Reuben Recommends

This is a recording of a live talk I gave at a tech company called Kaluza. If you'd like to book me to give a talk at your company or charity you can reach me on reubenwachs@gmail.comEverything I talk about is linked below:RESOURCESCounselling Directory - https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/4 Pillar Plan - Dr Rangan ChatterjeeThe Stress Solution - Dr Rangan ChatterjeeStutz - Netflix Yoga with Kassandra playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTwHow to deal with anxiety - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j25dBJHuvJc&t=149sHow to help someone else with anxiety and panic attacks - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1EEcYJaTD0&t=66sQUOTES ON SELF ‘How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want.’ Tim Ferris from a coach he knows ‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate’ - Carl Jung‘How close or far we are with ourselves is how close or far we will be in our relationships’ - Dr Nicole LePera ‘Men are not moved by things but the views which they take of them’ - Epictetus WORK QUOTES “Your lack of preparation is not my emergency” - Tim Ferriss‘What would this look like if it was easy.’ - Tim Ferriss‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham

Everything I talk about is linked below:RESOURCES Counselling Directory - https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/4 Pillar Plan - Dr Rangan ChatterjeeThe Stress Solution - Dr Rangan ChatterjeeStutz - Netflix Yoga with Kassandra playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTwHow to deal with anxiety - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j25dBJHuvJc&t=149sHow to help someone else with anxiety and panic attacks - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1EEcYJaTD0&t=66sQUOTES ON SELF ‘How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want.’ Tim Ferris from a coach he knows ‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate’ - Carl Jung ‘How close or far we are with ourselves is how close or far we will be in our relationships’ - Dr Nicole LePera ‘Men are not moved by things but the views which they take of them’ - Epictetus WORK QUOTES “Your lack of preparation is not my emergency” - Tim Ferriss ‘What would this look like if it was easy.’ - Tim Ferriss ‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham

Hey I hope you all enjoyed the talk I gave at CAE Technology on Point. Here is the list with everything I mentioned in the talk:RESOURCES:4 Pillar Plan - Dr Rangan ChatterjeeThe Stress Solution - Dr Rangan Chatterjee Stutz - Netflix Yoga with Kassandra playlist - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTwHow to deal with anxiety - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j25dBJHuvJc&t=149sHow to help someone else with anxiety and panic attacks - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1EEcYJaTD0&t=66s QUOTES ON SELF:‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate’ - Carl Jung ‘How close or far we are with ourselves is how close or far we will be in our relationships’ - Dr Nicole LePera ‘How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want.’ Tim Ferris from a coach he knows ‘Men are not moved by things but the views which they take of them’ - Epictetus WORK QUOTES:“Your lack of preparation is not my emergency” - Tim Ferriss ‘What would this look like if it was easy.’ - Tim Ferriss ‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham

Happy 2023 everyone and I hope you enjoy the video!       After watching, if you're interested at all and you’ve got any questions such as, why not just vegetarian instead of vegan? Or where do you get your protein from? Then please feel free to message me and ask        You can find the things I mentioned below:         The Game Changers - Netflix        Earthling Ed’s Ted Talk - Arguments Against Veganism - Youtube        A Meat Eater’s Case For Veganism - Youtube        Gousto        Sending you all big love!

Hi and welcome to the Annual Reuben Awards where I give you my top recommendations for 2023! Here is everything that is mentioned in the podcast!Best Non-Fiction No bad parts - Richard Schwartz Stolen focus - Johann Harri Best Fantasy Lord of the silver boy (Troy) - David Gammel The Blade Itself - Joe Abercrombie Sci-Fi Speaker of the dead - Orsen Scott Wells Best Comedy/enjoyable Book And away… - Bob Mortimer First Person Singlular - Murakami Overal best Book First Person Singlular - Murakami No Bad Parts - Richard SchwartzBest Podcast Sam Harris Waking UpHey riddle riddle Best film: Letterboxd Everything Everywhere All At Once Top Gun Maverick The Last DuelCODA The King Best documentary StutzTim’s Vermeer The Making of ArcaneSeries: Severance Arcane Cheer Best album: Low Island - If You could have it all againKhruangbin - Mordechai Best video: Guy knocking down dominos https://twitter.com/OnlyZans/status/1569416356839280640Best idea or concept Top Idea in Your Mind Taking action Triangle of life Best purchase Blackout eye mask Most important change in my life Switching departments at workTaking actionTop idea in your mind Favourite fact Griezman having 3 separate kids born on the same day NASA mission controllers for the Apollo mission - their average age was 21 when the mission started and when they did the impossible they were an average of 28 Favourite quote FEEL THE FEAR...AND DO IT ANYWAYOften we think, 'I'll do it when I am not so afraid.' But in reality, it works the other way round. The 'doing it' comes before the fear goes away. The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. The Five Truths about FearThe fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out... and do it!The only way to feel better about myself is to go out... and do it!Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I am on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from feeling helplessness.I'll Handle It! ---- Susan JeffersAutobiography in Five Short Chapters Written by Portia Nelson ‘Be careful what you let become critical to you. Try to get yourself into situations where the most urgent problems are ones you want to think about.’ - Paul Graham‘Animals are my friends, and I don’t eat my friends’ - George Bernard Shaw“I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.” — Attributed to Rabindranath Tagore‘It is perfectly human to be afraid and, while afraid, that one is still obliged to live one’s life and to undertake one’s journey.’ (Hollis, 1994 p. 90)Robert Hilleger says, ‘Shame started as a two-person experience, But as I got older I learned to do shame all by myself.”

Welcome to my first edition of What Have I Learned This Month?In this episode, I talk about:Limits on your emotionsThe importance of releasing angerThe power of the groupAcceptanceReceiving compliments How it can only takes a couple times to become much more comfortable with somethingFeedbackNot judging othersI hope you enjoy!

Today I discuss Paul Graham's blog post 'The Top Idea In Your Mind' and how what we naturally drift to in the shower is more important than you thinkI also spend a few minutes covering perfectionism and our journey as human's and therapy clientsSubscribe to know when the next monthly episode comes out I hope you enjoy!

In today's episode with Catherin Llewellyn, we talk about:Blame When we hold other people accountable for our sufferingWhen we need everything to be right to feel joy?How people learn from who they decide to learn from How to facilitate others growth And building resilience I hope you enjoy!You can find Catherine's work and contact details at:Website: Yesyounow.todayPodcast: Truth & Transcendence E-book - What is Humanistic Coaching and Why do we Care? https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Humanistic-Coaching-Why-Care-ebook/dp/B01BYNJNYK/ref=sr_1_3?crid=2NSJVB4PS63TW&keywords=humanistic+coaching&qid=1651498905&s=books&sprefix=humanistic+coaching,stripbooks,106&sr=1-3I hope you enjoy!

In this episode Amy takes us through an exercise called a Should Detox. Working on how we speak to ourselves and others can drastically change our lives and I think you'll all enjoy what Amy brings here. You can find her at www.wholeheartedaf.comor at wholehearted.af on instagramEnjoy!

Today we're talking about why you should consider choosing joy and play in your everyday decisions and in your weekly and monthly plans. Play is a fundamental way that we create joy in our lives and it is often one of the fastest ways into creating great relationships. I believe that this is an essential part of life that we miss out on when talking about our health and happiness and I was glad to hear Amy's thoughts on how to bring it more into our lives. Amy Guerrier is a play facilitator and practitioner, as well as being a renowned coach. You can find out more about her at www.wholeheartedaf.com and at wholehearted.af on instagram, where you can reach out to her for 1-2-1 or group coaching. It was a joy to talk with Amy and I hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did. Have a great May!

*Disclaimer* - Talk of childhood sexual abuse in this episode. Please take care of yourself if you feel that this may bring up things for you. This recording is from a presentation I gave on my counselling training about the impact of trauma in the therapy room. In it I discuss:TraumaShameTreatmentSplittingDissociationand Projective Identification. I hope that the episode is useful

This week we discuss the unspoken silence of men's suffering. We cover a ton of ground and we really hope that you enjoy the episode. To find out more about Nick and his fantastic events, you can find him on facebook at:Brothership Connection: https://www.facebook.com/groups/668263904528233/and at his website: https://www.nicholasmalin.com/online-group-work/The two books I recommend are:Under Saturn's Shadow by James Hollis and The Truth by Neil Strauss Enjoy!

Welcome to the first Annual Reuben Awards. Here is everything that is mentioned in the episode!Best Non-Fiction Book:Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrists Memoir by Irvin YalomBest Fiction Book:Schopenhaur’s Cure by Irvin YalomWhen Nietzsche Wept Irvin YalomMonma and The Meaning of Life: Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom Best Comedy Book:Round Ireland With A Fridge by Tony HawksMost Useful Book:A Complaint Free World by Will BowenOveral best Book:The Schopenhauer Cure - Irvin Yalom Best Podcast:Hey Riddle Riddle Dungeons and DaddiesArmchair ExpertTim Ferriss showBest film: Bo Burnham - InsideThe KingJojo RabbitBest Series: Ted LassoLove on the Spectrum Best album: Kacy Hill - Is It Selfish If We Talk About Me AgainBest video: Chris D’Elia reacts to Hilarious You spin me right round Jesus cover - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sky-iP-j4iIChris D’Elia reacts to most Italian family ever - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4vza3UdJP4Best idea or concept:Free Will by Sam HarrisLying by Sam HarrisJon Hopkins - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozWfP91RXkMBest Purchase over £100:Subpac - https://subpac.com/what-is-the-subpac/Best purchase under £100:AirPodsMost important change in my life:Yoga - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTwFavourite Fact:Valcono in 1815 caused year with no summer in 1816 which lead to the price of oats going so high that loads of horses died and indirectly lead to the invention of the bicycleFavourite Quote:“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before beginning to improve the world.”- Anne FrankHave a wonderful 2022

Hi everyone, I have decided to share my live appearance on the Delightful Dissent Podcast with Matthew Bellringer. In this podcast we discuss the accusation of 'you've changed' and also how we should desire people to change. We also cover how we should be using the eastern view of compassion and acceptance to bring about positive change. I hope you enjoy the conversation!

Is it possible to help someone who doesn't want help? In today's episode I am going to share with you some ways that will hopefully shed some light on this idea. I cover: Why they may not want to get helpHow to communicate with them through the LEAP methodWhat to do when you finally offer helpand How to work on yourself to improve your chances Thanks to Dr Xavier Amador and his book I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help for the amazing work. Enjoy!

In this episode I recommend: Becoming Myself by Irvin YalomWhen Nietzsche Wept by Irvin YalomThe Lazarus Heist podcastTed LassoInside by Bo Burnham Funny Dreams podcastand then I share two fun facts and two lovely quotes. Have a wonderful October

Hey there, a reminder that this is the second half of the Life Script podcast, so if you haven't had a chance to listen to that first, I'd highly recommend you jump back to episode #7 and then you'll be able to enjoy this one even more. In the second half of Life Scripts, we cover the 6 script patterns of:UntilAfterAlwaysNeverAlmost 1 & 2Open EndedAnd the 5 main drivers:Be PerfectPlease OthersBe StrongTry HardHurry UpI use the book TA Today to guide us through the understanding and exercises and I hope that through this you will understand yourself better and increase your awareness for your own patterns that you follow. I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, please share it with people you think will gain from listening. Have a fantastic month!

Here it is! 2 months in the making but hopefully worth the wait! In this episode we go on a journey into understanding your Life Script through Transactional Analysis. I use the book TA Today to guide us through the understanding and exercises and I hope that through this you will understand yourself better and increase your awareness for your own patterns that you follow. In the podcast I talk through: What is the Script?The Script in adult lifeLife positionsInjunctions & Counter-InjunctionsYour Script process& DriversI hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, please share it with people you think will gain from listening. Have a fantastic month!

Today we're talking about a core counselling and psychology theory: The Ego-States. Please note: I am using the book TA Today by Stewart & Joines to base my understanding of the theory and therefore I use examples and quotes throughout the podcast. I don't cite throughout however, otherwise it would interrupt the flow. If you would like to learn more then I highly recommend buying the book. In this episode we go into: 1. The basics of Parent, Child, Adult and why it’s applicable in therapy and in life.2. Splitting each of the parent and child states in two. Looking at the Controlling Parent / Nurturing Parent at the top, and then Adapted (compliant) Child / (care) Free Child at the bottom.3. Showing how each state we are in can be positive and negative, and how that affects you and those around you. 4. Then lastly, we’re gonna talk about the slogans and beliefs that we’ve picked up from our parents or our own childhood, which still creep into and occasionally control our lives. Next month will be TA Life Scripts.I hope you enjoy the episode!

Welcome everyone to my first interview, with the wonderful Nicholas Malin. In this episode we talk about: The Basics of What Is The Shadow How Does it Often Turn Up Why We Need to Integrate The Shadow ProjectionHow to Spot the ShadowHow to Work on the ShadowNick also leads us through an exercise and a 6 minute meditation at the end. I hope you enjoy this conversation and you can find Nick at: https://www.facebook.com/nic.malinhttps://nicholasmalin.com/https://uk.linkedin.com/in/nicholas-malin-3324341aaSee you in June!