Loving On Purpose

Have you given up hope on actualizing a better relationship with an adult child?This episode is for YOU!  our biggest roadblock is not being willing to wait for them to want a connection with us. And it does happen.  I share an experience in my own life where after three years of a non-existent relation with one of my children we are speaking and connecting with each other that I never dreamed possible.  I talk about in this episode why it's important to wait and  how to wait without feeling hopeless.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Are you feeling unimportant because your child don't call you or invite you out to dinner?  Are you frustrated because you always have to reach out to them?  Are you disappointed on your birthday because they didn't plan a celebration for you?  Are you already dreading Mother's Day?  If your answer was yes to any of these questions, this podcast is for you.  I discuss how to remedy these concerns.  I help you understand what the real problem is in not living the life you thought you would be living and how to create a life you wish you were living.My daughter Natalie Clay, a marriage Life Coach, is offering a free class on Thursday, April 11, 2024  at 6:00pm PDT called DISAGREE WITHOUT ARGUING.  Even though it is focused toward couples it is easily applied to how to disagree without arguing with adult children.Click Here to register.  You need to register to have access to the replay.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I'm interviewing my good friend Kurt Francom who is the founder and executive director of the non-profit organization , Leading Saints.  He also has a weekly podcast by the same name, which I highly recommend.  His mission is to help us become better leaders whether it's in a church position or as a leader of a family.  His podcast covers a various range of topics.  Today I'm interviewing him about his newly published book, "IS GOD DISAPPOINTED IN ME?  Removing Shame from a Gospel of Grace.".  We discuss how really understanding how much God loves us helps us be better parents.  We talk about why we don't need to worry about the disappointing actions of our children in relation to their standing with God.  I think you will find this episode enlightening but even more inspiring is his book.Click here to order the book.  It is available in paperback, audio, and Kindle versions.To learn more about his organization and to get access to a library full of helps on topics of controversial nature that may be pertinent to some of the issues families struggle with regarding their adult children, click here to go to his website.To listen to his podcast, click here.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

What you think is the problem between you and your adult children is probably not what you think it is.  We were raised to believe that the way they behave toward us causes us to feel a certain way.  If they have very little contact with us, we may feel we are unimportant to them.  Their behavior is the circumstance.  Circumstances are neutral.  They are the actual facts about the situation.  The circumstance causes us to have certain thoughts.  These thoughts cause us to feel in a certain way.  Knowing the cause of our problems (our thoughts not our children's behavior) is they key to feeling the emotion you want to feel, in any situation, by managing our thoughts.  Listen to this episode to hear true stories of how to make this happen in your life.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Isn't it great when all of your family members can gather together?  We all have different opinions as to why or maybe even why not.  I am sharing some of my observations in navigating life with adult children of how different topics of information are shared depending on what makes up the family gatherings.  In this episode I discuss what I found happens to me and my involvement and interaction with my children in an entire group gathering; a single family event; only my adult children getting together with us (no grandchildren); when we meet with one of our children and their spouse; what it's like for us when we meet singly with one of our children.  Each situation creates a different result.  Listen to decide what works for you.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Many of us had expectations of when we had adult children what life would be like.  We thought we would be involved in their lives.  When this expectation or need is not fulfilled we often feel unimportant and unloved.  As an adult, we are responsible for fulfilling our own needs.  One way to accomplish that is to spend more time with friends.We are fulfilling our own needs by finding like minded people to associate with.  It is not our children's responsibility to fulfill our needs.  They don't OWE us anything.  In this episode I talk about why our children possibly aren't helping fulfill our needs and five benefits to having friends to fulfill our need to love and be loved.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

All of us have people in our lives that we dislike.  It seems especially painful when we dislike and finally own that we really don't like one our adult children. Sometimes we try to move too fast out of feeling this way instead of "being" with this emotion for a while. In this episode I tell of reasons some of my clients have chosen to dislike their children, why it’s owning our thoughts are causing this feeling, and not the circumstance of our children's behavior, and some remedies, some new thoughts to start “trying on” to find peace with your feelings about your adult children. Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

The freedom to be free of non-serving emotions, feelings that don't help us live emotionally healthy lives, can happen in our lives when we are trained in how to have thoughts that empower us and give us permission to be ourselves.  First, we need to let go of the thought that we feel we need approval in order to like ourselves.  Second, we need to quit being the victim to what's happening in our lives and starting creating the life we want to live by managing our thoughts.  I call this the practice of emotional self-care.  In this episode I give you suggestions on how to implement some thoughts to free you to be free from what's holding you back from living a happy life.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Our relationship with our spouse is probably the relationship we should be spending the most time strengthening.  I believe families can be together forever, even after we die.  But I have millions of ancestors and could potentially have millions of predecessors so that seems like a bigger gathering than I can imagine.  But I can wrap my mind around being with my husband forever.  We worry about being with our children for eternity because of some of their behaviors.  But what about  my behavior toward my husband isn showing him love, kindness, and respect?  Could I be better?  Both relationships are important but I believe that if I work at managing my thoughts around my husband, if I practice being the person I want to be around my husband, it then transfers to how I treat everyone.  Love is always the best choice.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Do you fear your adult children may cut you off from having any contact with their family and your grandchildren if you disappoint them?  Feeling this way does not help in building a good relationship with them. And feeling fearful is one of the worst feelings to feel.  In this episode I give reasons why we have this fear, how this feeling is causing you to live in scarcity and six suggestions on how to stop having this fear.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

It's wonderful all the adult opinions there are out there in the world.  When we collaborate we have come up with some amazing creations, inventions, advancements in medicine and technology.  But we humans often struggle in our relationships when our opinions differ.  This episode is about when we disappoint our children by a decision we have made and what we can do to have the confidence in ourselves to move forward.  It explains why we can't make them feel better about our decision but what we can do to find peace in a contentious situation.  Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We are the creators of our experiences in our lives.  If you don't like the results of the circumstances or happenings in your life, you can change them by changing how you want to feel, or contribute, or be in response to your circumstances.  We can't change our circumstances, we can't change how our adult children act around us, but we can change how we respond to their actions and this controls what kind of result we have in our life in regard to any specific circumstance.  The circumstance does not determine the results of the life we live; it's our response, our actions, our thoughts that determine whether we like or dislike the experience we having.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I share in this episode three stories of past clients who loved their estranged children enough to wait until their children were ready to heal the relationship.  I recieved three emails within a month from these past clients exclaiming their joy and gratitude to God for coming forth of their children indicating they wish to restore their relationships with their parents.  Love always wins...again. Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

What causes us to not always act like the kind, loving parent we want to be to our adult children?  No.  It's not because they are unkind and unloving.  It's because you may think you are feeling love for your child but perhaps you're feeling resentful that they are unkind and unloving.  Feeling resentful is going to cause you to show up as resentful....not kind and loving.  Listen to this episode where I talk about what we need to do to act like the person we want to be.  What you do is caused by how you feel.  I explain in more detail in this episode what that statement means.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We clean our houses more than we clean out our minds.  When we practice getting rid of some of the harmful thoughts we hang onto in our minds we free ourselves to choose thoughts that serve us and help us to see things from a more beneficial perspective.  When we clean out our minds we tend to not take things more personally.  We tend to get more curious and less judgmental in our thoughts which results in us being closer to living the life we want to live.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Not many parents talk about their relationships with their adult children especially if they are struggling in it.  Nobody told us we would be expecting our needs would be met at this time in our lives by our involvement with our adult kids.  No one told us that we are responsible for fulfilling our own needs, of finding our own happiness, not our children, not even our husbands.  Just because we may not be included in our adult children's lives as much as we would like doesn't mean they love us less.  Nothing has gone wrong; it's just different than we not only expected but were also hoping for. What do you want to do with your life now that your role as a parent has changed.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

Faith to me is knowing God conspirers in my favor.  Faith is knowing that God knows what's best for us and has a plan to get His children back to Him.  Faith causes me to not give up on my adult children.  Faith is knowing  what my responsibility is to my adult children and the most important is to stay out of God's business.   Faith is knowing He loves them more than we do.  Faith is knowing part of the plan is opposition.David Bednar video "How Will I know Where I'll Go When I Die ?"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mi31zXs-Ldk&t=2sHave you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

We know we judge others, especially our adult children, too often but we don't know how to stop.  Even knowing that we don't like how we feel when we're judging them doesn't making us stop.   We think we have some control over them living a happier life if we just help them see their weaknesses.  But this is a little lie our brain tricks into thinking.  In this episode you'll learn four suggestions on how to stop judging others.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

I can help people solve any problem with their adult child but that's not entirely true.  The teachings of Jesus Christ show us the way to solve any problem.  What I do is show people how to apply the teachings in their lives and where to start learning how to do that.  Listen to this episode where I offer some scriptures that can be applied to choosing love, forgiveness and compassion rather than judgement.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.

No excuses now.  I offer you 100 ways you can show your adult children you love them even if they don't share their love back with you.  Love is always a choice.  Love just loves.  Love will always feel best.Have you received my new resource "3 Steps To Be Yourself Around Your Adult Children?" Click HERE to receive it. You'll be amazed what life offers you when you take back the power to be yourself around everyone.Have you ever considered 1:1 coaching? To get started, book a complimentary call with me to find out what the cause of your struggling relationship is with your adult child. Go to bonnielyman.com (click here) to book a call.