The Dave & John Show

Dave and John take a look at the entire universe - yes... the entire thing... and all the scary ways that it is trying to kill them. The dangers include, but are not limited to - Artificial Intelligence, Hyper Aggressive Aliens, Gamma Ray Bursts, Asteroids, Red Giants, Black Holes and even a super volcano right here on Earth! Is it even possible to make a Han Solo movie?

HAPPY HOLODAYS! Live from the Pacific Northwest, where Dave lives and John is visiting to see Star Wars: The Last Jedi, the boys are back and sitting down together literally minutes after John saw the film. After a long discussion of travel, train wrecks, the RMS TiTanic and turkey, they will spoil the daylights out of it for you! But first, they will warn you. Sternly and repeatedly to stop listening because they are about to discuss The Last Jedi. So once you get your warning (around 44:46) DO NOT LISTEN FURTHER unless you want to heard about Star Wars The Last Jedi. Up to that point, you're okay and you'll have a delicious holoday helping of Dave & John and why Belsnickle needs to make a comeback to make Christmas "better..."

The Boys are back together and talking about one of their favorite things - Science fiction! Justin Timberlake is back as the Super Bowl halftime show. Given what happened last time he showed up, and the way it effected Dave & John's daily business, they have some concerns about the whole thing. Plus, if Christopher Walken isn't part of the show, it will absolutely suck. Top 5 Science Fiction Films are the sujet du jure, and believe me, Dave & John have some strong ideas about what makes their favorite films worthy of inclusion. Now, there are some caveats. First, Demolition Man is the de facto Numéro Un. It is THE Official Film of Afternoons Live with Dave & John, and if you haven't seen it, you can't really be a total fan until you have. So you  skip to the next five in order. Also, John is presumed to have Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back is the go to film.  So other than those, Dave & John will give you their Top 5 Sci-Fi Films and hope that the future of science fiction doesn't disappear, like tears in the rain...

The Boys are back! After a long hot summer, Dave and john are finally back to cool your fevered brow with a look at their summers, weird Native American place names, food, movies and why the major studios don't want to take any risks on new ideas. Funservatives and the Vegas Shooting, and why AJ is at it again. Our friends - you - are why we do this. We love to hear from you and we love to have you participate. Should the guys bring back Top 5 since other shows don't seem to get how to do it right? Tom Petty would not back down...

The boys are back for one last rodeo before the big move for Dave to the PACNORWEST. Netflix has ruined watching television. How? They'll explain it. Is McDonalds going to destroy the fork? The move is going about as well as expected, which means that things are stressful and tragic at Dave's house. The Punisher is a anti-hero. Or an anti-villan. Depends on who you're talking to at the moment. The point is his symbol, the skull with the long teeth, is showing up everywhere. And we mean everywhere. Even at least one terrorist organization in the Middle East have adopted it, though they hate all things American. John visits Modesto for a really good an fun cause. That's it for the boys until September. Enjoy the summer!

Classic Dave and John from March of 2013. The boys share their Top 5 Nemesis's...

Dave & John share their thoughts on the whole Flat Earth versus Space X conflict, including reading tweets from Tila Tequila, who is not convinced that New York City should be standing up straight. It kind of frustrates Dave because, you know.,.. science. There's a new Star wars "fan" trailer out, and that is what frustrates John, because he gave up precious sleep and a life-long friendship to view it. Dave built a gate. And now that has the boys wishing for more tools and manly things, including an air compressor. Not they'd actually use

Dave and John had a little schedule conflict this week. So sit back and enjoy this Top 5 Partners I Want For the Zombie Apocalypse from March of 2013....

The boys are back! Should they be freaking out over the Glorious Peoples Democratic Republic of Korea? Or is it just the smell of the Kim-Chi in Dave's second refrigerator? Meanwhile, some Manteca Farmers - not Chris Teicheria who was off being funny with the German (Das - the singular, see? A little foreshadowing), save Manteca from imminent and ToTaL destruction. Dave is having the kind of day that will make you want to take drugs. Except that you can't. Why not? Because the pharmacy has become an impossible place to get them! John is doing great! Although his work managed to offend his own sister... Should Dave & John ever start doing Constitution Thursday together again? John watches the Bachelor so that you don't have to. Trust us, this week he took the bullet for you. Is John the next Bachelor? You'll have to watch to find out... Hell's Kitchen is a terrible TV show. It keeps John up at 7:45m with its badness. Maybe Chef Ramsey should invite Dave & John to be special guests on the show? Why are so many fights breaking out kids birthday parties being held at at Chuck E. Cheese's? Dave has an answer that puts the blame squarely where it belongs... Mac & Cheese pizza The Last Jedi is plural. How do we know that? Because English is a terrible language (see the foreshadowing above...) The greatest President was George Washington. Not Abraham Lincoln. The worst person in the world should be stuck down with a horrible disease. Why? Because she is is a terrible person and she has fake boobs. Dave & John have a solution to all of her problems. Just give all the money to them!

Dave opens the show by sort or, almost, kind of apologizing to John for his opinion - which we point out was correct - about the 1984 film, "Dune," which stared an almost naked Sting with an amazing grin on his face. They get into some other books that were good, then made into really crappy movies but could be remade now with 21st Century film making and be waaaaay better... The Bachelor features an attempted murder. John watched it so that you don't have to... An new Ikea has opened in Burbank, where John works. It's the biggest Ikea in the world, and John needs a new end table. So why hasn't he gone? Dave buys a welding machine. He plans to become a super villain welder... A and B, it seems like you must be one or the other, and if you deviate from even one checklist item you are a heretic and an blasphemer. You might go to hell, but Dave is Jewish and they don't believe in hell. Or maybe they do. It kinda depends on things.. John has insomnia. So he got a prescription. Dave also has a prescription. But its probably illegal for him to sell his sleep aids. It's been a long and strange week, time to hit the reset button and just relax!

Please, nobody panic. But the country may be coming to an end. There is a shortage of delicious bacon and we all know what that means. Or, maybe there isn't a shortage of bacon and it's just a fake news story. Either way, panic, anger and protesting is not really the best way to handle this terrifying situation. And if you do protest and riot, it's likely that you will be labeled, but that also is not really the best way to handle things. Dave went to Tacoma last weekend and ended up with a six year old puking all over the parking lot of the Blank Angus. Other than that, it was a fun trip. Except for the stop at Mt. St. Helens. Dave has decided on his Welding Project, while John is thrilled that both a sequel to Blade Runner and a reboot of Dune are on the movie horizon, even though the 1984 version of Doom turned out to be one of the worst films ever made. Dave, of course, has never seen it, but that doesn't stop him from arguing with John over why it was so bad. The boys are back, sans website (yet) for yet another foray into the news, issues and world around them with their typical grace, humor and tact.

The Dave & John Show was born in the heart of the 209, and even if the boys aren't "here," per se, they still can tell you their own personal stories of Modesto traffic hell. While John is coming back to the 209 for the weekend, Dave is headed up US 99 to the 253 (Tacoma) for a potential life-changing purchase. Which will not be made with lottery winnings, even if he has a Starbucks or seven along the way. John watches the Bachelor. Dave does not. Be like John, or at least let him tell Dave what's been happening on the show. what they won't talk about is Dave's weird John Malkovich fetish. The title for the next Star Wars movie has been released. The Last Jedi has the boys discussing the meaning of every word in the title. Yes... even "The." Take a ride on the 209 Roads with Dave & John as they enjoy an evening of fun and frivolity without actually getting behind the wheel or talking on the phone while driving!

Dave & John take a look at the inauguration of the new President, and their own concerns about things going forward, particularly in the areas of free speech and freedom of the press. 1-19-17-popeyes-jerryFree Speech means that offensive terms and ideas are part of the entire deal. just because something offends you or me shouldn't make it illegal. In fact, a case heard by the Supreme Court on Wednesday makes it clear that being intentionally offensive is protected speech. Which is good news for both The Slants, Popeye's Chicken and the Washington Redskins. The boys get into it all on this weeks episode of The Dave & John Show.

A year after they were supposed to do it, Dave & John are back together to talk Star Wars. Both Episode VII and Rogue One! The boys talk about what they thought of the two newest Star Wars flicks, which contain all the spoilers that Dave swore he would never talk about until he could talk about them with John. Get your Star Wars geek on and enjoy as for the first time in three years Dave & John battle Sith Lords, plot lines metaphorical coconut crabs, Simon Phoenix, LA traffic and even the Ghost of Mazzy for the first time in three years!

As Robin Williams passes away, Dave is facing yet another crappy Shark Week. The man who rescued John Kennedy dies and Dave is frustrated that nobody cares that Russia is about to invade Ukraine.