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Between Two Clinicians
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Between Two Clinicians

Author: Talia Bombola, LMFT and Adam Luke, LMFT

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Between Two Clinicians is your backstage pass to the thoughts of two therapists, Talia Bombola, LMFT and Adam Luke, LMFT. Think of it as a raw, unapologetic take on everyday challenges because we're getting real and breaking down barriers.You'll absolutely laugh, you may cry, and you'll probably be triggered.
29 Episodes
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In this conversation, Talia Bombola and Adam Luke discuss the topic of having a crush on a therapist. They explore why this happens, the emotional intimacy in the therapeutic bond, and the role of validation and emotional safety. They also discuss the importance of addressing and navigating these feelings in therapy, without shaming the client. The conversation highlights the need for vulnerability and introspection in relationships, and the role of therapy in providing emotional support and connection
In this episode, Talia and Adam explore the concept of bids for connection versus demands for connection in relationships. Bids for connection are subtle attempts to engage with a partner, while demands for connection are more forceful and coercive. The conversation highlights the importance of turning towards bids for connection and the negative impact of turning away or turning against them. It also discusses the challenges that men face in navigating the dynamics of relationships and the role of entitlement in relationships. The conversation emphasizes the need for open communication, understanding, and compromise in order to foster a healthy and fulfilling relationship.Takeaways - Bids for connection are subtle attempts to engage with a partner, while demands for connection are more forceful and coercive.- Turning towards bids for connection strengthens the emotional bond in a relationship, while turning away or turning against them can damage the relationship.- Men often struggle with navigating the dynamics of relationships and may resort to demanding behavior when their bids for connection are not met.- Open communication, understanding, and compromise are essential for fostering a healthy and fulfilling relationship.- Recognizing and addressing entitlement in a relationship is crucial for creating a balanced and mutually satisfying partnership.
In this conversation, Talia Bombola and Adam Luke discuss the concept of self-sabotage and how it stems from our childhood experiences and manifests in adult romantic relationships. They explore the idea that our early relationships with our parents shape our beliefs about love and dependency. They also discuss the fear of vulnerability and the tendency to reject or sabotage relationships when they start to become what we've always wanted. The conversation touches on themes of settling, the sunk cost fallacy, and the importance of mutual acceptance and respect in relationships. Self-sabotage can manifest as using oneself as collateral damage and seeking control through destructive behavior. It often stems from feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, as well as a desire for instant gratification. Self-sabotage can also be a form of punishment or a defense against becoming too powerful. It may prevent growth and development and stem from neurotic loyalty or a fear of betrayal. Taking ownership and accountability for one's actions is crucial in overcoming self-sabotage.
In this conversation, Adam and Talia discuss the controversial book 'Bad Therapy' by Abigail Shrier and the criticisms it raises about the effectiveness of therapy. They highlight the importance of therapeutic rapport and the potential biases in research studies. They also explore the role of therapist specialization and the impact of parental support on the success of therapy for adolescents. The conversation emphasizes the need for emotional validation, distress tolerance, and effective communication in therapy and parenting. Overall, they challenge the notion that therapy is ineffective and argue for a more nuanced understanding of its benefits.
We explore how projecting fantasies onto potential partners can lead to disappointment, and how neediness and entitlement can manifest in both men and women. The conversation also delves into the impact of these dynamics in committed relationships, the importance of mutual respect and agreement, and the role of boundaries.
In this conversation, Talia Bombola and Adam Luke discuss the curiosity and emotions that arise when reflecting on past relationships and the paths not taken. They explore the grieving process for lost relationships and the tendency to compare oneself to others. They emphasize the importance of recognizing that different life paths may not have led to genuine happiness. The conversation also touches on the impact of social media on keeping tabs on former acquaintances. They share personal stories of encountering former bullies and the process of responding to messages from them. Overall, the conversation highlights the importance of self-reflection and finding pride in personal growth.
Join therapists Adam Luke and Talia Bombola in a thought-provoking discussion on the intricate dynamics of triangulation in relationships. In this episode, they delve into the complexities of how triangulation manifests in various contexts, from family dynamics to workplace relationships and practical strategies for recognizing and navigating triangulation, empowering listeners to foster healthier and more authentic connections.
Adam and Talia help listeners answer the question "Why do I push away what I want the most?"
20. Am I the Problem?

20. Am I the Problem?

2024-06-0433:42

Adam and Talia try to help listeners answer the question that everyone should be asking themselves when you find that things aren't going your way, or the way you planned.
In this follow-up from the discussion about Ultimatums, Adam and Talia discuss what happens when, and why, you and your partner may not have the same timelines. Connect with Talia: taliabombola.com therapywithtalia.com IG: @taliabombola Connect with Adam: wildethoscounseling.com IG: @wildethoscounseling
In this episode Adam and Talia discuss the TV show The Ultimatum and how ultimatums don't actually work the way you think they do. Connect with Talia: taliabombola.com therapywithtalia.com IG: @taliabombola Connect with Adam: wildethoscounseling.com IG: @wildethoscounseling
In this conversation, Talia Bombola and Adam Luke discuss the dynamics of parent-child relationships and the challenges that arise when children become adults. They explore the concept of parents as superheroes in a child's eyes and the realization that parents are fallible human beings. They discuss the role reversal that occurs when children become adults and the struggle to establish boundaries and individuate from their parents. They also touch on the impact of generational patterns and the importance of conscious parenting. The conversation highlights the need for open communication, empathy, and self-reflection in navigating the complexities of parent-child relationships. In this conversation, Adam and Talia discuss the challenges and dynamics that arise in parent-child relationships as children become adults. They explore the need for boundaries, the shift in roles and responsibilities, and the importance of differentiation. They also touch on the complexities of holidays and how they can highlight these issues. The conversation emphasizes the need for open communication, understanding, and the willingness to navigate these transitions in order to build healthier relationships. Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombola Connect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling 00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage 04:01 The Significance of Mother's Day and Father's Day 08:27 The Challenges of Role Reversal in Parent-Child Relationships 11:27 The Impact of Unresolved Childhood Issues on Adult Relationships 23:50 Establishing Healthy Boundaries and Navigating Parent-Child Relationships 27:18 Navigating the Shift: Parent-Child Relationships in Adulthood 36:40 Setting Boundaries and Establishing Differentiation 43:58 The Complexities of Holidays and Family Dynamics 49:48 The Importance of Open Communication and Understanding
Talia and Adam dig into relationships. Sometimes in romantic relationships, one party feels frustration over the modality or method their partner uses for self care. How do we navigate that?Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
Adam and Talia dive into Adam's experience with fatherhood. This episode is guided towards a topic we don't speak about enough: how do men feel as new parents?Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
Talia and Adam discuss the differences between mutual and equal relationships. You may desire a partner who feels like your equal, but are you certain of what an equal is? Not everything has to be the same, but mutual respect and interest can go a long way.Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
13. Spoons

13. Spoons

2023-07-2130:32

Adam and Talia talk about the spoons concept, a metaphor that outlines the energy you have to give to different parts of your life. When you're out of spoons, you may be too emotionally exhausted to do things you want or need to do.Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
Talia and Adam revisit their conversation from their last episode, Ghosts of the Past, and address a big existential question: who would I be if I liked myself? How would I show up if I weren't weighed down by what others think of me (or what I assume they think of me?)Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
11. Ghosts of the Past

11. Ghosts of the Past

2023-06-2334:30

Talia and Adam recap where they've been and answer a question from Instagram. What do you do when your past is affecting your present relationships? How do the relationships you've had in the past affect you as you move through life in real time?Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
After a short break, Talia and Adam are back! This week they answer a listener question. If your therapist says something during session that you don't like, whether an off-handed comment, a poorly-timed joke, or something else, can you let them know? Some people may not know if they're allowed to to give their therapist that kind of feedback.Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
Talia and Adam talk being in a family system where you want to see change and taking the steps to make it happen. We don't choose our family, and sometimes we need to change things to make them sustainable.Connect with Talia:taliabombola.comtherapywithtalia.comIG: @taliabombolaConnect with Adam:wildethoscounseling.comIG: @wildethoscounseling
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