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Description
Ever noticed how much we talk about romantic, family, and parent-child relationships, while friendships often get the silent treatment?
Welcome to "Friendship IRL," the Podcast where we dive deep into what's working (and what isn't) in our friendships.
Think of our episodes as a coffee date with your closest pal, filled with real stories that'll make you nod and say, "Yep, been there!" And here's the kicker – we're not stopping at stories.
Get ready for practical advice you can actually use to supercharge your own friendships.
By the end of each episode, you won't just be nodding at the familiar stories – you'll be all set to take action and nurture those meaningful friendships.
Eager to uncover what it truly takes to cultivate connections through life's twists and turns? Come join the Friendship IRL community – let's explore the path to more authentic friendships together.
Take the conversation beyond the podcast! Follow Alex on Instagram (@itsalexalexander) or Tiktok (@itsalexalexander), or send her a voice message directly with all your friendship thoughts, problems, and triumphs by heading to AlexAlex.chat and hitting record. New episodes release weekly on Thursdays.
94 Episodes
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There’s no better way to test your friendship skills than to move to a new city, and today’s guest, Leannda Shearer, has moved to a new city not once or twice but eight different times!So, at this point, you could say she’s an expert at building a support system. With each new move, she’s learned that it takes not just the right skillset but also the right mindset to create meaningful connections.Leannda is also a resilience coach and host of the podcast Rising with Phoenix Grace, and in this...
Sometimes, when our social lives feel lacking, we find ourselves living vicariously through others and wondering: how come they’re all living their lives and I’m not?This is the experience today’s guest, Christine Hetzel, found herself in during a kind of quarter-life crisis. To turn her friendship situation around, she took the initiative and began organizing different kinds of public meet-ups.Today Christine is the host of the Time for Brunch podcast and blog where she coaches clients...
If you’re somebody who dreads going to a party, then this episode is for you.Sometimes the couch feels more appealing than going out into the world and socializing, and I get it. Attending a gathering takes energy. Sometimes it feels awkward. But gatherings can also make us feel inspired and supported and invigorated.Today I offer an approach that will help you take charge of your guest experience with three simple questions. You can ask yourself these questions before you leave, while you’re...
Do you know men who don’t have close friends?It’s a common problem (one that I cover in Episode 31 and Episode 32 of this podcast) with major implications. Poor social and mental health in men is connected with all kinds of other issues ranging from suicide and depression to gun violence.Joining me to talk about this issue is Antonio Neves, a leadership expert, motivational speaker, award-winning journalist, bestselling author of Stop Living on Autopilot, host of the podcast The Antonio Neves...
Today I talk about two friendship terms I’ve been hearing more about lately: the “couch friend” and the “errand friend.”Lots of people want these kinds of friendships because they’re supposed to be easy. You do life’s responsibilities together or you do absolutely nothing together – no planning or panic cleaning required.But how do you find these friends? How do you find someone you’re so comfortable with that you can just sit back and watch TV in your sweatpants together, and it’s not weird?...
Have you ever gone back to an old friend, only to realize it’s not the same as it was?This is the experience of today’s guest, Sarah Marie Paige, who in this episode shares about her amazing high school friend group – a group she assumed she’d be able to re-enter without a hitch post law school.Instead, she learned they couldn’t actually pick up where they left off. Just like with plants, if you don’t water your friendships, they don’t continue to live. So, Sarah created a new community, one ...
There are some friendships we just need to let go of. In some instances, this means letting go of an aspect of a friendship. In others, this actually means letting go of an entire friendship.Today’s guest is Emily Rogers, a transition and leadership coach and the host of the Leap to Lead podcast (which I was recently a guest on; link in the show notes!). Emily has lived overseas for 20 years and has personally navigated many moves and transitions. She says that with each transition comes...
Have you ever met someone truly magnetic? They walk into the room, and suddenly, the energy shifts. People are drawn to them. Some might argue that this is just the way some people were born. They inherited some gene that the rest of us didn’t.But I believe magnetic individuals are just people who are doing the thing, putting themselves out there and taking action consistently – which over time, creates momentum and that coveted main character energy. You are the main character in y...
A few years ago, I realized that one of my friendship patterns was actually kind of a problem.I’d show up for my friends as Superwoman, bragging that I could (and would) drop everything and do anything for my friends – even if it meant betraying myself and my own needs. Then, when I really needed help, I’d never ask for it.I think we all have friendship patterns and tendencies. Some are good. Some are not. What’s important is taking a step back to determine whether they serve our friendships....
What are your friendship beliefs? What stories do you tell yourself about your friendships?Today’s episode might be one of the most important I’ve ever recorded because it gets at the heart of so many people’s struggles: core beliefs about friendship.Here, I’m joined by Sarah Siegert, founder of Friendships Abroad. Inspired by her own experience moving from Hamburg to London, Sarah is a friendship coach who helps people living abroad create meaningful connections and overcome their loneliness...
I just want to make friends who are in the same stage of life as me.In this business, I hear some of the same phrases over and over, and this is one of them. I love that goal, and it’s a big part of what I talk about on the podcast. But recently, I’ve also noticed a trend in which people are seeking friends who are in DIFFERENT life stages.So that’s what I’m talking about today. Why would you want friends in different life stages than you? And more importantly, how do you make and maintain fr...
One thing I always say is creating a community is the ultimate self-care.In today’s episode, we dive deep into this idea with my good friend Jenny Dreizen, who is the co-founder of the Fresh Starts Registry, which I’m a huge supporter of. The Fresh Starts Registry is a registry for all of life’s new beginnings, from divorces to graduations, big moves to scary diagnoses. (Sound familiar? I also talked with Jenny’s sister and co-founder Olivia in Episode 68!)Jenny is the perfect friend for...
If you’re having a bad day, try bragging about a friend. Talk about that thing they did and why they’re so great – it will turn your whole day around.Today I’m bragging about my new friend Anna Goldfarb, author of Modern Friendships, which is about the nuances of adult friendships. Anna is a journalist whose reporting has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post and Vox. Her book is absolutely amazing.You’ll find we have lots of overlap in the ways we think about frie...
How do we balance community and independence?This question is posed by today’s guest, Donna Fields, who, twenty years ago, moved to Spain, and experienced culture shock, going from the United States – an individualistic society – to one that was collectivist and communal. Donna is an author, professor, teacher, trainer, and host of the podcast Doorways to Learning with Donna. Here, she asks: what do we look for when we leave one place and go to another? For her, it was family and communi...
Think about your closest friends. Have you ever felt yourself saying, maybe I just don’t know them anymore? Or, why is it so hard for us to get together? Here’s a question I’m posing for today’s episode: instead of trying to maintain friendships at their “peaks,” what if we allowed these friendships to breathe in their new forms?Today’s guest is Joseph Suttner, who I met a year ago while on New Day Northwest, a morning TV show here in Seattle. In this episode, Joseph and I talk in-depth ...
I’ve been paying more attention to my self talk lately, particularly my negative self talk.It’s so easy to berate ourselves and give ourselves labels about our interactions. I’m a bad friend. I’m awkward. I’m terrible at small talk. I’m not good at showing up. But what if instead of saying, I’m awkward, we say, that interaction was awkward, and look at the situation objectively? It’s easier said than done! The important thing is to notice the negative self talk when it happens and try to shif...
Today’s topic is female friendship, and to be honest, I’m a little overwhelmed by the responsibility.I hear your stories about the intensity, cattiness, and drama of female friendships, but to tell you the truth, it’s been a long time since my friendships involved those extreme experiences. Due to my life’s circumstances, I had to approach friendship differently. Friends are my support system, and I will do all I can – even if it’s uncomfortable – to risk losing a friendship.Which is why I’m ...
Today’s episode is all about holding space – and it’s a poignant reminder of the importance of friendship and how it can profoundly affect our lives, even after a friend has passed away.Michelle Cecil is here to vulnerably share her story about her friendship with Erica.Michelle and Erica’s friendship blossomed in their youth and grew stronger as they navigated the ups and downs of adulthood. Their relationship faced the ultimate test when Erica was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. Th...
How much Vitamin J are you getting in your life?In today’s episode, we’re talking with Dr. Zarya Rubin, a Harvard educated functional medicine physician, and one of the questions she often asks patients is about whether they’re experiencing enough joy and connection.Though there’s a societal push for more exercise and more kale, connection is actually one of the MOST important things you can do for your physiological health. According to a documentary we both love – Live to 100: Secrets of th...
Sometimes to feel closer to our friends there’s this pressure to share our most vulnerable feelings or unearth some deep, dark secret. But what if I told you there are more ways to feel connected to our friends that are actually simpler, easier, and more common? That in fact, there are DOZENS of ways we’re trying to open up to each other, but because they’re not “big” shares, they’re often overlooked?I believe we are all missing out on small moments of connection with our friends, and in...
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