Life Lived Better

When you talk to yourself, what do you say? Does your inner voice compliment or criticize? How can we change a negative inner voice to a positive? In this episode, Joseph and Paula address Self-Talk...the reason it exists and how to use it to your advantage.   Questions? If you have questions, you would like Joseph and Paula to address during an upcoming episode of Questions for Counselors, feel free to reach out through the website at www.lifelivedbetter.net or email them directly at Info@lifelivedbetter.net     You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: www.lifelivedbetter.net.     Just a reminder - anything shared during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice - it is solely our opinion. Information shared does not represent our employers or profession.   We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us.   And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.    Resourced Information  Information for this episode was resourced from the following sources:  7 Examples of Positive Self-Talk - Jay Shetty Genius -  21 Examples of Negative Self Talk & Negative Thoughts That Kill (thedailymeditation.com)  Self-Talk | Psychology Today 

No matter which you celebrate, we wish you the warmest of winter holidays! You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: www.lifelivedbetter.net. Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession. Let us hear from you. If you have any question, you want the pair to tackle, just email. Maybe your question will be addressed in future episodes. info@lifelivedbetter.net We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us.

We want to take a minute to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving.  We will be back December 8 to begin Season 3.  Until then, don't forget, that knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.  Warmly,  Joseph and Paula  www.lifelivedbetter.net

Happy New Year! The research tells us that resolutions don't work. Of the people who set them: 23% quit in the first week 43% give up in the first month 91% quit before the end of the year In this episode, Joseph and Paula discuss setting goals rather than resolutions. They will share the research, the resolutions Americans made for 2025, tips to get to your goals, and some apps and other resources that help you reach goals. Questions? If you have a question, you would like Joseph and Paula to answer during an episode of Questions for Counselors, feel free to reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email them directly at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.   Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better. Resources used to create this episode:  10 Great Ways How To Achieve New Year’s Resolutions 77 New Year's Resolution Ideas and How to Keep Them | Quicken A Radical Alternative to New Year's Goal-Setting | Psychology Today How can I follow through with my New Year's resolutions? – Deseret News How to Make Goals You’ll Actually Stick to This Year, According to a Psychologist These are America’s most popular New Year’s resolutions for 2025 - The Columbian

Paula shares the 9 Tips to Decrease Holiday Stress that are recommended by the Mayo Clinic. Joseph and Paula, both wish you the happiest of holidays and look forward to being with you again in 2025. Questions? If you have a question, you would like Joseph and Paula to answer during an episode of Questions for Counselors, feel free to reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email them directly at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠⁠⁠ You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.   Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better. Resources used to create this episode:  Tips to fend off holiday stress - Mayo Clinic Health System

Joseph and Paula are so grateful for you. We are grateful you listen and interact with us on our social media platforms. Our website is www.lifelivedbetter.net You can find us on Facebook Twitter Instagram TikTok

In this episode, Joseph and Paula are bringing you a listener's favorite! Questions for Counselors.  Questions? If you have a question, you would like Joseph and Paula to answer during an episode of Questions for Counselors, feel free to reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email them directly at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.   Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better. Resources used to create this episode:  What is Mental Health?  Life Lived Better Podcast Episode 117: Staying Mentally Healthy  Life Lived Better Podcast Episode 114: After the Relationship Ends Life Lived Better Podcast Episode 107: Healthy Coping Strategies  Life Lived Better Podcast Episode 67: Love Addiction  Life Lived Better Podcast Episodes 48 - 51 - our series on abuse

We are excited to announce the launch of our podcast - Life, Lived Better. In this trailer, we share a little about the podcast and tell you where to find us. Our official launch date is January 6, 2022 and we can't wait to share some educational topics and many fun conversations!  We hope you'll enjoy and keep coming back!  You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: www.lifelivedbetter.net. Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession. Let us hear from you. If you have a question, you want the pair to tackle, just email. Maybe your question will be addressed in future episodes. info@lifelivedbetter.net

Join Joseph and Paula for another episode of a listener favorite - Questions for Counselors. In this episode they take on a variety of questions, including asking our co-hosts if they have ever used substances, what they had to do to become counselors, if counselors see counselors, and how to get over a breakup. Do you have any questions? If you have a question for Joseph and Paula to answer during a future episode of Questions for Counselors, reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.Resources mentioned on the episode:Episode 113: Failing RelationshipsEpisode 114: After the Relationship Ends Episode 137: Romantic Relationships, Part 1Episode 138: Romantic Relationships, Part 2

Thank you for listening to another Mental Health Moment, from the Life Lived Better podcast, where we quickly provide insight into issues that affect most of us,In this episode, we areTaking Mental health to Work.You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared in this, and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.

In this episode Joseph and Paula complete their exploration the difference between healthy and unhealthy romantic relationships. From communication styles and trust to red flags and boundaries, we break down what helps love thrive and what can slowly erode it. Whether you’re currently in a relationship or reflecting on past experiences, this conversation will give you practical insights to better understand what healthy love looks like—and how to spot when things may be turning unhealthy.Do you have any questions? If you have a question for Joseph and Paula to answer now or during a future episode of Questions for Counselors, reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  Please consider rating, reviewing, and sharing our show with others. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.Previous Episodes Mentioned: Episode 125: The Power of BoundariesEpisode 20: The 5 Love LanguagesResources used to create this episode: Harvard-trained couples therapists married nearly 50 years: 5 things people in happy, successful relationships don't doHow to Prepare Yourself for a Healthy Relationship: 12 Key StepsMarriage.com

In this episode Joseph and Paula explore the difference between healthy and unhealthy romantic relationships. From communication styles and trust to red flags and boundaries, we break down what helps love thrive and what can slowly erode it. Whether you’re currently in a relationship or reflecting on past experiences, this conversation will give you practical insights to better understand what healthy love looks like—and how to spot when things may be turning unhealthy.Do you have any questions? If you have a question for Joseph and Paula to answer now or during a future episode of Questions for Counselors, reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  Please consider rating, reviewing, and sharing our show with others. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.Previous Episodes Mentioned: Episode 125: The Power of BoundariesEpisode 20: The 5 Love LanguagesResources used to create this episode: Harvard-trained couples therapists married nearly 50 years: 5 things people in happy, successful relationships don't doHow to Prepare Yourself for a Healthy Relationship: 12 Key StepsMarriage.com

In this episode, we finish up our conversation with Collier Landry. We were privileged to have Collier Landry join us on the podcast. You might know Collier from the documentary, originally aired on ID TV and now on Prime, called A Murder in Mansfield. Collier was the main subject of that documentary. At 11-years old, Collier was witness to the murder of his mother and at 12 he testified for the defense against his father. His father, Dr. Jack Boyle was convicted and sentenced to life in prison.Collier is a cinematographer and filmmaker. His work is featured The NY Times, Variety, Esquire, USA Today, The Daily Mail, and The NY Post. He has been a TEDx Speaker and a guest on The Dr. Phil Show. Collier has a podcast called Moving Past Murder, which you can find on the major platforms, and you can watch it live on YouTube.Visit Collier's ⁠website⁠, find information about his podcast, ⁠Moving Past Murder⁠, and access his Ted Talk, ⁠What Happens When the answers we seek are not what we find⁠ or go to his ⁠YouTube Channel⁠. Collier can be found on most social media platforms, like ⁠Twitter⁠, ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠Facebook⁠, and ⁠Tik Tok⁠.Please Note: The content and language in this episode is for adults. Please use discretion when listening.If you have a question, you would like Joseph and Paula to answer during an episode of Questions for Counselors, feel free to reach out through the website at ⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠ or email them directly at ⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠  You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠.  Paula’s Blog is often updated with information from the show. You can find it at ⁠PaulaHellerGarland.BlogSpot.com⁠  Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession. We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better. #lifelivedbetter #counseling #therapy #podcast #love #education #lifestyle #wellness #psychology #love #education #drphil #drphilshow #murder #murderinmansfield #collierlandry #TEDx #NYTimes #Variety #esquire #USAToday #TheDailyMail #nypost #movingpastmurder #trauma #recovery #grief #advocacy #survivor

We were privileged to have Collier Landry join us on the podcast. You might know Collier from the documentary, originally aired on ID TV and now on Prime, called A Murder in Mansfield. Collier was the main subject of that documentary. At 11-years old, Collier was witness to the murder of his mother and at 12 he testified for the defense against his father. His father, Dr. Jack Boyle was convicted and sentenced to life in prison. Collier is a cinematographer and filmmaker. His work is featured The NY Times, Variety, Esquire, USA Today, The Daily Mail, and The NY Post. He has been a TEDx Speaker and a guest on The Dr. Phil Show. Collier has a podcast called Moving Past Murder, which you can find on the major platforms, and you can watch it live on YouTube. Visit Collier's ⁠website⁠, find information about his podcast, ⁠Moving Past Murder⁠, and access his Ted Talk, ⁠What Happens When the answers we seek are not what we find⁠ or go to his ⁠YouTube Channel⁠. Collier can be found on most social media platforms, like ⁠Twitter⁠, ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠Facebook⁠, and ⁠Tik Tok⁠. Please Note: The content and language in this episode is for adults. Please use discretion when listening. If you have a question, you would like Joseph and Paula to answer during an episode of Questions for Counselors, feel free to reach out through the website at ⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠ or email them directly at ⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠  You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠.  Paula’s Blog is often updated with information from the show. You can find it at ⁠PaulaHellerGarland.BlogSpot.com⁠  Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession. We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better. #lifelivedbetter #counseling #therapy #podcast #love #education #lifestyle #wellness #psychology #love #education #drphil #drphilshow #murder #murderinmansfield #collierlandry #TEDx #NYTimes #Variety #esquire #USAToday #TheDailyMail #nypost #movingpastmurder #trauma #recovery #grief #advocacy #survivor

Thank you for listening to another Mental Health Moment, from the Life Lived Better podcast, where we quickly provide insight into issues that affect most of us,In this episode, we are talking organization.You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared in this, and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.

In this episode Joseph and Paula continue their Relationship series by diving into the important topic of healthy versus unhealthy family relationships. Families can be a source of love, support, and belonging—but they can also create stress, conflict, or even harm when dynamics become unhealthy. We’ll explore the signs of a supportive, nurturing family system, as well as red flags that may point to toxic patterns. Together, we’ll discuss practical strategies for setting boundaries, fostering open communication, and building healthier connections with loved ones. Whether you’re reflecting on your childhood, navigating current family dynamics, or looking to create a positive home environment, this episode offers insights and tools to help you understand and strengthen your family relationships.Do you have any questions? If you have a question for Joseph and Paula to answer now or during a future episode of Questions for Counselors, reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  Please consider rating, reviewing, and sharing our show with others. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.Resources used to create this episode: 11 Things Parents Should Never Say To Adult Children If They Want A Real Relationship With Them

Thank you for listening to another Mental Health Moment, from the Life Lived Better podcast, where we quickly provide insight into issues that affect most of us,In this episode, we are talking cyberbullying.You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared in this, and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.

In this episode Joseph and Paula explore what it means to have a healthy relationship with yourself—and why it matters. The co-hosts break down the key elements of self-respect and emotional well-being. Our hosts share personal reflections, expert insights, and practical tips to help build a more supportive and nurturing inner dialogue. Whether you’re working on healing, growing, or simply learning to show up for yourself, this episode is a reminder: the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with you.Do you have any questions? If you have a question for Joseph and Paula to answer now or during a future episode of Questions for Counselors, reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  Please consider rating, reviewing, and sharing our show with others. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.Past Episode mentioned Life Lived Better Podcast Episode 96: Inner Dialogue Resources used to create this episode: Greater Good Science Center (UC Berkeley)Kristin Neff’s Self-CompassionPsychology TodayBooks of Interest on this TopicThe Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff

We are excited to let you know about a new addition to our format. We are calling Mental Health Moment, where we will provide insight into issues that affect most of us…but it will be done quickly…with the intention of dropping a nugget in between our more involved episodes. We hope you enjoy them.In the inaugural episode, we are talking about something that shows up for everyone — stress.You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared in this, and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  We would love for you to rate our show and tell others about us. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.

In this episode Joseph and Paula explore the dynamics of social relationships—the good, the bad, and everything in between. What makes a friendship truly supportive? And how can you tell when a relationship is starting to become emotionally draining or toxic? From red flags like manipulation, competition, and one-sided effort to green flags like mutual respect, trust, and accountability, the co-hosts break down the key differences between healthy and unhealthy social bonds. They also share practical tips on setting boundaries, recognizing when to walk away, and how to prioritize your well-being in your social life.Whether you're questioning a long-time friendship or learning how to build better connections, this episode offers insight and guidance you won’t want to miss.Do you have any questions? If you have a question for Joseph and Paula to answer now or during a future episode of Questions for Counselors, reach out through the website at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or email ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Info@lifelivedbetter.net  ⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠You can find information about this and other episodes on the website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.lifelivedbetter.net⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Just a reminder - anything shared by the pair during this and all other episodes is based on personal experiences and opinions. It is not to be viewed as professional counseling or advice and is solely the opinion of the individual and does not represent their employers or profession.  Please consider rating, reviewing, and sharing our show with others. And remember, Knowledge leads to a Life Lived Better.Resources used to create this episode: Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond by Lydia Denworth Greater Good Science Center – UC Berkeley https://greatergood.berkeley.edu Mental Health America (MHA) www.mhanational.orgThe Gottman Institute www.gottman.comApps You Might Want to Check Out: Peanut (for women seeking community and friendship)Meetup (find local interest groups and events)Hey! VINA or Friender (apps to make platonic connections)Circles (group support for people going through similar life experiences)