Rukus Juice

Oh boy...Welcome To The Hard R Cafe. We're just gonna kick this one off nice and early. Billed as "the episode we didn't want to publish"...you just have to listen. We've gone after Jesus...we've made fun out of Drake Bell...in this random episode, it goes off the rails. It was supposed to be a "what if" episode, but you see how it goes. We're so so sorry Indy....Anyways, ITS A NEW EPISODE OF RUKUS JUICE!...we feel so dirty

Welcome to Rukus Juice....where we pretty much LIVE in The Hard R Cafe, and trust me, this episode is no different.Oh are the boys back! After Philbilly's series of opening, we open the gate for all the beautiful drunken humor that you've come to love. We talk the invention of glory holes, partially cast a Brokeback Mountain sequel, and make Jesus a wheel kicking badass for justice. And there is alot of gross "protect your holes" type shit too. It's Philbilly and Brocephus at their worst, but isn't that what you love about them?Bars open! Come get some juice.

Welcome back....KEEP THAT BOTTLE OPEN AND GRAB A CLEAN GLASS!It's part two of The Road To Rukusmania...Enjoy!

You ordered your weekly shot of Rukus Juice and boy are we here to deliver. Welcome to another crazy ass episode of the podcast you can't help but love. It's been awhile since ol Philbilly has poured one and touted his favorite moments from the illustrious squared circle, so guess what time it is?Wrestling fans, bring it. Bring all of it, cause our on staff wrasslin historian is in rare form. Philbilly educates on all of the wrestling moments that caused those sweet feels. Still haven't figured out what Brocephus is doing, but Drake Bell gets it in this one too. Not for the faint of heart, but when are we ever?The boys are back and that ain't all bad, so come on into the Hard R Cafe and get some of this JUICE!

Well, it's not Wednesday, but we are still pushing open the doors to the Hard R Cafe. Rukus Juice had a minor setback, but we ain't playing around. Grab a shot, cause we are.What's in a remake? Alot apparently, but not more than a few drinks and a notebook can't handle. It's Rukus Juice...you may never know what to expect, but you know ots gonna be wild. This one may be a TAD tame. Hehe hehe. No, it's not, but it's one of our more focused  episodes. Anyways, you're gonna enjoy the back and forth...on OUR version of what WE think should be remade.

We here at Rukus Juice have generally stopped caring too much about the brushless of our comedy. These are, however you wanna look at it, jokes. That being said, tuck your religion in (AGAIN) for this one. If it isn't jokes about Josh Peck's unwanted Kama Sutra, it's about Jesus, if it ain't Jesus, it's some other group of people that hopefully accept a drink at the Hard R Cafe. If not...more for us. Yep, we go after The Toaster again in this episode, and David Koresh, and Wayne Brady...and some assholes. It's another scatter shot of an episode that ACTUALLY leads us up to another good one, that we discuss. You know what to do. You have known for awhile. You just realize you're gonna have to pray for forgiveness to the same entity we make fun of quite regularly. Lol. Bars open! Enjoy!

Well, we had to get in line, I'm sure, but yep....we did a "Dirty Nickelodeon" episode hot off the heels of Max's documentary, Quiet On Set: The Dark Side Of Kids TV. We always give warnings, but this one is EXTRA special, due to the subject matter of the sexual abuse of children. It's Rukus Juice, so you know what to expect. We sat and watched the docu-series, Quiet On Set, and how the hell did you NOT see this episode coming? Of all the things you wanna fuck with, kids should be the very last, so it's time to give the business to the entertainment industry for not protecting our childhood. We break it down to bare bones on the who's, what's, when's, where's, why's, how's, and all that shit. Somewhere in all the fray, we find the funny. As CRAZY as the notion is, we find it up in there somewhere. Be prepared to have your childhood abused like ol Drake Bell, cause this ain't pretty.Welcome to Rukus Juice!

If you can smell the bourbon soaked wood and here the fsint sound of swearing and some guitars, odds have it, you've arrived at the Hard R Cafe, where the guys are serving uo the newest episode of Rukus Juice. That's right, your heard right, Rukus Juice is back!Yeah, this is where we'd normally slide in an advisory, but c'mon. It's so much more fun if there is no warning. Find out what happens when the boys get back at it and the words start flowing. What would happen is Philbilly and Brocephus were famous and got into Studio 54? What if Philbilly opened his OWN club, Studio 52?Hear about the new allegations against D Bag Vince McMahon? Well, Philbilly has, and OH is it up for discussion. It's another sitdown with your favorite barfolk, so slide up a stool, and order up a shot of Rukus Juice!

Dear Lord Baby Jesus in the crib with a fat diaper, its another sweet ass episode of Rukus Juice!The guys have been struggling to sit and talk lately, but when it happens these days, fuck it, you may as well just turn it into an episode!Brocephus is a tad tipsy and spilling all over the place, while he and Phillbilly do some reminiscing over them younger days. Toss is a celebration of TV theme song dances, Philbilly's newfound Redneck Tony Stark look, as well as Brocephus being EXTRA stereotypical blabbering about weed and basketball. (As a ballplayer ya racist d.bags! Lol)There was some drinking at the Hard R Cafe, so this one gets a lil racy. Do you even NEED to be invited anymore? Come on in....

We here at Rukus Juice take no pleasure in the disgusting, unless it's happening to one of us....that being said, this ain't an episode about a bad day at McDonald's. Unless you live under a VERY big rock, you've prolly heard a thing of two about WWE, Vince, and all that comes with it. Well, for ya rock dwellers, THE BAR IS FUCKIN OPEN! HARD R CAFE, ENGAGE!The boys are back and walking the line with this one. What else do we need to say? It's a two hour episode about the scumbag shit that has come to the surface recently about Vince McMahon....only the way THEY can do it. Just listen...you'll feel a LITTLE bad for laughing, but I'm sure Philbilly and Brocephus will be in hell right along with you.This one runs a little hot.

Bars open and this one runs a bit hot, but what else can you expect at the Hard R Cafe? Welcome back to another disturbing episode of Rukus Juice!The boys are back and it's pretty much a good grasp of what happens when the guys play catch up. After Philbilly decides to pull a bracket show off the fire, the guys cook up what they are best at. Ya know, I could pull off putting up an entire list of topics covered in the episode, but I kinda think you just have to sit in on this one. Not for the feint of humor!

Well, what more could you want? The building is back up and running, and it's time to crank out some content!We apologize for the brief hiatus, but we are back! So there was this whole Christmas episode that we did and it just COULDN'T be wasted. Since booze never goes bad, you're in for an aged treat. A little sauce, a convo, and a bracket...all about good old St Nick.All the ho ho hoing youve been hoping for in a Christmas episode is right here. For some reason, we have a head to head with movie Santas. If you ever wanted to know what happens if Billy Bob from Bad Santa, gets into a scuffle with Leslie Nielsen, then you're in the right place. If you wanna know the body count of Kurt Russel up against the little person army from Jingle All The Way, then you're in the right place. If you've just missed Rukus Juice, youre in the right place. If you miss hearing Philbilly's sweet voice and Brocephus'....yeah, then you're STILL in the right place. It's our much delayed, but still oh so fresh, Christmas episode. Gametime bitches.

If you're reading this, it means power and internet were restored to the studio, so....WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF RUKUS JUICE! Whoa, did we not see THIS shit coming. Puff being a sex ass, weirdos, rapey gangster freak, OR a tornado ripping up ol Brocephus' town. It's been a CRAZY few days but now that MOST of the universal balance has been restored, we can press forward talking all sorts of shit. Philbilly moved the broken branches, cleared the debris from the walk way, and opened the doors to the Hard R Cafe. A few smashed dishes and a few knocked over tables and that's us....that's got nadda to do with tornadoes. We're just that special. We'll, rambling is what we do best, so you can read this, OR.....(c'mon man, really?)

After some much deserved time off mixed with a lil turmoil, the boys are back. Philbilly has opened up the Hard R Cafe and the Rukus Juice is flowing freely. We catch up with the guys literally catching up with each other. Some of these episodes have NO direction and that seems to be quite alright with Ol Philbilly. Big Brother Brocephus is along for the ride, as always, adding his ever so interesting three cents. It's been awhile, but they guys are at their best when they have a had a lil "me" time. Maybe a little time with ol Nepo Baby Jesus? Like always, these episodes aren't for the weak of tum tum, or feint of heart. The n word gets used. By n word, yes...well, you know what we mean. This one is a doozy with a special surprised wrapped inside. It's Rukus Juice....do we even need to keep telling you what kinda shit is in these episodes anymore?

Ya know here at Rukus Juice, we've kinda made random an art form. It's another episode and all that, sure, but maybe we should explain this one. This episode, our dear bar patrons, is not about a mother fucking thing. Philbilly kinda just lays the ground work for our resident motor mouth to, well, motor his mouth. Ya see, sometimes we wanna be prepared for the glorious clumps of awesome that we bring you, and when that doesn't happen, it's nut up or shut up time. You take a double shot of the bad stuff, stop being a snowflake, and fuckin deliver the most random trail of polished craziness one guy can edit. It's Rukus Juice. He's Philbilly. The other one is Brocephus. Three Finger Mafia rules and Long Live The RWO.

Bar is fuckin OPEN! A few days late, but no less on the love OR quality, it's another really dirty jar of Rukus Juice. Well, what Sir Philbilly wants, Sir Philbilly gets! Less focus and more random in this one. Wesley was such a run, that we needed to be able to drunkenly jibber jabber about some good old fashioned random shit. As you can tell from the title....well, yeah. Take it how you want, but this episode starts out talking the wonder of the MCU and ends somewhere around a beautifully laid plan of Nick Bollea getting straight DICKED DOWN. How the fuck do we get THERE?! You know what you gotta do....bar's open. Come get this JUICE!

If there is anyone else that was clamoring to hit a Wesley Snipes episode before us, good luck. Incense burns, food is chewed, and drinks flow as the boys sit to talk...well, Wesley. There is a really special way we do things here at Rukus Juice....well, no, not really. You just get the smooth ass crassness of Philbilly and Brocephus, on pretty much any topic that their random ass thoughts land them on. So first it was to do a bracket with his characters, just to have Blade whoop everyone's ass...then it became a discussion about how cool Simon Phoenix was...then it was about Philbilly's interracial love for all things White Men Can't Jump....then we kinda figured, why the fuck not just do a Snipes episode? So, that's what ya get. We give the man his flowers, and the right to wheel kick any fuckin body. Yes, we do this for almost two hours. Why the hell would you wanna miss this? Lol.

We took some time off, then came back with boy bands, and next week it's all about Wesley Snipes, but this week, it's the filler that gets you to next week. Wish we could label it as something way cooler, but at least it's still funny. Trust us. It's the same wonderful show, no direction whatsoever, but you KNOW how much fun THOSE episodes are. Pop culture gets a run...Wade...Justin, yeah. We do that. Will...Jada...we do that. Wanna know about some Jabbo and The Teeb shit? We do that. Listen, it's day drinking with one of your favorite duos, so just sit on down, dust off the bar, and get ready to get one of those western style "slid down the bar and smacks your palm" glasses of motherfuckin Rukus Juice. (It means listen. Just listen to the damned episode please. Lol)

Well, breaks over, and the bar's open. Hard R Cafe...ALL of it. Welcome back (whew), to another episode of Rukus Juice! Everyone is back, refreshed, and talking about BOY BANDS? What the fuck...anyeways, it's a topic as good as any, especially in OUR hands. It'll get a little nostalgic, it'll get a little bloody, and there is swearing. Alot. Like...you know what, you know the drill. You know what we do. It's the guys that made Jesus a high school pot dealer for..well, his sakes. Well, now we're discussing boy bands. In the way that only we can. Which means someone is gonna say some foul stuff...and one of them is the host of this show. Bars open ladies, and it feels so good. Let's go...it's Rukus Juice time.

Swig! Enjoy!