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In 1991 a young Kid Rock was dropped from Jive Records following the absolute flop of his debut record. Determined to make it back to the top, he spent the next 7 years hustling his music in the Detroit underground scene. This is the story of those formative but little-understood years, the period when Kid Rock transformed himself into the rhyme-spittin', rock-n-roll redneck that ultimately became famous. DID YOU KNOW:--One of Kid Rock's important musical breaks began with a stint as a studio janitor--Kid Rock has an "Oedipus Complex," although we're not really sure he understands what that means...--You can buy used panties online. Just don't ask us where. Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
Kid Rock's cringe stands in a class of its own. In his 30-plus year career he's inhabited numerous forms -- from Detroit B-Boy to Trailer Park Pimp to Fox News Grandpa -- each more ridiculous than the last. But who is the man behind all these personae? That is what we aim to uncover in our ambitious five-part exploration of The History of Rock!In Part I we examine Kid Rock's origins; not in a Detroit ghetto or double wide trailer but in the comfortable suburb of Romeo, Michigan. There a young Bob Ritchie discovers a passion for hip-hop and propels himself to surprising success in a relatively short period, before it all comes crashing down...DID YOU KNOW???--Kid Rock's major label debut came out in 1990, 8 years before "Devil Without a Cause"??--One track on said debut album was so dirty that a radio station got fined over $20,000 for playing it on air--Nick's parents probably should have been paying more attention to his music consumption Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope lead the Juggalos into the New Millennium with the long-anticipated release of the 6th Joker's Card, the one that was supposed to herald The End Times... but what ICP actually revealed shocked and confused Juggalos the world over!We also follow our boys further into the 2000s, where they continued to serve the Juggalo faithful with new Dark Carnival bangers, including the most infamous ICP song of all, "Miracles." That's right, we're finally talking about your favorite song!! Is this genuinely the dumbest track ever composed or is there perhaps more to the story? CAN WE ACTUALLY LEARN HOW MAGNETS WORK?? Stick around and find out! Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
How can we possibly cover Insane Clown Posse without a full examination of the annual shitshow they birthed into existence? For over 20 years The Gathering of the Juggalos has put all other music festivals to shame in terms of the sheer quantity of drugs consumed, nudity displayed, and overall insanity laid bare for all mankind. In this episode we'll give you a comprehensive guide to all things Gathering; from its wacky history to its various carnival attractions, the surprising amount of rap legends who have played there, the legendary Tila Tequila incident, and some good old fashioned stories of Juggalos fucking themselves with glowsticks... Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
The demented saga of ICP continues as our heroes J & Shaggy finally get called to the big leagues with a major record label contract. However, this soon proves a Faustian bargain as the Posse get repeatedly fucked over by corporate suits, including a dramatic and highly-publicized dispute with Disney. Nevertheless, the mid-to-late 90s were Prime Time for ICP as they packed sold-out stadiums, beat up strangers at Waffle House, performed at Woodstock '99, and actually put out some genuinely great music. Buckle up, ninjas! Our twisted Dark Carnival ride has just barely begun...DID YOU KNOW...--Ellen DeGeneres indirectly had a major impact on ICP's career??--Juggalo heaven has Faygo on tap??--Cal & Nick's hometown very nearly became a Clown Town?? Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
We're back like a vertebrae for Part II of our in-depth history of America's favorite psychopathic clowns! In this episode we'll cover the band's progress in the early 90s, when they established many of the traits that would come to define their unique aesthetic. This includes their affinity for Faygo, the coining of the term "Juggalo," and most especially the concept of the "Dark Carnival" -- the esoteric spirituality that guides all of ICP's music. Indeed, far from the deranged ramblings of two Detroit thugs, the Posse's songs contain layered messages that warn Juggalos against a life of sin... sometimes. Other times they'll just rap about beating up women and scratching the bugs off their nuts.  Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
WHOOP WHOOP!! We're finally getting around to the group that proudly calls itself "The Most Hated Band in the World." For decades ICP have been adored by their fans and reviled by the establishment at levels that seem equally deranged. But what is the actual truth about this band? How did two high school dropouts from Detroit basically create an entire subculture, and is it really as scary and repulsive as people think?In the first of an epic series, we'll walk you through an Evil Clown origin story that puts The Joker to shame. From growing up in poverty and rising above all sorts of abuse, criminality and hopelessness, the protagonists of our saga planted the seeds that will one day sprout into a wicked Juggalo empire... Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
In this special minisode, we catch up with new releases by old favorites including Nickelback, Limp Bizkit, Five Finger Death Punch, and more! What have these goofballs been up to? Turns out some pretty zany stuff! Come join us on a relaxed fit episode free from Nick's excessive over-writing and pontificating (for the most part).DID YOU KNOW??--Fred Durst volunteered to help with Twitter (and perhaps Elon Musk should have listened)?--Five Finger Death Punch singer Ivan Moody threatened to retire from metal music?--Billy Ray Cyrus has a new love and the details are... um... well let's just not talk about it here.FOLLOW NICK'S TRAVEL BLOG SIDE PROJECT:, I do realize that Lil Peep is dead. I'm sorry for bringing him up like that. R.I.P., homie).  Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
Having overcome the obstacles of a broken home and an uneasy path to success, Good Charlotte are now one of the most popular bands in America. But herein lies a paradox: how does a band that rose to prominence by ripping on Rich & Famous celebrities stay cool now that they're fully enmeshed in Hollywood culture?The answer was not always clear, and throughout the late 2000s and 2010s the boys from Maryland struggled to remain relevant as their audience slowly shrank. Join us as we process the side of Good Charlotte's career most people don't know about, as well as some of their strange personal episodes such as Joel Madden's decidedly creepy relationship with teenage pop star Hillary Duff.  Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
We're back to tell the story of one of the most obnoxious and omnipresent pop-punk bands of the 2000s! Are Good Charlotte a true punk band? Are they a bunch of pretty-boy poseurs? Whatever the case these young lads from Maryland emerged from a troubled home with big dreams that they brought to life through the novel creation of a musical project that - in their own words - fused "the Backstreet Boys and Minor Threat". It's a good story and we managed to tell it with fewer pointless digressions than usual this time. [P.S. Sorry about the occasional cough. Nick had just gotten over pneumonia). Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
To conclude our series we embark on a long and painful examination of Kid Rock's final form: Embittered Fox News Grandpa. How did this once apolitical singer become one of rock and roll's foremost MAGA cheerleaders? Does he really believe all the bigoted Right Wing nonsense he espouses? As is often the case, the answer is much more complicated than you think. Join us as we embark on a painfully hilarious inquiry into the history of Kid Rock's politics. This information will come in quite handy when Ivanka Trump installs him as our future Emperor...DID YOU KNOW??--Kid Rock wasn't always as anti-mask as he likes to pretend.--Donald Trump may  have shared sensitive intel with Kid Rock when he visited the White House.--"In the City!" It was "In the City" by the Eagles!! Wait, what were we talking about?? Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
It's the New Millennium baby, and Kid Rock is up to some shenanigans. He's trying different things, he's smoking funny things. He's crooning with Sheryl Crow and Hank Williams, Jr. He's dating Pam Anderson and beating up Waffle House patrons. But most of all he's doing what he does best: acting like a big asshole while stealing other people's music!Welcome to the wild world of Kid Rock's "country" phase. We dive deep into this bizarre and musically eclectic period that sees Bob Ritchie desperately rework his style and image in order to appeal to Redneck America. But will it work?? Listen up and find out! DID YOU KNOW??--The movie "Borat" caused some major friction in Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson's (brief) marriage--The track that became "All Summer Long" was originally intended as a throwaway CD single for the Gathering of the Juggalos--Cal seems pretty confident he can beat up Kid Rock IRL Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
For this year's Holiday Special, Cal takes the reigns as we count down the worst-ranked Christmas songs in recorded history (at least according to the internet). Everyone from Paul McCartney to Justin Bieber to Odd Future falls in our crosshairs! Who will be crowned as the Lord and Savior of Christmas Turds? Listen and find out! Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! In this surprise minisode, Cal & Nick carve up the bizarre Turkey Day anthem "Alice's Restaurant" by Arlo Guthrie. Join us as we sip whiskey colas and ponder why this rambling, 18-minute folk song became a Thanksgiving tradition. DID YOU KNOW??--"Alice's Restaurant" was based an actual events in Arlo Guthrie's life, including an arrest for littering which may have helped him avoid the Vietnam draft...--Arlo's father, the legendary Woody Guthrie, wrote a diss track against Donald Trump's dad back in 1954...--There truly isn't ever more in the back...We're thankful for all the love and support you've given us over the past two years. Enjoy! Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
In our final installment of the Black Eyed Peas trilogy, we watch the band descend to new depths of vapid, pandering dance music. We review their much-maligned Super Bowl performance as well as the lesser-known-but-equally-perplexing Black Eyed Peas video game. Is this truly the most insufferable era of BEP's career, or are Cal and Nick simply 2000-late?DID YOU KNOW?? got one of his songs played on Mars? No, seriously...--For a very brief period in the late 2010s Black Eyed Peas actually decided to make good music again..--Cal has some hot takes on the popular children's TV show Bluey... Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
After years of grinding in obscurity, the Black Eyed Peas finally hit it big thanks to a handful of catchy pop hits as well as the addition of new member Fergie. But did they compromise too much of their soul to get to the top? Cal & Nick discuss the thorny nature of BEP's pivot toward commercialism in the 2000s.DID YOU KNOW??--"Let's Get it Started" once had a much more offensive title, and it was arguably changed for all the wrong reasons...--"My Humps" is actually a feminist anthem (at least according to has no problem telling someone to "go away" at Portillo's...These  and other ear-popping facts in Part II of our Black Eyed Peas trilogy!Phunk with our social media:  Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: Twitter: @polishing_turds email: Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
Before they were superstars, they were three dudes from the rough streets of L.A. Before their songs flooded the airwaves, they had to hustle to get anyone to notice them. Before they became a Verizon-sponsored Death Star of capitalism, they preached soul, positivity, and the value of skill over money. In the first of a three-part series, we trace the surprising origins of a group that would become one of the most ubiquitous (and hated) bands of their generation, all the while pondering a tricky question: "What does it mean to sell out?"Follow us on social media:  Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: Twitter: @polishing_turds email: Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
#28: VIPER

#28: VIPER


Taking a break from covering the life and times of Artists You've Actually Heard Of, Cal & Nick meander through the bizarre and drugged-out world of Viper; perhaps the greatest Meme Rapper of all time. Viper got famous for his 2008 song "You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack" (no, that's not a typo), and went on to self-release music at a pace that simply defies the imagination. His music sounds like the fever dream of a lobotomized mental patient. He is a musician and hustler, a gansta and a clown, a genius and a madman. I won't say any more. Just listen. YOU'LL COWARDS DON'T EVEN FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: Facebook: polishing.turdsTwitter: @polishing_turdsEmail: polishingturdspodcast@gmail.comSupplemental material:Offering statement for Viper's company, FreeMoversInc: Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
Just when it seemed that Milli Vanilli couldn't ascend any higher, everything comes crashing down as the world learns the whole project was a sham. Rob & Fab are crucified by the media, and the scandal produces an ugly series of backstabbing and lawsuits. In the wake of this disaster, both Rob & Fab and Frank Farian will try to revive their music careers, the results of which are... well... interesting. For certain parties, however, the scars of the scandal are too deep to overcome, and the story ultimately turns from comedy to tragedy...This shit gets REAL, folks. You definitely don't wanna miss out!Do the Next Right Thing and follow us on social media:Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: Twitter: @polishing_turds email: Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
In 1988 two aspiring singers were plucked out of obscurity by a well-known German producer. This producer was starting a new band and told the two they'd be a perfect fit to front the project. Only after signing a contract did the singers learn the terrible catch: they wouldn't actually be performing on the record...Thus began the most infamous lip syncing scandal in music history. Cal & Nick break down the full story in all its bizarre and seedy dimensions, all the while laughing like children at some frankly ridiculous music.(We apologize for the unusually high amount of chair creaks and mic bumps in this episode.)Baby, Don't Forget Our Number: Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: Twitter: @polishing_turds email: Instagram: polishing.turds Facebook: "X" lol: @polishing_turds email:
Comments (1)

Rory Simpson

God damnit guys, when you're giving examples of bad music, you shouldn't play half the fucking track.

May 24th
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