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Author: Mable Productions

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Sextras is a podcast about sex, dating, relationships and all the extras. Best friends Honey Jane Wyatt and Maria Jose Hayaux du Tilly paint a candid picture of relationships and dating in their 20s, from sharing funny stories, to sex tips, to hard life lessons learnt (and learning). Typical episodes go from heavy discussions about whether they're difficult to love to cringing at sex stories from their listeners and each other. Listen in to hear two girls talking about all the details of their sex and love lives, and to maybe learn something along the way. To get involved, follow Sextras on Instagram (@sextraspodcast) and Facebook (Sextras Podcast), email ( or submit anonymous confessions to

Hosted by Honey Jane Wyatt and Maria Jose Hayaux du Tilly

Produced by Mable Productions

Original music by Sacha Puttnam

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64 Episodes
Can you escape the male gaze, even if you try? This week we discuss the dynamics of dressing for the male gaze, or attempting not to, and how it’s difficult to not dress for the male gaze, particularly when you’re dating men but also if you want to look or feel attractive at all. We touch on why the male gaze is harmful, beauty standards and how the male gaze has been repackaged through social media.We begin the episode with discussing terms we use to describe our appearance, unpacking the differences within them and how these are a product of the male gaze and our internalised male gaze as women. We then move on to a segment where we ask our listeners what they want to wear when they want to look sexy, to get an idea of what we’re calling the ‘sexy consensus’ (ie. what everyone’s shared idea of ‘sexy’ clothing is), which unsurprisingly involves a lot of black, red, and underwear.Then we give our own personal feelings about dressing for the male gaze, and what we wear when we want to look ‘sexy’ or ‘attractive.’ We grapple with the idea that we might never be able to escape the male gaze, and that denying the fact that everything we do is in some ways a product of, or scrutinised by, the male gaze in society. We also try to dive into the concept of ‘the main character’ and ‘romanticising your life’ to explain why these concepts might be a little bit problematic when we think about the male gaze and how women, under it, constantly picture themselves and what they’re doing by how it might appear to others.Ultimately, we don’t have an answer about how to deal with the male gaze, or how to escape it, but we think having some awareness of how we describe beauty and how we ourselves interact with the gaze when getting dressed, particularly for dates, is important.We also want to acknowledge that we can only give our own experiences with the male gaze, and often when we talk about beauty standards it is within a white and heteronormative framework, which we know brings us an enormous amount of privilege. If you have any personal experience or opinions on the male gaze and how it affects you, we would love to hear about it, however similar or different to our own experience.You can contact us and find more content on our Instagram @sextrapodcast, Facebook (Sextras Podcast, website:, or email us on Please subscribe and leave us a rating wherever you listen to podcasts, we’ll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
This week we’re joined by our lovely friend Amelia, to discuss body confidence and dating.We begin the episode with a segment where we hear something our listeners like about their body, to get us into the mood of body positivity. Then, Amelia tells us about her experience of dating as a plus sized woman and dealing with body confidence. She explains that bigger women can sometimes be fetishised when dating, and that her body confidence issues in the past have come from dating people who haven’t appreciated her body or treated her kindly. This happened in one past relationship in particular, which we touch on, before hearing a bit about how Amelia has come to accept her body and celebrate it. She tells us how dating women has helped a lot with her body image, as she can see how features she has disliked on herself are attractive on someone else, which is affirming.We hope you enjoy the episode! You can find more of Amelia on Instagram @meels0nwhee1s, and more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, our website or email us at Please send us your artwork, writing or sexy confessions, and don’t forget to subscribe. We’ll see you next Tuesday!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Happy New Year Sextras babies!!! We hope you had the most wonderful holiday celebrating with all your loved ones and wish you a wonderful 2022!We thought we’d do another New Year’s episode, continuing the tradition from our episode ‘Let’s Keep Trying In 2021’ last year, to reflect on everything we achieved in 2021 and what our goals are for the new year. We all had a tough year in 2021, so here’s to a better 2022, to being kinder to ourselves and spending more time with our loved ones.We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our listeners ‘What are your resolutions for the new year?’ before reflecting on the new year and what it brings, plus what we did last year. We then move on to our resolutions for the new year and set ourselves sex, dating, and self care goals and challenges for 2022.A lot can happen in a year, so we encourage you all to set goals for your own dating and sex lives (and other aspects of your life, too!) so you can hold yourself accountable and live your life to the fullest in 2022.Please don’t be shy about sending us your resolutions for 2022, or anything creative you’ve done that we think we might like and can feature on the website (this can include writing, drawings, songs, or anything you like). You can get in touch with us and find more of us at, on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast or email us at you to Manscaped for sponsoring this episode. Get 20% @manscaped + Free Shipping with promo code SEXTRAS20 at! #ad #manscapedpodProduced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
This week we speak to our wonderful guest Kabir about their experience with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and how BPD affects relationships. We also discuss being queer, how this relates to having BPD and what their experience was like growing up.We begin by hearing how BPD affects Kabir’s daily life, and what BPD feels like, before getting into how Kabir’s relationships have been formulated and impacted by having BPD and being queer. We hear a little bit about what dating with BPD has looked like for Kabir, and they tell us that casual dating with BPD can be difficult, and how embracing their queerness has been instrumental in learning to know and love themself for who they truly are.Growing up with any type of mental illness or personality disorder can be difficult, and it can be made more difficult when you’re very visibly queer, especially as a brown person in a predominantly white, straight, and rich circle of West London. Kabir tells us about how their embodiment of queerness growing up was somewhat protective, and how this impacted their relationships with those around them. Ultimately, though, we agree that being queer is more empowering than anything else, and we wouldn’t have it any other way, before ending by hearing what Kabir wants their relationships to look like going forwards.Thank you so much to Kabir for being our first guest in our studio, and for sharing your story. It was a pleasure to have you.You can listen to them on Back From The Borderline here: find them on Instagram @kabir_khurana, and as always you can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, at and on YouTube at Sextras Podcast.We can’t wait to see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
This week we discuss everything related to age difference when dating, wondering if it’s ok to date someone older than you and establishing a rule about dating age differences at the end.We begin the episode by hearing how much older and younger our listeners would go when dating, and read out some moments where you’ve really noticed the age difference in your relationships.Then we move on to discussing our own experiences with dating people different ages to us- we discuss how young and old we’d date and sleep with. Young girls in particular often want to date someone older than them, for reasons which we discuss, but there are a lot of issues that can arise from dating someone older, so we ask when it is ok to date someone older and how to stop young people wanting to date someone older, plus how to recognise when older people’s motives are wrong in wanting to date them.We hope you enjoy the episode. Stay safe and remember if someone much older wants to date you, it might be a little bit weird!!You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook (Sextras Podcast), and our website You can email us on by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode we talk all about how to deal with STIs, from what to do if you get an STI, to how to treat them, to how to reduce STI stigma, to living with herpes.We begin the episode by discussing some polls about whether our followers think that STIs are a big deal, and the ways they protect themselves against STIs. Although many of you said you 'do your best' to protect against STIs, it seems as though people aren't getting tested as often as they should or having completely safe sex (which we get, we've been there!) but we think it's important to talk about STI prevention.We then move on to talking about our own experiences with STIs, from having chlamydia when we were 18 to Honey's living with herpes tips. We cover how to get tested for STIs (at least here in the UK) and how often, the emotional impacts of an STI diagnosis and how to tell someone you have herpes.Finally we look at STIs and the stigma around them and how little we truly learn about them in sex education. We explain how ultimately STIs aren't a big deal- they're just like any other infection and they're a natural part of sex.Go get tested, educate yourself and help reduce stigma around STIs!If you want to learn more about the different types of STIs, their symptoms and treatment, we have more information on all of this on our Instagram, where Honey also talks about her herpes diagnoses.You can find us on:Instagram @sextraspodcastFacebook: Sextras PodcastEmail sextraspodcast@gmail.comwww.sextraspodcast.comDon't forget to subscribe and leave us a review, and we'll see you next Tuesday! ByeeeeeProduced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
1:10-18:00 Segment: Your worst dating app stories18:15 Which apps we've used-- what dating apps are there? Different dating apps explained38:40 How to use dating apps well, how to improve dating app profile47:00 Starting conversations on dating apps, good opening lines on dating apps + good questions to ask.Welcome back to season 2 of Sextras! We're so excited to be back and can't wait for you to hear the episodes we have coming your way.This week we're talk all about dating apps. We've both been doing some market research over the summer, and boy oh boy do we have some very strong opinions on how to use dating apps well and what not to do on dating apps. Listen in if you're just starting to use the apps and wondering how to approach dating apps, or if you're a seasoned user and wondering how to get better at dating apps.We begin the episode with a segment—how we've missed hearing all of your submissions :') — where we hear your worst dating app date stories, from being blocked by someone because of your star sign to having absolutely nothing to talk about on a date.We then delve into why we've used dating apps, and which ones we've used. We break down the purpose of dating apps, going through Hinge, Tinder, feeld, Bumble, and Positive Singles and discuss the positives of these dating apps, before launching into a very long debate about what to put on a dating app profile. Unsurprisingly, we've seen some absolutely shocking examples of dating app profiles over the years, and so we explain that we don't want to see any pictures of you at the gym, and that the key to a dating app profile is variety and showing some character.We then switch to how to make conversations on dating apps, which can be really hard. If you've ever used a dating app we're sure you know how many people just message you 'hey,' and you exchange a few messages backwards and forwards before the conversation fizzles out. We try to cover what you should say in first messages on dating apps, and when the best time is to ask someone out.We promise that, even though dating apps suck sometimes, there are some positives, and just like dating if you hack the formula for how to use them and making a good profile you can have a good time. It's all about your approach to dating, apps are just a way to facilitate these interactions.Go forth, create your dating app profile, and thrive!If you enjoy Sextras please don't forget to subscribe so you never miss and episode, and if you're feeling extra generous leave us a review and share the pod on your social media!You can find more of us on Instagram (@sextraspodcast), Facebook (Sextras Podcast), or email us at sextraspodcast@gmail.comProduced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Pre Season 2 Catch Up!

Pre Season 2 Catch Up!


!!! WE WILL BE BACK ON 7TH DECEMBER FOR SEASON 2 !!! But for now, enjoy a little bit of bonus content to catch up with us and what we've been up to in our sex and dating lives over the summer (and autumn!). After hyping up hot girl summer so much at the end of season 1, we had veryyy different experiences: Maria ticked a few things off her sexual bucket list before being launched into a (short) long distance relationship with her boyfriend, whereas Honey spent most of the summer recharging and trying to accept her herpes diagnosis before fully re entering her sex life at the end of the summer. Luckily, she did have a few sexual encounters (so has a few updates), and has been getting back into dating apps, and even a mindful masturbation app which she recommends to Maria. Sometimes it's important to have a sexy summer with your boyfriend, and other times it's important to acknowledge how you're feeling and recharge an intense year or two.Listen in to hear a few teasers for upcoming episodes and to be up to date with everything we've been up to in the run up to season 2.Most importantly, don't forget to subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts and to our YouTube channel (Sextras Podcast), where we'll be releasing the full video footage to each episode in season 2.You can also find us to catch us up on your summer, confess a sexy secret or get involved in all the extra content and segment prompts for season 2 on:Instagram @sextraspodcastFacebook: Sextras PodcastEmail: sextraspodcast@gmail.comwww.sextraspodcast.comProduced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Trailer - Season 2

Trailer - Season 2


ALL NEW EPISODES COMING FROM 7TH DECEMBERWe're back, and with more exciting stuff than ever! We've been away putting together a studio and figuring out how to record video so you can see our lovely faces here on Youtube, as well as planning really exciting episodes. Last season we covered a lot, from friends with benefits to long distance relationships, to how to find out what gives you pleasure, and in season 2 we are going to keep expanding on these, plus coming in with all new topics. Stay tuned for episodes about attachment styles, how to be better lgbtq ally, dating with an age difference and many many many more! If you're a person that is interested in having open and honest conversations, listen in to our already existing 54 episodes, and stay tuned for brand new ones coming from the 7th December.In the meantime, you can find us:Instagram - @sextraspodcastFacebook - Sextras PodcastWebsite - www.sextraspodcast.comSubscribe wherever you get your podcasts!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal Music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
For the last time this season, and thus the last time for a while, we get together to talk about what's going on in our sex life and our relationships, and reflect on the ways the podcast has impacted us and our lives.We open with an introduction detailing the cruel reality of what it means to run a podcast sometimes: a LOT of technical difficulties. This season finale seemed like a perfect opportunity to give our listeners some behind the scenes of podcasting. Or at least our experience, of what it is like to start a podcast in the last year of university. People always ask us, how much does podcasting cost? Or how hard is podcasting? How much work is podcasting? So we addressed some of the misconceptions of podcasting, as well as outlining how much work actually goes into a podcast.We begin our episode of reflection by breaking down our expectations when coming into starting a podcast, in contrast to how we feel about it now. As well as reminiscing about where we were at the start of the pandemic and the podcast, in terms of our sex lives and our relationships, and comparing it to where we are now. We spend a lot of the episode reflecting upon our views about love and how they have changed. We're looking back with love, as we've realised that self reflection and growth go hand in hand. In order to keep progressing and to form our identities and find out who we want to be, we have to have self reflection and self awareness. We are not offering a 'self reflection, how to', but in looking back to where we started, and looking back fondly and inquisitively will allow us to keep learning.Throughout our time doing the podcast, we haven't only grown ourselves, but the relationships to the people around us have strengthened too. We have learnt so much about how to open up in conversations, how to start up conversations, about sex and relationships, and all the intimate details that arise from those conversations, not only with strangers, but also with our friends and family, in particular our mums. Having so many guests, and opening up week after week about ourselves and our relationships provided us with plenty of examples of open conversations to then give us a guideline on how to start difficult conversations with our families and loved ones. Opening up is hard, and we are still working on it, but working on the podcast had provided a lot of clarity and practise in dealing with difficult conversations.It truly is the end of an era for us, we finish university and are about to enter the real world, we completed a full year of weekly episodes and are concluding the first season of a podcast we love! We are truly so grateful to all our amazing guests for opening up to us and educating us, to our beautiful friends for supporting us, to our parents for believing in us and being forever open minded, and to our listeners, for all their submissions and for making all of this so much more valuable.Go forth into this hot girl summer and have nothing but fun, we'll see you next season!In the meantime, find us on our website or social media:Instagram: @sextraspodcastFacebook: Sextras PodcastWebsite: www.sextraspodcast.comDon't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Do you suffer from anxiety? This week we're joined by our lovely friend, and psychology student, Azura to talk all about how to deal with anxiety in relationships and being non binary.We begin the episode with a segment where we hear some of our listeners' insecurities in their relationships; how they broke their mental health to their significant others in relationships and how partners have helped them manage their mental health in relationships. We also did a segment to see how many people experience mental illness or mental health problems (81%) and whether they'd prefer to date someone who has similar experiences or not.Azura then tells us a bit about the differences between feeling nervous and having an anxiety disorder and why it can be important to distinguish between the two. She then tells us about her own relationships and tips for how she has encouraged her romantic partners to understand her anxiety in relationships, as well as what her current boyfriend has done to help her cope with her anxiety while dating. We then move on to discussing how her gender has been a cause of her anxiety in the past, before realising she identifies as non binary, and how outwardly presenting yourself in a way that matches your inner feelings can really benefit your mental health.We hope you enjoy the episode! You can find Azura on Instagram @stdyio and you can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook on Sextras Podcast, our website or email us at Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Ready to get back out there? So are we! It's been a long year filled with lockdown and endless covid-19 restrictions and we are well and truly ready for hot girl summer, especially now that we've graduated. This week we talk all about getting back out there after a breakup, or even just putting yourself out there after lockdown and lack of dating practice.We begin the episode with a poll where we ask if people struggle to put themselves out there- to which 54% of people said yes and 46% of people said no. We then asked for some tips to put yourself out there and to have dating confidence, which is something we all need a boost of. We end the segment by hearing people's hot girl summer plans and telling you our own.The positive thing about the world opening up, even though so many of us lack dating confidence, is that we're all in the same position, and we can all build up our confidence and put ourselves out there together. We discuss what has held us back from putting ourselves out there in the past and discuss what we can do to meet more people to date, or to attract the right kinds of people.Gone are the days of low standards or wasting our time with people who are, quite frankly, not good enough for us. It's hot girl summer baby! Anything is possible, and boy oh boy are we going to spend the summer learning to date and be confident again. It's time to get back out there, for all of us, so let's go for it!We hope you enjoy the episode, if you're both excited and afraid to get back out there we're right there with you. Don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, and you can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website, and we'll see you next week!!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Focus On Foreplay

Focus On Foreplay


In this episode we're talking all about foreplay! In light of Honey recently being single and noticing the amount of men on Tinder who claim that they 'don't do foreplay' in their bios, we thought this was a much needed episode to emphasis the fact that foreplay is very important. Listen in for foreplay tips and ideas for both people with vaginas and penises (ie. actually doing foreplay at all!!)We begin the episode with a poll where we asked men and people with penises whether they 'need' foreplay (86% said yes, to our surprise) and 97% of women or people with vaginas said they needed foreplay (not surprising in the least). We also asked what foreplay means to our followers, from touching and kissing to oral sex, to licking and sucking to penis to penis; as well as hear some stories of weird and sometimes horrific foreplay techniques. You can find these segments on our Instagram stories if you want to get involved!We also talk about what foreplay means, whether it is a part of sex or can be separated from it, and determine that ultimately foreplay is extremely necessary for most people, both those with penises and vaginas. There is a misconception that foreplay isn't important for men, perhaps because they often don't engage in foreplay, but we think that foreplay shouldn't be skipped, and actually that it can take a lot of pressure out of sex. Porn has given us the idea that people are ready to start sex whenever, but actually a lot of pleasure comes from foreplay and good sex can't really happen without it.We hope you enjoy the episode! Don't skip foreplay, we promise it will make your sex life so much better. For more foreplay tips listen to the episode we did with Kinky called 'How to Have Better Sex' where she gives some oral sex tips. If you're enjoying Sextras please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser or share! You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website or email us at We'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Welcome to our first ever submissions only bonus episode! From confessions about sexual fantasies to real sex stories about our follower's sex experiences to pondering whether your vagina can get tighter when you haven't had sex in a while, we cover it all.We begin the episode by telling everyone about some goals we have set for our own sex lives, and what we want our sex lives to look like in the future. We then move on to reading the wonderful submissions you have sent us! If you sent us a submission check the time stamps to hear what we said about your story or confession.We love hearing your confessions and sex stories! Please continue to send us more and interact with us so we can keep learning and talking about sex together! You can send us stories or questions for future submission only episodes on our Instagram @sextraspodcast, our Facebook (Sextras Podcast) or on our website (we have an anonymous submission point) or you can email us at Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and don't forget to subscribe so that you can be notified about future episodes, we'll see you next Tuesday!1:00 to 13:05 Our sex goals13:52 Date to recycling centre14:52 Threesome fantasy15:03 Tying up and dominating a man with a woman18:24 Sucky kisser21:28 Hiding from parents and force fed potato salad22:50 Asked out on a pizza box28:21 Thoughts on the term 'easy'32:56 Butt dialling your mum during sex33:49 Wet wipes36:22 Apologise accepted only in the form of doritos38:50 Kicks for asshole licks39:30 Getting back at your best friend and ex41:58 A fetish for belly buttons48:57 Can your vagina get tighter?52:50 Friends chat shitProduced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
What are you like in an argument? This week we discuss conflict and arguing styles. From heated arguments to the smallest disagreements, arguing is never entirely pleasant, but there is a way to communicate effectively and to be mindful in an argument so that it's respectful and doesn't become hurtful.We begin the episode with a segment where we ask our followers what they're like in an argument and what their argument pet peeves are. We discuss certain things we find annoying in arguments, such as when people walk away from your or insult you during an argument.We then move on to discussing what we are each like in a relationship, and how the way we argue is so related to our attachment styles. Maria is anxious, so wants to resolve conflict as quickly as possible, and Honey is avoidant, so wants to put off arguments for as long as possible. We identify different approaches to arguing, from the way you start an argument or bring an issue up to the way you act during the argument- do you walk away during an argument? or shout? do you argue to argue your point or to win or do you argue to understand the other person's perspective? Finally, how you recover from an argument- whether you take a while to calm down after an argument.We decide that understanding how your partner argues is very important in a relationship. Everyone argues! So it's important to remember that we shouldn't learn how to avoid an argument but how to argue effectively in a relationship so that both people feel validated in their feelings.Go forth, learn your attachment style, and argue effectively! Life is too short to spend it arguing about the same thing and being unhappy because it's never resolved.We hope you enjoy the episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and share with everyone you know! You can find more of us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, Facebook at Sextras Podcast, on our website, or email us at We have an anonymous submission point on our website so send us your sexy stories there! See you next week.Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
Do you wish you were having better sex? This week we're joined by Kinky (aka. DaKinkyKid)- sex coach and kink educator- to learn how to be having better sex.We begin the episode with a segment where we asked our followers what some sexual things they're scared to try are, and Kinky gives us all some advice about how to get a little kinky with your sex life, from how men can ask to have butt stuff done to them, to being spanked or experimenting with pain and pleasure.Then, Kinky tells us how she became a sex educator, from being interested in sex from a young age, to having a sex blog, to now having a TikTok with millions of views that teaches people about sex education. Kinky tells us some things we all need to improve on during sex, such as not being scared to ask for what you want and not putting up with men who don't try to make women orgasm, to how to make your g spot enlarge and figuring out how to squirt.We learnt so much with Kinky, she gave us some oral sex tips for men and women and how to prepare for anal sex. Essentially, Kinky is all about having good sex because, as she says, good sex is important as it makes everyone's lives so much better, and makes you so much happier.Go forth, and have great, fun, rough, and kinky sex!You can find Kinky on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok under 'Da Kinky Kid,' on her website where you can buy her two books '365 Ways to Keep it Kinky' and 'Imma Sucka.'As always, you can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast, on Facebook at Sextras Podcast, email us at and visit our website at Don't forget to subscribe to get notified about new episodes, share and review! We'll see you next week.Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
This week we're joined by Manny, past matchmaker and relationship coach to talk about finding the right person for you, based on what you want from a relationship and whether you have an alpha, beta, or omega personality.We begin the episode with two segments where we asked our listeners 'What are your dating pet peeves?,' including men paying for dates being normalised and awkward conversations before sex; and 'What's the most unbelievable or ridiculous thing someone has said or done to you on a date?,' including guys admitting they take their condoms with them and thinking feminism is a reason a woman rejects someone.We then move on to hearing about Manny's career, and how he got into matchmaking and then relationship coaching. Manny tells us how he tries to help people find the right person for them, as that is often the biggest thing people struggle with in relationships. Often people go for those who are nothing like them and want completely different things, which dooms their relationship for failure. Manny has a theory called the emotional alpha scale that helps people look for the right person for them based on whether their personality is alpha, beta, or omega. He explains that omega, alpha or beta personalities are not specific to men or women, and that none of them are negative even though beta is used to insult men a lot of the time.We then discuss toxic masculinity and how men feel as though they have to be an alpha male because of the way their parents raised them or the messages they get from society about what 'masculinity' should look like. So many men try to be an alpha male when they're not, which Manny calls the 'constant quest for manhood.' This means so many men don't know what they want or really struggle to come to terms with the fact that they're an omega or a beta. In reality all being a 'man' really is is honouring who you are. But no matter whether you're alpha, beta, or omega the most important thing is to be true to yourself and find the right person for you and what you want out of a relationship.You can find Manny on @iammannysantana on TikTok, Facebook, Twitter, Clubhouse and Instagram, on and information about his book and his masterclasses on, or you can email him at he'd love to hear from you!As always you can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast; Facebook at Sextras Podcast; our website or email us Don't forget to subscribe so you can be notified whenever we release an episode (we have our bonus episode coming very soon!) and we'll see you next week!Produced by Mabel ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
This week we're debating the hot issue of what makes better sex: quantity or quality?We begin the episode with a few polls where we asked 'Would you rather have ok sex every day or have really good sex once a week?' to which 95% said really good sex once a week; 'What makes someone a better fuck- to have lots of sex with different people or to have lots of sex with one person? to which 74% of people said lots of sex with one person; 'Does your partner's body count matter to you?' to which 87% of people said no; lastly 'Has your best sex been in a one night stands or in a long term thing?' to which 84% of people said in a long term thing.We then move on to discussing what quantity or quality of sex might mean. We're conflicted about the issue of quantity as we know it can cause some unnecessary competition when you're younger, with wanting to raise your body count, which is a big part of lad culture and toxic masculinity. On the other hand, for some people one night stands give them an idea of what more people are into and they can then try those things out if they have regular sex with one person- so quantity becomes quality. Also, we decide that sex is never that bad unless it is really terrible, so quantity without quality isn't a complete possibility.Then, we discuss quality, which we decide includes cumming, or a good effort on both parts to make the other cum, and for both people to have a good time and try a few spicy things out along the way. Good sex is addictive: when sex is good with one person, it's hard to look back at how you ever accepted sex that was less than quality, and you raise your standards. We’ve decided we’re raising our standards and not making any more excuses more not getting the most we can out of sex. At the same time, asking for what you want during sex and enforcing quality can be way harder than it seems, so we have to take it step by step to get to the point of being able to communicate what we want.Ultimately, we decide quantity and quality are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and which you prefer really depends how much sex is enough for you. We know some people don't need to have sex every day and others are okay with not cumming every time (but we obviously shouldn't make excuses for men who make no effort.)Go forth! Have sex in quantity and quality (but maybe don't go for quantity at the total expense of quality).We hope you enjoyed this (more chatty) episode! If you did, make sure to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, and tell us what else you'd like to hear us discussing. You can find us to do so on our:Instagram: @sextraspodcastFacebook: Sextras PodcastEmail: sextraspodcast@gmail.comWebsite: www.sextraspodcast.comDon't forget to subscribe so you get notified when our bonus episode comes your way very soon, and see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode we're joined by BDSM performer and educator Sir Ezra. He's the HeadMaster of the Leather/ BDSM household The House of Algos, and he's here to tell us all about the BDSM lifestyle, his career in BDSM and the BDSM community as a whole and how to introduce BDSM into your life. Listen in for an introduction to BDSMWe begin the episode with a segment where we hear about our listeners' kinks, from hentai to tentacle porn to bondage, and Sir Ezra teaches us the difference between a kink and a fetish. We then move onto how he got into BDSM, from being into dominating and sadism from a young age to pushing away his interests in BDSM because he thought it was 'bad,' to finally working in the BDSM community. He tells us what it's like to do BDSM as a profession, and that he got into BDSM education because he was interested in teaching.We then move on to BDSM communication, safety, respect and consent, which is extremely important. So many people think that BDSM is a dangerous community, but actually Sir Ezra teaches us that because the BDSM community are so open and educated about power roles that they are actually much better at communicating boundaries and setting safe words so that consent is clearer and safer. He also teaches us some BDSM terms and types of BDSM roles. We end the episode by hearing about how to introduce BDSM into your life, and how to find BDSM community sites so you can learn safe BDSM practices and rules.You can find Sir Ezra on for more BDSM information and to take some BDSM courses with an expert. You can buy his book 'Mindfucking Mindfully: A Guide to Mental Manipulation for BDSM & Sadomasochism' there too, and he's also on Instagram, TikTok and Twitter under House of Algos.Don't forget to subscribe and share with everyone you know, and you can find more of us at all the usual places:Instagram: @sextraspocastFacebook: Sextras PodcastEmail: sextraspodcast@gmail.comWebsite: www.sextraspodcast.comSee you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
From dildos to vibrators to fleshlights to butt plugs: this week we're talking all about sex toys. We're joined by Mel, the founder of Melba Toys, to talk about how to talk about sex toys with your partner, whether you guys are into sex toys and if you use them with partners, and she tells us a bit about the sex toy industry.We begin the episode with some polls, where we asked our followers if they have ever bought a sex toy (72% of people said yes); if they've ever used a sex toy with a partner (69% said yes) and if they'd be open to using one with a partner (97% said yes). We asked how often people use sex toys, and the most common answer was occasionally) and then we asked people to tell us if they didn't why not, as well as some stories or anecdotes about using sex toys.Mel then goes on to tell us about her company, Melba Toys, and why she was inspired to start it. She explains that the sex toy industry is completely unregulated, and this means sex toys are often not sustainably or ethically made. Also, it's impossible to find the right sex toy! Buying sex toys online can be so tricky, as there's loads of choice but most of them might not be quite right (especially if you're looking to buy your first sex toy and don't know where to start). This also means that affordable sex toys come at the expense of quality, and if you're looking for a big dildo you might only be able to find a big and thin one rather than the thickness you're looking for. Melba Toys solves all of this and will make sex toys out of sustainable and ethical materials to order so you can ask for whatever gives you pleasure!We end the episode by talking about how to talk about introducing a sex toy with a partner, as some people might find it uncomfortable, and using sex toys in general.We hope you enjoy the episode, and you might start to consider how you can have more sustainable sex. You can find Mel and Melba Toys on Instagram @melbatoys or their website and do their sex toy quiz on always, you can find us on Instagram @sextraspodcast and Facebook under 'Sextras Podcast' or on our website or email us at Don't forget to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts if you enjoyed, and share and subscribe, and we'll see you next week!Produced by Mable ProductionsOriginal music by Sacha Puttnam See for privacy and opt-out information.
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