Square Peg Round Hole

You don’t want to miss this episode. In my opinion anyway (but I’m biased).Clearly, I’ve been away from the microphone for a few weeks—much longer than even I expected for sure. But I’ve had good reason. And the lessons I’ve been learning during this hiatus have only helped to strengthen what I’ve been wanting to say to my loyal listeners as I talk openly about my recent experiences. As you can ascertain from the title, my emphasis is simple: slow down. Sounds easy. It’s not. It requires a deliberate decision every day. But if we would adhere to this logic, we’d improve our lives and the lives of the people around us—the whole world to be honest. I can’t encourage you enough to listen and apply.If you’re interested in finding a greater sense of connection and belonging in your life, this is the best 25 minutes you can spend today. I promise!Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Sometimes life feels insurmountable. Those are the moments when you don't believe you have the strength or stamina to overcome the obstacles in your path—the seasons when you seriously consider giving up.You're not alone. We all face seasons in life when molehills feel like mountains. But there's always hope if we will learn to pause long enough to catch our breath and recalibrate to do the climb that lies ahead of us.When you don't feel confident or capable, you should tell yourself a different story with a better ending than the one you imagine. In this episode, I want to share some ABCs to help motivate you to keep moving.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

"If it doesn't bring you peace, profit, or purpose, then don't give it your time, energy, or attention." —UnknownI posted that quote on social media over the last few days. As you might suppose, the response was affirming. Because it just makes sense, right? So why does such simple wisdom appear to be so difficult to implement in our lives? Why do we give our time, energy, and attention away so easily?I tackle these questions in this episode and attempt to offer some practical suggestions that can provide perspective we can all implement.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

No one likes to admit the possibility they might create the majority of their own problems or that they are the source of their own pain. Even considering the idea is slightly embarrassing. Or shameful. But is it true?I hate to be the one to tell you, but it’s true. Most of our pain is self-inflicted.Deliberately? Not usually. Inadvertently? Most likely. Until we even ponder that possibility, we'll continue to suffer unnecessarily in areas completely within our control. This is true for both our internal and external battles. And it's especially true for our relational challenges and well-being.Our personal struggles—private and public—are more solvable than we can imagine when we learn to recognize the signs of emotional self-harm. In this episode, Timothy Eldred unpacks three easily-remedied, self-harm behaviors that can improve your life once you learn to recognize the signs. They might be easier to change than you think.- - -SHOW NOTESDuring the episode, Tim addresses some self-harm behaviors. Here's a list of the three he mentions and a few more to consider for your life:PretendingSharing with people who can't support you*Not asking for what you need*Judging yourself harshlyBeing inauthenticThinking negatively about yourselfPreoccupying yourself with other people's livesExpecting things to be perfectAllowing fear to stop youChoosing to remain silentComplaining without changing what you can control*If you have thoughts or questions about any of these behaviors, please send an email to: podcast@timothyeldred.com.  We may address them in a future episode for everyone's benefit. Your voice matters, and we always appreciate hearing from you.- - -Here are additional resources you may want to read for insight into this issue:https://myonlinetherapy.com/emotional-self-harm/https://themighty.com/topic/self-harm/types-of-self-harmhttps://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/speakingoutaboutselfinjury/2020/6/can-self-harm-be-emotionalhttps://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201908/emotional-self-harm-people-pleasing-can-ruin-your-happinessThanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Does that title sound a bit harsh? Well, it is certainly abrupt. Why? Because sometimes there's no sugarcoating the truth. And the truth can hurt. But there are times we need someone to speak boldly and get our attention. That's what I hope to do for us in this episode. My goal is to both challenge and encourage us all to remember the power we possess—the power of choice. We can choose what we listen to. And who we listen to. We have control over our minds and our mouths. So instead of getting all wound up with all the news and noise of the world and believing the worst about ourselves and others, perhaps it's time to learn to wind down. Especially in light of the growing anxiety people are experiencing today.So shut up and relax isn't just a title. It's a prescription to reclaim your life.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

We overthink. And the thoughts bouncing around in our brains shape our world and become our reality. We also take life too seriously. Is it any wonder we are so emotionally stressed and uptight? What would happen if we chose to relax, care less, and see life as a beautiful gift? Because it is precisely that, my friends. That truth is available for everyone to experience every single day.You don't have to take everything so serious or let others' thoughts dictate your days which means you don’t have to:Pretend to agree with everyoneTake responsibility for how others feelApologize oftenAlways say yesFeel uncomfortable if someone disapproves of youAct like the people around youNeed praise to feel goodGo to great lengths to avoid conflictSuccumb to the pressure of fitting inBelieve you are less than othersTolerate toxic peopleThe choice to abandon these behaviors is 100% yours. No one else controls you. But only you can lighten up and stop overthinking. With that list in mind, here are a couple of questions:Who is the person I am being in my life and showing the world? And how much of that person is the truth of who I am?How am I using my public persona to hide my authentic self, and why do I feel the need to hide it?Do I feel a disconnection between the person I pretend to be in the world and the person I connect with more deeply inside myself?What would it look like for me to take off the mask and live more authentically?I'm excited for you to listen today and find some long-needed freedom on your path to living with authenticity in an artificial world.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Most of the time, many people who are trying to make significant and lasting changes in their life do one major thing wrong—they go too far too fast. It's like quitting a habit cold turkey. You are either going to fail now or relapse later because you bit off more than you can chew.Well, breaking free from the acceptance of others is even harder because of the emotional addictions we suffer from in life that keep us hooked on the praise and applause of people. And while we are busy living for the approval of others, we're dying a little bit inside.The more and more we sacrifice our identity to gain acceptance, the less and less of us is left. So how do you move ahead as your authentic self in a world that requires you to be someone you're not? Slowly. One step at a time is the recipe for finally being free to be you. Or just be.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Have you heard the phrase (or used the phrase) I need to put on my face? It’s an idiom about putting on makeup; however, the concept can be applied in much broader terms. Because we all put on a “face” of sorts. Our face (or public persona) is the outward identity we reveal to others which may or may not portray the true, authentic you. In this episode, I talk about the idea of not only taking off your mask but actually choosing to not even put on your face in the first place. What would happen in the world if we followed this challenge? What if we let other people see our blemishes and brokenness? Would we be better as a society? Would we be healthier as the human race?If you’ve listened in the past, you already know my answer to those facetious questions. If you’re new to Square Peg Round Hole, welcome. You’re about to know my answer, too. But regardless of how long you’ve been listening, I believe you will be brave enough to break some rules to become your true, authentic self in this artificial world. Cheers!Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Have you noticed that it's nobody's fault anymore? No one is responsible. For anything. Personal responsibility is becoming ancient history. It's no longer a virtue we value. Everyone wants to fight for their rights. But few want to be held accountable for their behavior. For their personal choices. Does life actually work that way? Has it ever?  I'm wading into that idea today with a point of view that the lack of personal responsibility is the greatest threat facing humanity. Not terrorism. No pandemics. Not climate change. And yes. I'll take responsibility for my words. 😂SHOW LINKS:Hope Partners InternationalThe Prime Belief | Article by Mark MansonThe Subtle Art of Not Giving a F@$kComments? Questions? I'd love to hear from you.Contact Timothy EldredThanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

What is love anyway? Has it been so exploited or so poorly explained that we really have no idea anymore? Maybe our ideas about love are the very reason we don't understand it in a healthy way. Or perhaps it's only my perspective on the whole subject that is wrong. Who knows? But either way, that's my focus on this episode for your consideration. My goal is to be encouraging, but I'm fine with challenging our thinking on the topic as well because there's obviously room for improvement in our world where love seems to be misconstrued—or just missing.SHOW LINKS:Hope Partners InternationalThe CompleMentorThanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

The ‘middle ground’ of compromise is becoming scarcer and scarcer. Tolerance—once a cherished concept in our world—has disappeared from our human vernacular. We are a harshly divided world. Is that the way it has always been? Or is it getting increasingly worse? Are we broken beyond repair? Is there a bridge from the chasm of conflict to one of decency and dignity? We’d better start answering these questions.In this episode, I will attempt to address those daunting questions with some ancient wisdom. And I will offer a common sense solution as well—a solution completely within our power that has existed as the cure for our greatest human crises since the dawn of time. Maybe this episode can become a catalyst for compromise and change.If nothing else, perhaps it will spark some much-needed dialogue few are willing to have in our world today because it goes beyond the surface to the heart of the matter.SPONSOR: Hope Partners InternationalThanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Life is change. And change is hard. That about sums it up, right. Every time we turn around we have to adjust to some occurrence in the world—or in our personal world at least. Obviously, that's not a newsflash. But how do you make good decisions when it comes to inevitable change? How do you discern where to invest your time, energy, and emotions and pivot to experience the greatest benefit? That's the heart of the question I want to discuss with you in this episode, as I challenge you to consider the difference between spending and investing.  What would happen if we paused as long to think about how we expend our emotional, physical, and spiritual energies as we do our financial resources. Would we see a greater return with life-changing results? I say the answer is absolutely—yes!Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Here are two truths: 1) Everyone has a story. 2) Change is hard. On this episode, my guest, Dai Manuel, discusses both of these realities from his life.  Our conversation is honest and practical for anyone seeking any kind of holistic transformation: body, mind, and spirit. If you’re looking to make changes to your life, please listen and also check out his simple but effective programs and training. I am on day 10 of his 28-day challenge right now and loving the impact this simple routine is having on my life already. Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

There's no one alive who doesn't carry baggage. Yes, even you. It might be the pain of the past that has followed you around for years—even decades. It could be current problems looming over you that seem impossible to shake. Baggage comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Baggage has different names and labels. Regardless, it's heavy. And it's a drag to drag around. The question we all have to answer is how long until we let go of it? How long before we embrace it and own it? Because until we do, we can't unpack it and lighten our load. That's the topic I want to tackle—unpack—with you today in hopes it will help you become freer to be your true authentic self in this artificial world. You'll hear me refer to my book, Alone Sucks, a couple of times in this episode. I'm pleased to know thousands of people have found comfort and practical advice in my words and story. I encourage you to order your copy here.  As always, thanks for listening. Before you close out of your podcast app, thanks for leaving a five-star review. If you get time, I’d appreciate if you’d share this episode with others.- - -Disclosure: Many thoughts for today’s episode are inspired by or borrowed directly from Jessica Zweig because she’s brilliant—and 90% of her ideas happen to coincide with mine 😂. If you need a personal branding expert, you should take a look at her agency, Simply.Be.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Conversations don’t have to be confrontations. They can simply be honest, transparent, and vulnerable dialogue. But how do you create conditions for productive discussions? Simple. You come to the table ready to listen and learn something new about the other person. And you come without the need to prove a point.This week on Episode 10 of Square Peg Round Hole, I invite you into an authentic conversation I had recently with my friend and colleague, Erica Schimelpfenig, President of YouthWorks. Erica and I began this discussion a couple of years ago, and I have been anxious to return to the dialogue ever since—because I want to understand her point of view.As you'll hear, Erica and I come from two different worlds. She is a woman of color. And I am a white man. But we share a similar outcome and objective—to make sure no one feels alone. So Listen if you want your thoughts challenged. Listen if you want to hear transparent points of view. Listen if you want to make our planet a better place for people to live!Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

There are only two areas of life—two—what you can control and what you can’t. You know the saying: 10% of life is what happens to you and 90% is how you respond to it.When you focus on what you can control, you become strong. When you ignore what you can’t control, you become free. So that means you must give 100% to the 10%. And while all of that sounds cliché and trite, it’s remains absolutely true; nonetheless, we seldom adjust accordingly to experience life to the fullest. Why do we choose less?On today’s episode, Tim goes public and shares the details of his health issues over the last two years and the lessons he's learning that are relevant to your life regardless of your crisis.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

You know that story you keep telling yourself? Yeah, the one you keeping playing over and over again on a constant loop. The one that keeps you stuck in the status quo of life. Isn't it time to knock that off? Of course, the answer is yes. But how exactly? How do you stop self-sabotaging? Well, it's not terribly difficult. But that doesn't make it easy either. So here's the big idea: You start by telling yourself a different story with a better ending. And that's what I'm talking about on today's episode by using myself as an example.Recommended Resources:BLOG: What to do When You Feel Defeated?BOOK: Choose Your Story. Change Your Life.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Is there a relevant connection between the life of an NFL player and the average person? It might not seem like it at first glance because of the glitz and glamour that comes from being a professional athlete, but you'd be wrong to make that assumption. Real people have real pain and real problems. Regardless of our role, position, or profession, life has challenges. On today's episode, I have a conversation with my friend, Johnny Shelton. Johnny was an NFL player and now serves as an NFL chaplain for the Baltimore Ravens. The insight and wisdom he shares will give you tools for navigating your own daily struggles. You're going to love this chat between friends both trying to bring out the best in others.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

I love conversations that challenge my thinking because that's the beginning of learning. Well, on today's episode, my guest, Jeff Goins, didn't disappoint. I never even got to the questions I wanted to ask because Jeff just jumped to warp speed and took me on a journey I'm still processing. What made this conversation so powerful was the authenticity (even though it wasn't about authenticity). This discussion was a true and rare gift, and if you listen closely, it will be for your life as well. Buckle up, my friends. We turned on the cameras and let them roll. There are no edits, no cuts, and no apologies for raising hard questions and ideas most people have but few feel they can ask without being cancelled or condemned. Jeff and I are about to take you beyond your comfort zone to a beautiful place few have the courage to go.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.

Today,  I continue my conversation with Monty Hipp about trust as we discuss 10 contributions to building trustworthiness in your life. These nuggets of truth are valuable whether you've broken trust like we talked about in part one of our conversation or not. Before we dive into the issue of trust, we lay some essential groundwork of what it means to not only have a mission but to live in mission in life. Regardless of your role, position, or profession, this conversation is critical to creating the best version of yourself.Thanks for listening. Please follow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. You can learn more about Tim here.