艾薇塔的英文閱讀筆記

上了英文字幕的影片版會在Youtube頻道唷 Follow我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita <---直接點 Follow我的臉書專頁: https://www.facebook.com/EvitaELC YT收看影片版: https://youtu.be/qUqpmoqhf5Y 小額贊助支持本節目： https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n/comments 📌本集內容(Chapter 6 Routine p.124-126) “It wasn’t always that easy. ” “Every morning my brain, desperate to remain shut down just a little bit longer, thought of a different excuse for why I should sleep in.” “But I pushed myself to adopt this new routine because I was committed to the process.” “The fact that it was hard was an important part of the journey.” “Eventually, I learned the one infallible trick to successfully getting up earlier: I had to go to sleep earlier.” “I’d spent my entire life pushing the limits of each day, sacrificing tomorrow because I didn’t want to miss out on today.” “But once I finally let that go and started going to sleep earlier, waking up at four became easier and easier.” “And as it became easier, I found that I could do it without the help of anyone or anything besides my own body and the natural world around it.” “This was a revelatory experience for me.” revelatory (adj.) 啟示性的 “At last I came to understand the value in it.” “The point of waking up early wasn’t to torture us - it was to start the day off with peace and tranquility.” “Birds. A gong. The sound of flowing water.” “And our morning routine never varied.” “The simplicity and structure of ashram mornings spared us from the stressful complexity of decisions and variation.” “Starting our days so simply was like a mental shower.” “It cleansed us of the challenges of the previous day, giving us the space and energy to transform greed into generosity, anger into compassion, loss into love.” “Finally, it gave us resolve, a sense of purpose to carry out into the day.” “Unfortunately, our productivity-driven society encourages us to live like this.” “We tend to wear our ability to get by on little sleep as some sort of badge of honor that validates our work ethic.” “But what it is a profound failure of self-respect and of priorities.” “Then, once we’ve woken up after too little sleep, nearly a quarter of us do something else that starts us out on the second wrong foot of the day - we reach for our cell phones within one minute of waking up.” “A majority of people go from out cold to processing mountains of information within minutes every morning.” “There are only six cars that can go from zero to sixty miles per hour in under two seconds.” “Like most cars, humans are not built for that kind of sudden transition, mentally or physically.” “And the last thing you need to do when you’ve just woken up is to stumble straight into tragedy and pain courtesy of news headlines or friends venting about gridlock on their commute.” “Looking at your phone first thing in the morning is like inviting one hundred chatty strangers into your bedroom before you’ve showered, brushed your teeth, fixed your hair.” “Between the alarm clock and the world inside your phone, you’re immediately overwhelmed with stress, pressure, anxiety.” “Do you really expect yourself to emerge from that state and have a pleasant, productive day?” Powered by Firstory Hosting

小額贊助支持本節目： https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.me/story/cl0pcqy5m162g0859yo88jvuf?m=comment 上了英文字幕的影片版會在Youtube頻道唷 Follow我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita <---直接點 Follow我的臉書專頁: https://www.facebook.com/EvitaELC YT收看影片版: https://youtu.be/PY51-tDv3_M Chapter 5 (p.93-94) “In fact, the asceticism was less a goal than it was a means to an end.” “Letting go opened our minds.” “It took some work for me to truly see all activities as equal.” “We were told to see society as the organs of a body.” “If something, like cleaning up after the cows, made me uncomfortable, instead of turning away, I pushed myself to understand the feelings that lay at the root of my discomfort.” “I quickly identified my hatred for some of the most mundane chores as an ego issue.” “I thought them a waste of time when I could be learning.” “Once I admitted this to myself, I could explore whether cleaning had anything to offer me.” “Could I learn from a mop?” “I observed that mop heads need to be completely flexible in order to get into every space and corner.” “Not every task is best served by something sturdy like a broom.” “To my monk mind, there was a worthwhile lesson in that: We need flexibility in order to access every corner of study and growth.” “Exploring our strengths and weaknesses in the self-contained universe of the ashram helped lead each of us to our dharma.” “My definition of dharma is an effort to make it practical to our lives today.” “I see dharma as the combination of Verna and seva.” “Think of Verna as passion and skills.” “Seva is understanding the world’s needs and selflessly serving others.” “When your natural talents and passions(verna) connect with what the universe needs(seva) and become your purpose, you are living in your dharma.” “When you spend your time and energy living in your dharma, you have the satisfaction of using your best abilities and doing something that matters to the world.” “Living in your dharma is a certain route to fulfillment.” “Two monks were washing their feet in a river when one of them realized that a scorpion was drowning in the water.” “He immediately picked it up and set it upon the bank.” “Though he was quick, the scorpion strung his hand.” “He resumed washing his feet.” “The other monk said, “Hey, look. That foolish fell right back in.”” “The first monk leaned over, saved the scorpion again, and was again stung.” “The other monk asked him,“Brother, why do you rescue the scorpion when you know its nature is to sting?”” “Because to save it is my nature.” The monk answered. “The monk is modeling humility - he does not value his own pain above the scorpion’s life.” “But the more relevant lesson here is that “to save”is so essential to this monk’s nature that he is compelled and content to do it even knowing the scorpion will sting him.” “The monk has so much faith in his dharma that he is willing to suffer in order to fulfill it.” p.97 “Passion+ Expertise+ Usefulness = Dharma” “If we’re only excited when people say nice things about our work, it’s a sign that we’re not passionate about the work itself.” “If we indulge our interests and skills, but nobody responds to them, then our passion is without purpose.” “If either piece is missing , we’re not living our dharma.” p.98 “There are two lies some of us hear when we’re growing up.” “You’ll never amount to anything.” “The second is “You can be anything you want to be.”” “You can’t be anything you want.” “But you can be everything you are.” “A monk is a traveler, but the journey is inward, bringing us ever closer to our most authentic, confident, powerful self.” “If we keep our minds open and curious, our dharmas announce themselves.” OTHER PEOPLE’S DHARMA p.99 “It’s better to do one’s own dharma imperfectly than to do another’s perfectly.” “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” p.100 “Our society is set up around strengthening our weaknesses rather than building our strengths.” “It is trust in the limits of the self that makes us open and it is trust in the gifts of others that makes us secure.” “We come to realize that we don’t have to do everything, that we can’t do everything, that what I can’t do is someone else’s gift and responsibility…” “My limitations make space for the gifts of other people.” EMBRACE YOUR DHARMA p.117 “Our heads might try to convince us that we’ve only ever made the best choices, but our true nature - our passion and purpose - isn’t in our heads, it’s in our hearts.” “In fact, our heads often get in the way of our passions.” “Here are some of the excuses that we use to close our minds:” “I’m too old to start my own business.” “It would be irresponsible of me to make this change.” “I can’t afford to do this.” “I already know that.” “I’ve always done it this way.” “That way won’t work for me.” “I don’t have time.” “Miracles happen when you embrace your dharma.” p.119 “5. Positivity and growth” “Rejection and criticism don’t feel like assaults.” “They feel like information that we can accept or reject, depending on whether they help us move forward.” “If you’re reading this chapter thinking My manager needs to understand dharma - then she’ll give me the promotion, you’ve missed the point.” “Dharma protects those who protect it.” “Dharma brings you stability and peace.” “When we have the confidence to know where we thrive, we find opportunities to demonstrate that.” “This creates a feedback loop.” “When you safeguard your drama, you constantly strive to be in a place where you thrive.” “When you thrive, people notice, and you reap rewards that help you stay in your dharma.” “Your dharma protects your joy and your sense of purpose and helps you grow.” Powered by Firstory Hosting

小額贊助支持本節目： https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.me/story/cl06uhcgi0bu508060an3vj30?m=comment 上了英文字幕的影片版會在Youtube頻道唷 Follow我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita <---直接點 Follow我的臉書專頁: https://www.facebook.com/EvitaELC YT影片版: https://youtu.be/po7Sj_jGipQ (p.84) The physical nature of breathwork helps drive distractions from your head.  Breathwork is calming, but it isn’t always easy.  In fact, the challenges it brings are part of the process.  I’m sitting on a floor of dried cow dung, which is surprisingly cool.  It’s not comfortable, but it’s not difficult. My ankles hurt. God, I hate this, it’s so difficult. I can’t keep my back straight.  God, I hate this, it’s so difficult.  It’s been twenty minutes and I still haven’t cleared my mind.  I’m supposed to bringing awareness to my breath, but I’m thinking about friends back in London. I sneak a peek at the monk closest to me.  He’s sitting up so straight. He’s nailing this meditation thing. “Find your breath,” the leader is saying. I take a breath. It’s slow, beautiful, calm. (p.85) My first trip to the ashram was two weeks long, and I spent it meditating with Gauranga Das every morning for two hours. Sitting for that long, often much longer, is uncomfortable and tiring and sometimes boring.  What’s worse, unwanted thoughts and feelings started drifting into my head.  I worried that I wasn’t sitting properly and that the monks would judge me.  In my frustration, my ego spoke up: I wanted to be the best meditator, the smartest person at the ashram, the one who made an impact. These weren’t monk-like thoughts.  Meditation definitely wasn’t working the way I had thought it would.  It was turning me into a bad person! ——————————————————————————————————————————— I was shocked and, to be frank, disappointed to see all the unresolved negativity inside myself. Meditation was only showing me ego, anger, lust, pain - things I didn’t like about myself.  Was this a problem … or was it a point? ——————————————————————————————————————————— I asked my teachers if I was doing something wrong.  One of them told me that every year the monks meticulously cleaned the Gundicha Temple in Puri, checking every corner, and that when they did it, they visualized cleaning their hearts.  He said that by the time they finished, the temple was already getting dirty again.  That, he explained, is the feeling of meditation.  It was work, and it never done. ——————————————————————————————————————————— Meditation wasn’t making me a bad person.  I had to face an equally unappealing reality.  In all that stillness and quiet, it was amplifying what was already inside me. In the dark room of my mind, meditation had turned on the lights.  In getting you where you want to be, meditation may show you what you don’t want to see. (P.86) Breathwork For The Body Mind As you’ve probably noticed, your breathing changes with your emotions. We hold our breath when we’re concentrating, and we take shallow breaths when we’re nervous or anxious.  But these responses are instinctive rather than helpful, meaning that to hold your breath doesn’t really help your concentration, and shallow breathing actually makes the symptoms of anxiety worse.  Controlled breathing, on the other hand, is an immediate way to steady yourself, a portable tool you can use to shift your energy on the fly. — — —  Modern science backs up the effectiveness of pranayama for myriad effects including improving cardiovascular health, lowering overall stress, and even improving academic test performance.  The meditations I present here and elsewhere in the book are universally used in therapy, coaching, and other meditation practices throughout the world. When you align with your breath, you learn to align with yourself through every emotion - calming, centering, and de-stressing yourself. Once or twice a day, I suggest setting aside time for breathwork.  Additionally, breathwork is such an effective way to calm yourself down that you feel short of breath or that you’re holding your breath. You don’t need to be in a relaxing space in order to meditate (though it is obviously helpful and appropriate when you are new to meditation).  You can do it anywhere - in the bathroom at a party, when getting on a plane, or right before you make a presentation or meet with strangers.  Step 1: Find a comfortable position - sitting in a chair, sitting upright with a cushion, or lying down Step 2: Close your eyes Step 3: lower your gaze(yes, you can do this with your eyes closed) Step 4: Make yourself comfortable in this position Step 5: Roll back your shoulders Step 6: Bring your awareness to         Calm Balance Ease Stillness Peace Whenever your mind wanders just gently and softly bring it back to Calm Balance Ease Stillness Peace Breathe in for a count of 4 through your nose in your own time at your own pace Hold for a count of 4 Exhale for a count of 4 through your mouth Powered by Firstory Hosting

✉️想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 上了英文字幕的影片版會在Youtube頻道唷 Follow我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita <---直接點 Follow我的臉書專頁: https://www.facebook.com/EvitaELC YT收看影片版: https://youtu.be/Xrisf-gYhqA 小額贊助支持本節目： https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.me/story/ckzh4wrol1qby09809bf98elz?m=comment 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 📌本集內容 Chapter 4 Intention (p.77-83) Live Your Intentions “Of course, simply having intentions isn’t enough.” “We have to take action to help those seeds grow.” “I don’t believe in wishful “manifesting,” the idea that if you simply believe something will happen, it will.” “We can’t sit around with true intentions expecting that what we want will fall into our laps.” “Nor can we expect someone to find us, discover how amazing we are, and hand us our place in the world.” “Nobody is going to create our lives for us.” “Martin Luther King said: “Those who love peace must learn to organize as effectively as those who love war.”  “When people come to me seeking guidance, I constantly hear,” “I wish….I wish…I wish…” “I wish my partner would be more attentive.” “I wish I could have the same job but make more money. ” “I wish my relationship were more serious.” “We never say,”  “I wish I could be more organized and focused and could do the hard work to get that.” “We don’t vocalize what it would actually take to get what we want.” “I wish is a code for “I don’t want to do anything differently.” “There’s an apocryphal story about Picasso that perfectly illustrates how we fail to recognize the work and perseverance behind achievement.” “As the tale goes, a woman sees Picasso in a market.” “She goes up to him and says, “Would you mind drawing something for me?” “Sure,” he says, and thirty seconds later he hands her a remarkably beautiful little sketch. “That will be thirty thousand dollars,” he says. “But Mr. Picasso, ”the woman says, “how can you charge me so much?” “This drawing only took you thirty seconds!” “It took me thirty years.” “The effort behind it is invisible.” “The monk in my ashram who could easily recite all the scriptures put years into memorizing them.” “I needed to consider that investment, the life it required, before making it my goal.” “When asked who we are, we resort to stating what we do:” “I’m an accountant.” “I’m a lawyer.” “I’m a housewife/househusband.” “I’m an athlete.” “I’m a teacher.” “Sometimes this is just a useful way to jump-start a conversation with someone you’ve just met.” “But life is more meaningful when we define ourselves by our intentions rather than our achievements.” “If you truly define yourself by your job, then what happens when you lose your job? ” ”If you define yourself as an athlete, then an injury ends your career, you don’t know who you are.” “Losing a job shouldn’t destroy our identities, but often it does.” “Instead, if we live intentionally, we sustain a sense of purpose and meaning that isn’t tied to what we accomplish but who we are.” “If your intention is to help people, you have to embody that intention by being kind, openhearted, and innovative, by recognizing people’s strengths, supporting their weakness, listening, helping them grow, reading what they need from you, and noticing when it changes.” “When you identify your intentions, they reveal your values.” “Living your intention means having it permeate your behavior.” “If your goal is to improve your relationship, you might plan dates, give your partner gifts, and get a haircut to look better for them.” “Your wallet will be thinner, your hair might look better, and your relationship may or may not improve.” “But watch what happens if you make internal changes to live your intention.” “In order to improve your relationship, you try to become calmer, more understanding, and more inquisitive.” “If the changes you make are internal, you’ll feel better about yourself and you’ll be a better person.” “If your relationship doesn’t improve, you’ll still be the better for it.” Do The Work “Once you know the why behind the want, consider the work behind the want.” “What will it take to get the nice house and the fancy car?” “Are you interested in that work?” “Are you willing to do it?” “Will the work itself bring you a sense of fulfillment even if you don’t succeed quickly - or ever?” “The monk who asked me why I wanted to learn all of the scripture by heart didn’t want me to be mesmerized by the superpowers of other monks and to seek those powers out of vanity.” *艾薇塔的邊讀邊念的時候不小心把mesmerize (v.)迷惑 看成 memorize(v.)了 ＴＴ “He wanted to know if I was interested in the work - in the life I would live, the person I would be, the meaning I would find in the process of learning the scriptures.”  “The focus is on the process, not the outcome.” “The Desert Fathers were the earliest Christian monks, living in hermitage in the deserts of the Middle East.” “According to these monks,” “We do not make progress because we do not realize how much we can do.” “We lose interest in the work we have begun, and we want to be good without even trying.” “If you’re in love with the day-to-day process, then you do it with depth, authenticity, and a desire to make an impact.” “And if you have a clear and confident sense of why you took each step, then you are more resilient.” “Failure doesn’t mean you’re worthless - it means you must look for another route to achieving worthwhile goals.” “Satisfaction comes from believing in the value of what you do.” Letting Go To Grow “Living intentionally means stepping back from external goals, letting go of outward definitions of success, and looking within.” “Developing a meditation practice with breathwork is a natural way to support this intention.” “As you cleanse yourself of opinions and ideas that don’t make sense with who you are and what you want, I recommend using breathwork as a reminder to live at your own pace, in your own time.” “Breathwork helps you understand that your way is unique- and that’s as it should be.”  Powered by Firstory Hosting

✉️想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 這集也有上了英文字幕的影片版唷～ 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://youtu.be/JJTiScS_kCQ 小額贊助支持本節目： https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.me/story/ckxikgskf07fl0966orqpmjn6?m=comment 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 📌本集內容 Chapter 4 Intention (p.75-76)  “As monks, we learned to clarify our intentions through the analogy of seeds and weeds.” “When you plant a seed, it can grow into and expansive tree that provides fruit and shelter for everyone.” “That’s what a broad intention, like love, compassion, or service, can do.” “The purity of your intention has nothing to do with what career you choose.” “A traffic officer can give a speeding ticket making a show of his power, he can instruct you not to speed with the same compassion a parent would have when telling a child not to play with fire.”  “You can be a bank teller and execute a simple transaction with warmth.” “But if our intentions are vengeful or self-motivated, we grow weeds.” “Weeds usually grow from ego, greed, envy, anger, pride, competition, or stress.” “These might look like normal plants to begin with, but they will never grow into something wonderful.” “If you start going to the gym to build a revenge body so your ex regrets breaking up with you, you’re planting a weed.” “You haven’t properly addressed what you want(most likely to feel understood and loved, which would clearly require a different approach)” “You’ll get strong, and reap the health benefits of working out, but the stakes of your success are tied to external factors - provoking your ex.” “If your ex doesn’t notice or care, you’ll still feel the same frustration and loneliness.“ “However, if you start going to the gym because you want to feel physically strong after your breakup, or if, in the course of working out, your intention shifts to this, you’ll get in shape and feel emotionally satisfied.“ “Another example of a weed is when a good intention gets attached to the wrong goal.” “Say my intention is to build my confidence, and I decide that getting a promotion is the best way to do it.” “I work hard, impress my boss, and move up a level, but when I get there, I realize there’s another level, and I still feel insecure.” “External goals cannot fill internal voids.” “No external labels or accomplishments can give me true confidence.” “I have to find it in myself.” Powered by Firstory Hosting

✉️想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 這集也有上了英文字幕的影片版唷～ 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 小額贊助支持本節目： https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.me/story/ckwgeecfn1bn40854c3v4j32a?m=comment 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 📌本集內容 Chapter 4 Intention p. 65 “In our heads we have an image of an ideal life: our relationships, how we spend our time in work and leisure, what we want to achieve. “ “Even without the noise of external influences, certain goals captivate us, and we design our lives around achieving them because we think they will make us happy. “ “But now we will figure out what drives these ambitions, whether they are likely to make us truly happy, and whether happiness is even the right target.” p.66  “As we walk, the senior monk mentions the achievements of some of the monks we pass.” “He points out one who can meditate for eight hours straight.” “A few minutes later he gestures to another: ” “He fasts for seven days in a row.” “Further along, he points.” “Do you see the man sitting under that tree? He can recite every verse from the scripture.” “Impressed, I say,” “I wish I could do that.” “The monk pauses and turns to look at me. He asks,” “Do you wish you could do that, or do you wish you could learn to do that?” “What do you mean?” “I know by now that some of my favorite lessons come not in the classroom, but in moments like this.” “He says,” “Think about your motivations.” “Do you want to memorize all of the scripture because it’s an impressive achievement, or do you want the experience of having studied it?” “In the first, all you want is the outcome.” “In the second, you are curious about what you might learn from the process.” ------ “This was a new concept for me, and it blew my mind.” “Desiring an outcome had always seemed reasonable to me.” “The monk was telling me to question why I wanted to do what was necessary to reach that outcome.” The Four Motivations “Fear- being driven by sickness, poverty, fear of hell or fear of death.” “Desire- seeking personal gratification through success, wealth, and pleasure.” “Duty- motivated by gratitude, responsibility, and the desire to do the right thing.” “Love- compelled by care for others and the urge to help them.” “These four motivations drive everything we do.” “We make choices, for example, because we’re scared of losing our job, wanting to win the admiration of our friends, hoping to fulfill our parents’ expectations, or wanting to help others live a better life.” Fear Is Not Sustainable “The problem with fear is that it’s not sustainable.” “When we operate in fear for a long time, we can’t work to the best of our abilities.” “We are too worried about getting the wrong result.” “We become frantic or paralyzed and are unable to evaluate our situations objectively or to take risks.” The Maya of Success “The second motivation is desire.” “This is when we chase personal gratification.” “Our path to adventures, pleasures, and comforts often takes the form of material goals.” “I want a million-dollar home.” “I want financial freedom.” “I want an amazing wedding.” p.68 “When I ask people to write down their goals, they often give answers describing what most people think of as success.” “We think that success equals happiness, but this idea is an illusion.” “The Sanskrit word for illusion is Maya, which means believing in that which is not.” “When we let achievements and acquisitions determine our course, we’re living in the illusion that happiness comes from external measures of success, but all too often we find that when we finally get what we want, when we find success, it doesn’t lead to happiness.” “Jim Carrey once said,” “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it’s not the answer.” “The illusion of success is tied not just to income and acquisitions but to achievements like becoming a doctor or getting a promotion or …. Memorizing the scriptures.” “My desire in the story above- to be able to recite every verse from the scripture - is the monk’s version of material desire.” “Like all of these “wants,” my ambition was centered around an external outcome- being as impressively learned as that other monk.” p.69 “We all know this already: We see wealthy and/or famous people who seem to “have it all,” but who have bad relationships or suffer from depression, and it’s obvious that success didn’t bring them happiness.” “Material gratification is external, but happiness is internal.” p.70 “While generally American incomes have risen since 2005, our happiness has fallen, in part because of social factors like declining trust in the government and our fellow Americans, and weaker social networks.” Powered by Firstory Hosting

想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 這集順便試做了影片版(預計2021-10-31上片) 記得YT頻道先訂閱起來，可以看看影片版唷～～ 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 小額贊助支持本節目： https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 留言告訴我你對這一集的想法： https://open.firstory.me/story/ckv53a7xxacrl0851c359eu16?m=comment 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 📌本集內容 Managing Short-Term Fears(p.57) “Detaching from your fears allows you to address them.” “Jobs are security, and we are all naturally attached to the idea of putting food on the table.” “Right away, my friend went into panic mode.” “Where are we going to get money? I’m never going to get hired again.” “Not only did he make grim predictions about the future, he started questioning the past.” “I should have been better at my work. I should have worked harder and longer hours!” “When you panic, you start to anticipate outcomes that have not yet come to pass.” “Fear makes us fiction writers.” “We start with a premise, an idea, a fear - what will happen if…” “When we anticipate future outcomes, fear holds us back, imprisoning us in our imaginations.” “Our fears are more numerous than our dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than reality.” P.58 寓言故事(parable) “There’s an old Taoist parable about a farmer whose horse ran away.” “How unlucky!”his brother tells him. “The farmer shrugs.” “Good thing, bad thing, who knows,” he says. “A week later, the wayward horse finds its way home, and with it is a beautiful wild mare.” “That’s amazing!” “The farmer is unmoved.” “Good thing, bad thing, who knows,” “A few days later, the farmer’s son climbs up on the mare, hoping to tame the wild beast, but the horse bucks and rears, and the boy, hurled to the ground, breaks a leg.” “How unlucky!” “Good thing, bad thing, who knows,” “The next day, the young men of the village are called into military service, but because the son’s leg is broken, he is excused from the draft.” “His brother tells the farmer that this, surely, is the best news of all.” “Good thing, bad thing, who knows,” The farmer in this story didn’t get lost in “WHAT IF” but instead focused on “WHAT IS”. “DON’T JUDGE THE MOMENT.” “It’s hard to not judge the moment, and remain open to opportunity when the unknown future spins like a whirlwind through your body and brain.” “Sometimes our panic or freeze responses rush ahead of us and make it difficult to suspend judgement.” “Fear motivates us. Sometimes it motivates us toward what we want, but sometimes, if we aren’t careful, it limits us with what we think will keep us safe.” Think Like A Monk(Jay Shetty) Powered by Firstory Hosting

想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n 📌本集內容 THE CAUSE OF FEAR: ATTACHMENT. THE CURE FOR FEAR: DETACHMENT(p.55) “Though we are developing intimacy with our fear, we want to see it as its own entity, separate from us.” “When we talk about our emotions, we usually say we are that emotion. ” “I am angry.” “I am sad.” “I am afraid.” “Talking to our fear separates it from us and helps us understand that the fear is not us, it is just something we’re experiencing.” “When you meet someone who gives off a negative vibe, you feel it, but you don’t think that vibe is you.” “It’s the same thing with our emotions - they are something we’re feeling, but they are not us.” “Try shifting from I am angry to I feel angry.” “I feel sad.” “I feel afraid.” “A simple change, but a profound one because it puts our emotions in their rightful place.”  “Having this perspective calms down our initial reactions and give us the space to examine our fear and the situation around it without judgement.” ***examine 音檔裡沒有正確發音examine後面的 “mine” /min/  “When we track our fears back to their source, most of us find that they’re closely related to attachment - our need to own and control things.” “We hold on to ideas we have about ourselves, to the material possessions and standard of living that we think define us, to the relationships we want to be one thing even if they are clearly another.”   “Clinging to temporary things gives them power over us, and they become sources of pain and fear.” “But when we accept the temporary nature of everything in our lives, we can feel gratitude for the good fortune of getting to borrow them for a time.” “Even the most permanent of possessions, belonging to the most wealthy and powerful, don’t actually belong to them.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Our teacher made a distinction between useful and hurtful fears.” “They told us that a useful fear alerts us to a situation we can change.” p.56 “There’s a common misconception about detachment that I’d like to address.” “People often equate detachment with indifference.” “Detachment is the ultimate practice in minimizing fear.” “Once I identified my anxiety about disappointing my parents, I was able to detach from it.” “I realized I had to take responsibility for my life.” “My parents might be upset, they might not- I had no control over that.” “I could only make decisions based on my own values.” Practice- Audit your attachments Ask yourself:”What am I afraid of losing?”  Start with the externals: Is it your car, your house, your looks?  Write down everything you think of.  Now think about the internals: your reputation, your status, your sense of belonging? Now start thinking about changing your mental relationship with those things so that you are less attached to them. This is a lifelong practice, but as you become more and more accepting of the fact that we don’t truly own or control anything, you’ll find yourself actually enjoying and valuing people, things, and experiences more, and being more thoughtful about which one’s you choose to include in your life. Think Like A Monk(Jay Shetty) Powered by Firstory Hosting

2021-09-12(Sunday) 颱風天最適合躲在家讀書了 這集約兩個禮拜前錄好 一直放到現在才有力氣完成 覺得自己這集說的不是很好 也有一個重音一直唸錯 ***Presence重音在前不在後 > < 但，這就是我真實的學習過程 所以就真實把我的錯誤與大家分享 想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n Work with Fear “The process of learning to work with fear isn’t just about doing a few exercises that solve everything, it’s about changing your attitude toward fear, understanding that it has something to offer, then committing to doing the work of identifying and trying to shift out of your pattern of distraction every time it appears.” “Each of the four distractions from fear - panicking, freezing , running away, and burying - is a different version of a single action, or rather, a single inaction: refusing to accept our fear.”  “So the first step in transforming our fear from a negative to a positive is doing just that.” Accept your fear ***presence[ˋprɛzns] 重音在前面(音檔內容唸成重音在後) “To close the gap with our fear, we must acknowledge its *presence.” “Breathing steadily while we acknowledge our fear helped us calm our mental and physical responses in its *presence.” “Walk toward your fear.” “Become familiar with it.” “In this way we bring ourselves into full *presence with fear.” Find Fear Patterns “Along with accepting our fear, we must get personal with it.”   “This means recognizing the situations in which it regularly appears.” A powerful question to ask your fear is “When do I feel you?” “I constantly saw that when I was worried about my exams, when I was worried about my parents, or about my performance at school or getting in trouble, the fear always led me the to the same concern: how I was perceived by others. ”  “What would they think of me?” “My root fear influences my decision-making.” (我根源的恐懼影響了我做的決定。) The awareness now prompts me when I reach a decisive moment to take a closer look and ask myself, “Is this decision influenced by how others will perceive me?” “In this way, I can use my awareness of my fear as a tool to help me make decisions that are truly in line with my value and purpose.” “Sometimes we can trace our fears through the actions we take, and sometimes it’s the actions we’re reluctant to take.” p.54 “What if I jump and there’s nothing on the other side?” “I’ve spent so much effort and energy building this career. What if I’m just throwing it all away?” “I asked again and finally we got to the root: She was afraid of failure and of being seen as less than an intelligent, capable person by others and by herself.” Last Paragraph “Patterns for distracting ourselves from fear are established when we’re young.” “They are deeply ingrained, so it takes some time and effort to uncover them.” “Recognizing our fear patterns helps us trace fear to the root.” “From there we can decipher whether there’s truly any cause for urgency, or whether our fear can actually lead us to recognize opportunities to live more in alignment with our values, passion, and purpose.” Powered by Firstory Hosting

想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n The Fear of fear “We let our fear drive us, but fear itself is not our real problem.” “Our real problem is that we fear the wrong things: What we should really fear is that we will miss the opportunities that fear offers.”  “Often, we notice fear’s warning but ignore its guidance.” “If we learn how to recognize what fear can teach about ourselves and what we value, then we can use it as a tool to obtain greater meaning, purpose, and fulfillment in our lives.” “We can use fear to get the best of us.” “Fear will get the worst of the best of us.” (From Tom Hanks) The stress response “The first thing we need to realize about stress is that it doesn’t do a good job of classifying problems.” “When your brain shouts “Fear!”your body can’t differentiate between whether the threat is real or imagined” “When you dear with fear and hardship, you realize that you’re capable of dealing with fear and hardship.” “This gives you a new perspectives: the confidence that when bad things happen, you will find ways to handle them.” “With that increased objectivity, you become better able to differentiate what’s actually worth being afraid of and what’s not.” “In order to change our relationship with fear, we have to change our perception of it.” “Once we can see the value that fear offers, we can change how we respond.” Powered by Firstory Hosting

想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n (P.46-49) “Negativity, as we discussed, often arises from fear.” “Next, we will explore fear itself, how it gets in our way, and how we can make it a productive part of life.” “Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life.” (From Buddha) “We have so much to offer the world, but fear and anxiety disconnect us from our abilities.” “This is because growing up we were taught, directly or indirectly, that fear is negative. “ “Fear was an embarrassing, humiliating reaction to be ignored or hidden.” “But fear has a flip side, …” “Fear will get the worst of the best of us.” (From Tom Hanks) “The truth is, we’ll never live entirely without fear and anxiety.” “We’ll never be able to fix our economic, social, and political climates to entirely eliminate conflict and uncertainty, not to mention our everyday interpersonal challenges.” “And that’s okay, because fear isn’t bad; it’s simply a warning flag - your mind saying “This doesn’t look good! Something might go wrong!”” “It’s what we do that matters.” “We can use our fear of the effects of climate chance to motivate us to develop solutions, or we can allow it to make us feel overwhelmed and hopeless and do nothing as a result.” “Sometimes fear is a critical warning to help us survive true danger, but most of the time what we feel is anxiety related to everyday concerns about money, jobs, and relationships.” “We allow anxiety - everyday fear - to hold us back by blocking us from our true feelings.”  “The longer we hold on to fears, the more they ferment until eventually they become toxic.” (P.48) “We start joking around - someone makes fun of my overreaction to a snakeskin I came across on one of our walks.” “You have to push beyond the part of your mind that’s making fun of it.”  “That’s a defense mechanism keeping you from really dealing with the issue, and that’s what we do with fear.” “We distract ourselves from it.” “Our brains are really good at keep us from entering uncomfortable spaces.” “But by repeating a question rather than rephrasing it, we essentially corner our brain.” “It's not about being aggressive with ourselves - that isn’t an interrogation, it’s an interview.” “You want to ask yourself the question with sincerity, not force.” Powered by Firstory Hosting

想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n Become an objective observer(P.28) Instead of reacting compulsively and retaliating, we could enjoy our freedom as human beings and refuse to be upset.  * retaliate(v.) 報復 We step away, not literally but emotionally, and look at the situation as if we are not in the middle of it, …, which is called detachment. *detachment (n.) 抽離、超脫 Negativity is a trait, not someone’s identity.  A person’s true nature can be obscured by clouds, but, like the sun, it is always there, and clouds can overcome any of us.  *obscure(v.) 使不顯著 (adj.) 隱匿的 We have to understand this when we deal with people who exude negative energy.  *exude (v.)散發、滲出 Just like we wouldn’t want someone to judge us by our worst moments we must be careful not to do that to others.  When someone hurts you, it’s because they’re hurt. Their hurt is simply spilling over.  They need help. “If you can, help others; if you cannot do that, at least do not harm them.” Spot, Stop, Swap (p.32-37) Spot Becoming aware of negativity means learning to spot the toxic impulses around you. Listing your negative thoughts and comments will help you contemplate their origins. *contemplate (v.)沈思、深思 Are you judging a friend’s appearance, and are you equally hard on your own?  Are you muttering about work without considering your own contribution? Stop Remembering, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however we want, is not freedom.  Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things. When we limit our negative speech, we may find that we have a lot less to say.  We might even feel inhibited. Criticizing someone else’s work ethic doesn’t make you work harder. Judging creates an illusion: that if you see well enough to judge, then you must be better, that if someone else is failing, then you must be moving forward.  In fact, it is careful, thoughtful observations that move us forward. Stopping doesn’t mean simply shunning the negative instinct. Notice what’s arousing your negativity, over there on your frenemy’s side of the fence. *frenemey = friend+ enemy Do they seem to have more time, a better job, a more active social life? Because in the third step, swapping, you’ll want to look for seeds of the same on your turf and cultivate them. For example, take your envy of someone else’s social whirlwind and in it find the inspiration to host a party, or get back in touch with old friends, or organize an after-work get-together.  It is important to find our significance from thinking other people have it better but from being the person we want to be. Swap After spotting and stopping the negativity in your heart, mind, and speech, you can begin to amend it. …researchers have found that happy people tend to complain … mindfully. While thoughtlessly venting complaints makes your day worse, it’s been shown that writing in a journal about upsetting events, giving attention to your thoughts and emotions, can foster growth and healing, not only mentally, but also physically. Instead of being angry, we might better describe ourselves as annoyed, defensive, or spiteful. *spiteful (adj.)懷恨的、惡意的 ————————————————————————————————————— (p.45) We need’t reduce our thoughts and words to 100 percent sunshine and positivity.  But we should challenge ourselves to dig to the root of negativity, to understand its origins in ourselves and those around us, and to be mindful and deliberate in how we manage the energy it absorbs. The less time you fixate on everyone else, the more time you have to focus on yourself. Powered by Firstory Hosting

想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n Reverse Internal Negativity(p.31-p.32) “Working from the outside in is the natural way of decluttering. Once we recognize and begin to neutralize the external negativities, we become better able to see our own negative tendencies and begin to reverse them.” * neutralize(v.) 抵銷 “Sometimes we deny responsibility for the negativity that we ourselves put out in the world, but negativity doesn’t always come from other people and it isn’t always spoken aloud. Envy, complaint, anger - it’s easier to blame those around us for a culture of negativity, but purifying our own thoughts will protect us from the influence of others.” “In the ashram our aspirations for purity were so high that our “competition” came in the form of renunciation(“I eat less than that monk”; “I meditated longer than everyone else”). If that’s where he arrived, then what was the point of the meditation?” *renunciation (n.) 放棄、克己 “Competition breeds envy. An evil warrior envies another warrior and wants him to lose all he has. The evil warrior hides a burning block of coal in his robes, planning to hurl it at the object of his envy. Instead, it catches fire and the evil warrior himself is burned. His envy makes him his own enemy.” “Envy’s catty cousin is Schadenfreude, which means taking pleasure in the suffering of others. When we derive joy from other people’s failures, we’re building our houses and pride on the rocky foundations of someone e’se’s imperfection and bad luck. That is not steady ground. In fact, when we find ourselves judging others, we should take note. It’s a signal that our minds are tricking us into thinking we’re moving forward when in truth we’re stuck. “ *Schadenfreude (n.) 幸災樂禍 *derive A from B (從B取得A) “We may never completely purge ourselves of envy, jealousy, greed, lust, anger, pride, and illusion, but that doesn’t mean we should ever stop trying. The key to freedom is self-awareness.” 2021-07-04(Sunday) 今天讀的是Think Like A Monk(僧人心態)的第二章Negativity 負面心態是每個人都會有的 好像種一棵植物你不可能不除雜草 雜草永遠都會長出來 你不可能假裝沒看到 你無法逃避、要好好正視這些雜草 只要你夠愛你的植物 把自己的心當成一株美麗的植物 你不會捨得讓這些雜草來分享你的養分 常常強調正面能量的人往往最愛逃避自己的負面能量 好好認識自己的負面、才是讓光照進負面的方法 喜歡這段內容一步一步 從競爭(competition)剖析到嫉妒(envy)的過程 “Competition breeds envy.” 而嫉妒會在你心中燃起熊熊烈火把你自己燒的體無完膚 如果你習慣把你的快樂建築在別人的痛苦上 那讓你快樂的地基一點都不穩固 (在此獻給所有因為嫉妒我而弄過我的小人們～) Powered by Firstory Hosting

想與我分享你的感想，歡迎來信！ evita1500@gmail.com 我的Youtube頻道: The Reader Evita https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCL7H9Ya1YJ5OWDpox_u78xQ 請我一杯咖啡，讓我持續創作吧！ https://pay.firstory.me/user/ckqovuxw9e42r0818h8tmvk4n Don't Be a Savior If all someone need is an ear, you can listen without exerting much energy. If we try to be problem-solvers, then we become frustrated when people don't take our brilliant advice. The desire to save others is ego-driven. Don't let your own needs shape your response. In Sayings of the Fathers,(這本應該叫“Saying of the Fathers”，音訊裡我只說"The Fathers"，在此修正) a compilation of teachings and maxims from Jewish Rabbinic tradition, it is advised, "Don't count the teeth in someone else's mouth." ---Think Like A Monk(Jay Shetty) Powered by Firstory Hosting