Haven!

I was driving with my friend Gaia, who works as an in-house middle school therapist, as she breezed through some girl drama she helped some kids navigate that week. In the middle of her recap she said, almost offhand, “Well, you know...everything falls apart in seventh grade.” I looked at her and said, “Gaia, that is your book title!!!" We all can relate to having felt that way. Seventh grade shakes everything loose, and in this episode we want to understand why. We both remember how disorienting that year felt. It is the middle of the middle, a stretch where identity shifts, friendships wobble, and everyone is trying to figure out who they are and where they belong. We start by laughing through our own memories, the trends we chased, the identities we tried on, and the moments that still live in our minds. Beneath every meltdown or friendship crisis sit the same two questions, "Who am I and who am I connected to?" Together we explore how parents can stay close when their child pulls away, how to let kids struggle in ways that build strength, and how to make sense of friend groups, independence, shifting interests, and the pressure kids feel to define themselves before they are ready. If you have a middle schooler, if you remember the ache of that age, or if you want a clearer sense of what your child is stepping into, this conversation will hopefully help.

Are we actually friends or are we just sharing Slack threads and the same calendar invites? This week we dive into that in between space of coworker relationships and genuine friendship—where you might spend forty hours a week together yet still wonder if you would ever hang out outside the office. I bring in my business partner and closest colleague, Kyle Walbrun. We’ve been through some wild seasons together, including the day I had an emergency C-section at 36 weeks and my maternity leave started with just one hour of notice. Moments like that bonded us, yet they still lived inside the structure of work. We talk about why I keep wishing we had more words for the different types of friendship, the way Greek has multiple words for love, since the word “friend” can mean everything from your ride-or-die bestie to your neighbor to your gym buddy. We also get into why resignations always feel shocking even though most people cannot say what they’re truly feeling before they leave, and the instant ick I get when people use the phrase “work husband” or “work wife.” If you’ve ever struggled to name what a coworker actually is to you, this episode gives language and clarity for that weird in between space of someone you may even spend more time with during the week than your actual family!

How do you talk to your kids about sex? And at what age do you start? The “birds and bees” conversation has evolved, especially in a world where most kids encounter digital content long before they’re ready for it. In this episode we start with my own awkward, memorable introduction to “the talk” which has been the norm for the last few decades when it comes to educating our kids about sex. Then sitting down with Megan Michelson and Mary Flo Ridley, the incredible duo behind Birds & Bees, they help unpack how parents can have ongoing, age-appropriate conversations about sex, anatomy, and consent. We discuss their recommendation of “drip, drip, drip” method of communication, helping parents build trust by introducing topics early and naturally instead of saving it for one uncomfortable lecture. We talk about practical tools for navigating conversations about: Anatomy Birth stories Sensory seeking body exploration Pornography exposure Puberty If you’ve ever wondered when to start these talks or how to approach them without shame or panic, this discussion may help give you language, confidence, and a framework to begin. They also so graciously offered 20% off to my listeners for their online course using code HAVEN20 - I can’t recommend them enough!

Perhaps a surprise to no one but my husband Aaron is neurodivergent :) When he was diagnosed later in life, it explained a lot... and raised even more questions. There’s plenty of conversation online about understanding neurodivergence itself, but far less about how it shapes relationships, especially marriage. In this episode, we talk openly about what it’s like to be married to someone who doesn’t process the world in the same way you do (& funnily enough this comes out the day after our 13th wedding anniversary!) I remember years ago he once told me he and a friend connect like “two different alien species who aren't of the same planet, but definitely aren't from Earth so they get each other" And my initial thought was "Well...if you're an alien - what does that make me?" He described me as the “human astronaut researcher” trying to understand him. It’s a metaphor that captures both the distance and the deep curiosity that can exist in these partnerships. We also talk about the current buzz around neurodivergence, how public conversations often miss the relational side of it, and why learning to understand each other, and even CELEBRATE each other rather than trying to change one other, has been one of the most meaningful parts of our marriage.

Memory Monday! This throwback was my very first podcast episode. I was winging it (still am, in many ways) and decided to start with a topic that kept coming up in every conversation with my friends who are also in our 30s: “Do we do Botox? Is it preventative? Should we have already started? Are we too late??” In this episode, I unpack the deeper questions behind those conversations. Why do we make changes to our bodies? What motivates those choices? Are our thoughts about ourselves innate, or do they form through outside voices and early influences? And when a thought about our appearance pops up, how often do we pause to ask, “Is that actually true? Do I really believe that?” I also share my perspective on the preferred term of "body neutrality" as opposed to "body positivity" and, even many episodes later, I’m still proud of this one from the archives.