Paper Cuts
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Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our thrice weekly podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press.
Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jonn Elledge, Grainne Maguire, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Marcus Brigstocke, Coco Khan and many more.
Illustrations by Modern Toss: https://moderntoss.com
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The brand new podcast from the makers of The Bunker. Bewildered by the US Presidential Election? Don’t worry, American Friction has got you. Every Friday Chris Jones, Jacob Jarvis and Nikki McCann Ramírez of Rolling Stone join expert special guests to count down to America’s most rancorous election in generations.
Get the full episode and subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and all major platforms.
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Written and presented by Chris Jones, Jacob Jarvis and Nikki McCann Ramírez. Audio editor: Simon Williams. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. Executive producer: Martin Bojtos. Artwork by James Parrett. Music: Orange Factory Music. THE BUNKER is a Podmasters Production
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2We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Monkey Business. We tell the story of Honshu, the Japanese macaque’s highland adventure. Can’t get no Satisfaction! The Daily Mail highlights the plight of a mother of 5 who has never climaxed. Plus – The Famine Queen. We take a look at the legacy of Queen Victoria and then wash our mouths out with soap and water.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by New Statesman’s Jonn Elledge, Pod Save the UK’s Coco Khan, Popbitch editor Chris Lochery and from the world of comedy: Scottee, Jason Hazeley, Daniel Foxx, Marcus Brigstocke, Rosie Holt and the BAFTA nominated Gráinne Maguire.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Jade Bailey, Simon Williams, Alex Rees and Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Production Assistant: Adam Wright,. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: It’s the best of the extra bits! We’ve compiled some of the best subscriber only exclusive content. Knickers in a twist? Top 10 things YOU didn’t know about pants. I will always love you! The Guardian’s list of Dolly Parton songs is frankly… extremely heterosexual. Busting out the fancy crockery! Le Creuset is in trouble and we’re devastated. Kind Regards x. Why your email signature tells us everything about you. Teach it new tricks. The Guardian’s melted our hearts with a piece about old dogs but not everyone is on board.
Miranda Sawyer and Alex von Tunzelmann are joined by all your favourites, including: Marcus Brigstocke, Andrew Harrison, Jacob Jarvis, Ava Santina, Jason Hazeley, Fin Taylor, Robert Hutton, Jonn Elledge, Scottee, Gráinne Maguire and more!
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer and Alex von Tunzelmann. Audio production: Jade Bailey. Production. Liam Tait. Assistant Production: Adam Wright. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Socials: Jess Harpin & Kieron Leslie. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Metro lists some of the most shocking moments from kids’ TV staple Blue Peter. Meanwhile, Gail’s Bakery is taking over the bougie high streets of the UK, does yours qualify? Plus, The Daily Mail explains why kids are so badly behaved and yes, it involves their past lives, of course.
Her Royal Highness Miranda Sawyer is joined by some elite guests, including Baron Jacob Jarvis, Lady Alex von Tunzelmann, Countess Gráinne Maguire, and Electress Jan Ravens.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Miranda is giddy to discover one final nutty column from Liz Jones in the Daily Mail. Meanwhile, Alex is concerned about the state of middle-aged men, as Stig Abell and Bryan Johnson recount their mid-life crises in The Times. Plus – Gráinne is shocked to learn that the fashion world isn’t actually woke, as The Telegraph cheers on the return of fur at fashion week.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by historian and wannabe boffin Alex von Tunzelmann, and BAFTA-nominated writer and host of The Way They Were, Gráinne Maguire.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Musk hogs the glory as the stranded NASA astronauts finally return home but Jan notices that The Mail is only focused on one thing: their looks! Meanwhile, a journo at The Guardian is having an identity crisis over her ‘problematic’ blonde hair, and Miranda contemplates her 40 years as a bleach blonde. Plus, Jarv takes notes as The Times shares life lessons from a well-adjusted, normal human being: Gwyneth Paltrow.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian and the woman of 1,000 voices, Jan Ravens, along with Podmasters' resident cheeky chappy and host of American Friction, Jacob Jarvis.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We’ve got the Glasto lineup, and we are sick of the ‘next big thing’ and ready to embrace Rod Stewart. Meanwhile, The Times has a slightly patronising guide to St. Patrick’s Day, so Grainne Maguire has created her own Riverdance-inspired itinerary. Plus – Fashion Week may be over, but The Guardian has some cost-effective ways to look en vogue.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by an elite selection of Paper Cuts regulars, including Coco Khan, Jacob Hawley, Natasha Devon, Jason Hazeley, Jonn Elledge and Anniki Sommerville.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Daily Mail has published a salacious account of an affair between Liz Truss and some Tory bloke. If you listen closely, you can hear the rage in Natasha’s voice. Meanwhile, The Guardian has gone White Lotus crazy and has published a wonderful column on the power of gossiping, which Grainne fully endorses. Plus – Miranda has found a brilliant piece in The Times that lifts the lid on the petty ways in which chefs fight back against bad reviews.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by host of LBC’s Saturday night show Natasha Devon and BAFTA nominated comedian Gráinne Maguire.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Times has Trump’s threats to Putin front and centre as the President pushes hard in peace negotiations – and Stuart feels conflicted for hoping Trump's bully boy tactics work. Meanwhile, The Guardian exposes Gen Z’s sneaky new office trick: 'taskmasking' but back in Miranda’s day, that was simply called 'bunking off.' Plus – The i’s resident sexpert Kate Lister tests out the viral bra with built-in nipples and Coco thinks this daring trend might just be a total game changer.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and host of Pod Save the UK Coco Khan plus we welcome stand up comedian and host of the Some Laughs podcast Stuart MacPherson.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Mirror is the only front page to mark the five year anniversary of Covid. Jason can’t quite get their head around the government's baffling response to the pandemic. Meanwhile, Sarah Vine at The Daily Mail has gone ‘fat jab’ mad, so Jonn takes a look at some of the most baffling columns around the weight loss drug. Plus – The Guardian looks at the romantasy revolution and Miranda questions if she would be happier with a beastly beau.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and the Messiah of the YIMBYs Jonn Elledge and comedic writer and man about town Jason Hazeley.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The i keeps us up to date with the latest from Trump Land, while Miranda questions whether Democrats wearing pink and holding up little signs is an effective protest. Meanwhile, The Telegraph is apoplectic over Meghan’s new Netflix show, but Coco wonders how much steam is left in the anti-Markle train. Plus – The Guardian dives into the weird and wonderful world of stage door autograph hunters, as Jacob shares tales of the oddballs lurking outside comedy clubs.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and fish enthusiast Coco Khan and the face of British plasma, comedian Jacob Hawley.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Did you enjoy your pancakes yesterday? The Daily Mail didn’t because in 2025, pancakes have gone ‘woke’. Meanwhile, The Guardian reveals that elder millennials are getting their tattoos lasered off, so we compare our ink. And The Telegraph takes its obsession with posh totty to new heights by ranking the hottest royal equerries.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by the who’s who of the Paper Cuts cinematic universe, including Anniki Sommerville, Natasha Devon, Jonn Elledge, Jan Ravens, Jason Hazeley, Ben Blissett, Fergus Craig, and Ava Santina.
Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts
Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Every single front page is singing Zelenskyy’s praises after his clash with Trump – but what does it really mean? Jonn breaks down the weekend that changed everything. Meanwhile, Miranda’s found a Telegraph column celebrating the return of middle-aged men – fitting, given today’s panel. Plus – The Guardian reckons city slickers should flee to the countryside to watch lambs being born – but Jason isn’t buying it.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedy writer Jason Hazeley and the king of the YIMBYs Jonn Elledge.
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Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Did Keir Starmer really play a blinder when visiting Goblin King Donald Trump at the White House? Katy Perry’s all-female space trip on Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin rocket: one small step for womankind or a “look! squirrel!” after Bezos’s troubles with the Washington Post? And between the spreadsheets: are Gen Z-ers really organising their dates on Microsoft Excel?
Miranda Sawyer is joined by writer/presenter/mental health warrior Natasha Devon and Good Housekeeping columnist Annika Somerville.
Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts
Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: We’re switching things up as Gráinne and Chantal take Miranda on a whirlwind tour of their favourite time of the year – awards season! Expect behind-the-scenes BAFTA gossip from Gráinne, Chantal’s ultimate dos and don’ts for the red carpet, and a look back at a year of high-profile heartbreaks as we hold our very own award show: The Breakies.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by the hosts of The Way They Were Gráinne Maguire and Chantal Feduchin-Pate.
Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts
Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Robin Leeburn. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Guardian is reeling from the results of the German election. Jonn walks us through the outcome and explains why the Nazis aren’t back—yet. We’ve brought in Gráinne to break down why the tabloids are obsessed with Blake Lively’s Hollywood legal clash with director Justin Baldoni. Plus, The Times has published excerpts from a former chief Tory whip, and Miranda loves the backbench gossip.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist and King of the YIMBYs Jonn Elledge and comedian Gráinne Maguire.
Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts
Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production: Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: None of the papers are backing Trump’s Ukraine plan and Marina explains why Europe should be worried about the President’s arrangement with Putin. Meanwhile, The Telegraph is calling on Gen Z to rise up and save EastEnders, as Jemma unpacks how the show has maintained its cult following for 40 years. Plus—Miranda has unearthed some top-tier middle-class dilemmas from The Daily Mail, as a treat for Dan.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian and bon vivant Daniel Foxx and the phenomenal hosts of The Trawl: Marina Purkiss and Jemma Forte.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph is naturally obsessed with an aristocratic family feud over an £85m ancestral estate. The Times does an incredibly deep dive into the history of handshakes. Plus – There’s a story about fish in The Guardian so we’ve reeled in our resident aquatic guru Coco Khan to school us.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by A list Paper Cuts talent including Zing Tsjeng, Ava Santina, Jacob Hawley, Jonn Elledge, Milo Edwards and so many more.
Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts
Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Pics from the BAFTAs are all over the front pages, but Miranda only has eyes for Wallace and Gromit’s red carpet debut. The Times wonders what will happen when Boomers pass down their wealth and Zing breaks down why Millennials and Gen Z shouldn’t get too excited. Plus – Friend of the show Anniki Sommerville mourns the death of ‘kept women’ in the Daily Mail as Jacob reveals he wouldn’t mind being kept.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Zing Tsjeng and comedian Jacob Hawley.
Use code PAPERCUTS to get an exclusive 60% off an annual Incogni plan: https://incogni.com/papercuts
Support Paper Cuts and get mugs, t-shirts, extended ad-free editions and access to our exclusive live streams here: back.papercutsshow.com
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Simon Williams. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The Telegraph praises Trump and Putin’s ‘productive’ phonecall. Jonn breaks down why this could be bad news for Ukraine. Meanwhile, Milo and Miranda are reeling over The Daily Mail’s jaw-dropping interview with a mum bragging about her affair with her own son-in-law. Plus – The Guardian readers spill their cringiest Valentine’s Day disasters – while Ava just sits back and laughs.
Miranda Sawyer is joined by comedian and host of Trash Future podcast Milo Edwards and the journalistic dynamic duo of Jonn Elledge and Ava Santina.
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Illustrations by Modern Toss https://moderntoss.com
Written and presented by Miranda Sawyer. Audio production: Tom Taylor. Production. Liam Tait. Design: James Parrett. Music: Simon Williams. Managing Editor: Jacob Jarvis. Exec Producer: Martin Bojtos. Group Editor: Andrew Harrison. PAPER CUTS is a Podmasters Production
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Love youuuuuuuu! 🥲👋😃
oh no. I love this show. my favorite podcast.
Miranda has the most wonderful laugh
The campest Podcast that I listen to .. I love it! Miranda reminds me of Victoria Wood (a compliment!). If you see me giggling to myself in the street in Maspalomas it'd because I'm listening to Paper Cuts 😂🥰😘
The claim that subscribers asked for fewer episodes is ludicrous. nobody is going to pay money for a show and then say have my money but give me less of it. When it started it was 3 times a week - then it went to.5 times a week because apparently listeners couldn't get enough of the podcast. Now having taken Patreons' money they've decided twice a week is more than enough...
unfair to Devonshires they tried to get the cleaner reinstated
this is how I get my news, 😄 ne of my favourite podcasts
Sign of the Times all day long! 👍
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My favorite anti depressant
At last. Daily. ❤️
Paper Cuts is a superb podcast. Current affairs is rarely ever this much fun. I really look forward to every new episode. Great work Miranda and team!
I look forward to this becoming a daily show.