes and it’s in your best interest to stop your program, listen to this episode: If you are thinking about going back to school, listen to: Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: http://Expandyourhappy.comSupport this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Watch this episode as a YouTube here: In this episode Dr. William “Memo” Nericcio shares his story as a Chicano attending a PhD program non the East Coast and shares tips on how to be a survivor (and how to help others survive).Highlights:1.     Support from peers is imperative – what happens outside your courses may be just as important to your completion as what happens in your courses.2.    You have an identity outside graduate school – BUT solidarity with your FIELD is what is going to be important to your survival. 3.    Don’t turn your suffering into an epic story; most people in a doctoral program, at some point, deal with feelings of self-doubt, not feeling welcome, etc. 4.    Don’t apologize for being intellectual – embrace it and use that as common ground to relate to your peers as “mates” (strategic essentialism).5.    The University is part of the problem  - but doesn’t need to be.6.    As faculty/administrators supporting students from diverse backgrounds: ·      Be dedicated to bringing the next generation of intellects to the party; be the ladder·      Make an effort to encourage a social dimension to the relationship·      Be brave and be authentic·      Let them know it is safe to be human·      Be respectful and move slowly with care, sensitivity, and kindness·      Reveal your humility ·      Students first; guild secondConnect with Memo "corporate site" for MALAS: home site for MALAS: Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: Review the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
YouTube of this episode: Hince shares how EFT/Tapping can help you find freedom from any emotion that is holding you back – whether that is stress, fear, frustration, or anxiety. Highlights: 1.    Have you ever considered that your past may be holding you back?2.    Situations that naturally occur during doctoral programs often trigger historic emotional experiences.3.    EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique (also called “tapping”) and was created by Gary Craig.4.    EFT/Tapping is a way to release the energy of emotions that reside in our physical bodies; releasing this energy gives you the freedom to be who you were meant to be.5.    Think of EFT/Tapping as a way to release STRESS.6.    It is easy to learn (see videos below) and involves using words while tapping on certain meridian points.7.    EFT/Tapping provides feedback; listen to the sound of your voice to determine when the energy is released. 8.    Be patient. You will need to work in layers, as you release one memory or emotion a new one will likely appear.9.    Don’t be fooled by its simplicity – try it and see for yourself.10.  This method, is a great way to move from reaction to thoughtful response.  Connect with Ann Website: Demo: your Feelings Demo: A Pathway to Insight Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: Review the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
What is more important in your life than your health and wellness?Jill Thiry obtained her MBA from the University of San Francisco and spent decades in high-tech publishing. 9/11 and a transformative week-long stay at Rancho La Puerta in 2002 changed everything. Her work has evolved into an 8-step process that allows you to create easily identified tasks in a way that ensures desired change. Club Change is a place where participants support each another in making the necessary choices to enhance their bodies, minds, spirits, and communities. Highlights: 1.    Life is precious – each moment, each breath and we have the opportunity to choose what we are bringing into our lives 2.    Be conscious of your choices – Just like it’s OK to say YES to new things, it’s OK to say NO, too! 3.    Ask: What is more important than my health and wellness?4.    Self-care is not selfish! The more people who practice self-care the more beautiful our world will be. 5.    Self-care is a time saver (I know, it sounds counterintuitive to “add” something to your already busy schedule BUT try it – you will get more done).6.    Language is important – not “should” but “I get to” and not “busy” but “full” and not “could” but “will” not “goal” but “gift.”7.    Set an alarm at night that signals you to UNPLUG8.    Start by picking ONE thing you can change that will contribute to your wholeness (exercise starts at about the 14-minute mark)9.    8 Steps: Show up for yourself, Think about it, Write it Done, Envision, Choose, Practice, Track, Share10. To create your practice fill in this sentence: I will [practice here] for a minimum of [minutes here] for [number here] times this week.11. Keywords: Kind and achievable (don’t use gray area words – like “more” or “healthier” – be CLEAR on what you are choosing).12. Ask yourself why you make the choices you do.13. When you are whole and centered you are STRONGER in ALL aspects of life: school, family/friends, career, etc. There is nowhere to go but here – and it’s perfect it as it is!Connect with Jill a 10% discount by following these steps:1.     Send Jill an email at  with HAPPYDOC in the subject line. Jill’s team will then manually add you to the class roster and provide you with your discount.   2.     Then contribute the discounted amount via the PayPal Button "Contribute Here” on this page: Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Learn tips, tricks, and techniques for transitioning from coursework to capstone project.Dr. Michelle Whitman holds an Ed.D. in Organizational Leadership with an emphasis in Higher Education and her research interests include servant leadership and teacher efficacy. Not sure of a topic area? Listen to Highlights:1.    Read, read, read in your topic area because it takes time to become an expert (and you MUST be an expert at your oral defense) - the sooner the better!2.    Use every opportunity in every course to engage with your general area – you will prevent a commonly rocky shift from coursework to capstone research3.    Look for meta-analyses or systematic literature reviews in your area – these will give you amazing breadcrumb trails to follow4.    Know who the key leaders are in your field and follow them5.    Keep CURRENT in the research – most of your articles should be recent (find out what “recent” means to your chair/institution – 5-7 years is typical)6.    Adopt an organizational system now (so you can easily access an important article when you are writing your literature review) - this is a huge time saver!7.    Pay attention to (and take note of): Theories in your area AND suggestions for future research - this is a great way to find an idea for your capstone8.    Remember your dissertation/doctoral project needs to be feasible – take cues from your committee, who will help you narrow it down to something doable9.    Find a peer or recent graduate and make them a part of your tribe10. Remember: You are NOT alone. You can do this! And if you still aren’t so sure about that, get The Happy Doc Student Handbook and work through the “I think I want to stop” exercise. Get the book on Amazon: with Michelle:Twitter @ShellyWhitman3IG @webwhitman711Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: Other resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Vanessa Corcoran earned her Ph.D. in medieval history from The Catholic University of America and is currently an advising dean at Georgetown University.In this episode we discuss her new book: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint: My Road to the Marathon and Ph.D.Topics include: 1.     Understanding the intricacies of a doctoral program2.     Recognizing when the voice of doubt is more than imposter syndrome3.     The importance of prioritizing mental health4.     Building a network that will support you5.     The role of “rest days”Connect with VanessaFacebook: @VRCinDCGet Vanessa’s book here: The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
In this episode, I chat with Dr. Alison Miller about the importance of boundaries, productivity, and working in a way that really works for you. Alison received her PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Illinois Chicago. She is an entrepreneur who has built three successful businesses, including the Dissertation Coach in 2000. The Dissertation Coach has helped thousands of graduate students finish their doctoral dissertations and master's theses. The Academic Writers’ Space (TAWS) is an online community designed for academics to get real work done.  Highlights and Tips1.    You have only so many resources; get clear on what is essential and what is “extra.” 2.    When presented with opportunities, evaluate them in terms of your long-term goals - get clear on what you want out of your doctoral program – know your priorities.3.    Having clear boundaries is an act of reverence; honor yourself: “Thank you….AND here is what I am committed to and one of the commitments I’ve made to myself is that I’m not taking on any new projects.”4.    When you try to do everything, you end up doing nothing really well. 5.    We often don’t say “no” due to discomfort and/or the fear of missing out (FOMO) Saying no is a short-term discomfort compared to the long-term discomfort of overwhelm Don’t let FOMO rule you!6.    Not having clear boundaries prevents you from being present with your graduate work – work that demands unified attention. Your dissertation/thesis must be at the center. 7.    You can’t manage time, but you can be a better manager of your commitments by setting clear boundaries (listen to this podcast for more helpful tips: 8.    Recovery and rejuvenation are essential during a doctoral program. 9. Having boundaries within a work session gives you unified attention: Pick one small assignment – surrender to one task (stay in ONE lane) Before you start working – take a deep breath and ask: What am I working on? What am I not working on? Then ask: Who is here? And: Is this compatible with my work? Listen to your body for guidance (FEEL IT), consider your options, and proceed accordingly.10. The doctoral process is a transformative process – use it to expand and grow into a heart-centered person. Connect with Alison:@thedissertationcoach IG@theacademicwritersspace IGThe Dissertation Coach FB@TAWSspace TwitterFree week of membership at The Academic Writers' Space - http://www.theacademicwritersspace.comGet Alison's book Finish Your Dissertation Once and For All: How to Overcome Psychological Barriers, Get Results, and Move On with Your Life: Get The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
On this episode, I welcome William Hall, a nursing educator and doctoral candidate pursuing a DNP at Aspen University.A DNP is an applied terminal degree in nursing (versus a PhD in nursing).  “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” John MaxwellTips:1.     Decide what is important to you: Cost, accreditation, success rates, support.2.     Request information and confirm the program you are considering is a logical step on your career path.3.     This is a huge decision: Dive deep and speak to people in the programs you are considering (social media is great for this – especially LinkedIn).4.     Be prepared for the noticeable shift from course work to your doctoral capstone (dissertation or doctoral project). See episode #9 below .5.     Dissertations/Projects can be derailed by things outside your control– this is why a good relationship with your Chair is critical. 6.     Resiliency is an important trait (and so is grit!).7.     Take a good look at your support system – it is so important.8.     Do your homework and make sure you are choosing the right program. 9.     Use a calendar to keep feelings of overwhelm under control – block time for all the things that are important to you. 10.  Embrace your growth – you will grow during a doctoral program! Episode# 9 The Dissertation Shift with Dr. Todd Fiore: The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
In this episode, I continue the conversation with Dr. Leonard Cassuto,  professor of English at Fordham University.Be sure to listen to episode #53:     Tenure-track jobs are diminishing, so if we teach doctoral students to want those jobs above all other jobs, we are teaching them to be unhappy. 2.     As a doctoral student you MUST be the CEO of your education (and where it lands you).3.     Think about what REALLY interests you (ask: What sparks joy in me?) and then view your doctoral education as a mechanism for gaining skills that will allow you to explore many possibilities on the job market. 4.     You are learning broad and transferable skills - you are becoming an information specialist, you are learning how to teach people things (orally, in the written word, formally, informally) etc.5.     Stop thinking too narrowly when you think about your doctorate (truly the sky is the limit!).6.     Career diversity is about taking the skills you have learned and combining them with a profession that gives you pleasure. Check out Imagine PhD here: https:/ can receive a 30% discount on The New PhD with the code HTWN from the publisher’s site, press.jhu.eduConnect with Len twitter: @LCassuto instagram: l_cassutoGet The Happy Doc Student Handbook here: resources available at: Support this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
In this episode, Dr. Max Lempriere discusses the Imposter Syndrome, perfectionism, and the need for community. Max has a PhD in political science from the University of Birmingham. As the owner of the PhD people, he has created an online community platform that offers guidance, mentorship, support and training to students from all around the world.Highlights:1.    Imposter syndrome is real. Very, very real (oh, and not just among doc students!)2.    Do not suffer in silence – find a community and get support.3.    Nothing is perfect, including your dissertation/doctoral project. Be ready to let some of that perfectionism go.4.    The academy was built on critique – try not to take feedback personally (think of it as a gift given to you by people who want you to succeed).5.    The doctoral process is teaching you skills that will serve you post degree – like resilience, project management skills, the ability to distill complex information, think critically, the list goes on and on!6.    Embrace your humility – it will take you far.7.    You are becoming a peer and the faculty working with you want you to succeed.8.    Sometimes the best thing to do is NOTHING (and yes, naps are OK!)9.    There is POWER in a cohort - get connected – whether via your university, a social media group, or the PhD people (you’ll be glad you did!)10.  It’s worth repeating: Your dissertation or doc project will never be perfect. Remember: it is a doctoral degree you are getting, not the noble prize!Connect with Max and the PhD people:@thephdpeopleThePhDPeople.comResources available at: http://Expandyourhappy.comHappy Doc Student Swag: http://Expandyourhappy.comSupport this free content by treating Heather to a yummy green tea: Review the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Watch this on YouTube: the book here: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Are you HyperCompetent? Take the assessment here: you too good at getting things done for your own good?  Working harder does not mean working smarter!Do you feel like working so much is getting in your way of experiencing joy? Highlights1.     You can never get everything done - staying in a hypercompetent mode will result in you getting less and less done (you know it is true!)2.     Possible driving factors: Do you feel like you aren’t enough and so perhaps working so hard to overcome this feeling? Were you raised by a narcissist?  Do you work to numb out?3.     Balance is elusive – it’s ok to be ok with just doing your best!4.     Can you let things go? Can you delegate?5.     Give from the saucer, not the cup!6.     Make a plan to have no plan and take the Creative Renewal challenge: Can you commit to do nothing for an hour each week?7.     When you have the “I-don’t-wannas” it is a sign your cup is empty – stop and fill up your cup. Debra Woog obtained her MBA from the MIT Sloan School of Management. She is a Crisis Navigation Partner™ with over 30 years of experience as a leadership researcher, executive, and advisor. The Boston Globe profiled Debra for her outstanding abilities to select talented candidates, motivate and develop employees, and resolve conflicts between people as well as between organizations. Her work has been featured in publications like Forbes, Inc. and U.S. News & World Report.Episode #55: The 3 C’s of Navigating Crisis with Debra Woog, MBA with Debra your Happy Doc Student Swag: this free content and keep Heather going with a yummy green tea: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
Dr. Megan Just-Mancini shares how we can A.C.E. not just parenting, but navigating the current state of the world.“All behavior is an expression of a need.” Megan is a Registered Psychologist who supports individuals and families affected by mental health-related challenges. She has experience working with diverse groups in the United States and Canada in educational, in-patient, out-patient, and private care settings. Breath Exercise  - Find the GapFocus on the space, the gap, between your inhalation and exhalation. Taking time to attune to your kids’ emotions can save you time (and your sanity) and teaches them to self-regulate. Highlights: 1.     Reward systems have value, but if they aren’t working for you, maybe it’s time to try something different2.     Words are powerful – are you using language that is stigmatizing?3.     We all have basic needs as hypothesized by Self Determination Theory (see Deci & Ryan): ·      Autonomy (“I can do this on my own”)·      Competence (“I’ve got the ability to do this”)·      Relatedness (“I am unconditionally loved no matter what and I can reciprocate that love”)4.     If needs are not met, people will act in a way to try to get them met5.     When you fill needs, you promote emotional regulation and inhibitory control and reduce undesirable behaviors6.     Think about behaviors on a continuum (undesirable to more desirable) 7.     Think about parenting on a continuum (less to more growth-orientated) rather than good/bad 8.     Tough days happen, it’s OK!  just hit the nail on the head 30% or more of the time ("good enough parenting")10.  I can ACE parenting:·      A = Attunement. Being able to connect with your child’s needs (and yours!). Look underneath the behavior, then validate the emotion so you fill their love cup and model self-regulation. ·      C = Consistency and predictability. How you respond most of the time (no one is perfect!). This creates a safe haven for your kids.·      E = Empathy. Be empathic to the child and yourself! Just try your best.11.  If you mess up (it happens) -  repair it. All parties need to be calm. Then sit, share, and  LISTEN. Take responsibility  -  this sends the message: We can screw up as a family, but we have unconditional love and we can come back together and move beyond this.12.  Do you have COVID-related compassion? Does the world look different when you know that all behavior is an expression of a need?Connect with Megan: Megan Just-Mancini’s Doc Project:  Parenting practices that promote early childhood inhibitory control and emotional regulation Resources available at: http://Expandyourhappy.comHappy Doc Student Swag: http://Expandyourhappy.comSupport this free content: the Happy Doc Student Handbook here:
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