Bible Stories for Blasphemers

Happy upload day, blasphemers! This week we introduce Micah, one of the last judges! Also explore topics of idols, and live-in priests! And in this week's Pop Corner, camp counselor Dan tells us all about the pagan god Pan! Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Hello, dear listeners! This week we introduce characters Samson and Delilah, get some child rearing advice from an angel, and see some Captain America level log (lion) ripping! Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Hello blasphemers! In this episode we look into the life and times of another judge named Jephthah. And also come across what may be the bible's first gay character?? Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Hello Blasphemers! Apologies for the late upload on this episode. The next episode will be up Wednesday 10/30 per the usual schedule. In this episode, we dive into Chapter 9 of the Book of Judges! Abimelech, son of Gideon, isn't so humble as his father, and craves power of his own. Will he attain it? Listen to find out! Also in this week's Pop Corner, it's all about Lord of the Rings, baby! Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail....

Happy Episode Day, blasphemers! This week, Dan regales us the tale of Gideon's 300 and their pursuit of Zebah, Zalmunna and their 15,000 Midianites. Also in this week's Computer Room segment, Everett the Engineer talks with our hosts about the link between Neopets and the church of Scientology! Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Gather round Campers, 'cause your fave bible camp counselors are back! Dan managed to break his wrist just after recording this, so we had to take a short break, but now it's time to get back to REAL business: Bible. In this one we teach you survival skills you'll take with you for the rest of your life. Such as... the best methods in which to drink water from a river; How to terrify your enemies using the awesome sonic power of a bunch of trumpets; How to ensure God is Bread. This one's a MU...

Dia duit, heathens! Camp Counselor Mariah is back from Ireland, so go ahead and help yourself to your favorite non-bigoted pickle chicken and settle in for another installment of The Bible! This week Dan teaches us about a Judge called Gideon. He’s a skeptic icon and almost certainly was the first guy to ever Science. You can’t prove he wasn’t. Then be sure to stick around for the second half of the show where we climb into the Travel Trailer and Mariah shares her time visiting some megalithi...

*in the voice of Julie Andrews* Dearest Gentle Listener, Now, you didn't think we'd forgotten to maintain our ongoing commitment to providing you Patreon content content, did you? Well, worry not little lamb, your shepherds haven't forgotten you. In this episode you can look forward to such delights as thus, as well as the story of the only female judge in the Book of Judges. This is the story of Deborah, of course. Do not underestimate this gentlelady, for she and her bestie Jael deliver th...

Happy Bible! We've finally said goodbye to Joshua and are entering our Biblical Folk Hero Era. With no successor named by Joshua, the nation of Israel continues on without a conduit to God. A generation has passed and it turns out God's not really popular anymore. And so God didn't take that well . He essentially sees Israel as though it is his adult son who just said that he's not going to go college... and also is hanging out with high school dropouts and starting an Only Fans. So, na...

Welcome to church sweet flock! This week Youth Pastor Dan (YPD) tells us the story of Joshua again..but faster this time. Think of it like the notes someone gave you about the key takeaways of the reading assignment. There's some extra flavor that's added along the way, but this ep rounds off the Book of Joshua as he dies at the age of 110, naming no successor. Then in the Pop Corner, we visit the Music Room to gush about and dissect the newest Taylor Swift Album (The Tortured Poets Departmen...

Hello again to all our precious Blasphemers! This week we learn about a very interesting event that could only be explained by a divine act…. Sort of. Joshua commands the sun to stand still, which helps them while they save Gibeon (which they have to do because of their tricksy covenant.) Then after a short detour, we head back to the Music Room. Everett comes to the table with analysis of the lyrics written by the band Knocked Loose. Before you go, everyone say hi to Dan who will be su...

Happy Episode day, blasphemers!! This week Dan teaches us about how the Gibeonites made the diabolical choice to deceive the Israelites in order to secure their protection against being slaughtered… the audacity!!! After that, in the pop corner, our conversation resembles a bouncy ball set loose in a long linoleum hallway. Also some spoilers as we plan content for our forthcoming Patreon page which totally for sure definitely really is going to exist. Enjoy ;) Follow & DM us on Ins...

Blessed hump day congregation! In this week’s installment of The Bible, our valiant heroes raze the city of Ai, leaving no survivors. They then immortalize its king forever in what can only be described as… gross. And then in the Pop Corner aka Music Room, in celebration of Dan’s many achievements, Mariah reads to him the lyrics of Dysphoria Hoodie by Laura Jane Grace. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

Blessed Wednesday to all of God's monsters... but especially you, dear listener. We have an inspirational story in store for you this week. All about the conquest of the city of Ai, and also a quick detour to discuss the stoning of Achan. Doesn't that sound lovely? In the pop corner, Mariah and Dan gush about grammy winners and parasocial-besties of the pod, boygenius. And, of course, Mariah celebrates the new Taylor Swift album announcement. Go ahead and settle in and make yourself a hot bev...

This week instead of your regularly scheduled sermon, we have a Very Special Episode featuring the Disclaimer Voice himself… that’s right kids, we’ve got Henry Rogland in the pulpit this week!! Henry joins us to discuss his experience growing up in Calvinism, the concept of T.U.L.I.P., and the Classic Christian School education. Basically it’s a generous helping of shame, a delightful little acronym that appeals to the youth of today, and waaaay too much homework. This one’s a doo...

This week we dive into The Book of Joshua, involving Rahab's deal with the Israel spies sent to Jericho. More importantly, however, we provide our in depth analysis of the VeggieTales episode entitled Josh and The Big Wall: A Lesson in Obedience. Don't miss it. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

BEHOLD, the miracle of resurrection!!! We are BACK, with a new editor, and unholier than ever! And rather than a bible story this week, we touch on Mariah's upbringing in Scientology, and Dan's pre-college education at a Creationist school. Don't forget to email or DM us your questions about Scientology for our future Q&A episode, and also PLEASE tell us about your brushes with cults & religion. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at b...

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers: we're done with the book of Numbers! Couldn't get through it without a few war crimes there at the end. Then in the Pop Corner, we go on a long and spoiler-full review of Knock at the Cabin, which (spoilers) we have some REAL bones to pick about. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

This week on Bible Stories for Blasphemers: GETTING THROUGH THE NUMBERS. There's a lot of names and laws in here folks, but don't worry, we have opinions to add to them, and Mariah has just found out that God eats food. Then in the Pop Corner, we discuss the DEEPLY important new Hozier EP, Eat Your Young. Follow & DM us on Instagram @bs4blasphemers Send us an email at biblestoriesforblasphemers@gmail.com

This week it's a special episode for everyone in the flock! We talk to the infamous Robin, our hot Catholic friend! We cover her religious upbringing in Catholicism, and cover her journey to realizing why she didn't believe it anymore. We also dive into Mariah's many, many, many questions, including but not limited to: "What can and can't you give up for Lent?" ; "What's with the obsession with Jesus's corpse?"; "Have you seen the flower sex scene with Josh Hartnett in that one mo...