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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
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Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Author: Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet

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Listen to the incomparable therapist Esther Perel counsel real couples as they reveal the most intimate, personal, and complicated details of the conflicts that have brought them to her door. This season, she takes on open marriage, racism inside an extended family, coming out in a religious home, and chronic infidelity, among other delicate dynamics. Esther creates a space for us to hear our own lives and struggles articulated in the stories of others. So....where should we begin?

32 Episodes
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Season Four Trailer

Season Four Trailer

2020-06-1802:272

A new season of Where Should We Begin? With Esther Perel.
Last summer they left everything they'd built in Seattle for a chance at a very different life. He took a dream turn to expand his company and be closer to home; she gave up her nursing job to manage their girls and explore new horizons abroad. COVID-19 hits as they watch the fate of other countries, knowing if it reaches Nigeria with a population of more than 200 million people, it will be devastating. They've been offered a chance to go home, but to what? Leaving Nigeria would mean walking away from everything, but staying could be more than either signed up for. Esther speaks to the couple as Africa begins easing restrictions.
They have three kids and their volatile marriage has fallen apart. She still hopes to rebuild. He can't get out of there fast enough. Two weeks before COVID-19 forced New Yorkers to shelter in place, they filed for divorce. Now they feel trapped. If he goes he risks not seeing his kids for weeks. If he stays he worries it will thwart his plans to finally leave. Esther urges them to think about this present time together and not about what kind of future they will have apart.
For the last year they have lived in separate countries. She took a dream job closer to where she grew up in Germany and he stayed behind with the promise he would follow soon. Six months turned into a year, which turned into a conversation that questioned the foundation of their marriage. It took the coronavirus to get them back under one roof again. While others might complain about the close quarters, this couple hopes to find themselves in each other again. Esther pushes them to worry less about the love that was, and focus now on the love that is.
They left each other emotionally years ago, but with three kids they have been trying to keep it together. For the last two weeks they find themselves confined to a small apartment in Sicily, Italy — he bears the brunt of the domestic duties at home all day. She must report to the hospital every day to help usher in new life as a midwife. Esther helps them come to terms with what these next few months could look like if they learn to communicate with one another in ways that might save their relationship.
Today we’re sharing the first episode of Esther Perel’s new show How’s Work? In it, Esther sits down with coworkers, cofounders and colleagues, and brings her inimitable perspective to workplace relationships and conflicts. You can listen to all episodes right now for free on Spotify and weekly everywhere else. https://smarturl.it/hows-work In this episode, friends and fellow dancers at a strip club: one brings years of experience, the other a youthful energy that turns angry at times. They’re here to talk about boundaries that are crossed, educating “civilians" about their work, family acceptance, and how they'll transition from the sex work industry into professional careers. Can sex work be a bullet point on a resume?
Happily Divorced

Happily Divorced

2019-11-2154:1054

They’re a divorced couple whose two-household relationship may prove that a happy family doesn’t have to end with divorce.
Mom and Monique

Mom and Monique

2019-11-1450:4119

They’re a child desperate to connect with their single mother after 28 years of living in the shadow of a special-needs brother.
A Romantic Revival

A Romantic Revival

2019-11-0745:0530

He’s away a lot. She’s a stepmother at home to four children whose mother died by suicide. Is there anything left over for her?
The Other Woman

The Other Woman

2019-10-3146:3646

She wonders if she can satisfy her attraction to women without losing the husband she loves.
A Small Town Affair

A Small Town Affair

2019-10-2447:2235

Their relationship started with an affair that ended two marriages. Now they wonder if there’s enough trust there to build something stable together.
Young Love

Young Love

2019-10-1747:2425

She lives in Mexico, he lives in the US. Their immigration status has forced them to consider marriage sooner than they might have planned.
Season Three Trailer

Season Three Trailer

2019-03-0845:284

A new season of Where Should We Begin?
Almost two years ago her husband was diagnosed with early onset Parkinson's Disease. They have three kids, a mortgage to pay, and he has developed some compulsive behaviors he isn't proud of. Esther helps them learn how to turn off the caregiver, and remember they are much more than that to each other.
[Contains mature themes] After a discovery in her doctor's office, a woman realizes her husband has been unfaithful. While betrayed and angry, she still feels a desire to stick it out for the sake of the kids. He, meanwhile, is desperate to find a way back to her. Esther takes them back to their upbringings and the years before the infidelities to find a place of mutual compassion.
[Contains mature themes] They’ve been together for more than a decade, but this isn’t the first time they’ve separated. Stuck in a cycle of explosive escalations, a husband and wife want to make it work but can’t break their habit of going for the emotional jugular. Esther encourages them to start their conversations differently.
[Contains mature themes] What began as an eight-year affair between two women has stretched into a 19-year partnership. But despite their private commitment to one another, they’ve never quite managed to move beyond the shame of their origin story. Esther takes a novel approach to revealing a long-held secret.
Leaving the Shame Behind

Leaving the Shame Behind

2018-03-3046:2510

A young couple has endured a series of crises early in their marriage, from a benign brain tumor to a serious car crash to the husband’s near-fatal heart attack. Following his recovery, he’s adapting to new physical limitations, while she says the children bear the brunt of his frustrations. Esther coaches them through an honest conversation on anger, parenthood and the power of apology.
[Contains mature themes] An on-again, off-again couple in their fifties, dating in a post-divorce landscape, are struggling with different world views, priorities and sexual interests. Recognizing that their polarized dynamic takes the fun out of spending time together, Esther guides both towards less rigid perspectives.
I Want to Feel Wanted

I Want to Feel Wanted

2018-03-1647:3323

After ten years, a husband tells his wife he no longer wishes to be married. A month later, stuck in limbo, they come to Esther. She helps them have an honest conversation about their expectations, desires, and the ways in which their role as parents has left little room for intimacy.
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Comments (167)

Soso Nwaobiala

This was a great listen!

Jun 23rd
Reply

elaheh

Wow... Just wow😢 quite a story. I feel for her. She's angelic. I hope she get through it all sane. I mean, her entire circle is judging her without any support but the molester 💔

Jun 6th
Reply

Nancy W

This podcast is a blessing❤ (also, listening to the wildlife in the background of this episode, while the couple talked, was lovely)

May 15th
Reply

Nuckin Futs

If you're looking for something that will completely blow your mind, then look no further. You've found it.

Apr 26th
Reply

Alexandre Junior

@mamilospod brought me here :)

Apr 22nd
Reply

Rachael Scott

It was hard to listen to a couple bicker with each other instead of listening to each other and listening to Esther. It seems like they didn't really want counseling but just to unload their feelings. The sessions with couples who actively listened and engaged with the therapist, and where some NEW understanding emerged as a result - these were more emotionally satisfying.

Apr 18th
Reply

Keerthi L.S.

I could be wrong, but it felt like esther was forcing her view of the woman onto her... I dont think she necessarily agreed to having a superiority complex, but esther kept coming back to that point.

Apr 4th
Reply

Grace Awino

Love and Love your podcast!

Mar 12th
Reply

Grace Awino

Honestly, I love this Podcast but kindly kindly...someone tell us when Indians have been subject to racism in Kenya!Indians have privilege and own a lot of resources and discriminate Africans. That said, Indians have been and are part of Kenyan community!! We just grew up and knowing we have Kenyan Indians.You were simply privileged that's why you could move and on any day, being a single mother is hard for anyone. But then again its wrong to say such ugly things but I stand to be corrected on this systemic violence( racism).

Jan 22nd
Reply

Regina Kungu

Honestly, I am from Kenya and I have never heard on Kenyans been racist especially to Indians. If anything, Indians are the people who treat Kenyans harshly mostly because most of the time they are the people who offer employment to most Kenyans.

Jan 22nd
Reply (2)

Rennie !!

I'm glad this couple was able to free themselves of other people's rules for marriage

Dec 16th
Reply (1)

Elaine Chang

"You have no idea what it's like to have hardships and not be alone. And neither does he." She's a genius listener.

Dec 5th
Reply (1)

Vongai Doby

I love your Podcast wish you could post more episodes per day

Nov 23rd
Reply

Janette Jones

POWERFUL💔😔👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Nov 20th
Reply (2)

Janette Jones

Thank you Monique, Mom, & Esther for your amazing insights. I had difficulty understanding much of what Monique shared, through the pain of her tears which impacted my understanding of the entire story and processing.

Nov 20th
Reply (1)

Niels Wee

Please also make how's work available other places than Spotify :)

Nov 16th
Reply

S N

The Psychologist sounds very biased against the man. She is quite rude to the man and doesn't let him fully explain himself.

Nov 15th
Reply

Katabatic

💔

Nov 8th
Reply (2)

Billy r

damn this hit close to home

Oct 31st
Reply (1)

Little Bird

23:13 onwards is very insightful

Oct 28th
Reply
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