Queer Everything

I'm excited to be on today with two longtime friends. They met in medical school in Beirut and have been together for 18 years. I jokingly call their story the worst one night stand ever– because 18 years, two countries, several cities, and two children later, they’re still going strong. Their story is beautiful, and it has it all – from years of one having no idea that the other was pursuing them, to long distance before they could be together, making hard decisions about love and career, navigating family and the world, and finally where they are now, bringing up their two little boys, starting with an adoption call that changed their lives forever. I was 35 when I met a long-term gay woman couple for the first time, in which the women were significantly older than me. It brought to mind an Adrienne Rich quote about the consequences of invisibility and lack of modeling. It goes: “When those who have the power to name and to socially construct reality choose not to see you or hear you...when someone with the authority of a teacher, say, describes the world and you are not in it, there is a moment of psychic disequilibrium, as if you looked in the mirror and saw nothing. It takes some strength of soul--and not just individual strength, but collective understanding--to resist this void, this non-being, into which you are thrust, and to stand up, demanding to be seen and heard.”As those who’ve been listening to the podcast know, part of this project is to offer our stories to people like us and to the world. We are here. And it is my pleasure and privilege to be able to share about who we are. Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

In this episode, I continue my conversation with Mx. Yaffa, a queer, indigenous, displaced Palestinian person who currently serves as the executive director of the Muslim Alliance for Sexual and Gender Diversity. In this episode, we talk more about the challenging and necessary work that they do with queer muslims and Palestinians. I am struck by Yaffa’s commitment to doing work that is really hard. You may recall the efforts earlier this year by a conservative coalition of American Muslim groups to ally themselves with right-wing efforts in the US to target queer and trans people. LGBT people face homophobia and transphobia everywhere right now, and Muslim LGBT people often face the double-bind of transphobia and homophobia in their home communities, and Islamophobia in the queer community and the world at large. Community spaces are more important than ever right now. Yaffa also has a collection of poetry called Blood Orange, which just dropped on November 16th. She tells the story of how she was inspired to write it in this episode as well. All profits from the collection go to supporting queer and trans Palestinian work on the ground and elsewhere, so please consider getting yourself a copy– links in the show notes.Buy a copy of Blood Orange!Follow Yaffa on Instagram at @yaffasutopiaFollow MASGD on Instagram at @themasgd and sign up for their newsletter here.Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

My guest today is Mx.Yaffa, Executive Director of the Muslim Alliance for Sexual and Gender Diversity, or MASGD. Yaffa is a queer Palestinian poet, author, activist, and death doula whose family history of multiple displacements goes back 3-4 generations.In this episode, Yaffa shares their and their family’s history of displacement and movement. In the next episode, we will hear more about what she and MASGD are doing to support the queer muslim and Palestinian community in this period of danger, violence, and escalating Islamophobia. Yaffa's forthcoming collection of poetry, Blood Orange, is available for pre-order here. Follow the instructions at this post to get the e-book version if you pre-order the book. Book profits support queer and trans Palestinians on the ground and queer and trans Palestinian work elsewhere. Follow Yaffa on Instagram at @yaffasutopiaFollow MASGD on Instagram at @themasgd and sign up for their newsletter here.Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

My guest today is Paul Nabil Matthis, whom you can find on Instagram and TikTok as @paulnmatthis. Paul is an author, musician, social media educator (among other things). Paul’s channel is great- he posts a variety educational videos, ranging from topics in middle eastern/SWANA history to nerdy videos about different percussion styles in the Arab world, to social justice topics, to history of science– and most recently, helpful content about what is happening right now in Palestine, which I particularly want to highlight as a resource. In the videos, does things like breaking down confusing rhetoric, distinguishing between judaism and zionism, and offering historical background and down-to-earth, fact-based analysis of the situation. We'd originally recorded back in August, and then had another conversation in light of what has been happening in October 2023.  I’m releasing both conversations today as a double-length episode, with the Palestine one first.So in this first part we talk about what he has been posting about Palestine and the response he’s gotten, both positive and negative, and he also offers his thoughts as a social media educator on the kind of rhetoric we’re seeing, shadow bans and repression of posts, and his strategies for sharing on various platforms. In the second part, we talk about the queer SWANA history TikTok series, his experiences living in the US and the middle east as a Syrian-American, and how he handles trolls on his social channels. And I couldn't resist asking him to bring out his drum and talk us through some of his favorite middle eastern beats. With love, rage, and solidarity– Free Palestine.Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

I'm happy and also sad because of the circumstances to welcome back Ali for a conversation about what is happening Gaza right now. Ali previously spoke with us in Season 1 episodes 9 and 10, and shares his perspective as a queer, Muslim, Palestinian man.We recorded this episode on October 19, 12 days after the attack by Hamas on Israeli civilians, and 10 days into the displacement, civilian bombardment, and cutoff of electricity, food, water, and supplies to the people in Gaza. Things we mentioned in the episode:La Tetlaa'i song (lyrics below, at end of list)Safar Barkelt song (with lyrics here)The (very handsome) Ali's IG profile: @feeding_seahorses27Books to read about Palestinian resistanceBooks to read about Palestine, continuedFilms to watch about PalestineGaza awareness- accounts to followGaza awareness- places to donate for humanitarian aidDocumentaries to watch on PalestineFor boycottingLa Tetlaa'i -- Ali's translation: "Don't leave your home, and the wind is from the west.Don't leave your home, and the wind is from the west.A country for travel, a country.Your spouse was a stranger, and they set my heart on fire.Your spouse was a stranger, and they set my heart on fire.A country for travel, a country.Don't leave your home, and the wind is from the north.Don't leave your home, and the wind is from the north.A country for travel, a country.Your spouse was strange, and occupied my thoughts.Your spouse was strange, and occupied my thoughts.A country for travel, a country.And yesterday, my friend, it was you and me.How's work, my companion, have you gotten married?A country for travel, a country.Oh, what a pity! Our neighbor's daughter hurt me, oh how!They dressed me in the shroud of death, yet I'm still alive.A country for travel, a country.Oh, traveler, take me with you at dawn I’ll eat any kind of breakfast.A country for travel, a country.I endure hunger, but I can't endure separation.A country for travel, a country.A country for travel, a country.A country for travel, a country.A country for travel, a country."(Wind in Arabic in this context can also mean passion)Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

My guest today is Dr. Eman Abdelhadi, professor at the University of Chicago, author of a forthcoming academic book called Impossible Futures: Why Women Leave American Muslim Communities, as well as the co-author of a speculative fiction novel called Everything for Everyone. Eman is also the subject of a documentary called Coming Around that is now, if you’re listening to this at the end of July 2023, screening virtually at the OutFest film festival in Los Angeles.***Watch the virtual screening here until July30!***The documentary portrays Eman’s relationship with her mother, a devout Palestinian Muslim woman who raised Eman and her siblings as a single mother in a small town in Missouri. The document is a nuanced portrayal of their deeply loving and complicated coming around to each other in spite of their differences. In this conversation we talk about the documentary, Eman’s sociological work on Muslim American communities and what’s happening with the conversation in those spaces around queerness now, and about other places where the themes of family– blood, found, and otherwise– emerge. Follow Eman on Instagram @eabdelhadiFollow Eman on Twitter @eabdelhadiFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

A conversation with Lamya H, author of Hijab Butch Blues, which came out earlier this year. Lamya is South Asian and grew up in a wealthy Arab Gulf state. The book is a series of memoir essays drawn from their life, told alongside beautifully personal, queer readings of stories of the prophets from the Quran. Find Layma on:Instagram @lamyaisangryTwitter @lamyaisangryOr at www.lamyah.comBuy their book!Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

My guest today is Mohammad Mertaban, a proud, publicly out, queer Muslim man. He’s a physician, a father, and a devoutly religious person who always knew he was gay but followed the path laid out by his community’s interpretation of his faith. He was married for 8 years, and only came out in his mid-30s. And, because of his standing in the community, and how he struggled, he made the decision to come out publicly.  You can find him on Instagram @mothegayarab.In this episode, Part II, we talk about how he came out to his family and community,  connecting with other queer folks, and leaning into the sweetness and joy of living authentically.  This episode is coming out at a particularly fraught moment for LGBTQ folks-- where we are being targeted politically. I talk about what has been going on for queer Muslims at the top of the episode. The Queer Muslim Solidarity network, in Instagram as @qmsolidaritynet, is an excellent resource. Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

My guest today is Mohammad Mertaban, a proud,  publicly out, queer Muslim man. He’s a physician, a father, and a devoutly religious person who always knew he was gay but followed the path laid out by his community’s interpretation of his faith. He was married for 8 years, and only came out in his mid-30s. And, because of his standing in the community, and how he struggled, he made the decision to come out publicly.  You can find him on Instagram @mothegayarab.In this episode, Part I, we talk about his early life, what led him to get married, and how he ultimately was able to reconcile his faith and his queerness. This episode is coming out at a particularly fraught moment for LGBTQ folks-- where we are being targeted politically. I talk about what has been going on for queer Muslims at the top of the episode. The Queer Muslim Solidarity network, in Instagram as @qmsolidaritynet, is an excellent resource. Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

Join me for a conversation with Bushra Rehman, author of Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion, out recently from Flatiron Books and already up for a number of literary awards and accolades! I greatly appreciated Bushra's warmth, expansive way of thinking and being, and generosity of spirit, and found so many resonances with the book and in this conversation. Roses, in the Mouth of a Lion: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250834782/rosesinthemouthofalion Bushra's article on writing autobiographical fiction:  https://www.pw.org/content/bushra_rehmans_two_truths_and_a_lie_writing_autobiographical_fiction_part_ii Instagram: @writerbushraFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

Sarah Cypher is the author of The Skin and its Girl, out now from Ballantine Books! The novel follows  the blue-skinned, queer second-generation Palestinian-American protagonist Betty Rummani, as she navigates difficult questions in her own life by turning to her memories of her great-aunt Nuha for guidance.  The fictional Rummani family are in exile from Palestine, where they had owned a soap factory for hundreds of years, over many generations– a soap factory that was destroyed on the day that Betty was born with blue skin, where the story begins.With this book, I re-learned how to slow down and actually enjoy reading– reading for the pleasure of it, for beautiful prose, and to immerse myself in a world and a story and an experience. In this conversation we talk about Sarah’s journey with the novel, its relationship with her identity as a second-generation Arab-American, and about navigating being a queer writer. www.sarahcypher.comInstagram: @sarahcypherTwitter: @threepennyFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

In this episode I welcome the brilliant Dr. Kareem Khubchandani, Professor of Theater, Dance, and Performance Studies at Tufts University also known as their drag persona, LaWhore Vagistan! You can find them on Twitter at:  @lawhorevagistan  and  @kareempuffand on Instagram at: @lawhorevagistan @kareempuff  @auntologiesWatch their TED Talk, "How to be an Auntie" Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

We're out with new episodes on April 17th! The (loose) theme this season is family-- queering family, queer family, and of course, queer found family. Join me for exciting conversations with a range of amazing people. We have merch! Take a look at https://www.queereverything.com/shop ! Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer EverythingFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

Thank you to everyone who made Season 1 such a success! We're on a brief hiatus while we develop Season 2.The theme for Season 2 is FAMILY-- queer family, queering the notion of family, and being queer family to others. Do you have ideas about what you'd like to hear or whom we could talk to? Drop us a note at https://www.queereverything.com/contact or DM us on Instagram or Twitter! Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/QueerEverythingWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer EverythingFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

Join me for the second part of my conversation with Ali and Mohammed, where we talk about telling close family and others and engage in a dialogue about reconciling faith and spirituality. In the introduction I mention Imara Jones' enlightening (and frankly scary) podcast series The Anti-Trans Hate Machine. Please listen to it. It's here: https://translash.org/antitranshatemachine/Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/QueerEverythingWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer EverythingFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

In this episode I speak with two friends whom I know from an affinity group that I'm a part of: Ali who is Palestinian, and Mohammed who is from Ethiopia. We talk about their journeys around realizing they were queer as young people,  coming to terms with their identities in contexts with few positive messages about LGBTQ people, and navigating telling people who were close to them.Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/QueerEverythingWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer EverythingFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

In this episode I'm excited to speak with Elika Dadsetan-Foley (she/they), director of VISIONS, Inc. VISIONS is a non-profit diversity, equity, inclusion and organizational cultural change non-profit that I do work with in addition to having my own consulting practice.The theme of this conversation is not queer identity as much as it is the queerness of identity. Elika and I navigate similar tensions: fitting in everywhere and nowhere, being part of a large diaspora from the Muslim world, and the both/neither experience of being first generation immigrants in the US.  We reflect in this conversation about the meaning we've made out of our experiences, including how it's led us to the work that we both do. Drop us a line and leave us a comment, or let us know what you'd like to hear about in a future episode! queereverythingpodcast@gmail.com Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastTwitter: https://twitter.com/QueerEverythingWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything's channelFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

Today I speak to the formidable Nicole Joy Alexander, director of the Al-Fitrah Foundation and  Pride Shelter Trust (a project of Al-Fitrah). Pride Shelter is one of the few LGBTQ homeless shelters operating in South Africa, and does incredible work supporting both LGBTQ people who stay there and the broader queer community. Nicole talks about taking over the reins of both organizations as a non-Muslim person, about expanding the community that it serves, and about the incredibly effective programs that the organization has instituted to help people break the cycle of homelessness. They currently have a fundraising initiative underway to help them get the space ready for winter. You can watch Nicole talk about the repair project here:https://youtu.be/doLKEV2Paj0You can support Pride Shelter Trust's repair initiative here:  https://www.backabuddy.co.za/champion/project/colormyworld-lgbtqi-sa-shelterFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

Join me for the second part of my conversation with Joe Steele, where he talks about connecting with his birth mother, learning the story of his parents' relationship, and how it impacted his view of self.  You can find Joe's book, Forbidden Love: The True Love Story of a Black Priest and  White Nun who Defied the Church and Society at forbiddenlovememoir.com.  Queer Everything is going on a brief hiatus in April while we record new episodes. Follow us for updates! Find us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/queereverythingTwitter: https://twitter.com/QueerEverythingWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything's channelFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com

Join me as I speak with the inimitable Joe Steele, a friend and colleague and someone whom I love talking to.Joe shares his extraordinary story in he book Forbidden Love: The True Love Story of a Black Priest and  White Nun who Defied the Church and Society written by Lisa Jones Gentry as told by their son Joe.In this episode, we talk about his early experiences growing up and coming to an awareness about being gay in Cincinnati, Ohio, living in New York City as a young man, and ultimately deciding to leave the corporate environment to work in independent consulting. In the next episode, out on March 23rd, we talk about how he connected with his birth mother and learned about his biological parents' relationship. Find us & let us know what you think!Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/queereverythingTwitter: https://twitter.com/QueerEverythingWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything's channelFind us !Instagram: @queereverythingpodcastWebsite: http://www.queereverything.comYouTube: Queer Everything This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit queereverything.substack.com