DON'T PICK THE SCAB PODCAST

I’ve been waiting for the right moment to record this special episode.  We were recording the 183rd episode of Divorce Devil Podcast yesterday and I surprised Rachel with the request to do an episode on DPTSP, and she quickly jumped on the chance without hesitation.  I just wanted a few things that men over 40 could probably improve with going through a divorce from a woman’s perspective.  And, where did she go first??  I should have known d*ck pics!  But, surprisingly, the podcast gets much better from there.  Listen intently to Rachel’s points and see if you can improve on any of them.  Thanks for listening…Topics of:Don’t go back for sexNo unsolicited d*ck picsBe fairConcentrate on your householdJack in the Box DadRule and boundariesNo emotions in a textDo go out for bloodDon’t use the kids as pawnsPocket p*ssyDon’t send mixed signalsHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Where do I start without giving away the contents from the title?  Welcome, Chantal to the podcast.  Her book, RAISE YOUR LOVE SIGNAL, deals with some of the challenges men over 40 man and/or will encounter during or after their divorce.  Her teachings are just for a new significant other - but it works with friends, coworkers, and you kiddos.  Everyone needs and should give and receive love.  Discussions of being sensitive, dating allows you practice your skills, dating for a result, be available, mindfulness, managing the curveballs with tools, invest time, practice self-love, and it is hard for men to ask for help are all surfaced in this episode.  Chantal has a definite superpower: raising your love signal with this show.  Thanks Chantal!More Topics:Develop your communicationTake ownershipAdmit when you f*ck upHold each other accountableBuild fireworks over timeStupid superficial thingsCan I sustain this long-term?Seduction mode then get lazyChasing loveDealbreakersStepping stones to the right oneCreating a safe spaceListen to the red flagsThe art of modern datingChantal’s WebsiteChantal’s InstagramChantal’s FacebookChantal’s TikTokHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Where do I start?  What does a divorced or divorcing gay man over 40 have in common with a divorced or divorcing straight man? After interviewing Karl Dunn - quite a bit.  Karl comes to us to discuss the plight of gay men's divorce - with quite a bit of similarities and few differences.  His ability to form a special bond with some of his new-found friends at work is unique.  Both sets of men basically have some of the same issues and complexities that encompass divorce.  This episode includes discussions of living in an artist collective, self-love, the elusive pot of gold, and Marian’s Law. We have to get Karl back for part two, for I think we only scratched the surface. Thanks, Karl.Topics of;RegretForgive yourselfMaster your alonenessDivorce law is written for men, women and children There is no protocol Divorce reform as a mental health issueCarvana Tower commercialThe marriage didn’t make him. His divorce didBeating yourselfRepeating the same patternsThe elephant in the roomCommunication vs RespectAnger is not requiredI am enough being aloneExpecting and rehearsing things that happen in your lifeRainbow divorceALL THINGS KARLHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome Jonathan Steele to the show.  Being a divorce attorney, he has seen the whole gambit of the same old and the new old in his career.  Discussions of narcissism and gaslighting, divorce law misconceptions, parenting time, not leaving the home, being organized, and not bad-mouthing your ex.  But, what intrigued me the most was his cybersecurity element of divorce.  It was so fascinating.  This is not just your ordinary lawyer vs. divorce recovery podcast.  Also Topics on:The power imbalance in the coupleLawyers cost more than a therapistFight for parenting timeFrequent flyerWelcoming good lawyersMediationConcentrate on being the best father you can beTwo happy homes are better than one unhappy oneGet petty with petsParenting time with petsFull disclosureChildren may want to blame themselves for the divorceParenting comes with experienceNever stay for the kidsBeermann Law Office WebsiteSteele Fortress - CybersecurityHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Not too often do we have an actual wellness advocate on the show.  I do enjoy my professionals, but Jonathan lends a new direction and flow to the mic.  Through his life’s journey, he has compiled an experience quotient that relates to anyone who is going through a trying time.  From discussing body image, voids in mental health, being a small circle guy, old guy hockey, addiction, balancing work and life, and every day is a gift - Jonathan hits all the major cylinders of the engine of getting through some sh*t!  I appreciate him taking the time to drop some of his life’s knowledge on us.  Thanks, Jonathan.Topics of:Thinking about othersBe indifferent to those who present negativity in your lifeKarma is a real thingAvoiding feeling your feelingsThe importance of therapySnack of the Month ClubSelf-careFriends vs. acquaintancesKeep moving forwardShare the benefit of fitness with othersLead with graceFostering connectionsJonathan Niziol WebsiteHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome Eran Magen to the show.  He is a father and a psychologist.  His superpowers are helping parents with better relationships with their kids while having a business helping divorcing dads with co-parenting and self-parenting.  Being divorced, Eran knows firsthand how men can react negatively to having to co-parent.  Topics of suicide prevention, accepting the legal reality and moving on, mutual mudslinging is stressful for kids, soul searching, and boundaries. Eran imparted some interesting knowledge to me and my men over forty, and we really appreciated it. We hope to have him on again.  Discussions of:Jack in the Box DadParental AlienationTreating the kids as a business?Mickey Mouse shortsPick your battlesChatGBT is your friendFinally realizing you are living the dreamB.I.F.F.Getting over the shame and self-doubtShield them from the negativityFraming the conversation for the benefit of the child2,000 pieces of chocolateCollaborative ParentingSet boundaries early enoughKids are smartBe firm and clear without being harshHaving the kids with no distractionsDIVORCING DADS WEBSITEPARENTING FOR HUMANS WEBSITEHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Bill Simpson has been a professional coach for over 20 years and has seen his share of clients struggling through or after divorce.  His superpower is helping men be the best versions of themselves.  His insights come from having mostly women clients.  They gave him insight into what they were looking for from a man in a relationship.  Discussing men’s lack of empathy and vulnerability, being a better listener, taking a pause before responding, a love mission, taking time to be kinder to ourselves, and a divorce sometimes being worse than a death - my podcast with Bill creates and opens more conversations and thoughts down the road.  I must get him back on the show to get deeper with a few topics.  Enjoy.Topics touched on:Being ok with yourselfIt takes two (Not Rob Base)Not repeating the same patternsBe open to changeLetting go is hardThe hat-trick of divorcesReality is in the eye of the receiverMen suck at communicationAffirmations are cool, but don’t forget to acknowledge and accept the painFocus on the kidsNo bashing the ex in front of the kidsEVERYTHING BILL SIMPSONMEN ON THE PATH TO LOVE PODCASTHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome Mac Pierre-Louis to the show. He is an attorney who specializes in mediation for the states of Texas and Florida. His superpower is bringing two sides that were so far apart in the beginning eventually together to compromise through mediation. His messages included walking a fine line without being a therapist, patterns of human nature, and taking a pause at the beginning of the conflict of your divorce.  The podcast was much more interesting than I thought it would be.  Mac was an excellent guest.  Made it very fluid and understandable.  Simple conversation with simple concepts.  Thanks, Mac!Discussions of:Self-helpDon’t lead with demandsInterested-based mediationGive both parties respectIt takes two to tangoRetirement planningWant to build trustYou kicked my cat!A person ultimately wants validationNarcissismKarmaReptilian brainPrefrontal cortexCo-parentingBreaking the cycle of intergenerational patternsModeling healthy coping mechanismsDon’t corner the opposite partyProvide rationales for your positionFinancial challengesMac's Podcast - LMI PodcastMac Pierre-Louis WebsiteHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Jonnie Jensen is a man who has achieved remarkable success in building his business, providing for his family, and reaching milestones that many only dream of. However, despite these accomplishments, there is a lingering emptiness that success alone hasn't been able to fill. Like countless modern men, Jonnie has dedicated so much of himself to everything else that he has lost touch with his own voice and sense of self. He finds himself questioning how much worse things will get and how much longer he can wait for fulfillment. It becomes clear that what is missing from his success is none other than Jonnie himself.Realizing the need to take control of his life, Jonnie embarks on a journey to become the High Value Man he is destined to be. He reflects on his past, where he seemingly had it all - a wife, a business, and a family. However, behind the scenes, his relationship was in turmoil, work was a constant battle, and his health had been neglected. Jonnie admits that he wasn't truly leading; he was merely surviving. It was only when he hit rock bottom, experiencing a divorce and the loss of his brother, that he was forced to focus on himself and recognize where he had gone wrong. Jonnie comes to a profound realization that genuine success, meaningful relationships, and lasting results don't come from constantly prioritizing others. He understands that in order to be more for those around him, he must first become a strong and confident man himself. From this personal transformation, Jonnie creates the High Value Man Project and forms a community of like-minded individuals. The High Value Man program serves as a mastermind for business-owning men who are in mid-life and yearn for more. It offers a brotherhood of men where personal lives are transformed and business results are supercharged. Since its inception, the program has empowered men across the United Kingdom, United States, and Australia to reclaim their voices and build true wealth, meaningful relationships, and remarkable results in every aspect of their lives. The coaching provided within the program is rooted in personal experience. Every strategy and insight shared has been battle-tested and refined in the real world. Jonnie encourages participants to implement these teachings and witness the profound transformation that unfolds. He passionately conveys that it's time to seize control, take action, and become the men they know they should be. Jonnie challenges those who feel unfulfilled to make a choice. They can either continue watching others live the life they desire or join him in the pursuit of their own greatness. The ball is in their court, and the time for change is now.Additional topics:Clarity, courage and commitmentBeer bongForgivenessBeing your true selfDon’t give up on your kidsBe the best version of yourselfThis is the start of the endRespect your ex as their momWhat do you take responsibility for?Creating two happy homesThe F.I.R.E. conceptDistractionsNo More Mr. Nice GuyWhat does it take to step up as a man?Everything Jonnie JensenJonnie Jensen on FacebookHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Martin Hristov is a man who defies definition, believing that limiting oneself to a single identity is a restriction. Known by those close to him as a modern mystic, yogi, biohacker, philosopher, esoteric scholar, polymath, and entrepreneur, Martin has dedicated his life to pushing the boundaries of human potential. Every day, he passionately lives out the principles he preaches.Professionally, Martin is a self-published author, an inspirational speaker, a bliss coach, and an expert in holistic well-being. He specializes in helping successful men who find themselves in midlife crises, and individuals who are exhausted from their pursuit of happiness, health, and freedom. Martin guides them towards a permanent state of wellness, fulfillment, and peace, without needing to achieve more. Instead, he empowers them to unlock their untapped secret potential and turn their crises into triumphs.Martin's mission is to inspire, empower, and educate individuals all over the world through his book, coaching, and teachings. He firmly believes that the value he offers can greatly benefit any audience. Martin eagerly seeks opportunities to be a guest on podcasts, where he can discuss the foundational principles of his upcoming book, "Superb: Men's Ultimate Guide to Holistic Well-Being." These principles, including Spirit, Intuition, Energy, Mind, Emotions, and Body, are relevant to anyone seeking a better life, regardless of gender. Additionally, Martin can delve into a wide range of topics within his vast area of expertise, such as Personal Development & Growth, Purpose & Fulfillment, Creativity & Innovation, Habits & Rituals, Dating & Relationships, Emotional Maturity & Resilience, Wellness & Well-Being, Lifestyle Design & Life Vision, Masculinity & Leadership, Spirituality & Metaphysics, Mental Health & Stress Management, and more.Discussions of:IntrospectionVictim mentalityWhat is the next destination?I am happily separatedBe a good example for your childrenChange is uncomfortable at firstYour past conditioning, unless revised, is your life sentenceUntapped potentialWe are limited by our habitsKick you out of the planeTake responsibility tooEmotional gritAll Things Martin Hristov Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to "Don’t Pick the Scab," the podcast that brings you real-world insights and advice on the complexities surrounding divorces among men over 40. In this episode, I sit down with Sara Khaki, a renowned family law attorney based in Atlanta, GA, who shares her wealth of knowledge and experience in the field.  Join us as Sara and I dive into a candid conversation that feels like two friends having coffee. With topics ranging from narcissism and self-responsibility to getting ahead of things and understanding grandparent's rights, this episode promises to deliver valuable information that will resonate with my male listeners over 40.But that's not all! We also explore buzzwords, privacy pain points, and the unique experience of looking Middle Eastern, speaking with a Swedish accent, and embracing European fashion. Sara's refreshing perspective adds an exciting twist to the conversation, making it an episode you won't want to miss.  So, jump on this episode, all my men over 40! Get ready to gain a deeper understanding of the complexities surrounding divorces and arm yourself with the knowledge needed to navigate these challenging situations. Thank you, Sara, for joining us and sharing your kick-ass knowledge. We can't wait to have you back on the podcast again!  Tune in and let's uncover the secrets to a successful divorce journey together.Other topics:Parallel parentingKids are more resilient than you thinkThe movie The FirmHumans are messyEvangelizing the rest of the firmThe reasonable personParental alienation - a slippery slopeThe system is not perfectAdvising therapy for some of her clientsEvery good Perian girl either becomes a lawyer, doctor or a engineerA big fan of familyMulti-cultural nuances of divorceKids shutting you out - don’t stop fighting for themBuying your guilt awayThe mom voiceFell in love with the US ConstitutionSara’s Podcast - Happily Ever After Divorce:https://atlantadivorcelawgroup.com/podcast/Atlanta Divorce Law Group:https://atlantadivorcelawgroup.com/Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome, Dr. Marlene to the show.  She is a practicing psychotherapist who specializes in helping contentious divorcing parents get the best mutual agreement in their co-parenting space.  We connected on Linkedin and realized we are here in the same city, Colorado Springs, CO.  Her discussions of safety concerns, grandparents' rights, and not using the kids as pawns lead the conversation on the podcast.  I feel we only scratched the surface with our interview, and definitely have Dr. Marlene back for some more words of wisdom for my men over 40.   Additional subjects:Child welfare vs. parent’s rightsBoth parents are crucial to childrenNot being able to let goCo-parenting classesNarcissismBorderline personalityTell the children about the divorce right awayRecreational parent vs. responsible parentAll children to love both parentsLearn to love your children more than you hate your exDr. Marlene’s Website:https://www.marlenebizub.com/Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome Andrew Dewar, CPA to the podcast.  He runs a personal development company and podcast called Five Year You.   He engages others in their power of self-improvement.  His obstacles in life created this superpower.  While directing people to peel the onion-like layers back to find out who they are, Andrew offers us the theory that we are doomed to repeat the negativities in our lives if we don’t learn from the lessons that got us here.  This is a very insightful interview.  Thanks, Andrew.  Discussions of:Reiki TherapyTheta HealingTalk therapy back in the dayRebirth and birth can be hardTerrible accountant but great at solving puzzlesPut pieces together that people may not seeThe connection between accounting and therapyPrioritizing yourselfScheduling self-careGiving yourself permission to try and/or failLove, kindness and courageThe baby is not running yet!Your net worth is not your self-worthHeart and head disagreedFIVE NEW YOU WEBSITE AND PODCASTHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome coach and businessman Robb Brooks.  He penned two books to help men get through divorce and divorce recovery.  With his mess in the message - he provides men to experience their greatest comeback from the devastation of divorce.  Discussions of modern day kidnapping, being the best father you can be, being friends with your ex, male meltdown mode, and it’s hard to avoid the storm all play a part of this podcast.  We are pretty equally yoked in our thoughts and views of divorce and divorce recovery.  It was a fresh air to find someone as such.  Enjoy.Topics include:Know that there is a better sideWhat assignment does God have for usBro hug with the ex’s boyfriendCourse correction with coping mechanismsPractice gratitude, write 5 things down you are grateful for each dayRebuilding your identity and self-worthCo-parenting efficientlyFriends do pick a sideFall from graceA shell of your former selfHe is a dad firstDivorce meltdownWe all have the innate will to surviveRobb’s Coaching ProgramRobb’s Post Divorce Male Meltdown Mode BookRobb’s Facebook GroupHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Rick DellaRatta, an award-winning jazz pianist, discusses the healing power of music, particularly in the context of recovering from divorce or heartbreak. He emphasizes the importance of embracing music as a personal journey and a way to raise one's personal game while suggesting that individuals explore different genres and artists, such as jazz, to find solace and enlightenment. Highlighting the role of music in complementing other forms of therapy and support systems, Rick encourages individuals to take action, empower themselves, and find activities that enhance their healing journey.  Check out his Jazz for Peace website!Interesting Points:The healing power of musicMusic as a coping mechanismAddressing PTSD and suspicion with men and therapyThree messages for recoverySpeaking two languages - Jazz and EnglishNoah and the ArcBach never got to play the pianoFind solace in lyricsEverything to gain by developing a personal connection with any music instrumentFill our souls up with out greatest qualities and we have a better chance of avoiding destructive behaviorTake your mind off that crazy womanCountry musicJohn ColtraneEWF and Grand Funk RailroadJazz for Peace WebsiteEverything Rick DellaRattaJazz for Peace United Nations PageLook For His New Book On Amazon - Paving a Path For Peach Through MusicHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome Trevor to the podcast.  He is a professor of psychology at Oregon Tech and a licensed clinical psychologist.  His concept of Overlap (and his book) explores the need for men to connect more with living things in order to achieve more joy and happiness.  A very interesting concept.  Trevor, the king of analogies, was very gracious in his ability to project his advice and concepts with a divorced man listening to this podcast.  He feels that man need to step out more of the ‘man box’ and be open and maybe seek outside therapies like counseling.  Thanks Trevor for hanging with me!Conversations:Four levels of engagingRegain a sense of worthCarry on from a tragedyBe kindBIFFKeep the bigger goal at handDon’t go to a CNA for a brain tumorYou are not aloneBecome a better fatherAccept Bob at the party but you don’t have to like himMake little steps of progressWhat is the outcome you want and what action will get you there?Work life balanceTake a step back and realize how good things areALL THINGS DR. TREVOR PETERSENHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to the show, Alberta Jordan.  She is a divorce recovery and trauma coach who can and has walked the walk and talked the talk.  Her superpower is getting trauma unstuck in her clients thus enabling them to go through a transformation to a more positive state.  Topics of the perpetual victim, toxic relationships, health boundaries, narcissism, advocating for yourself, loving yourself, empowered identity, focusing releasing your trauma from your and more sassy now are all explored in this informative podcast.  I feel that Alberta directly speaks to my men over 40 in their quest for healing and a new reality.  Take a listen and grab what speaks to you and keep it moving! Spoiler alert - Alberta is giving something valuable away after listening to this podcast to the first 5 people that book a call with her after listening to this episode! Make sure you tell her that you heard about her on this podcast!Discussions of:Release and rejuvenateForgivenessTaking your power backFacing your past is the first stepBe your own heroLoving somebody else and not loving yourself paradoxLove is Blind - talking to the wallMaking an impact to help others live a better lifeAlways tell yourself the truthTaking your power backBe willing to change your language with yourself and othersAdvocate for yourselfExhilarated Life, LLCTransforming your Life -20 Incredible Stories Showing Strength of the Human SpiritHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

I don’t know how to even start to explain this one.  This podcast was so very interesting.  I thought, ‘what can a self-published author contribute to a divorce recovery podcast for men over 40”?  But I was quite surprised.  Welcome John Leister to the mic.  His challenging life has shaped his current view and zeal for experiencing life.  His basic and thought-provoking advice for men divorcing or divorced over the age of 40 is very genuine.  He emphasizes the importance of mindset, self-belief, and the power of creativity in healing and moving on from devastating events.  With a slow start to the show, John finally exercised his Yodaesque wisdom.  From discussing love as a motivator, anticipating negativity, the fact we need friends, God and faith, thinking of our lives as a quest, and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel - John gives my men over 40 some great insights for divorce recovery.  We’ll  have to get him back on the show.  Thanks John…Discussions of:Discovering a passion for writingOvercoming obstacles and taking a leap of faithUsing creativity as a healing toolThe importance of relationships and supportFavorite detective genres and inspirationsAdvice for men going through a divorceLike-minded peopleEmbarking on new adventuresCriticism is good - people are paying attentionTake the hits, we all get beat upWe have to love ourselves unconditionallyHealing is priceless.John’s Email: johnleister611@hotmail.comJohn on Indigo BooksJohnny's Way Facebook GroupAnd search for him on YouTube… very interesting!Hosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Isaac Gruenebaum, a mediator, discusses the process of mediation and its benefits in divorce cases. He explains the difference between mediation and arbitration, highlighting the voluntary nature of mediation and the role of a third party in arbitration. Isaac emphasizes the importance of attitude and mindset in mediation, particularly for men over 40 going through divorce. Isaac also advises keeping the focus on the future and not dwelling on the past while considering the role of control, communication, and willingness in successful mediation. He shares insights on handling contentious issues, such as religious differences and child custody disputes. Isaac concludes by highlighting the importance of listening and making decisions in mediation.  His superpower is getting two people that start far apart, to finish with a fair and complete hospice care plan for their divorce and a wedding plan for their divorce! And thanks to Isaac for being so gracious to me and my plight with this podcast.  I appreciate it so much!Crucial points and takeaways:-mediation is a voluntary process that allows divorcing couples to reach agreements without litigation.-attitude and mindset are crucial in mediation, especially for men over 40 going through divorce.-successful mediation requires a focus on the future and a willingness to listen and make decisions.-control, communication, and willingness are key factors in resolving contentious issues in mediation.-no relationship with robots-don’t use the kids as pawns-learning chaos-Jewish divorce vs legal divorce-knowledge is helpful-do good for yourself, your children and your world-Isaac with the wordsmithery!-a vetting process-a good mediation is therapeutic-are custody battles about the children?CONCORD MEDIATION GROUPIsaac on LinkedinConcord Mediation Group YouTube ChannelHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.

Welcome to the show, Lair Torrent.  He is a marriage and family therapist and author of the book THE PRACTICE OF LOVE.  His superpower is uniting eastern-based mindfulness practices and western clinical models and creating a unique approach to healing.  It does get a little crazy and fun towards the end of the podcast, but it lends itself to the fact we are all human and a little laughter is good for the soul.  Besides, who doesn’t want the big piece of chicken?Mindfulness.. Taking a pauseStop a habit, choose your words Paying attention on purpose to you thoughts and feelingsHealing is not linearWe are good at algebraDivorce is not a failureFace it head onGrief and suffering dealing with is go throughI’m not stopping to ask for asking directionsI’m a grown-assed manMen are starting to ask for help moreEverybody has a therapist in New YorkUniting eastern and western modelsSelling snake oilThe sacred pause, mindfulnessAll therapy starts with mindfulnessThe Frankenstein TherapistPractice of loveConveyance of love becomes problematicRecognize the self that shows up for loveKnow what story we are tellingYou got to own your stuffAre you mindful of your part?Personal responsibility Eskimos have 100 words for snowWe have one word for loveChemical love, the real you, dopamineMe centered to we centered thinkingYou can love others and not love yourselfAll roads mostly lead back to mom and dadFour core questions?Were you loved ?Were you safe ?Were you enough ?Did you matter ?Finding the core woundPractice self-compassionTriggered by the gravity of the momentWho in you shows up?The practice of the narrativeUnconditional Love - Chris RockChildren, women and dogsFind a bigger caveOvercompensationDiscover MoreWebsitehttps://www.lairtorrent.com/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/lairtorrentholistictherapist/TikTokhttps://www.tiktok.com/@lairtorrentHosted by Ausha. See ausha.co/privacy-policy for more information.