The Crystal Chroniclers - the History of Final Fantasy

Rather later than advertised - Mark was very poorly for a long while there - we continue our trek through FF2. This episode, Arti takes on head-chronicler duties and does an amazing job. Enjoy!

All the stuff that wasn't relevant from the last episode... * Doing it wrong * Arguments * The funny one? * Pegging * Card games * Crrrrringe * Films * National Anthems * Pikmin 4 * Musk n Freud * Snoring * 6/12/18/24 * Word of the day * [redacted] * Marky for Mayor * Richard vamps

By Ramuh's beard! Can it be? A new, entire episode of the CC? Rumours of our demise were greatly exaggerated, and exacerbated by our prolonged absence. In this return episode we battle Chimera, strange-foreheaded Rays and end up in the guts of a monster. We also battle with sound quality after a five-year hiatus.

Turns out, we weren't dead, merely sleeping. We're pleased to announce the return of The Crystal Chroniclers!

Let's get caught up! This is episode 7.5 in which Mark gets up to speed with the rest of the chaps in Final Fantasy 2. Just a short episode today, but episode 8 will drop Sunday. Love you, bye!

It’s exactly ONE YEAR to the day since we dropped our pilot episode. To celebrate this auspicious anniversary, why not sit back and enjoy the outtakes from Season 2, Episode 7? They include… Adele Final Fantasy TCG Pauper Deck Building Clumsy Andy 1am DDT’s Peccadilloes Guru Larry Always Funny Opera Omnia Bad taste Love you, bye!

A belated Season 2, Episode 7, in which your Crystal Chronicling Heroes soldier on without Mark... And the episode which Mark has had the most fun editing. A laugh a minute*, the boys cover the seventh segment of Final Fantasy II. *not guaranteed

Andy, Arti and Mark are joined by Mrs C (Mark’s better half) for this week’s outtakes. Mark, who edits these, was taken aback by how much more posh and knowledgable his wife sounds than him. Andy’s wife Lacey giggles from the sidelines. This is, by far, the rudest episode we’ve put out so far. I blame the presence of women for making us show off. The discussion includes, but is not limited to: Richard’s Nostrils Canada Mllkshakes Piss off, ghost! Mo’ Cap A question about weird food (including Mrs C’s science brain and a looooong rambling conversation) A question about tattoos (including diversions about hairy men and medical nakedness) Terrible impression of Jonathan Stuff that is WAY TOO LEWD to discuss here Mark doesn’t understand how girl bits work Lightning in designer clothing Podcasting is an audio format ENJOY!

Season 2, Episode 6, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes struggle on against the stormy seas of podcasting without a rudder. In this analogy, the rudder is Richard. We did our best to stay on topic, though.

Both a reduced crew and a late upload… BUT Arti, Richard and Mark have fun discussing the Final Fantasy TCG. We cover: Arti’s favourite card The evolution of Lightning Opus VI Spoilers: Firion, Guy, Yuna * Royal Wedding Interlude * Opus VI’s new mechanic Title Series * School Curriculum Interlude * Regionals, Nationals and Cups * Pokémon Hacking Scandal Interlude * Cheaters Best of One Deck Consistency Psychology * The Quality of Mercy Outro *

As per usual, all the stuff that WASN'T FF-related from last week's show. Les Mis Spontaneous Squash Song No Intro ABBA Politics! Childhood cartoons, modern films and recent TV shows. And books too. Terry Crews seems lovely Nintendo Labo Play Online! More spontaneous singing Fave 5 Did you date my sister? I could come up with a clever name for this segment, but in all honestly it’s all about Arti’s impression of Andy. You Probably Get That A Lot (with apologies to TMBG) Enjoy!

Season 2, Episode 5, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes learn that not every segment can have Josef's wondrous story arc. ENJOY!

Last week's non-Final Fantasy stuff, with plenty of Final Fantasy (TCG) stuff... Deutschlandlied Final Fantasy Trading Card Game: Legends Ranked, Casual Formats Cold-Blooded Richard Final Fantasy Trading Card Game: Legends Ranked Stickler Marky takes a phone call: Pronunciation, Doki Doki Literature Club, School Days Anime, Jonathon Creek Final Fantasy Trading Card Game: SPICY BOIS, Competitive Play Crystal-Crystal Literature Club Focus On… Mugs that come with Easter Eggs Two nations separated by a common language Telephone Line, bored in Spain, TV MiB4 Jon’s method of revealing a death… SMDH Gen X Hamster outwits Andy Wrong sketch entirely Final Fantasy II - a card for Hilda? Van Phlegm and Mondegreens Bolt Richard is a tired teddy, Andy’s very badass, Mark enjoyed a massage ENJOY!

Season 2, Episode 4, in which Richard’s choice of checkpoints… MWAH! Perfection! Poor, poor Josef... Enjoy!

Between last week’s on-topic talk… Slave name My Hero Sh!tpost The Golden Age Codify your Mémés Chavs Rock Clock Grenalogy Dino Freddie The song from Shrek Arti’s hair, or lack thereof Sound effects Arti remembers what he did Super! Papa John’s Richard can rap Richard can name Pokémon Richard is hungry Blinkin’ Po-Tay-To James May Arti’s ultra-f*cked-up dream 3rd Bass We must question Arti’s ability to count arms Dreadnaught control 40,000 cheaters The moral high-ground DFS Intolelerance Daylight Savings Still with the puppies… T-shirt Jaws All in all… Alexa Solo A Whiter Shade of Pale

Season 2, episode 3... in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes (sans Andy, alas) rekindle their enjoyment of the game. We love the Final Fantasies!

It’s only a short one this week: it turns out we didn't have much to cut out last week! The Human GameFAQ Upcoming Video Games No FFTCG Boosters for ANYONE! Spoliers Card chat More spoilers Intro? Arti the Keyboard Warrior Nigerian Prince Final Fantasy VIII Division Intro? 2 Thong Stinkface Techical Difficulties Rappers We are the Plebs Community Saiyan Hair Evolution More Saiyan Business Armour Break time Is Eald’narche a guy? Cloud Promo card Andy’s sex life Love Letter (with Mark’s apologies to Nick Cave)

Welcome to the… Casual Chroniclers? Opus V, the fourth expansion for the Final Fantasy Trading Card Game, was release this week, so it’s time for your Crystal Chronicling heroes to talk cards. We take a run through the Legend cards, discussing their relative qualities and how they might be used in future decks, with plenty of diversions along the way. We also take a glance at our favourite cards from the set so far. You’ll have to excuse the sound quality slightly: we were opening and looking at cards throughout the episode so there’s a fair bit of rustling. At least it’s not on Skype though, eh? If you're looking to make decks then we recommend opening FFDecks.com in one window, and FFTCGMognet.com in another. Mognet for searching cards, FFDecks for building the deck.

What DIDN'T we include in last week's episode? All this... Cool Names and Knuckles Couldn’t be gay :’( LYNCH not FINCHer Lick it good Thanks for the MEMEories Cilla Blank Lots of beans Wrestling Masturbation Dirty Captain Picard Golden Shower Lonely Meatballs ASDF Movies Mother’s Day Andy Nintendon’t Hello caller, you’re on the air Coma Pact Spiel des Jahres Podcast ideas Dissidyuk, emirate? A very dry discourse on school meal funding Queen NSP Fried Foods Alternative Meeps Galeophobia Arte keeps his promo in his pocket Fat Bottomed (Bluegrass) Girls Enjoy!

Season 2, Episode 2, in which your Crystal Chronicling heroes find that, perhaps, Final Fantasy 2 isn't _quite_ as much fun as first they thought... Here's a link to our Youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB00V7LyWyPmVzmJliym7rg Mark's playthrough of this segment should be uploaded the day after this episode drops. ENJOY!