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authentic af

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this podcast is a reflection of me.

and i am.. impossible to summarize. i can’t be squished into an elevator pitch — i have too much depth, vision, intricacies, nuances. my moments are spent exploring the unknowables of this world, and our experience of them. i want to dig deep — as deep as i can — into life’s big questions, and small moments, and to sit together in anything that may be uncovered.

i want authentic af to be safe space for all to disrobe our souls, and trust there are those out there willing to hold us. even more than i want to be held, i want to hold.

i am messy and scattered and dreamy; i digress and wander and sometimes cut myself off. i'm also curious, and trusting and understanding; i love magic, and mystery and things we can't explain. i'm not here to teach, or preach, i'm here to share, and wonder, and express.

if my words haven't lost you, then i invite you to get to know me -- and maybe yourself -- a bit better by joining me on this adventure.

"alone, it’s just a journey. now adventures, they must be shared. " -- the Stranger (rings of power)

taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
32 Episodes
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carmen joins me in this episode as i talk through key moments in my life where i've considered myself 'the villain'. transforming that disdain into understanding and compassion has had a profound effect on my growth, relationship with self, and perspective on others and the world around me. i hope by sharing some of my own shadow history, and how i find the light within, you give yourself permission to find your own light in your own shadows. you are worthy of love, in all your moments. that's the message, in a sentence.shame vs. guilt podcast- creative pep talk (pending specific episode)find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
*TAY FAV* in this episode, robyn and i dive deep into what it's like to exist as an introspective human. how our experiences and inner thoughts influence how we go through the world, what we believe, and how we behave. i love talking with others who love to look inward, feel deeply, accept imperfections, and work consistently at growing and bettering ourselves, and this conversation checks all the boxes. robyn is vulnerable and real, and in being so, we were able to connect on so many levels. if you're creative, sensitive, and introspective, i think you'll find this episode relatable and inspiring.SPOILERS: under the bridge- PLEASE consider sharing or donating to robyn's movie, ultraviolet catastrophe, if it feels right for you:https://igg.me/at/ultravioletcatastrophe- find robyn on instagram: @robynlynncouchkey topics:robyn’s big 2 - who and howspiritual mediums as tools of self discoveryempathy vs sympathy, emotional vs sensitiveour journeys in pursuing artmental judgments and how we talk to ourselvesowning who we are without qualifiersa deeper look at our judgments and envyrobyn’s film! ultraviolet catastrophetaking control of our own lives / releasing victim mindsetthe voices / words in our headmanipulation, and holding multiple truths at oncethe journey is eternal - we are healingAA and safe spacesreframing how we view others’ artmentions:artist’s way - julia cameronkati mortonunder the bridgefind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
28 | interlude: update

28 | interlude: update

2024-06-2441:01

TW: depressioni know it's been a while since i released an episode. i've had a lot of life going on and with that, questions, discoveries, and challenges. join me in this episode as i share a bit about what that's looked like for me, how it's affecting me, and where i hope to go from here. thank you for listening to this episode<3find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
in this episode i talk about circumstances that impacted me in my formative years, and the effects that compounded and continued to play out from there. i reflect on some strengths and obstacles i view as part of my journey, and discuss how my attachment style is ever present in my life, and personality. speaking honestly about some of my talents and different ways to use them feels vulnerable, and also so freeing to share. thanks for listening to this episode <3find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
this kicks off the goods, the juice, the intricacies of the soul within the human body of taylor rey kilpatrick. when we are young, before the environment in which we grow up grasps us in its hands and pushes us to be conditioned to its will, we are pure. we are us, in our most authentic state. and i want to reconnect to that state of existence, to the truer version of myself that existed there. here i dive into what that was like for me - the moments and memories that fill me with euphoria and joy and life. before i told myself who i was supposed to be, i was just me. born into this world to be me, to shine and breathe and share my me-ness with all. i'm so grateful to be able to share this with you, and in doing so, remind myself of who i truly am. to appreciate my gifts here, my uniqueness. for me, i love to talk, to imagine, to dream. i'm an optimistic, a believer, maybe a psychopath. i'm sensitive, forgiving, creative, and driven by an open heart. i hope this episode gives you better insight into who you're listening to (:mentions:- odyssey of the mind- six levels of higher consciousnessfind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
a bit of a preview of what i'll be sharing, why, and some things to keep in mind while listening to the episodes that follow, my story, conversations you have with others, and thinking back on your own life. i want to know better who i am, and the best way for me to do that is to be honest about who i've been. i ask you to keep an open mind, to hold space for multiple and conflicting views at once, and to remember that my story is MY story, and that doesn't make it right or wrong. a huge thank you to anyone showing up for this, and for anyone showing up for yourself in your own life (: love will change the world.mentions:fairy tale by stephen kingfind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
to kick off s3 of the pod, i'm sharing with you my origin story -- an exploration of me, my journey of life, lessons i've learned, and what's stuck with me most from my experiences.being seen, understood, and loved is a core need in my soul. i can't be those things if i don't share myself. this is my invitation to you into my story. welcome (:find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i sit down with lisa reams for an honest, natural, self-empowering conversation. she -- like i do -- loves diving deep on why we are the way we are - what drives our behaviors? what about us is needing to be looked at, what is the core emotion we're working around? to look even further at these big questions, lisa has found support and magic with the enneagram. in this episode she gives the scoop on what the enneagram is, and how we can use it to better understand ourselves and learn to thrive in our lives.intro (0:00)get to know lisa and ice breakers (2:29)learning about ourselves (10:30)current influences and pleasures (20:19)lisa's journey and intro to enneagram (34:37)overview of enneatypes (47:36)enneagram wings (52:51)processing, and directions of growth and stress (58:06)continuum three levels of (1:04:12)the three subtypes (1:08:14)enneagram in real life (1:14:25)lisa’s recommendations (1:36:56)closing thoughts (1:43:08)mentions:- superfight- comedy bang bang (spotify)- goose goose duck- enneagram institute- the wisdom of the enneagram by  Don Richard Riso, Russ Hudson- the road back to you by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabilefind lisa:- ninearrowd- instagram @ninearrowdfind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
episode 23 (solo)this is it, the episode i've been waiting for. it came to me, i didn't grasp for it. i felt like i wanted to hop on and share what's on my mind and in my soul with the world, so i did. i talk like i talk to my best friends, my confidants.  i share all about my day, where my heart's been, what excites me. i geek out over my current obsessions and ways i'm showing up for myself. i share opinions i've previously been afraid to even hold. it's honest, it's genuine, it's chaotic.  if you're curious what it would be like to receive a marco polo from me, this is it. the thoughts in my mind are now in your ear. enjoy (:intro (0:00)how i came to the mic today (7:30)my moon in leo (10:00)my writing practice (16:50)oracle, spirit guides, tapping in (18:40)the mind vs listening to intuition (21:00)the power of dancing (24:00) bachelorette trip *magic* (28:16)more on dance (33:00)i love to share (35:16)december seedlings (36:40)enneagram (37:00)oracle cards (39:23)the way that we think (40:49)the witch trials of jkr (45:25)levels of consciousness (50:35)january seedlings (52:27)moon phases (58:44)ecstatic dance (104:55)ending thoughts (108:52)- mentions:- [the stars made me do it] Leo Moon 1 spotify | apple- [aaf] 2024: a year of ~liberation~ spotify | apple- [dayluna] projector magic spotify | apple- witch trials of jk rowling spotify | apple- enneagram podcast spotify | apple- demystify magic spotify | apple- the wild way oracle deck- beth kempton - website | the way of the fearless writer- journey of souls by michael newtonfind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today's solo episode feels a bit like a journal entry. i open up, and share my thoughts on the podcast, struggles with trusting myself, setting goals, and the year ahead. i reveal my own 2024 ins and outs, touch on my intentions, and claim my word of the year! and, i share some magical guidance about the year from numerology, and western and chinese astrology.  i hope you're looking forward to this year with the same sparkle in your eye and gratitude in your heart that i am. 2024 is going to be magical. there's a lot of introspection in this one -- my fav (: get ready to dive in- intro (00:00)- thoughts on the pod & trusting myself (04:14)- cycles, and thoughts lately (12:28)- ins (14:28)- outs (17:52)- sunspirations / intentions (19:26)-  fears around being my true self (20:51)- my word for 2024 (25:37)- hype over affirming energies (27:11)- numerology (28:09)- astrology, pluto in aquarius (34:44)- chinese year of the dragon (43:22)- take what resonates (46:22)- thoughts moving forward (47:19)- magical vibes (50:10)- outro (51:06)mentions:-podcast episodes:[dayluna] What to Expect in 2024 Based on Your Personal & The Collective Numerology spotify | apple[aaf] 21 | reflections on 2023: a year of observation spotify | apple[aaf] e7 - laurel kassor (astrology: our life as an hbo series) spotify | apple-instagram accounts:spiritdaughtermoonomensamylea.co amy leaangels_and_amethyst taylor paige- astrology newslettersmagic of ispirit daughterchani nicholasfind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
episode 21today is a solo episode, where i share my reflections and introspection about 2023 — on and off the pod. i open up with my honest thoughts on where i am and how i showed up for myself. i sit in gratitude and also face hard truths. not surprisingly, authenticity is a recurring theme in much of my ruminations. i evaluate what that looks like in real life and where i’m blocking my own path.00:00 | quote + intro05:51 | tarot (high level)08:38 | insights from my tarot pull22:55 | journaling + gratitude for 202330:57 | things i noticed (in the pod)44:37 | things i noticed (outside the pod)58:29 | word for 20231:00:46 | numerology of 2023 & 20241:02:13 | energies & emotions i left behind in 20231:03:54 | collective releasing deep breath1:05:00 | my most impactful journaling questionsthe journaling questions i answered that felt the most impactful:what emotion did you spend the most time feeling and how did it impact you?how would you describe the way you did / did not show up for yourself?what are you proud of healing through or overcoming and how has it helped you grow?what areas of life have you wanted to expand in but have felt yourself resisting? why do you think that is?what experiences felt in alignment with who you are meant to be?if you had to describe this past year in one word, what would it be and why?write a gratitude letter to 2023find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i feel reminiscent as i sit down with my twelfth grade english teacher! michael (mr. goldfine) created an incredible environment in his classroom, fostering safety & inclusion, encouraging authenticity and the courage to create honestly and from the depths of our souls. his english class was unlike any i'd had before or have had since. his own unique journey helped lead him to a position to value embracing who we are and guiding others to do the same. a lot of my own practices in uncovering and returning to myself have been a revisiting of the ideology and exercises michael provided when i was seventeen. his outlook on what it is to be a human is a beautiful reminder of the finite time we have here on earth, and how to spend it. we talk about:- the joy of being old- the desire to be above average- a journey of self improvement- taking risks and putting ourselves out there- the importance of connection with others- our relationship with suffering- the influence of exercise and diet- self awareness through writing- acknowledging the way that we are instead of the way we want to be- taking accountability for what our life looks like- michael's latest travels- parting advicefind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i sit down with close friends, eric and chris. this episode is truly just a chitchat between friends. the conversation is always lively, interesting, and full of laughs when we all get together, and i'm so grateful to have people to nerd out with about anything that comes to heart. in this conversation, we focus on all things otherworldy: aliens, sasquatch, ghosts, and other realms! and some fun memories and opinions thrown in. (: i hope you enjoy the banter as much as we did! timestamps:- intro + get to know you qs (00:00)- ice breakers (16:50)- emotions, struggles, mentalities in society today (23:45)- aliens & the unknown (33:25)- eric’s personal experience (42:56)- sasquatch (44:27)- chris’ personal experience (56:28)- astral projection, other realms (58:47)- ghosts and spirits (1:02:11)- chris’ personal experience ii (1:02:32)- ghosts & spirits (1:06:07)- eric’s experience ii (1:09:35)- unknowns in the universe (1:12:06)- closing qs (1:17:15)mentions:- otherworld podcast-----gateway project series- the phoenix lights- national park after dark podcast- patterson-gimlin film (OG sasquatch)- astonishing legends podcast-----sasquatch episode- stop the spread of lantern fliesfind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i sit down with fellow podcaster and deep soul, beau deseo. hearing about his journey from a life of instability to thriving is beautiful and insightful. i love the way he views every moment and obstacle as a part of his story, learning and growing and reaching for his dreams. he truly is a soul i'm so inspired by and grateful to be able to know. *TW: death*spoilers: moonknight (MCU)we discuss:- intro + 3 ice breakers- the idea that life is always moving forward- appreciating the seasons of life- find a way through obstacles, not around- purpose vs appearance- his path as a first generation american- separating from honor obligation- finding new purpose- insecurities around our podcasts- muy thai- choosing the right path- strength and mental fortitude in martial arts- dating today- favorite media- our podcast process and pressures- parting wordsmentions:- moon knight- across the spider verse- john mayer- meditations by marcus aurelius - john wick 3- vinland saga: wiki | manga | anime*can also watch on netflix- caleb hammer (youtube)- iced coffee hour (youtube)- potterless- coach carter- rick and morty (s2 e1): a rickle in timefind beau:- website- instagram: @deseomedia- instagram: @flyingdyso1997- auxano podcast: spotify | youtubefind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i sit down with personal stylist, fellow human design nerd, and beautiful soul, alex fownes. she has truly taken her passion and wisdom and turned it into a thriving business by helping others harness their self love through expression and clothing. i’m so inspired by the way she believes in herself and utilizes her understanding of her human design to lean into her strengths and take the risks needed to work for herself in a world where others told her it wasn’t possible. alex shines brightest when she’s being herself, and i love to see how that draws people to her. we talk about:alex’s intro + ice breakers (5:00)self expression through what we wear (20:20)a breakdown of the style archetypes (27:35)alex’s journey to color analysis and style (36:17)entrepreneurship, showing up on instagram (41:04)supporting each other in the same space (48:09)knowing and accepting ourselves as we are (53:41)looking inward and how it impacts business (1:02:40)how human design has made a difference (1:10:58)inner critic and taking back control (1:18:40)letting go of the ‘how’ (1:30:03)which hogwarts house we are (1:37:37)alex’s parting words (1:40:01)mentions:human designtbm (to be magnetic)find alex:signature styling services (website)@wear_your_signature (instagram)find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
16 | my human design

16 | my human design

2023-10-1001:20:18

today's episode is a solo episode special to me because i talk all about my own human design. human design has been such a powerful tool for me to discover, accept, love, and appreciate powerful aspects of myself. i would frequently shame parts of me i thought were weird or selfish or unconventional. but human design has empowered me to embrace these parts, and treat them as they truly are -- my gifts in this world. there is so much info about human design and this episode does not detail human design in general, but instead, i talk about my specific human design chart, and all the things i've learned that really resonate and have helped give me confidence to show up authentically as myself. a breakdown of the HD topics:- what is it / how is it determined (7:16)- my energy type -- projector (14:56)- my profile -- 6/2 (25:27)- my centers (35:00)- my defined emotional center (42:49)- my channels (49:01)- my split definition (55:21)- my gates (57:36)- my life purpose / destiny (1:08:22)my fav HD resources:- get your chartmybodygraphdayluna- websitesdaylunajenna zoe-podcastsdayluna: spotify | apple- instagram@d.a.y.l.u.n.a@myhumandesign@erinclairejones@humandesignblueprint- booksthe book of destinies by chetan parkyn + carola eastwoodhuman design: discover the person you were born to be by chetan parkynyour human design by shayna cornelius and dana stilesthe definitive book of human design the science of differentiation by lynda bunnellfind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i sit down as a fan girl with youtube vanlifer, lost jenn of lost renegades! this was a surreal moment, because i always watch and admire jenn from afar, which can give the impression that because she shows her life on video for all to see, she evades the struggles and tribulations of those of us not in the spotlight. it was so wonderful to be able to sit down and connect with her on every day humanness. such a beautiful reminder that we can see so much of ourselves in other people, even those we may believe escape such "normal"ness. jenn is a beautiful soul and a guiding light for me in my journey of showing up authentically and confidently. i can't wait for you to listen! we talk about:currently living in a house in between nomad lifeupgrading from a van to a truck and campernavigating dogs in the vanhow the nomad life beganthe freedom of having fewer thingswhat we allow into our livesfeeling confident in your skinshowing up authentically, especially onlineanxiety, mental health, sharing it with the worldnomadic friendshipsfavorite places they’ve traveled and lengths of stayher dream job!the creative process behind their youtube channelhow jenn and charlie metconcerts, musicnot taking life too seriouslyfood as a love languagefind jenn:lost jenn (youtube)lost renegades (youtube)@lost.jenn (instagram)find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i sit down with a friend from high school who i haven’t spoken to in probably a decade! it’s crazy how paths can cross and split and come together again, just to learn your paths were perhaps not all that separate after all. peter has had quite a journey of self discovery, quitting his cushy tech job for a life of exploration of purpose and fulfillment. it was such a pleasure to reconnect with him and learn how he is currently navigating this life. we talk about:identifying as a specific trait or adjectivebutterfly effect of our own growthpeter’s journey from working in tech to quitting for van lifea live look at the practice of ‘circling’modalities that have helped peterthe power and magic of rejectionmentions:the king’s codewim hofrelatefulness (the circling practice)tedtalk: 100 days of rejectionfind peter:blogmesa rim yogafind me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
today i sit down and catch up with an old friend from college, alex weber! this conversation was truly so comforting and rewarding. we had no agenda but ended up just chatting about all things life has to offer. alex has such a beautiful outlook on life and reminded me to love and accept all that i am and to embrace this journey as it unfolds. we talk about:• community and finding good souls• wellness rituals• following dreams and the difference one person can make• the power of perspective• expanding ourselves through connecting with those different from us• leaning on love to unify• remembering that the story is always unfolding• releasing expectations and letting life guide you• embodying and loving all sides of ourselves• remembering we are all doing our best• what jealousy can teach us• the intimacy of names• alex's final words :)mentions:• brave not perfect by reshma saujani• gilmore girls• sondern. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
join me today in a solo episode as i talk about 3 important pillars in my life, all rooted in love. i discuss openness, acceptance, and forgiveness, my experience with each and how they come together in love and act as the foundation for all things i do. this episode was really enjoyable for me - i speak candidly and from the heart, without my usual bullet list or script. it's long, i ramble, but i hope some of what i say resonates with you and that you're able to apply some of this in your own life. you are a beautiful and good soul, and nothing you've done takes away from that. love yourself, and your world will change. let's dive in!find me: - website: *coming soon*- patreon: authentic AF- instagram: @authenticaf_pod, @tayrey.k- tiktok: @tayrey.k This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit taylorkilpatrick.substack.com
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