The Open Bedroom Podcast

I’m Jennifer, and today I’m talking with Betsy Pake about one of the hardest questions we ask ourselves: "Should I stay, or should I go?"We talk about relationships, divorce, career changes, self-abandonment, and the expectations we inherit from our families and society. Betsy shares what she has learned from her own experiences and offers practical ways to reconnect with our values, our desires, and the life we actually want.If you’ve ever felt stuck, disconnected, or unsure whether it’s time to make a change, this conversation is for you. Let’s get started.Top 10 moments:00:00 — Welcome and the central question: should I stay or should I go?04:02 — When keeping the peace becomes self-abandonment.06:14 — Questioning the programming and expectations we grew up with.12:31 — Reframing divorce, judgment, and personal growth.19:37 — Betsy’s Navigate Method: clarifying your values and needs.22:29 — “If money didn’t matter and nobody got hurt, what would I do?”26:10 — Betsy’s experiences with emotional disconnection in marriage.31:01 — Career boredom and trying novelty before making a major change.41:11 — Empty nesting, aging parents, and making time with loved ones count.47:45 — Slowing down, finding yourself, and noticing the good things.Follow Betsy:betsypake.comhttps://www.instagram.com/betsypake/https://www.facebook.com/BetsyjPakehttps://www.tiktok.com/@betsypake?_r=1&_t=ZT-95yiZKXSwNaFollow The Open Bedroom Podcast:https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

This week my guests are giving you sex advice directly from sex worker's mouths! George Goulburn and London Sterling of Australia tell us not only what men and women ask for, but how to give it to them.Follow George Goulburn:⁠www.georgegoulburn.com⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/georgegoulburnofficial/⁠Follow London Sterling⁠⁠:⁠https://scarletblue.com.au/escort/london-sterling⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/londonsterling69/⁠Follow The Open Bedroom Podcast:⁠https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/⁠

In this episode of the Open Bedroom Podcast, I welcome Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former NYC dominatrix. Amanda shares her journey discovering her kink identity, her experience as a dominatrix, and her transition into coaching. Our conversation covers BDSM dynamics, power exchange, and how to communicate desires in relationships. Amanda emphasizes that kink is normal, shame-free, and rooted in consent, offering practical advice for couples navigating mismatched desires or introducing kink into their relationships.Introduction to Amanda Dames (00:00:48) The host introduces Amanda Dames, a kink consultant, sexologist, and former New York City dominatrix, detailing her expertise.Amanda's Kink Discovery (00:02:13) Amanda shares her early awareness of her interest in spanking and punishment, starting from the age of five.The Origins of Kink (00:03:51) Discussion on whether people are born kinky, exploring ideas like past lives, epigenetics, and trauma as potential origins.Kink vs. Fetish (00:06:42) A clear distinction is made between a kink (a nice-to-have) and a fetish (a need-to-have for arousal).Is Everyone a Little Kinky? (00:08:29) Amanda argues that most people are a little kinky but are often afraid of the word itself.Experience as a Dominatrix (00:16:43) Amanda recounts how she found a job as a dominatrix on Craigslist and what the work actually entailed.From Dominatrix to Kink Consultant (00:18:26) Amanda explains her career transition from corporate life and moonlighting as a Domme to becoming a full-time kink consultant.Living in a 24/7 D/s Relationship (00:21:25) Amanda describes her current 24/7 Dominant/submissive relationship, where she is the submissive partner with her live-in Dom.The Appeal of Submission (00:24:48) Amanda explains why being in a submissive role is appealing, highlighting the freedom and care it provides.How to Tell Your Partner About Your Kink (00:44:24) Amanda provides a step-by-step guide on how to initiate a conversation with a partner about your kinks and fetishes.Follow Amanda:Website: https://www.amandadames.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultantYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultantPodcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlistFollow The Open Bedroom Podcast:https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

Erectile dysfunction can feel incredibly isolating—but it affects far more men and couples than most people realize.I'm joined by my husband Scott for an honest conversation about his experience with erectile dysfunction. Scott shares what it felt like to lose trust in his own body, the frustration and hopelessness that followed, and the emotional pressure that can build when sex starts to feel like a test you might fail.We discuss how erectile difficulties can affect confidence, intimacy, communication, and both partners’ experiences in the bedroom. Scott also opens up about finally seeking help, exploring prescription ED treatment through telehealth, and discovering that getting support gave him something he had been missing for years: a sense of control.This is not simply a conversation about erections. It is about vulnerability, performance anxiety, asking for help, and finding a path back to confidence and connection.00:00 — Introduction: The conversation men rarely haveJen introduces the episode and explains why erectile dysfunction deserves a more honest, shame-free conversation.02:15 — Scott’s personal experience with erectile dysfunctionScott begins sharing when he first noticed something was changing and how the experience affected him emotionally.06:10 — Losing trust in your own bodyThe fear of not knowing whether your body will respond—and how that uncertainty follows you into future sexual experiences.10:25 — When sex starts to feel like a performance testHow pressure, anticipation, and fear of “failing” can make erectile difficulties even more likely.14:30 — Hopelessness, frustration, and staying silentScott describes the internal struggle many men experience before they are willing to talk about the problem or seek help.18:45 — How erectile dysfunction affects the partnerJen shares the questions a partner may begin asking: Is it attraction? Did I do something wrong? Does my partner still want me?23:10 — Attraction versus physical responseWhy an erection is not always a reliable measurement of desire, attraction, or emotional connection.27:20 — The cycle of anxiety and avoidanceHow one difficult experience can create worry, avoidance, and even more pressure the next time intimacy begins.31:05 — Deciding to seek helpScott discusses reaching the point where he was ready to explore treatment rather than continue hoping the problem would disappear.34:40 — Exploring telehealth and ED medicationThe experience of using a telehealth provider, the convenience of accessing support, and overcoming the stigma attached to medication.39:00 — Finally feeling in control againScott explains how having a reliable option changed the way he approached sex and reduced the fear surrounding his body’s response.43:10 — The confidence shiftHow greater reliability affected erection quality, confidence, presence, and the ability to enjoy sex instead of monitoring every physical sensation.47:05 — What partners can do—and what they cannot fixSupporting someone without taking responsibility for their erection, applying pressure, or interpreting the issue as rejection.50:25 — Asking for help is not a failureWhy using medication or another form of support does not make someone less masculine, less sexual, or less capable.53:20 — Taking back control of your sex lifeFinal thoughts on vulnerability, communication, treatment, and giving yourself permission to find a solution that works.55:19 — ClosingErectile dysfunction does not mean that attraction, masculinity, or a satisfying sex life is gone. Sometimes taking back control begins with one vulnerable conversation—and the willingness to accept help.Podcast Sponsor: Shameless CareUse code "OpenBedroom" for $15 off

Today I'm speaking with with Aimee Latta, a certified embodied intimacy and relationship coach. Aimee shares her journey from growing up in Mormon purity culture, where sexuality was shrouded in shame, to fully embracing her pleasure and pansexual identity. She discusses how deeply ingrained religious beliefs suppressed her sexuality and explains her framework for reclaiming pleasure through permission, play, and power. Aimee offers practical advice for listeners beginning their own journeys, emphasizing curiosity, self-compassion, and community as essential tools for breaking free from shame and stepping into sexual empowerment.Introduction to Aimee Latta (00:01:11) Host Jen introduces guest Aimee Latta, a certified intimacy coach, and asks why "good girls" have bad sex.Purity Culture and Sexual Shame (00:01:45) Aimee explains how purity culture teaches women to prioritize their partner's pleasure and feel shame around their own sexuality.Growing Up Mormon (00:03:19) Aimee shares her experience growing up in the Mormon church, its patriarchal structure, and its views on sex.The Three Levels of Mormon Heaven (00:05:44) Aimee explains the Mormon belief in three heavens (celestial, terrestrial, telestial) and the concept of men having multiple wives.Masturbation as an "Addiction" (00:10:20) Aimee discusses how masturbation is considered a sin in Mormonism and shares her experience in a church support group.The Journey Out of Mormonism (00:16:08) Aimee describes her gradual exit from the church, including her decision to stop wearing the special Mormon undergarments (garments).Bad Sex in a Mormon Marriage (00:20:43) Aimee talks about her painful and unsatisfying sex life during her marriage and the cultural expectation of painful sex.Discovering Self-Pleasure (00:24:29) After leaving her marriage, a conversation with a friend gave Aimee permission to explore her own pleasure with a vibrator.The "Hoe Phase" and Clitoral Stimulation (00:27:24) The hosts discuss the importance of the "hoe phase" for repressed women and the necessity of clitoral stimulation for orgasm.How to Give Yourself Permission (00:30:25) Aimee offers advice on how to start giving yourself permission to explore pleasure, starting with curiosity and self-compassion.Follow Aimee:https://linktr.ee/cometalkwithaimeeFollow The Open Bedroom:https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/Shameless Care Show Sponsor:Think your STI test is complete? If you're having oral sex, you need a throat swab. Anal sex needs a rectal swab. You could be walking around with gonorrhea or chlamydia harboring in your body, and pass it on without any symptoms.You can get sexual health via Telehealth at Shameless Care for:- Erectile dysfunction medication- DoxyPEP - an STI prevention treatment- Valacyclovir - a herpes suppression drug- Triple-testing STI testing panelUse code “OPENBEDROOM” for $15 off at ⁠shamelesscare.com⁠Or visit https://shamelesscare.sjv.io/R0L2eX