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Coaching vs Therapy

Coaching vs Therapy

2022-08-1132:31

Have you ever wondered when do you hire a coach or when do you hire a therapist?  I think everyone needs a coach to maintain their mental health. What are the differences between the two?  How do I know if I'm a candidate for therapy or for coaching?  If you are not sure, listen to become more informed.  Investing in your mental health is worth the investment.  It transforms your entire life.  If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to: *Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE*Sign up for my weekly email:  click HERE*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!Follow me on IG and FB....@bonnielymancoaching
Emotional Separation

Emotional Separation

2022-08-0422:22

Have you ever wondered why you take things so personally in the relationship with your adult children in a way that is unlike any other relationship?  Why are you able to feel compassion and understanding and love with your friends' adult children and you often feel despair and despair and embarrassment with your own children?  In this episode I offer you a way to practice feeling compassion, acceptance, and understanding with your own children that helps life be so much more satisfying.  Thank you ahead of time for listening.If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to: *Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE*Sign up for my weekly email:  click HERE*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!Follow me on IG and FB....@bonnielymancoaching
I share  with you excerpts and some paraphrasing of what Joseph Grenny believes is causing most of the despair among parents with children who have strayed.  (From an article in the Meridian Magazine, July 7, 2022.  Link below). Not only from their faith, but also from coping with the challenges of life in a healthy way.  He gets his insights from Jacob 4 and 5 in the Book of Mormon.  Even if you are not a member of this faith, I think you will find his words very comforting and hopeful.  I quote him:  "Most of the epidemic of family despair in the Church today is optional....Satan entices us to satisfy our immediate hunger for resolution by surrendering either our beliefs or our optimism".  Listen to my insights and personal stories on this podcast.  I would encourage you to read Jacob 4 and 5 in the Book of Mormon; then read the article below."Jacob's Answer to Parental Despair:  The Olive Tree and the Antichrist", Joseph GrennyIf you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE*Sign up for my weekly email:  click HERE*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!Email address:  bonnie@bonnielyman.com
Grandparenting

Grandparenting

2022-07-1546:51

Have you ever stopped and wondered how much influence you have in your grandchildren's lives?  Have you ever been forbidden by your child to see their children?  Do you feel guilty you don't always say yes to providing day care for your grandchildren?  What about grandchildren that live far away; how can you connect with them better?  Tune and listen as to why and how you are the most influential person/people in their lives.If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE*Sign up for my weekly email:  click HERE*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!References:Donne Davis, author of When Being A Grandma Isn't So Grand Donne Davis on YouTube Donne Davis, organizer of the gaga sisterhood.  Organizations for grandmothers.Stuart Biscoe on YouTube
Most mornings we wake up with the same feelings.  I'm a morning person so I wake up excited.  I sometimes find my concerns from the day before are not as bad as they were the day before. Others wake up grumpy....and that is okay.  Did you know that you can form the habit of being happy?  By managing our thoughts, we can decide when we wake up what kind of day we want to have that day.  And our brain will help us find evidence that we will have that kind of day.Tune in to find out how to form the habit of feeling good every day. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE*Sign up for my weekly email:  click HERE*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!
Thoughts About My Life

Thoughts About My Life

2022-06-3042:03

Life was good....I was married to a wonderful husband with 5 amazing children.  One night my husband said "We haven't gotten our licks yet".  Not too long after, major challenges surfaced in our family's life.  Challenges I would not sell to have them taken back but challenges I would never wish for anyone to experience.  How did I survive?  A lot of tears but a lot of giving love.  I believe I was given the gift to love difficult people; from an upbringing, absent of support and love, I gained resilience; from having faith in a Supreme Being I was given strength and promptings to choose love.  Even when our children do not choose to live values we esteem highly, choosing love can keep our family unit together....forever.  Love is accepting, listening and seeking to understand those that think differently than we do.If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE*Sign up for my weekly email:  click HERE*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!
Empowering Thoughts

Empowering Thoughts

2022-06-2342:00

I keep a couple go-to thoughts in my pockets when the the "stinging darts pierce" my chest.; those darts thrown at us by others, especially annoying when they come from one of our adult children.  Sometimes it is just a sting; sometimes it pierces my heart.  I feel the emotion and then I pull out of my pocket a default thought that brings me back to how I want to feel.  I share 15 of them, but I most often use these three:  Things never stay the same; People that hurt others are hurting; What would love do.  Write your own; find out which of the thoughts I offer resonate for you.  Prepare yourself against those "stinging darts".If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a 60 minute consult with me;  click HERE*Sign up for my weekly email:  click HERE*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!
There are three parts to every relationship.1.  What you think others think about you2.  What you think about them3.  What you think about yourself.Guess where most our time is spent trying to change or figure out?  Part 1.  But we need to be spending our focus on the other two parts.....what you think about them and what you think about yourself.  Those are the parts you have control over.  "What someone else thinks of me is none of my business."  Meaningful relationships with our adult children are based on love; loving that you both have opinions; loving them exactly as they are; loving yourself exactly as you are.If you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a 60 minute consult with me*Sign up for my weekly email*Receive my free resource,  Three Steps To Being Yourself In Your Relationships With Adult Children.        NEW RESOURCE!
We know seeking after perfection is not good for our mental health.  But we really want that family with those adult kids to be a little more perfect.  That image of what we thought life with adult children would look like is often crushed by their behavior and our perspective of something has gone wrong.  But the messy parts of life are not bad; they are not only just the parts of life that didn't work out but also they are the parts of life that offer us wisdom.....our lesson in life.  Did you know that your parenting has nothing to do with your child's behavior as adults?    There are no negative emotions; we just have emotions.  If we listen to them and validate them, they will serve us.  Example:  When Meg was feeling anger, she figured out that she was really just feeling resentment.  Resentment was trying to tell her to stand up for herself.  She gives so many helpful ways to process these feelings that we feel are harmful to our emotional well-being but how to use them to help us feel self-assured and act like the person who self-validates themselves.Here is where to find out more about Meg Tilton:Website:  Megtiltoncoaching.comIG and FB:   megtiltoncoachingemail:  meg@megtiltoncoaching.comIf you enjoyed this podcast and want to start finding out how to work with me, go to the following resources:Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a free, 60 minute consult with me*Sign up for my weekly email*Receive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children.*Find me on IG or FB bonnielymancoaching*email:  Bonnie@bonnielyman.com
Nobody ever told us that being a parent to adult children could be challenging.   Nobody ever talked about the responsibilities of this new job and that it was so different than when they were younger.  This episode is all about the six ways we can show up as the best parent we can at this time, and then forever, of their lives; a parent that unconditionally loves and respects their children in all decisions that they make.  Love and respect is all they need now from their parents.If you are tired of feeling pain in your relationship with your adult child(ren), I can show you how to find peace.  Been there; done that.....Book a consult call with me.  Click HERE.
When your adult child tells you that he/she wants no contact with you of any kind, it feels like death.  It feels that you have been robbed of one of your most prized possessions.  It is embracing the pain and the understanding of agency that will bring you to acceptance and peace.  It is a process that you can do at your own pace to finally be able to forgive someone that might not deserve to be forgiven.  Tune in to find out how to move forward in this difficult situation.  I can help you stop feeling pain in your relationship with your adult childrenGo to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a free, 60 minute consult with me
Compare and Despair

Compare and Despair

2022-05-1945:03

Comparing and disparing is viewing your insides as not as valuable or as good as what you view someone else's outsides (Kara Lowenthiel).  When we look at another family with adult children and all seems to be going well and then look at our family and feel that the relationship is broken, it causes us to be unhappy.Tune in to listen to why we compare ourselves to others; why it is not harmful to our living a satisfying life, and some remedies to avoid comparing yourself to others.Figuring out how to find the sunshine in the middle of a storm is one of the most valuable things we can learn in this life.  This is one more tool to put in your "figuring life out" toolbox.I can help you stop feeling pain in your relationship with your adult childrenGo to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a free, 60 minute consult with me*Sign up for my weekly email*Receive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.
Mother's Day

Mother's Day

2022-05-0535:17

Mother's Day is much too often the worst day of the year for a lot of women.  But if we were to change our perspective on what Mother's Day is all about, it can be a very heartfelt, tender and loving day.  My heart goes out to those women who wanted children and were never able to have any and to those women who have had children who died in their lifetime and to those women and to those women who placed children for adoption.  If you are a mom and making Mother's Day about you, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.  It is not about you.  If you change your perspective and focus on all the great mother figures in your life, you will have a very beautiful day.  Every women born, was born with the traits to be a mother figure, not only to her own children but also to all children and to other women needing help.  Women have a special gene that enables them to naturally uplift others.  Tune in to have a happier Mother's Day than what you might be expecting.I can help you fix what is not working in your relationship so you can feel love and peace with your adult children and move forward in your life.Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a free, 60 minute consult with me*Sign up for my weekly email*Receive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.
It can become so easy to feel some self-pity when we are not having the relationship we would like to have with our adult children.  We justify having these pity parties but they never help us feel better.  They just add "fuel to the fire".  Why?  Because feeling sorry for ourselves keeps us stuck in the cycle of thinking negative thoughts, especially when it comes to our thoughts about our relationship with our adult child.  Tune in to learn how to get out of self-pity.  I help you stop struggling in your relationship with your adult children.Go to bonnielyman.com to:*Book a free, 60 minute consult with me*Sign up for my weekly email*Receive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.You can also follow me on or DM me on Instagram @bonnielymancoaching.Questions?  Suggestions for podcast topics.  Email me at bonnie@bonnielyman.com 
Have you ever done a zig saw puzzle before and you just knew when they cut the puzzle they left a piece out?  Sometimes our problems in life feel the same.  Sometimes we create problems that aren't even problems.  It's so much easier to whine about a problem than to embrace it.  We know they are coming but we still avoid or neglect them.  What if we thought about them as being a part of living a full life?  Did you know our brains love to solve problems so much that it will create a problem if they cannot find one?  It is easier to solve a problem when we choose to be a part of the solution to the problem rather than a part of the problem.I help you fix your relationship with your adult children so you can feel connected to them.If you want to know more about me go to bonnielyman.com Book a free, 60 minute consult with meSign up for my weekly emailReceive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.You can also follow me on or DM me on Instagram @bonnielymancoaching.Questions?  Suggestions for podcast topics.  Email me at bonnie@bonnielyman.com
Who Do You Want To Be?

Who Do You Want To Be?

2022-04-1332:58

Who do you want to be?  This podcast will help you become that person.  I will give you step be step instructions on how to become this person.  It's one of the best uses of the Model you will ever use, but we work backwards.Action:  Kind PersonFeeling:  Compassionate, lovingThought:  People are doing the best they can at this moment in their life.You can reprogram your brain to default to this thought every time you are dealing with difficult people.  (well, not every time: we after all human).  I will show you how.  If you are unfamiliar with the Model, listen to Episode 7, the Model Is The Magic Sauce.I help moms navigate life with their adult children.  If you want to know more about me go to bonnielyman.com . And to sign up for any of the  free resourceslisted below:Book a free, 60 minute consult with meSign up for my weekly emailReceive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.You can also follow me on or DM me on Instagram @bonnielymancoaching.Questions?  Suggestions for podcast topics.  Email me at bonnie@bonnielyman.com 
The land of being curious is safe, compassionate, and loving.  We can be judgmental, or loving is best, but to get there we might need sometimes to go through being curious.  Curious about our thoughts and whether they are good thoughts to focus on; curious about why our adult children make some of the choices they make; curious about who you want to be to your adult children and the world when unfulfilled expectations show up; and curious, genuinely curious, lovingly curious, curiosity that causes you to understand and show interest and love to your child when he goes against all of your most important values.  I help moms navigate life with their adult children.  If you want to know more about me go to bonnielyman.com . And to sign up for any of the  free resourceslisted below:Book a free, 60 minute consult with meSign up for my weekly emailReceive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.You can also follow me on or DM me on Instagram @bonnielymancoaching.Questions?  Suggestions for podcast topics.  Email me at bonnie@bonnielyman.com 
Instead of hiding and running from adversity, why not welcome it.  Adversity can teach us lessons, strengthen us, and show us how God is the the details of our lives like nothing else can.  We are dependent upon having adversity in our lives to have those amazing moments be so amazing.  It is part of living a well lived life so let us give a big welcome to adversity.  After listening to this episode you may not seek it it but hopefully when it comes, you will not fear it.  I help moms navigate life with their adult children.  If you want to know more about me go to bonnielyman.com . And to sign up for any of the  free resourceslisted below:Book a free, 60 minute consult with meSign up for my weekly emailReceive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.You can also follow me on or DM me on Instagram @bonnielymancoaching.Questions?  Suggestions for podcast topics.  Email me at bonnie@bonnielyman.com 
We are impatient beings, we human beings are.  It is so uncomfortable being uncomfortable.  What if we welcomed the negative emotions that come on a daily basis.  Those negative experiences make the good experiences even better.  It is when we are feeling discomfort that we go to work to solve some of our most important decisions.  It is in the midst of hard things that we grow strong and resilient .  Even learning to manage our thoughts to feel the feelings we want to feel can cause us to feel some negative emotions.  Don't miss out on living a full life by not getting really good at feeling the negative feelings along with the positive ones.  I help moms navigate life with their adult children.  If you want to know more about me go to bonnielyman.com . And to sign up for any of the  free resourceslisted below:Book a free, 60 minute consult with meSign up for my weekly emailReceive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.You can also follow me on or DM me on Instagram @bonnielymancoaching.Questions?  Suggestions for podcast topics.  Email me at bonnie@bonnielyman.com 
It upsets our lives when our children stray from what we tried so diligently and purposely to teach them.  We grieve over our heartbrokenness ..... which is a very healthy and repairing thing to do.  But then what?  Sometimes we get so stuck in our despair and disappointment that it has a major impact on our lives.  We want to accept what they have done and move on with our lives but we don't know how to.  If we can view what's going on in our children's lives from a different perspective, we can begin to grow away from judgment, inching our way to acceptance and then love.  Part of Heavenly Father's plan was that we would all make mistakes; some of life's lessons are best learned from mistakes.  We are either judging each other or loving each other.....judgement never feels good; love always feels best.  Tune in to learn how to get out of despair and into acceptance, peace, and love.I help moms navigate life with their adult children.  If you want to know more about me go to bonnielyman.com . And to sign up for any of the  free resources listed below:Book a free, 60 minute consult with me Sign up for my weekly emailReceive my free resource, on Three Remedies to Connect with Your Adult Children,.You can also follow me on or DM me on Instagram @bonnielymancoaching.Questions?  Suggestions for podcast topics.  Email me at bonnie@bonnielyman.com 
Comments (1)

Lydia Black

I'm so excited to hear how to parent adults! I'm looking forward to joining the program and learning how to "Love on Purpose"!

Jan 25th
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