The Beauty in the Mess

The Past Is Over So Why Does It Still Hurt?Why do old experiences still affect our confidence, relationships, and ability to speak up, even when we think we’ve moved on?In this episode of The Beauty In The Mess, I sit down with Nicky Yazbeck, a licensed, trauma-informed EMDR therapist and podcast host, to explore the connections between past experiences, people-pleasing, and the belief that we’re somehow “not enough.”Nicky explains EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, and walks us through what a session can look like. We discuss emotional triggers, the importance of feeling safe with your therapist, and how healing can change the way you show up for yourself and others.If you’ve ever wondered why the same patterns keep repeating, this conversation offers a starting point for understanding them.In this episode:How childhood experiences can shape beliefs about ourselvesPeople-pleasing, self-abandonment, and seeking approvalWhat EMDR involves beyond eye movementsWhy trust, preparation, and pacing matter in therapyFinding a qualified therapist you feel comfortable withWhat progress can look like in everyday relationships02:05 Meet Nicky and hear her path to becoming an EMDR therapist04:05 What EMDR stands for and how Nicky describes trauma07:05 People-pleasing, perfectionism, and relationship patterns10:05 Self-worth and the belief that “I’m not enough”14:05 What an EMDR session can look like17:05 Emotional triggers and physical reactions18:05 Eye movements, tapping, and the EMDR process23:05 Trauma, memory gaps, and preparing for therapy27:05 How long EMDR therapy can take32:05 Choosing a qualified therapist and finding the right fit35:05 Noticing changes in your reactions and relationships37:05 Nicky’s personal experience with EMDR39:05 Safety, trust, and working with a licensed therapist41:05 What healing and feeling more connected can look like44:05 Nicky’s podcast and how to connect with her46:05 When additional preparation or specialized care may be needed✨ Connect with Nicky Yazbeck• Website: www.nickyYyoga.com•Podcast: The Connected Community: Exploring Possibility (https://www.youtube.com/@TheConnectedCommunity/videos)• YouTube: Watch Nicky’s podcast✨ Connect with Michele Simms• Website: The Beauty In The Mess• Instagram: @the.beauty.in.the.mess• LinkedIn: Michele Simms• Facebook Group: The Beauty in the Mess Podcast💬 Rate & ReviewIf this episode spoke to you, please like and subscribe and consider giving a 5-star review.#TheBeautyInTheMess #NickyYazbeck #EMDR #TraumaHealing #MentalHealth #SelfWorth #PeoplePleasing #PersonalGrowth #HealingJourney Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Marriage Becomes a To-Do List: Finding Your Way Back to Each OtherWhat happens when you're great at managing everything in your life, but that same drive for control starts showing up in your marriage?In this episode of The Beauty In The Mess, I sit down with Katie Doles, Marriage Strategist and founder of Rooted Wife Coaching.We talk about something many driven women may recognize: taking charge, doing everything ourselves, and then becoming frustrated when our husbands step back.Katie and I explore control, resentment, communication, intimacy, date nights, overscheduled lives, community, and creating a home that feels like a sanctuary rather than another source of stress.Faith is also central to our conversation as Katie shares how her relationship with Jesus shapes her views on marriage, grace, forgiveness, boundaries, and loving someone imperfectly.2:30 – Meet Katie and her path to marriage coaching5:30 – What she looked for in a husband—and herself6:30 – Faith, marriage, and covenant8:30 – Problem-solving and relationship patterns10:30 – Turning off “work mode” at home12:30 – When taking charge becomes managing your husband13:30 – She steps up, he steps back—and resentment grows16:30 – Why changing the dynamic takes more than a conversation17:30 – Letting go of control so your spouse can step up19:30 – Letting your husband do things his way21:30 – Can a marriage recover from resentment?22:30 – Marriage coaching vs. therapy24:30 – The “roommate/business partner” phase25:30 – “If everything's a priority, nothing's a priority”27:30 – Overscheduled kids and families30:30 – Why your spouse can't meet every social need32:30 – “Fika,” friendship, and meaningful connection34:30 – Making the first move in friendship37:30 – Why date nights matter39:30 – Emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy41:30 – Withholding what your spouse needs43:30 – Creating a home sanctuary45:30 – The impossible standards we set for ourselves47:30 – Faith, forgiveness, kindness, and grace49:30 – Boundaries and unconditional love52:30 – What does a beautiful marriage look like?53:30 – “Daily sleepovers with your best friend”55:30 – Disagreeing without disrespect56:30 – Rooted Wife Coaching and Cultivating a Beautiful Marriage58:30 – Why proactive work matters✨ Connect with Katie Doles• Rooted Wife Coaching• Facebook• Instagram• YouTube✨ Connect with Michele Simms• Website: The Beauty In The Mess• Instagram: @the.beauty.in.the.mess• LinkedIn: Michele Simms• Facebook Group: The Beauty in the Mess Podcast💬 Rate & ReviewIf this episode spoke to you, please consider leaving a 5-star review and sharing it with someone who could use a little encouragement in their marriage.#KatieDoles #RootedWifeCoaching #TheBeautyInTheMess #Marriage #ChristianMarriage #Relationships #MarriageAdvice #FaithAndMarriage Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Everything Falls Apart: Building a Life You Never PlannedWhat happens when the life you worked so hard to build suddenly falls apart?My guest on this episode of The Beauty In The Mess is Melissa Moritz, better known as Messie Missy. Melissa spent more than 20 years in executive leadership and ultimately became CEO of a $75 million healthcare company. Then, within a relatively short period of time, she lost her career, businesses, financial security, home, marriage, and much of the identity she had built around that life. In this incredibly honest conversation, Missy shares what it really looked like to hit a point where simply getting out of bed, eating, showering, and putting on clean clothes could feel like accomplishments.We talk about divorce, depression, motherhood, financial devastation, faith, identity loss, asking for help, entrepreneurship, and what happens when a highly successful woman suddenly has to redefine what success even means.But this isn't a perfectly packaged comeback story.Missy is still rebuilding.Today, she's using what she's learned to help other midlife women rebuild their confidence, income, and independence. Through her Mess to Momentum framework, she helps women recognize the value in their own experience and expertise and use it to begin building something of their own. This conversation is about losing the life you thought you'd have, surviving the part nobody sees, and eventually allowing yourself to believe that maybe you can build something beautiful again.2:30 – Meet Missy and how dramatically her life changed 5:30 – Going from successful CEO and entrepreneur to suddenly starting over 8:30 – Divorce, financial devastation, and losing the life she thought she'd built 11:30 – What happens to your identity when the titles and success disappear 14:30 – Depression and the reality of simply trying to function day to day 17:30 – Learning to ask for and accept help when you're used to being the strong one 20:30 – Raising teenagers while trying to hold herself together 23:30 – Faith and what kept Missy moving forward during her darkest period 26:30 – The shame and vulnerability of struggling after being highly successful 29:30 – Losing relationships and discovering who remained when everything changed 32:30 – Why Missy decided to share her rebuilding journey publicly 35:30 – Separating your identity from your career, marriage, and accomplishments 38:30 – Rebuilding confidence when you no longer recognize yourself 41:30 – Money, independence, and what Missy wishes more women understood before divorce 44:30 – Redefining success in this season of her life 47:30 – Turning decades of experience into something valuable after losing the job title 50:30 – Building the Messie Missy brand and her Mess to Momentum framework 53:30 – Helping midlife women rebuild income, identity, and independence 56:30 – Why rebuilding doesn't mean recreating the life you had before 59:30 – Allowing yourself to dream and set goals again 1:02:30 – What Missy wants women in the middle of their own mess to know 1:05:30 – Moving forward without allowing the hardest chapter to become your entire storyOne of my favorite things Missy said:“This is always gonna be part of my story, but I don't wanna keep retelling that story anymore. I really want to tell a beautiful story. I wanna tell something new.”✨ Connect with Missy MoritzWebsite: https://www.messiemissy.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.comThe Messie Missy Podcast – Find it through her website and your favorite podcast platform.Email: [email protected]✨ Connect with Michele Simms• Website: thebeautyinthemess.com • Instagram: @the.beauty.in.the.mess • LinkedIn: Michele Simms • Facebook Group: The Beauty in the Mess Podcast💬 Rate & ReviewIf Missy's story encouraged you, please consider leaving a 5-star review and sharing this episode with someone who needs the reminder that heartbreak doesn't have to be the end of their story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Love Is Not Luck: What 54 Years of Marriage Taught Belle Gayer What does it really take to make love last? In this episode of The Beauty In The Mess, I sit down with Belle Gayer, author of Are Relationships For Suckers?, to talk about what she has learned through more than five decades of marriage, and seven years of answering relationship questions online for millions of readers. Belle believes one of the biggest mistakes we make is expecting lasting love to feel like the beginning of a relationship forever. The excitement of new romance changes, but that doesn't necessarily mean love is gone. In fact, it can be the beginning of something much deeper. We talk about communication, unrealistic expectations, emotional and physical intimacy, technology and disconnection, sex as we age, resentment, compromise, red flags, the temptation to believe the grass is greener, and why sometimes being happy is more important than being right. Belle also shares why she believes soulmates aren't simply found. They're built, and why the little things we do every day can matter more than grand romantic gestures. Whether you're married, dating, single, struggling in a relationship, or simply curious about what makes love last, this conversation may challenge some of what you've been taught about romance. 02:35 – Meet Belle and the story behind Are Relationships For Suckers? 04:35 – Seven years answering relationship questions and reaching millions 06:35 – Why relationships and human connection are struggling today 08:35 – Phones, social media, and what technology is doing to intimacy 12:35 – Are people too quick to give up on relationships? 14:35 – Unrealistic expectations about “true love” 16:35 – Belle’s four pillars of a lasting relationship 18:35 – What happens when the honeymoon stage ends 22:35 – Boredom, stability, and staying curious about one another  24:35 – Why couples need deeper emotional connection   27:35 – The grass isn’t always greener—and the baggage follows you    29:35 – When is it actually time to leave a relationship?    31:35 – Red flags we overlook when we’re falling in love    32:35 – “Life intimacy” and sharing everyday life together    34:35 – Attraction, aging, and seeing the person you originally fell in   love with   36:35 – Physical affection that doesn’t always have to lead to sex    37:35 – Belle’s belief that soulmates are built, not magically found    40:35 – Ego, blame, defensiveness, and resentment   42:35 – Why emotional intimacy matters to physical intimacy    44:35 – Understanding how your partner experiences love    46:35 – Listening instead of jumping to conclusions✨ Connect with Belle Gayer·        Are Relationships For Suckers? — Official Website https://www.arerelationshipsforsuckers.com/?utm_source=chatgpt.com·        Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/belle.gayer?utm_source=chatgpt.com·        LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/belle-gayer-40babb20a?utm_source=chatgpt.com·        Quora: Braver Than I Knew Journal·        Belle's book, Are Relationships For Suckers?, is available on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and hardcover formats.·        Belle's book has also received Gold in Self Help–Motivational and Bronze in Self Help–Happiness at the Global Book Awards, along with multiple five-star Readers' Favorite reviews. ✨ Connect with Michele Simms• Website: thebeautyinthemess.com• Instagram: @the.beauty.in.the.mess• LinkedIn: Michele Simms• Facebook Group: The Beauty in the Mess Podcast💬 Rate & ReviewIf Belle's story encouraged you, please consider leaving a 5-star review and sharing this episode with someone who needs the reminder that heartbreak doesn't have to be the end of their story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Braver Than She Knew: Starting Over at 58 What happens when the life you thought you’d have suddenly isn’t your life anymore? In this episode of The Beauty In The Mess, I sit down with author, speaker, and educator Cathy McCoy Collier, who found herself starting over at 58 after more than 30 years of marriage. After years of betrayal and trying to save her marriage, Cathy finally reached her limit. Walking away meant facing fears she had avoided for decades: living alone, managing money, making decisions by herself, grieving the family life she thought she would have, and discovering who she was outside of being a wife.  Cathy shares honestly about infidelity, gray divorce, self-worth, fear, faith, loneliness, friendships, dating again, and the surprisingly small moments that helped her realize she could build a life of her own. We also talk about her faith-based journal, Braver Than I Knew, which grew out of her own healing journey and is designed to help women navigate divorce, loss, major life changes, and unexpected new beginnings.  Cathy’s story is a reminder that sometimes bravery doesn’t feel brave at all. Sometimes it’s simply taking one step when you have no idea what comes next. 2:20 – The moment Cathy knew she had finally reached her limit5:20 – Filing for divorce after more than 30 years of marriage6:20 – The fear of starting over financially at 589:20 – How divorce ultimately brought Cathy back to her faith11:20 – Finding the counselor who helped her begin healing14:20 – Protecting her adult sons while telling the truth about the divorce16:20 – Learning to make decisions alone after 32 years as part of a couple19:20 – The moments Cathy believes prepared her to finally leave20:20 – The humiliation of infidelity and realizing “His sin is not my shortcoming” 21:20 – Grieving the family and future she thought she would have27:20 – Losing relationships and discovering who was really in her corner29:20 – Rebuilding her self-worth and creating new boundaries31:20 – Why Cathy named her book Braver Than I Knew32:20 – Why the first brave step is the hardest 33:20 – Freedom, loneliness, and adjusting to life on her own35:20 – Learning that she no longer needs someone else to feel complete 37:20 – How faith became central to Cathy’s healing42:20 – Trusting herself, trusting God, and finally being able to exhale46:20 – Dating after 50 and the lighter side of starting over50:20 – Inside Cathy’s 52-week journal, Braver Than I Knew54:20 – Cathy’s advice when you don’t feel brave enough to take the first step56:20 – Gray divorce and knowing when you’ve finally had enough59:20 – Why Cathy has never regretted leaving ✨ Connect with Cathy McCoy Collier·        https://www.braverthaniknew.com·        Instagram: @braverthaniknew·        Facebook: Braver Than I Knew Journal·        Email: [email protected]✨ Connect with Michele Simms• Website: thebeautyinthemess.com• Instagram: @the.beauty.in.the.mess• LinkedIn: Michele Simms• Facebook Group: The Beauty in the Mess Podcast💬 Rate & ReviewIf Cathy's story encouraged you, please consider leaving a 5-star review and sharing this episode with someone who needs the reminder that heartbreak doesn't have to be the end of their story. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.