Transcending Trauma ® with Moniquea Spiteri

What if menopause isn't just about hormonal changes, but also about questioning who we've become and rediscovering who we really are? For many women, midlife brings more than hot flushes, disrupted sleep and shifting hormones. It can also be a time when long-held patterns, suppressed emotions, unresolved stress, trauma and questions of identity begin to surface. In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea Spiteri is joined by Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, NLP Nervous System Coach and Somatic Integration & Trauma Therapist Sally Stower to explore menopause through a different lens. Sally introduces her theory of the menopause "bottleneck", the idea that midlife can bring accumulated stress, emotional patterns and traumatic past experiences into sharper focus, particularly as our capacity to keep pushing through begins to change. Together, we explore menopause as an important threshold and rite of passage, a time to question old expectations, reconnect with the wisdom of the body and reclaim our sense of identity, authority and personal power. And then there's Sally's theory around the "Fuck You" fight response. That moment in midlife when women may find themselves less willing to tolerate what they've spent decades accommodating. But is this simply anger, or could it be an invitation to recognise our boundaries, needs and authentic selves? Drawing on Somatic Experiencing, nervous system science, personal experience and therapeutic practice, Moniquea and Sally explore the difference between releasing emotions and developing the capacity to work with them. In this conversation, we explore: Menopause as a biological transition and a possible psychological turning point. The menopause "bottleneck" and Sally's theory of accumulated stress, emotions and trauma. How nervous system adaptations can influence our experience of midlife. The difference between nervous system regulation and building capacity. Identity, conditioning and the roles women have learned to fulfil. Reimagining menopause as a rite of passage and the hero's journey. The wisdom of becoming an elder rather than simply growing older. The growing commercialisation of menopause. The "Fuck You" fight response, boundaries and reclaiming personal power. Why emotional catharsis isn't necessarily the same as lasting change. Rediscovering authenticity, agency and a deeper connection with ourselves. This conversation isn't about suggesting that every menopausal symptom is rooted in trauma, or that women should simply embrace what can be a genuinely difficult biological transition. It's about making room for a broader conversation, one that honours the body, acknowledges the importance of medical care and recognises the possibilities for personal growth during this stage of life. Because perhaps midlife isn't about becoming someone entirely new. Perhaps it's about finally giving ourselves permission to be who we've always been. About Sally Stower Sally Stower is a Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner, NLP Nervous System Coach and Somatic Integration & Trauma Therapist with over 12 years of experience in private practice. Her work supports people to develop greater nervous system capacity, resilience, self-connection and personal agency. Her professional background spans senior corporate management and international humanitarian work, including supporting survivors of sex trafficking in Nepal and communities in South Sudan. At the heart of Sally's approach is a belief in our capacity to live fully, courageously and authentically. Connect with Sally Stower here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sally-stower-5233a28/ Connect with Transcending Trauma® Hosted by Moniquea Spiteri, Somatic Psychotherapist and Somatic Experiencing® Practitioner. Explore more episodes and resources: https://moniqueaspiteri.com/podcast Transcending Trauma®, where science, story and soul unite. Note: This episode is for education and reflection and does not replace individual medical or psychological advice. Sally's menopause "bottleneck" and "Fuck You gene" are conceptual frameworks, not established medical diagnoses.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When trauma awareness starts turning ordinary human experiences into something that needs healing. Have we become so uncomfortable with distress that we've started calling it trauma? Trauma awareness has changed the way we understand ourselves, our relationships and the impact of difficult experiences. But has the word trauma become so widely used that we're beginning to lose sight of what it actually means? In this episode of Transcending Trauma®, somatic psychotherapist Moniquea Spiteri returns with another Hot Topic, questioning whether we're starting to pathologise the ordinary challenges of being human. Not everything that hurts us is trauma. Sometimes we're grieving, disappointed, rejected or simply having a very human response to a difficult experience. And that doesn't make our suffering any less real. Drawing on over 20 years of experience working with trauma, Moniquea explores the difference between distress and trauma, how therapeutic language has become part of everyday conversation, and what happens when we begin to define ourselves through our wounds, attachment styles and nervous-system responses. She also challenges the idea that feeling triggered automatically means someone has harmed us, and asks whether constantly searching for trauma might actually limit our confidence in our ability to navigate life's challenges. Your pain doesn't need a trauma label to be real. This isn't about dismissing trauma or minimising anyone's experience. It's about bringing greater understanding, curiosity and nuance back into the conversation. Because perhaps being trauma-informed doesn't mean seeing trauma everywhere. And perhaps healing also means discovering who we are beyond what happened to us. So, are we overusing the word trauma? Have a listen and join the conversation. I'd love to hear your thoughts, even if you disagree! Coming next: Hot Topic #3, Your Trigger Isn't Always Telling You the Truth. Explore more episodes and learn about Moniquea's work at https://moniqueaspiteri.com/podcast Transcending Trauma Where science, story and soul unite.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when the very qualities that helped you survive become the patterns that keep you stuck? In this episode of Season 3, Moniquea Spiteri returns to guest interviews with Benjamin Ahn, former US Navy SEAL, international corporate executive and founder of Nomena, a medically supervised ibogaine retreat sanctuary in Southeast Asia. Ben's journey has taken him from a childhood shaped by trauma to the intense world of elite military service, followed by more than fifteen years of corporate leadership. But beneath the achievements was a deeper personal journey that eventually led him to explore psychedelic medicine and the transformative potential of ibogaine. Together, Moniquea and Ben explore the relationship between trauma, survival adaptations, identity and the emerging field of psychedelic-assisted healing. In this conversation, we explore: How childhood survival patterns can shape our identity, relationships and drive to succeed. The mindset of elite military personnel and the challenges of moving beyond a life built around endurance and control. What ibogaine is, how people describe the experience and why it's attracting interest in trauma recovery. The importance of medical supervision, safety and responsible psychedelic practice. Why profound insights don't automatically translate into lasting change. The role of integration, somatic awareness and nervous system work in supporting meaningful transformation. What it really means to move beyond survival and reconnect with who we are. As a somatic psychotherapist and psychedelic-assisted therapy practitioner, Moniquea brings a body-centred perspective to the conversation, exploring an important question: Can a powerful psychedelic experience create lasting change, or does the deeper work begin when the experience ends? This episode isn't just about ibogaine. It's about the ways we learn to survive, the identities we build around those adaptations, and what becomes possible when we begin to live differently. About Benjamin Ahn Benjamin Ahn is the founder of Nomena and an advocate for the responsible, medically supervised use of ibogaine. A former US Navy SEAL who served in Iraq with SEAL Team 3, Ben later spent more than fifteen years in international corporate leadership before moving into the psychedelic retreat space. Learn more about Nomena: https://www.nomena.life Connect with Transcending Trauma Explore more episodes and resources: https://moniqueaspiteri.com/podcast Disclaimer: This episode is for education and discussion only and does not constitute medical advice or an endorsement of ibogaine treatment. Ibogaine carries significant medical risks, including potentially life-threatening cardiac complications, and remains an investigational treatment for trauma-related conditions.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What If You Don’t Need to Be More Regulated?When nervous-system healing becomes another form of self-control... What if our obsession with nervous-system regulation is actually becoming another form of hypervigilance? Welcome to a new chapter of Transcending Trauma®. Following the educational journey of Season 2, Moniquea Spiteri is shaking things up with a new series of Hot Topics — conversations that challenge some of the ideas we've come to accept about trauma, healing and the nervous system. In this first episode, Moniquea asks whether our constant pursuit of regulation is making us less tolerant of the normal discomfort that comes with being human. When did healing start to mean being calm all the time? And have we turned nervous-system awareness into yet another way of monitoring and trying to fix ourselves? Drawing on her experience as a somatic psychotherapist, Moniquea explores the difference between regulation and capacity, how hypervigilance can disguise itself as self-improvement, and why discomfort doesn't always mean we're unsafe. She also looks at the role of relationships, co-regulation and hyper-independence — and why a healthy nervous system isn't one that never gets activated, but one that has the flexibility to move, respond and recover. Perhaps healing isn't about feeling less. Perhaps it's about developing the capacity to experience more of life without losing ourselves in the process. If this episode gets you thinking, join the conversation. Share your thoughts, leave a review or send it to someone who might see nervous-system regulation a little differently. Coming next: Are We Overusing the Word Trauma? Discover more about Moniquea's work, somatic psychotherapy and Transcending Trauma® at www.moniqueaspiteri.com Transcending Trauma® — Where science, story and soul unite.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dissociation is often described as disconnection, but it is also an intelligent survival response. It can occur when an experience feels too overwhelming, threatening or inescapable for the nervous system to process in the moment. The body remains present, but some part of our awareness moves away. For many people, this does not look dramatic. It may appear as emotional numbness, memory gaps, feeling unreal, losing time, living on autopilot or functioning well while feeling strangely absent from your own life. In this episode of Transcending Trauma, Moniquea explores the protective intelligence of dissociation and the many ways it can shape our relationship with the body, memory, identity, attachment and connection. You’ll learn about: • Functional dissociation and why it can be difficult to recognise• Depersonalisation and derealisation• The relationship between dissociation, freeze and hidden activation• How attachment wounds can contribute to relational disconnection• Why healing cannot be achieved by forcing someone back into their body• Gentle ways to build orientation, safety and present-moment connection This episode also marks a new chapter for Transcending Trauma. Following the completion of the previous podcast series, the conversation is opening into individual topic discussions, education and future guest conversations exploring trauma, nervous system healing and embodied transformation. Dissociation is not evidence that you are broken. It may be evidence of how intelligently your system helped you survive when remaining fully present was simply too much.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.