The Ecology of Intimacy podcast: Sex, Love, Intimacy & Relationship Coaching for Women and Mothers.

Why do we sometimes hide our feelings from the very people we long to feel closest to? And what becomes possible when we feel safe enough to let ourselves be truly seen? In this conversation, I’m joined by sex and relationship therapist Tarisha Turouk to explore the ways we protect ourselves in love, and how those same protections can leave us feeling disconnected. We talk about couples who withhold their feelings, the misunderstandings that follow, and why emotional safety is essential to deeper intimacy. We also explore how body shame and self-consciousness can pull us out of our bodies, even during sex, leaving us watching and judging ourselves instead of experiencing pleasure and connection. Drawing on sacred sexuality and Tantric traditions, Tarisha shares a different possibility: learning to inhabit our bodies, welcome the full range of our emotions, and create intimacy that feels nourishing rather than performative, with safety and consent at the centre. Tarisha also shares her journey from chartered accountant to therapist, reflects on the intergenerational patterns we carry into our relationships, and offers two simple self-compassion practices you can try as you listen. If you’ve ever swallowed your feelings to protect someone you love, struggled to feel at home in your body, or longed for a deeper kind of intimacy, this conversation is for you. It’s an invitation to meet yourself with a little more tenderness, become curious about the ways you protect your heart, and discover what might become possible when you allow the people you love to truly know you. You can find Tarisha at sexualempowermentforwomen.com, where you can take her Sexual Desire Blueprint quiz, and at couplestherapy.co.nz for her work with couples. If you would like to go a little deeper with me beyond the podcast, you can join the Letters from The Ecology of Intimacy here. === GUEST LINKS:   FREE QUIZ: https://sexualempowermentforwomen.com/quiz/ FREE MINI COURSE: https://radiantwoman.xperiencify.io/tarishatourokbody/mini-course/ Website:  For Couples: https://couplestherapy.co.nz/  For Women: https://sexualempowermentforwomen.com/    === VILATES •Website: https://www.vilates.com/        •Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vilates_/       •Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3fs2KlkHNzICKAg2crZSMB          •Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast/id1772602980       === . . . . . . Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, medical practitioner, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast. Copyright 2026 © Vilates, Pty. Ltd - All rights reserved.

Why does it feel so hard to be fully present in your own life, your relationship, or your body? In this episode, I explore one of the simplest and most profound ideas at the heart of my work: "now" is in the body. Most of us spend our days reviewing the past or rehearsing the future, and for women carrying the mental load of motherhood, partnership, and work, that constant vigilance can leave us disconnected from sensation, desire, and pleasure. Drawing on research into mind-wandering, the concept of spectatoring from sex researchers, somatic embodiment and my own story of learning that wherever I went, there I was, I unpack why the body is the most reliable doorway back to the present moment. We explore why so many women feel absent during intimacy, how responsive desire needs presence in order to grow, and how coming home to the body is where self-consent and pleasure begin. The episode closes with a nine-minute guided embodiment practice to help you settle your nervous system, reconnect with breath and sensation, and arrive back in yourself. It’s a practice you can save and return to whenever you notice you’ve drifted far from home. If you’ve ever felt like you’re watching your life, or your intimacy, from somewhere outside yourself, this conversation is an invitation back. Topics explored include presence, embodiment, somatic healing, nervous system regulation, mindfulness, female desire, responsive desire, women’s sexuality, intimacy in long-term relationships, spectatoring, the mental load, self-consent, pleasure and breathwork. If this episode moved you, please leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. It’s a free and meaningful way to support this work.   === VILATES •Website: https://www.vilates.com/      •Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vilates_/       •Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3fs2KlkHNzICKAg2crZSMB         •Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast/id1772602980        === . . . . . . Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, medical practitioner, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast. Copyright 2026 © Vilates, Pty. Ltd - All rights reserved.  

Who Is Living Your Love Life? When understanding your childhood isn't the same as living from the woman you've become You can know your attachment style. Understand your childhood wounds, name your nervous system responses, identify your patterns and spend years understanding exactly why you are the way you are. And still find yourself doing the same things. Still over-functioning, people-pleasing, abandoning yourself. Still chasing connection when someone pulls away. Still struggling to say no. Still living from a story about love that you learned long before you had the words to understand it. In this episode I explore what happens when our understanding of childhood becomes so sophisticated that it can actually keep us looking backwards, rather than asking the more confronting question: What am I choosing now? This isn't an argument against healing your inner child, understanding attachment or exploring your history. Because your childhood matters. Your patterns matter. The adaptations your body developed to keep you connected and safe matter. But there comes a point when the question changes. What if the little girl deserves to be understood, but she doesn't need to be the one making all the decisions? What if healing eventually becomes less about finding another wound to work on and more about learning how to live from the woman you've already become? Join me as I dive into the mother wound, attachment, nervous system responses, self-consent, erotic sovereignty and the difference between recognising an old pattern and actually having the capacity to choose differently. Because your history may explain you. But it doesn't have to become your fate.         === VILATES   •Website: https://www.vilates.com/      •Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vilates_/      •Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3fs2KlkHNzICKAg2crZSMB        •Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast/id1772602980      === . . . . . . Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, medical practitioner, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast. Copyright 2026 © Vilates, Pty. Ltd - All rights reserved.  

What if the next stage of your healing isn’t another certification, another practice or another thing to fix, but learning how to actually live your life? Join me in this beautiful and wildly honest conversation, as I sit down with Transformational Coach Manjit Khalsa to explore what happens when we stop treating ourselves as projects and begin to trust our own inner knowing. We talk about the performative side of spirituality, the subtle ways we give our power away, and the surprising “expansion crisis” that can arrive when you’ve done so much healing that you no longer know what comes next. Together, we explore what it means to choose aliveness, make space for joy without guilt, question the stories and labels that limit us, and become curious about what is actually true for us now. Manjit shares her journey from living inside other people’s expectations to claiming her autonomy, embracing simplicity and creating a life oriented around what genuinely energises her. We also dive into the nervous system, breath, embodiment, spiritual identity, the pressure to keep healing forever, and the possibility that you may already have integrated more than you think. This is a conversation about coming home to yourself, trusting your own authority and discovering that perhaps the most radical spiritual practice of all is simply being fully, unapologetically alive.   === GUEST LINKS: FREEBIE: 7 Days of Miracles: https://tantriclove.myflodesk.com/miracleguide  Book a call: https://calendly.com/manjit-coaching/magical-you?month=2026-09  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/love_manjit_/  === VILATES •Website: https://www.vilates.com/        •Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vilates_/      •Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3fs2KlkHNzICKAg2crZSMB       •Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast/id1772602980       === . . . . . . Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, medical practitioner, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast. Copyright 2026 © Vilates, Pty. Ltd - All rights reserved.

Why do so many women believe they're broken when it comes to desire? In this episode we explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of female sexuality: the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire. Drawing on contemporary sexology, neuroscience, nervous system science and embodiment, join me as I unpack why so many women have spent years measuring themselves against a model of sexuality that was never designed to reflect the female body. Together, we'll explore the role of emotional labour, stress, safety, relationships and context in shaping desire, why libido isn't something we can force, and how learning to listen to the wisdom of the body can transform not only our intimate relationships but our relationship with ourselves. If you've ever wondered, "What's wrong with me?" this conversation offers a compassionate and evidence-informed invitation to ask a very different question.   Topics explored include: responsive desire, spontaneous desire, female libido, neuroscience, nervous system regulation, emotional labour, relationship dynamics, embodiment, sexuality, intimacy and human flourishing. === VILATES •Website: https://www.vilates.com/     •Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/vilates_/     •Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3fs2KlkHNzICKAg2crZSMB       •Apple Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-ecology-of-intimacy-podcast/id1772602980     === . . . . . . Disclaimer This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, medical practitioner, professional coach, psychotherapist, or any other qualified professional. We shall in no event be held liable to any party for any reason arising directly or indirectly for the use or interpretation of the information presented in this podcast. Copyright 2026 © Vilates, Pty. Ltd - All rights reserved.