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This week’s episode is all about promotions. Or, rather, when good promotions go bad. We call this “Promotion Demotion.” What if you don’t want to be promoted? Or if you do get promoted and then realize, that “yikes!” it isn’t the gravy train that you thought it would be? Or, if someone gets promoted that you don’t think deserves it. What to do? What to do?Too Much Too Soon in Trenton got what they asked for—a promotion! And now they have cold feet. Suddenly they must manage their former peers—and nobody has taught them how to be a manager. Congratulations and condolences are in order. And some advice.I Prefer to Stay Put in Buckhead was just handed an automatic promotion.  The problem? They don’t feel ready. They fear that this promotion is well, too much—too soon. They fear that this promotion will only set them up for failure. What should they do?It’s Not What you Know, It’s Whom You Know is Chicago is bitter that someone with less technical expertise (than them) got promoted to manager. They are convinced that the promotion is only based on their “relationship” with the big boss. Mary & Chris talk them off the ledge.  Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts.  We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Authentic Authenticity

Authentic Authenticity

2022-09-2135:48

Authenticity is a huge buzzword in today’s workplace. Leaders are encouraged to be more authentic by being more vulnerable and transparent. Employees want to be able to bring their full true selves to work. But what does it really mean to be authentic? According to Webster's, Authenticity is about “being true to one’s own spirit or character.” But does that mean that we are the exact same person in every situation? How much authenticity is too much? What if being authentic feels risky? In this episode, Mary and Chris tackle what it means to be true to yourself at work.  Sunshine and Lollipops in Your Dreams is frustrated by their phony, two-faced boss. The boss is a jerk to his employees. But when the boss’ boss is around, the phony jerk turns into sudden sweetness and light. Is there any way they can “out” the inauthentic boss?Who am I to Judge loves his job at a religious charitable organization. The problem? He’s afraid to let his co-workers know that he is gay. How can he be authentic when he is hiding a major aspect of who he is?  He feels like a fraud. How can he reconcile working there and still being true to himself?Free to Me in Denver fears she can’t be her authentic self when she returns to the physical office. Not only is she the only woman in a team of male engineers, but she also is the only Asian American. Working from home was comfortable since she didn’t have to think about these differences—so how does she bring her full self to work when she worries she will be judged for being different? Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...Episode is LivePublished: Sep. 21, 2022 @12AM EditAdd a TranscriptGet episode better indexed by search engines.Add Chapter MarkersListeners can tap through & see what's coming up.Create a Visual SoundbiteBest way to share to social media for engagement.Share Episode On FacebookTwitterLinkedInMore OptionsEmail Link to Episode CopyDirect Link to MP3CopyDownload MP3Embed this ONE EpisodeView Episode Stats
It's Not Me, It's YOU!

It's Not Me, It's YOU!

2022-09-1434:33

Let’s be honest—sometimes other people are just a pain in the a**. In this week’s show, Mary and Chris address a myriad of listeners’ challenges in navigating difficult colleagues and situations. Feeling Like a Highschooler in Scottsdale is being iced out by her colleagues. They treat her like an outcast. Is there any way she can turn this situation around? Should she tell her supervisor? Confront the mean girls? Or just call it a day?Happy to See You in Hoboken is trying to convince her colleagues that hiring for culture fit is just as important as hiring for skills. How does she make her case and change their minds?Serenity Now in Santa Ana has a business partner (who is also her husband) who barrages her all day long with texts. How can she get him to stop or at least organize them into a semblance of a to-do list? Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Tell Me More...

Tell Me More...

2022-09-0731:14

Tell Me More…Listeners write in to learn more about topics such as self-promotion, managing up, and the merits of a four-day work week. Bewildered in Boulder disagreed with our recommendation to include a professional headshot-type photo in one’s LinkedIn profile. She thinks that including a photo just opens one up to wants to bias and judgment. Mary and Chris stand by their recommendation—and more importantly, they explain their reasoning... Two Heads Are NOT Better than One in Omaha has two bosses who are opposites. How does one navigate managing up to two different bosses? Can they just ignore the one that they dislike? Or does she just need to suck it up?Fingers Crossed in Philly is hoping that the “four-day” work week takes hold here in America. Is this a pipe dream or is he just smoking the pipe? Chris and Mary discuss the pros and cons of the four-day workweek and the likelihood of it becoming the norm in American businesses…Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Setting BoundariesWhat does it mean to set boundaries in our professional and/or personal lives? Are boundaries rules for others or rules for you? How do you even begin to know what your boundaries are? In this spirited discussion, Chris and Mary help listeners learn how to determine and set boundaries. Even in difficult situations….Making it Happen in Michigan is starting a new job—how does she begin to set boundaries with her new boss and team? Working for a Workaholic in Washington has a boss that is, well, a workaholic. How does he keep his career on the upswing without burning out? His friends tell him to set his boundaries, but he doesn’t even know where to start…Sort of Hating My Husband in Hawaii is challenged by her business partner husband who never turns work off. How does she set work boundaries while maintaining happy marital relations?Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
For Arguments Sake

For Arguments Sake

2022-08-2434:21

The ability to engage in “healthy” conflict at work is essential for promoting and encouraging diverse viewpoints. But how much conflict is too much? And what if your team doesn’t ever disagree with each other? Is that just as bad? In this episode, Chris De Santis and Mary Abbajay tackle listeners' questions about how to disagree without being disagreeable… Put a Lid on It in New Hampshire has an employee who likes to argue about everything with everyone. His constant contentiousness and criticisms are driving his boss and his coworkers crazy. What can be done? How should his manager approach this situation? Spine Free Zone in Manhattan has the opposite problem. She finds herself leading a team of “yes-men” and it is driving her crazy. She wants her team to engage in more healthy debate—so how does she get them to see the value of sharing different viewpoints?  Six to One Odds in Kansas City is one of six partners in a law firm. She has been tasked to lead the firm in its ESG efforts. The problem? She is the sole black woman in a sea of white male partners who are resisting all her ideas. How can she get them to stop arguing with her and start supporting her?Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Friends With Benefits?

Friends With Benefits?

2022-08-1734:15

Research repeatedly shows that having friends at work can boost employee engagement, productivity, and happiness. In a recent study, most people say having a best friend at work makes work more enjoyable. We see coworkers nearly every day, collaborate with them on important projects, maybe even share inside jokes about our boss—but do we consider these people friends? Should we? In this episode, Mary & Chris answer listeners’ questions about navigating workplace friendships.Alone But Not Lonely in Louisiana wonders why she needs to have work friends. She’d much rather stay in her remote cocoon rather than mingle with people in the office. Are there benefits to making friends at work? What Would Chandler Do…has just been promoted. He is now the boss of his friends. The problem? He wants to keep his friendships intact and doesn’t know how to navigate being their manager and their friend. Out of the Closet and into the Frying Pan has a crush on a same sex coworker. Should she make a move? She doesn’t know her coworker’s sexual orientation or if this coworker knows hers. How should she proceed? Or should she? Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Are you using common words and phrases that are now considered socially inappropriate? Culturally appropriated or insensitive? Derogatory? Overly gendered? Non-inclusive? Or just annoying and overused? If so, you are not alone. In this episode, Mary and Chris explore words and phrases that are now deemed problematic.We’d love to tell you what they are, but we don’t want to get in trouble with the language police, so you’ll have to listen to learn what is acceptable and what isn’t in today’s enlightened and more inclusive world. Don’t say that we didn’t warn you. And just for the record, we’ll miss some of these expressions! Show us your love. Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts.  We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us:  info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent... Check out the University of Washington’s Guide to Inclusive Language: https://itconnect.uw.edu/work/inclusive-language-guide/
The Worst Advice Ever

The Worst Advice Ever

2022-08-0337:06

Advice is cheap. And sometimes bad. In this episode, Mary and Chris try to help listeners sort through good advice and bad advice. And one listener writes back to take us to task about our advice! Damned if You Do in Dubuque took advice from a mentor that backfired. The problem? The male advice giver didn’t consider how his advice to his female protege would play into a gender-biased workplace. While his advice may have worked well for a man, for a woman, not so much.Their Way or The Highway writes back to tell us that we gave bad advice. And by we, he means Chris. So, what does he do now? And how much can Mary gloat that he wishes had taken her advice instead of Chris'?Taking a Pass on Passion in Lincoln is a recent college graduate who wants to know if the advice to just “follow your passion” is good career advice. Mary and Chris call bulls**t. Can we please stop telling young people that all they need to do to succeed is “do what you love, and the money will follow”? Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
This week’s show is all about recognition, praise, and appreciation. Or rather, when recognition and praise go astray. Have you ever given a gift that was misinterpreted? Or have a piece of praise misfire? Tune in to learn strategies to align your recognition strategies to those being recognized!Yay For Me in Detroit wants to know if it is okay to nominate oneself for an award? Or should she just hope that someone else does it for her....Treats Not the Trick in Topeka gave an employee a gift that backfired. Instead of being appreciated, the recipient was offended by the gift. Deeply offended. How should they manage the situation? Do they buy a new gift or just let it go.Sneers of Service in Raleigh thinks giving awards for years of service is just about the stupidest thing ever. How does he get his company to find a better way to recognize good work?Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
How honest are you? While you might like to think you’re an honest person, statistically speaking we are all liars. Researchers estimate the average person lies a minimum of once to twice per day. But when do those little “white lies” become problematic? In this week’s episode, Chris and Mary explore listeners’ concerns about lying, cheating, and stealing at work!Mum’s the Word in Maryland suspects that one of their employees is handing in fake expense receipts. The problem? The employee in question happens to be the granddaughter of the owner. Yikes! Thinking Fast to Go Slow is a data entry contractor who has decided to work more slowly in order to make more money. Should he bring others into his scheme? Or is he about to get hoisted by his own petard…Been There, Done That in Tampa is a marketing consultant who wonders if he can plagiarize his own work—in other words, can he provide the same strategies to multiple clients in the same industry? Is this cheating?Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
While there may be nothing constant in this world, except change—it doesn’t mean that organizations are good at creating change. In fact, research shows that organizational leaders are getting worse at implanting successful change and not better. So where does that leave those of us who must navigate change and transition in the workplace? Flummoxed in Philadelphia is a new manager who has been tasked with “cleaning up” the culture of their department. Is it possible to change the culture? Is so, where does one begin?Can’t Take the Complaining in Kansas City is sick and tired of their team complaining about recent changes to their workplace. The team said that they wanted more flexibility, but now they are complaining about the result. What gives?Cope-less in Cleveland is exhausted by all the constant changes at her workplace. What can she do to become more resilient?  Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
This episode marks the first anniversary of Cubicle Confidential! So, in honor of this celebratory “podiversay” event, Mary & Chris answer listeners’ questions about—you guessed it—partnerships!Am I Being Cheesy or Whiny in Washington wants to know if it is a good idea to open a wine and cheese shop with their best friend? Is this a good idea or recipe for disaster?Until D&I do We Part in Pittsburgh has learned that their consulting business partner is cheating on them. And by cheating, we mean that their partner is doing side work for their clients and not putting the money into the partnership. WTF? Should they break up, if so, how?Stuck on You in Stanton wants to start a podcast with their partner—their romantic partner—and wants some advice on creating a successful podcast partnership. Mary and Chris are only too happy to help!  Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts.  We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
If It Bleeds, It Leads

If It Bleeds, It Leads

2022-06-2933:13

How susceptible are you to clickbait? Are you a sucker for catchy headlines? In this special episode, Chris DeSantis quizzes Mary on real and fake headlines. Tune in and play along! Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
How important is the opinion of others? Do you care what other people think of you at work? Should you? What is the balance between caring and not caring? In this episode, Mary and Chris take a deep dive with listeners who are struggling with what others think of them…Baby Faced in Baltimore is a seasoned professional who looks way younger than they are and thus people don’t give her the respect she is due. People assume she is too young to know what she is doing. It’s a nice problem to have, but still a problem.Is the Gift of Gab Really a Gift in Gaithersburg worries that their extroversion may be repelling their quieter colleagues. How do they modulate to connect but not repulse…It’s Not Me, It’s You in Utica is not seen as a team player. They’ve been called bossy and opinionated. Does it matter? If it does, what can they do?Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Have you ever left a job for a shiny new one, only to discover, that--oops--it was a bad fit? Have you ever been tempted to double-dip on jobs? Or have you ever hired someone and uh-oh it may have been a mistake? If so, this episode tackles these pesky job-hopping dilemmas!Miss Match in Michigan is concerned that a new hire doesn’t have what it takes to succeed in their role. So, Miss Match wonders if they should continue to give this person a shot, or just call it a day. Our question to Miss Match is—did you hire a bad fit or did you do a bad job helping this person fit in?Buyer’s Remorse in Racine fears she has made a big mistake. After 10 years of working for a large (and stable) organization, she took a new job and discovered that she hates it. The new company has a toxic culture, and the leadership is, well, just plain awful. She’s only been in the job for 6 months—is it too soon to quit? And how should she position this sudden departure to new prospective employers?This Bytes in Brooklyn wants to moonlight on their current company. The problem? It’s with a competing tech company. How bad of an idea is this? Uh, probably pretty bad….Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Ghosts, Wimps, and Implusives, oh my! Have you ever dealt with a boss or colleague who ghosts you? Or a boss who is so wishy-washy that you want to pull your hair out? Or how about the boss or co-worker who is always changing their minds or chasing shiny objects? If so, this episode was made for you. Chris and Mary hear from listeners who need their help dealing with these difficult dynamics. Ghosted in Galveston is frustrated by her ghost boss. He’s never around when she needs him, and it is beginning to impact her ability to succeed. Does she need a ghostbuster or ghost chaser?Seeking Serenity in Salt Lake City is exhausted by her impulsive, scattered-brained boss. The chaos, madness, and constant shifting of priorities are driving her crazy. What can she do?My Boss is a Wimp in Wisconsin wants to know how to transplant a backbone into their boss who can’t seem to make a decision to save their life. And even when they do decide on something, they are easily swayed to change it. How do they get their boss to “pick and stick”? Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts.  We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...Recommended Book: Managing Up, How to Move Up, Win at Work, and Succeed with Any Type of Boss
Despite tremendous gains made by women in the workforce, women still face many structural and personal barriers to success—especially in leadership roles. In this episode, Mary and Chris hear from several female listeners who are struggling with gender and leadership issues and expectations.  Raising the Roof in Tulsa is up for promotion to District Manager. She is also the only woman at the management level. Even though her district outperforms her peers, her boss told her she needs to make a more “compelling case” to win the promotion. WTF???Woman on the Verge in Virginia is tired of being the only woman in the C-suite. She is tired of having to represent the views of all the women and she can’t bear to attend another retreat golf outing. Plus, the wives of the other executives are mean to her. Is it time to throw in the towel?Snow Flakes in Florida has no interest in mentoring or coaching the younger women in her company. She finds them entitled and dismissive. She worked her ass off to succeed and thinks they should just toughen up. Is she justified in her attitude or is she going to hell?Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1.  All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
Let’s be honest. The workplace can be very ageist. Very ageist. Being seen as “too young” or “too old” can stymie your career. How do you manage perceptions that you are “over” qualified or that you don’t have enough experience based on your age? In this episode, Mary and Chris provide advice to listeners who are dealing with ageist perceptions and perspectives.Gambling with My Future in Vegas keeps being told that they are “overqualified” for jobs. How do they neutralize this perception?Big in Bedford Heights is NOT happy that her new manager is 30 years her junior. How can she possibly work for a “child”? Does she need a new job or a new attitude?High Rise Hi Jinx doesn’t think a young employee is cut out for the job. Does he fish or cut bait? How much time (and effort) does he owe this young employee?Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
After two years of wearing our dress shirts with pajama bottoms, it’s time to dress up for work again. Which for many of us, means the reappearance of the fashion crisis. Just exactly what does “business casual” really mean?  And can I still wear my yoga pants to work?In this week’s show, Chris De Santis and Mary Abbajay help listeners navigate the new rules of office dress-up. Hint: the days of mullet dressing are over…Dapper in Delaware wonders if he is just a bit too well dressed for the office. Should he tone it down a bit?Dis-Dressed in Silicon Valley hates the bro-culture hoodie look in Silicon Valley. Does dressing like a teenager equal “business casual?”Well Suited in Syracuse thinks his people are dressed too casually for the office. Is it time to institute a dress code?Show us your love! Please give us a review wherever you listen to your podcasts. We’re here to help you succeed! Send us your workplace dilemmas or career questions. Email us: info@cubicleconfidential.com or tweet us: @cubicleconfide1. All names will be changed to protect the guilty and innocent...
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