Claim OwnershipPost-Traumatic Thriving
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© Dr. Randall Bell
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Death, disease, drugs, divorce, depression, disaster. By college age, 66% to 85% of us get hit with a trauma. Join Randall Bell, Ph.D. (socio-economist) as he explores the art and science of trauma recovery and our choice to dive, survive or thrive.
60 Episodes
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In the days following her husband’s suicide, Suzanne felt
like the ground beneath her had disappeared. A friend listened to Suzanne
explain her feelings and helped her process the death of her husband. She
understood that she would need to surrender herself to the journey of healing.
At first, Suzanne slipped into a denial stage. Realizing that would not help
her, she began to reach out for help. Suzanne began to work with developmental
trauma and wrote, “You Make Your Path By Walking.” It took her four years to be
able to revisit her trauma. Suzanne explains the importance of community. At
this stage, she realized she was faced with another decision. Would she try to
get back to where she was? Or be reborn?
Suzanne Anderson, MA, is the founder of The Mysterial Woman, a psychologist and author of “You Make Your Path by Walking.” Born in Toronto, Canada, Suzanne was pressured to do well in school by her father. A consultant in Canada for 15 years she was hired by IBM to train their corporate teams. She moved to France for seven years and this is where she would meet her first husband. The couple moved to Seattle, Washington and they soon divorced. She met her second husband six months later. David struggled to find his quiet space. He was diagnosed with tinnitus and his business was beginning to collapse, unbeknownst to Suzanne. David confided in his friends that he was contemplating suicide, but they were sworn to secrecy. David sadly took his life, which opened Pandora’s box of a shocking discovery for Suzanne. She faced a choice. Would Suzanne be broken down and defeated, or broken open and transformed?
Nadia Davis is a mom, attorney, victims’ rights advocate, and author of “Home Is Within You.” In Episode 58, The Thrive Stage, she shares what helped her to survive her layered traumas and relapses. “It became about beating the shame of the past,” Nadia stated. 12-step work, kundalini yoga and EMDR are just a few techniques that helped her connect to her safe place. “A Home Within You is a place free from attack thoughts,” Nadia shared. She is a vocal advocate of keeping parents and children together during recovery, and she truly believes that asking for help is the most courageous thing anyone can do.
Nadia Davis is an attorney, juvenile justice advocate and
author of “Home Is Within You.” She kicks off Episode 57, The Survive Stage, by
describing waking up from a near-death experience and how this trauma held the
answers to life. After her long recovery, she managed the physical pain with
increased drinking, worked tirelessly for her clients and causes and met her
ex-husband, California’s Attorney General. Their second date resulted in a
pregnancy and a marriage proposal over the phone. “The best gift he gave me was
our son,” Nadia stated. She felt abandoned, alone, and vulnerable. She met a
man that manipulated and defrauded her needs ending in her most devastating
trauma to date.
Nadia Davis is the author of “Home is Within You,” an attorney with a passion for juvenile justice and former wife of California’s State Attorney General. She is a survivor of trauma and abuse and is most well known as the attorney who fought tirelessly to free Arthur Carmona, an innocent victim wrongly accused and jailed for a crime he didn’t commit. In Episode 56, she discusses unaddressed childhood sexual traumas, why it’s important to break the stigma of shame and how her survivalist mind went into overdrive.
Dr. Mark Goulston is the author of “PTSD For Dummies,” a former UCLA professor, and an FBI hostage negotiation trainer. In Episode 55, he discusses steps for preventing teenage suicide and a documentary that he executive produced, “What I Wish My Parents Knew.” He also explains the prompts for talking to teens and the importance of letting your child cry. He wrote “Why Cope When You Can Heal?: How Healthcare Heroes of COVID-19 Can Recover from PTSD” to address healthcare workers' trauma. This episode is packed with tips on the importance of faith, relieving stress, and facing life.
Dr. Mark Goulston, an admitted dyslexic, dropped out of medical
school twice. At one point, the Dean of Students told him, “You’ve been kicked
out.” However, after being told his med school career was over, he was given a
trifecta of hope. Mark was told he had a knack for connecting with patients, he
was encouraged to keep trying, and he knew he could see something in a
patient’s eyes, minds and souls that others missed. Dr. Goulston did become a
practicing clinical psychiatrist, a UCLA professor of psychiatry for over 20
years and the author of 8 books. He is also considered a one of the foremost
thought leaders and coaches in the area of empathic listening with his book,
“Just Listen,” becoming the top book on listening in the world. Dr. Goulston
discusses RTA (Re-traumatization avoidance), Surgical Empathy and what to do
with a hijacked amygdala.
Wes Geer, guitarist for Korn, would have advised his younger self to follow and trust his heart, remember that he is loved, and everything will be OK in time. He explains that trauma does not have to originate from a drastic situation. Trauma can happen to everyone and from any situation. The traumas people do not want to address are the traumas that need healing the most. Wes says that our experiences do not define if we are good or bad, and we should meet people where we in the recovery process. “Your success will be determined by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have.” Wes describes how helping others is a form of self-healing. He encourages others to become a seeker and that God is a unique experience for everyone.
The clouds parted for Wes as he gave up his addiction. He got excited about recovery and contemplated what he would do differently at Alcoholics Anonymous. Although Wes wanted to quit several times, now he put complete faith into the process. He began meditating and had premonitions of getting back into a band. Soon, he received an invitation from Korn to go on tour. Wes jammed with the band for an hour before playing his first concert in front of 12,000 people. It went great, and they toured for years. When Korn rekindled their relationship with their original guitarist, Wes created Rock to Recovery and integrated his program into the curriculum of numerous recovery centers.
Growing up Wes Geer moved schools a lot and always felt that he had to be “extra” to fit in. Self-medicating with marijuana was a way to avoid his real feelings. “I limped out of high school,” Wes recalled. He focused on playing music with his band and had the passion to keep trying. “It’s not about the talent, it’s about the hustle,” Wes believes. He and his band were doing massive amounts of drugs, playing gigs and rehearsing nonstop. Record labels were flying in to see them. “I was a tweaker about to sign a record deal,” Wes remembers. The lie he believed was, “How can I have a problem if I have a record deal?” The drug use escalated to meth and heroine. He couldn’t keep a job and couldn’t sleep, ever. He was mid-30’s and lost. His brother intervened and Wes ended up in a 30-day rehab. He ended up staying for 60 days, “I was into it,” he shared. It was during that 60-day recovery that Wes discovered AA and learned how to ask for help.
Korn guitar hero Wes Geer founded “Rock to Recovery” as a way to harness the healing power of music. He also created a unique type of musical expression for treatment centers. As the youngest of seven children, he experienced his parents’ divorce at five and sexual abuse. Wes admits that his parents’ divorce “screwed me up on several layers.” He bounced between his mom and dad and discovered a love of music, drugs and alcohol. Getting kicked out of several high schools didn’t deter him. “I knew I had it in me. I was not going to relent,” Wes shared. Escalating drug use, coupled with rock ‘n roll became the fuel that kept Wes going, but it would also lead to an overdose and a spiral into rehab. “Your success in life will be determined by your willingness to have uncomfortable conversations.” Wes added, “Music is the ultimate drug.”
After Danny’s biological father suffered two heart attacks, he put aside his indifferences and met him for the first time in 28 years, Danny was 32. He wanted questions answered, and for the next four months he got to know his dad and decided that letting him back in his life was a way to heal his childhood trauma. Danny was happy for the time he had invested in reconnecting with his dad. In 2005, Danny worked his first time at the famous Hollywood Magic Castle. When he learned of Penn & Teller’s “Fool Us” TV show, he quickly sent in an audition tape. When he got the email to appear on the show, Danny practiced for 10 hours a day for 6 months. He went on to fool Penn & Teller and win the infamous “F.U.” trophy. What he did with the “F.U.” trophy on national TV was the best trick of all.
Danny Ray was the first in his family to attend college. The University of Redlands is where he met his then wife-to-be, Kimberly. He and Kimberly began working in youth ministry together. When Danny asked Kimberly’s father for her hand in marriage, he said, “No. Do you realize you’re making below the poverty line?” Undeterred, Danny continued his youth ministry work feeling that God was leading him down that path, and ultimately, he and Kimberly married. Like any young married couple Danny and Kimberly experienced growing pains, and Danny admitted his long struggle with porn. Counseling, his ministry and becoming a dad all changed Danny for the better. His ministry and his world-renowned skills as a master illusionist have taken Danny around the world to share his mind-blowing magic with a life-changing message.
Danny’s childhood memories are clouded with his father’s gambling addiction, affairs, and prison conviction. He witnessed prostitutes in his house, pornography, and his biggest trauma was being abandoned by his father at the age of four. Danny was later told that his father was in prison for statutory rape. His home life left Danny with abandonment issues and depression. Danny turned to magic at 10 years old and give his life to Christ at 17. Magic became Danny’s escape from his childhood trauma and lead to an epic career.
Rhonda began to thrive when she helped form the “March for Our Live” with the Santa Fe High School students. The march was held 30 days after the shooting and became a national movement. Rhonda realized that she had a built-in support system with the town of Santa Fe. She focused on gun violence protection and getting Kimberly’s Bill passed in the Senate. Rhonda began lobbying for gun owners to get background checks, education in gun safety, and practice safe gun storage. She was invited to give a speech to Congress to lobby for Kimberly’s Bill, which would be passed by Congress in 2022. Rhonda believes that her daughter’s life did not end with her death. She continues to advocate against gun violence and owns a gun violence prevention office staffed by survivors like herself.
Feeling crushing grief from the loss of her daughter to a school shooting, Rhonda must face planning her own daughter’s funeral. The shooting became national news overnight. Rhonda’s first interview was with Anderson Cooper. She has no privacy to mourn. The stress of the media starts to create health issues. Rhonda gets support from her father and local churches but decides that a proper goodbye to her daughter would be with a Girl Scout campfire. With the support of Kimberly’s fellow Girl Scouts, Rhonda organized the campfire with songs, smores, and glowsticks. This gave some relief to Rhonda, but she struggled to find long-term trauma support. She began to advocate for herself as a survivor and get involved in state legislation.
Rhonda moved away from Wasilla, Alaska after high school to join the military. She hoped to use her military savings to attend college. Rhonda was on active duty during 9/11 and only three hours from Washington DC. She married 20 and had children shortly after. Her marriage did not last and she moved to Galveston, Texas for joint custody of her children. Rhonda became a bus driver for the Santa Fe, Texas School District. Her daughter Kimberly attended Santa Fe High School. On May 18, 2018, Rhonda was at work during the Santa Fe High School shooting and learned hours later that her own daughter had been killed.
Reza Rezvi finally got a job while attending school in New York City and began working in Times Square. He came up with the idea for a replaceable shoe heel and enrolled in shoemaker classes. He also learned how to patent his idea, but ultimately had to walk away when the startup ran out of money. He then started a successful marketing firm. Reza started mentoring children, as he realized his biggest failure turned into his greatest success. Reza also opened his own gym and created https://www.heymakermedia.com/ a media company focusing on growing businesses. Now, Reza spreads positivity and encouragement.
Back in London and living with his family, Reza felt his spirituality starting to slip away. In an effort to get back to the United States, Reza wants to attend business school and rotate through different campuses across the country. He struggled with his courses and ultimately failed. Reza switched majors, obtained a scholarship, and went for a master’s degree. With a scholarship and financial support from his grandfather, Reza was going to get another chance in the USA. He moved to New York City to start college and where he met his girlfriend. His grades began to slip, but Reza kept pushing on so he did not let his grandparents down.
Reza Rezvi was born in London to a working-class family. He would have a typical childhood until, at the age of ten, his father lost his job. Reza did not feel smart in class and was the black sheep of his family. His father would lose his temper easily and yell at Reza daily. At 17, Reza felt like a degenerate and would stay out late at night to avoid his parents. Struggling to get into college, Reza did not know what he wanted to do with his life. Friends would tell him that he needs to sort himself out. Reza moved to America to peruse his dreams of being on a sitcom. He spent his remaining cash on an American visa. He was ripped off by his landlord and became homeless.
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