Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads

You can love your kids with everything you have and still need five damn minutes to yourself. Emily Busby joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles for an honest conversation about motherhood, mental health, and learning that having limits doesn’t make you a bad parent. Awards & Downloads Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 8 million downloads and listened to in over 200 countries. Feedback We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “I don't have to be endlessly available. I don't have to be endlessly patient. I really just need to be present and loving and honest.” — Emily Busby Content Notice This episode includes personal experiences with postpartum depression, anxiety, distressing intrusive thoughts about accidental harm to a baby, and childhood bullying. Episode Description The diapers need restocking. Dinner needs figuring out. A work call is starting, a child needs something, and somehow you’re supposed to remember every appointment while staying calm and grateful. Sound familiar? Emily Busby knows how to run that mental checklist. A mom of two, corporate professional, small business owner, and author of Mommy’s Not an Octopus, she joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about what happens when pushing through stops working. Her book began with a chaotic evening and her husband’s reminder that Mom doesn’t have eight arms. But writing it brought Emily face-to-face with something deeper: the impossible expectation that a good mother should be constantly available, endlessly patient, and capable of handling everything. Emily opens up about postpartum depression, anxiety, and frightening intrusive thoughts she was afraid to share. Dirty Skittles brings her own experiences into the conversation, including the pressure to instinctively know what her baby needed and the unexpected emotion of finally taking a shower for herself. Together, they explore therapy, making room for exercise, apologizing after losing your patience, and helping children understand emotions without pretending adults have it all figured out. Emily also shares two ideas that helped her rethink overwhelm: recognizing which responsibilities are glass balls and which can bounce, and allowing two feelings to exist at once. You can be grateful and exhausted. Ambitious and overwhelmed. A loving parent and someone who needs support. This conversation reminds you that your worth isn’t measured by your productivity, your house doesn’t need to resemble a social media highlight reel, and your two hands are enough. Keywords: mental load of motherhood, maternal mental health, postpartum depression, motherhood anxiety, intrusive thoughts, mom guilt, parenting boundaries, perfectionism, working moms, self-compassion, asking for help, emotional awareness, Emily Busby, Mommy’s Not an Octopus Meet Our Guest — Emily Busby Emily Busby is a mom of two adventurous girls, a wife, a corporate professional, and the owner of EJL Designs, her creative small business. Her children’s book, Mommy’s Not an Octopus, grew out of a family moment and became a playful way to talk about limits, empathy, and the reminder that doing your best is enough. Book: Mommy’s Not an Octopus Website: https://www.mommysnotanoctopus.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mommysnotanoctopus/ Key Takeaways The invisible mental load includes the constant planning and remembering that continue even while you’re doing something else. Emily’s experience taught her that discipline and pushing harder couldn’t meet every need motherhood brought. Loving your children and feeling anxious, exhausted, or overwhelmed can coexist. Being honest about your emotions and apologizing after a difficult moment can help children see that adults have limits, too. A shared phrase like “Mommy’s not an octopus” can help families communicate overwhelm before frustration takes over. You don’t have to measure your worth by how productive, needed, or available you are. Actionable Items Name one invisible task. Tell someone what you’re carrying mentally and ask for specific help, such as taking responsibility for scheduling an appointment or planning dinner. Identify what can bounce. Use Emily’s glass-and-plastic-ball analogy to choose one lower-priority responsibility you can postpone today. Practice an honest pause. Try saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need five minutes, and then I can listen,” using language that fits your child’s age and your situation. Important Chapters 00:01:18 — How Mommy’s Not an Octopus Began 00:07:02 — Athletics, Career Changes, and a Mentor Who Made a Difference 00:08:37 — Motherly Instinct and the Pressure to Know Everything 00:12:18 — The Invisible Mental Load of Motherhood 00:17:19 — Early Motherhood and Frightening Intrusive Thoughts 00:20:08 — Postpartum Depression and the Fear of Speaking Up 00:24:04 — Naming Emotions and Making Space for Yourself 00:25:12 — Exercise, Apologies, and Letting Kids See Your Humanity 00:30:03 — Inside Out 2 and Talking With Kids About Anxiety 00:31:36 — A Children’s Book Becomes Permission to Have Limits 00:36:22 — Social Media Pressure and Supporting Other Moms 00:39:31 — Glass Balls, Plastic Balls, and Room for Two Feelings 00:41:51 — Your Worth Is More Than Your Productivity 00:43:11 — Unlearning Perfection in Motherhood 00:44:26 — Releasing Control and Emily’s Anxiety Theme Song 00:45:56 — The Power of And and the Pressure of Should 00:47:01 — Where to Find Emily and Her Book Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #MaternalMentalHealth #MentalLoad #Motherhood #PostpartumDepression #PostpartumMentalHealth #MomGuilt #ParentingBoundaries #WorkingMoms #SelfCompassion #LetGoOfPerfection #EmotionalWellbeing #MommysNotAnOctopus #EmilyBusby ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.orgCanada: Call or Text 988 — 988.caWorldwide: Find a HelplineMental Health Resources and Tools: The Help HubStay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesOfficial Website: goesoninourheads.netFacebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheadsInstagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittlesLinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesJoin Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shopAudio Editing by NJz Audio Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when you’ve done everything society says you should, but still feel completely lost? In this episode of Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Tsvety Roo to talk about emotional healing, overcoming fear, and how one six-hour walk led to a life-changing solo travel journey that helped her rediscover confidence, purpose, and the courage to live on her own terms. Awards & Downloads Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “What if I gave myself permission to go after it?” — Tsvety Roo Episode Description Imagine living in one of America's sunniest cities and still feeling completely lost. That was Tsvety Roo’s reality in San Diego after a career layoff, years of following the “checklist life,” and the growing belief that she was somehow falling behind. She had checked all the boxes—college, career, bigger opportunities—but happiness wasn't showing up just because she did everything “right.” Then came a six-hour walk. Tsvety cried, questioned what actually made her feel alive, and asked herself something powerful: What if she gave herself permission to pursue it? Nine months later, she sold her car, stored her belongings, and booked a one-way ticket to Málaga, Spain. What she thought would be a three-month adventure became three and a half years of predominantly solo travel. With G-Rex and Dirty Skittles, Tsvety gets real about loneliness, self-worth, fear, and the pressure to hit life's milestones on someone else's timeline. She shares how meeting new people and experiencing different cultures helped her reconnect with herself—and how those small acts of courage eventually gave her the confidence to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, a dream she'd carried since age 12. She also shares lessons from her photobook, 21 Small Acts: Lessons in Living Boldly from Around the World, including how a candle shop in Finland changed her understanding of home. You'll hear practical ideas for starting small: take yourself to lunch, try a weekend trip, connect with new people, and challenge the beliefs holding you back. Because finding yourself again doesn't require a passport. Sometimes it starts with one brave question and the courage to listen to your own answer. Keywords: Tsvety Roo, healing through solo travel, mental health and travel, finding yourself again, self-discovery journey, overcoming fear, building self-confidence, emotional healing, loneliness versus solitude, redefining success, personal growth, women traveling solo, overcoming societal expectations, 21 Small Acts, intentional living Meet Our Guest — Tsvety Roo Tsvety Roo is a speaker, visual storyteller, designer, photographer, and creator of 21 Small Acts: Lessons in Living Boldly from Around the World. After three and a half years of mostly solo travel and visits to 46 countries, she has transformed her experiences with loneliness, fear, and self-doubt into powerful lessons about courage, connection, and personal growth. Through photography, storytelling, speaking, and her book, she encourages others to question limiting beliefs, redefine success, and discover how small, intentional actions can create meaningful change. Connect with Tsvety: Website: https://www.21smallacts.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tsvetyroo/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tsvety.roo/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TsvetyRoo LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tsvetyroo/ Key Takeaways You can do everything “right” and still feel lost. Tsvety discovered that career success, financial goals, and following society’s checklist couldn't replace a genuine sense of purpose and connection with herself. Loneliness and solitude aren't the same thing. Feeling isolated in San Diego taught Tsvety that being surrounded by people doesn't guarantee connection. Solo travel helped her discover the difference between feeling alone and becoming comfortable with herself. Confidence grows through small acts of courage. From booking her first one-way ticket to eventually climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, Tsvety learned that taking action despite fear helped her recognize abilities she'd underestimated for years. You're not behind in life because your timeline looks different. Whether you're 22, 39, or 62, there's no single right age to travel, change direction, pursue a dream, or redefine success. Home can be a feeling, not just an address. An emotional moment in a candle shop in Finland taught Tsvety that belonging can come from rituals, meaningful relationships, and the communities we build wherever life takes us. Healing doesn't require changing your entire life overnight. Tsvety's transformation began with a six-hour walk and honest self-reflection, proving that even the biggest personal changes can start with one intentional step. Actionable Items Take yourself on a small solo adventure. Start with lunch, a movie, or a day trip by yourself. Notice what feels uncomfortable, what feels freeing, and what you learn about your own company before considering bigger adventures. Challenge the “shoulds” in your life. Think about one expectation you've been carrying around your career, relationships, age, or personal milestones. Ask yourself whether it's something you genuinely want or something you've been taught you're supposed to achieve. Create your own sense-of-home ritual. Borrow inspiration from Tsvety's candle tradition. Choose a small, meaningful object or routine that helps you feel grounded and connected, especially during periods of uncertainty or transition. Important Chapters 00:02:32 — The Childhood Dream of Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro 00:07:24 — Reaching the Summit and Experiencing Every Emotion 00:11:08 — Emotional Disconnection and the Beginning of Tsvety's Healing Journey 00:12:52 — The Six-Hour Walk That Changed Everything 00:15:35 — Breaking Free From the Checklist Life 00:18:00 — The One-Way Ticket to Spain That Started It All 00:24:29 — Challenging Age Expectations and Society's Timeline 00:28:23 — Letting Go of Shame and Redefining Success 00:34:57 — Building Confidence Through Small Solo Adventures 00:38:08 — Creating 21 Small Acts and Turning Travel Into Life Lessons 00:41:52 — Finding Home and Belonging in Unexpected Places 00:44:12 — The Hardest Lesson: Learning to Believe in Yourself 00:47:05 — Where to Connect With Tsvety Roo Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #TsvetyRoo #21SmallActs #SoloTravelHealing #SelfDiscoveryJourney #OvercomingFear #EmotionalWellness #BuildingConfidence #RedefiningSuccess #FindingYourself #LonelinessToSolitude #MentalHealthJourney #PersonalGrowth #IntentionalLiving ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.orgCanada: Call or Text 988 — 988.caWorldwide: Find a HelplineMental Health Resources and Tools: The Help HubStay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesOfficial Website: goesoninourheads.netFacebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheadsInstagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittlesLinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesJoin Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shopAudio Editing by NJz Audio Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

After years of wondering why he felt different from everyone else, Eric Gee turned his curiosity into a way to help people better understand themselves and each other. In this episode, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Eric to talk about personality types, self-acceptance, emotional wellness, and why trying to fit into someone else's version of normal can hold us back. Awards & Downloads Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote "I don't think it's always healthy to try to be like others." — Eric Gee Episode Description Why do we spend so much of our lives trying to become the person everyone else expects us to be? For Eric Gee, Author of The Power of Personality, that question started when he was young and felt different from the people around him. Instead of accepting that he needed to fit in, he became curious about what makes each of us unique. In this funny, refreshingly honest conversation, Eric joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to explore personality types, self-acceptance, and the connection between understanding ourselves and emotional well-being. He introduces his animal-based personality framework, which groups 16 personality types into four packs: gatherers, hunters, smiths, and shamans. But this isn't about slapping another label on yourself. It's about recognizing your natural strengths, understanding your struggles, and realizing that someone else's way of doing things might not work for you. G-Rex shares why her butterfly personality feels ridiculously accurate, while Dirty Skittles opens up about her frustration with traditional personality assessments. Eric explains how his work with students, teachers, and parents revealed the limits of one-size-fits-all expectations. The conversation also gets personal. Eric discusses self-doubt, confidence, the fear of not being good enough, and the advice he'd give his younger self about worrying less about other people's opinions. Whether you've struggled with fitting in, questioned your strengths, or wondered why certain relationships feel complicated, this episode offers a different perspective on personal growth. Because understanding who you are isn't about becoming someone better than everybody else. It's about becoming more comfortable being yourself. Keywords: Eric Gee, The Power of Personality, personality types, self-acceptance, mental health, self-awareness, emotional wellness, self-discovery, personality assessment, confidence building, personal growth, understanding personality differences, healthy relationships, parenting and personality, overcoming self-doubt Meet Our Guest — Eric Gee Eric Gee is an Author, life coach, and writing coach with more than 20 years of experience in personality-based coaching. Through his education company, he developed and applied a personality typing method that has helped more than 20,000 students, parents, and teachers better understand individual differences. His book, The Power of Personality, brings together decades of research and practical experience to help people recognize their strengths, understand others, and embrace what makes them unique. Connect with Eric: Website: https://www.projectyoutopia.com/university Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_power_of_personality/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/eric.c.gee LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-gee-3565a79/ Key Takeaways Being different doesn't mean something is wrong with you. Eric's journey reminds us that personal growth starts with understanding our natural tendencies, not constantly trying to meet someone else's expectations. Personality types are tools, not limitations. Eric encourages people to recognize their strengths and motivations without assuming they can only behave in one particular way. Your greatest strengths can also become your biggest struggles. Eric's concept of "deviant roles" explores how our natural tendencies can work against us when they're taken too far. Understanding personality differences can strengthen relationships. Parents, teachers, partners, and coworkers can communicate more thoughtfully when they stop expecting everyone to think and respond the same way. Self-doubt doesn't have to define your confidence. Eric openly discusses questioning whether he's good enough and why reminding ourselves of our abilities matters. Self-acceptance requires letting go of outside expectations. One of Eric's most important life lessons is learning that other people's opinions shouldn't determine how we live. Actionable Items Get curious about your personality. Explore Eric's personality framework and reflect on which descriptions resonate with you. Use the results as a starting point for self-reflection, not a permanent label or clinical assessment. Question one: An expectation you're trying to meet. Think about something you do because you believe you're supposed to. Ask yourself whether it genuinely supports your goals or whether you're trying to fit someone else's definition of success. Practice understanding before judging. The next time someone approaches a problem differently, ask what might motivate their perspective instead of assuming your way is the only right one. Important Chapters 00:00:36 — Meet Eric Gee: Personality, Humor, and Finding Your Own Way 00:04:18 — Why Eric Became Interested in Personality Types 00:07:42 — Understanding Personality Through Animal Types 00:09:58 — The Four Personality Packs: Gatherers, Hunters, Smiths, and Shamans 00:12:07 — Why Being Yourself Matters for Emotional Health 00:15:29 — How Personality Awareness Can Help Students and Teachers 00:17:47 — G-Rex Discovers Her Butterfly Personality 00:19:00 — Deviant Roles: When Personality Strengths Become Weaknesses 00:24:47 — Challenging Traditional Personality Tests and Labels 00:26:04 — Using Personality Awareness to Understand Others 00:27:52 — Eric's Baboon Personality and the Search for Self-Knowledge 00:30:46 — Understanding Personality Differences Between Parents and Children 00:35:14 — What Eric Would Tell His 12-Year-Old Self 00:36:53 — Life's Hardest Lessons: Expectations and Disillusionment 00:37:23 — Anxiety, Self-Doubt, and Learning to Feel Good Enough 00:39:24 — Where to Find Eric's Personality Assessment and Book Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #EricGee #ThePowerOfPersonality #PersonalityTypes #SelfAcceptance #SelfDiscovery #EmotionalWellness #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #ConfidenceBuilding #OvercomingSelfDoubt #HealthyRelationships #UnderstandingYourself #PersonalityAssessment #BeYourself ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.orgCanada: Call or Text 988 — 988.caWorldwide: Find a HelplineMental Health Resources and Tools: The Help HubStay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesOfficial Website: goesoninourheads.netFacebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheadsInstagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittlesLinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesJoin Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shopAudio Editing by NJz Audio Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Holly Porter survived 70 days in the hospital battling COVID-19, but surviving was only the beginning of her emotional and mental health journey. In this powerful conversation, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Holly to explore her near-death experience, the devastating mental health impact of long COVID, and how she found purpose, peace, and hope after two of the darkest years of her life. Awards & Downloads Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “Love them where they're at.” — Holly Porter Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder Content Notice: This episode includes conversations about near-death experiences, serious illness, medical trauma, chronic pain, profound emotional distress, family loss, and wishing for death during difficult periods of recovery. Please listen with care and take breaks if needed. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 or visit: https://988lifeline.org/ For crisis resources outside the United States: https://findahelpline.com/ Episode Description What happens when you survive something that nearly kills you, only to discover that staying alive is an entirely different battle? For Holly Porter, surviving COVID-19 meant 70 days in the hospital, two intubations, a tracheotomy, sepsis, and a near-death experience that changed everything she believed about life, purpose, and healing. In this deeply personal episode of Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, Holly joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to share the mental health struggles that followed her hospitalization. Long COVID, chronic pain, hair loss, and losing her singing voice were devastating enough. But the emotional aftermath brought nearly two years of darkness, broken relationships, overwhelming grief, and moments when Holly questioned why she had survived at all. Holly opens up about her spiritual experiences, the questions she faced about her legacy, and how finding meaning in her suffering became part of rebuilding her life. She also shares the heartbreaking family challenges that tested her resilience and the lessons she learned about surrender, forgiveness, judgment, and loving people exactly where they are. Through her personal development framework, SHIFT—Surrender, Hope, Intuition, Faith, and Transformation—Holly offers a perspective on navigating adversity without pretending healing happens overnight. This conversation isn't about magically fixing everything. It's about surviving the messy middle, recognizing that emotional recovery takes time, and finding one small way to move forward. If you're navigating long COVID, medical trauma, grief, or the emotional weight of starting over, Holly's story reminds us that progress doesn't have to be dramatic to matter. Sometimes, better is simply better. Keywords: Holly Porter, near-death experience, long COVID mental health, mental health recovery, COVID-19 survivor story, medical trauma recovery, emotional healing, chronic illness and mental health, resilience after trauma, finding purpose after illness, mental health struggles, spiritual transformation, surrender and healing, grief and recovery, mental health podcast Meet Our Guest — Holly Porter Holly Porter is an international speaker, bestselling author of 18 books, entrepreneur, and founder and CEO of the International Retreat Association. With more than 30 years of entrepreneurial experience, she also hosts the All Things Retreat podcast and wrote The Near Death SHIFT, a deeply personal exploration of what her near-death experience taught her about life, business, and purpose. Following her 70-day battle with COVID-19 and the emotional challenges that followed, Holly has dedicated herself to helping others transform adversity into purpose, meaningful connection, and positive change. Connect with Holly Porter: Website: https://www.HollyPorter.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hollyporterinternational/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HOLLYANNPORTER/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IntlRetreatAssociation LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hollyporter/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/hollyporter Substack: https://substack.com/@hollyporter Key Takeaways Survival and recovery aren't the same thing. Holly's 70-day hospitalization was only the beginning. Long COVID, chronic pain, and profound emotional struggles demonstrated how complicated life after a medical crisis can become. Mental health struggles can follow physical trauma. Losing her hair, singing voice, independence, and sense of normalcy affected Holly's emotional well-being in ways she never anticipated. Purpose can help you move forward through uncertainty. Holly found motivation in the commitments and projects she believed she needed to fulfill, even when the rest of her life felt overwhelming. Surrender doesn't have to mean giving up. Through her SHIFT framework, Holly explains how accepting uncertainty and letting go of the need to control everything reshaped her perspective. Compassion matters more than judgment. One of Holly's most meaningful lessons is to love people where they are, even when their choices, beliefs, or experiences differ from yours. Progress doesn't require perfection. Holly's personal reminder, "Better's better," encourages you to focus on small improvements instead of expecting immediate transformation. Actionable Items Ask yourself what you need right now. When life feels overwhelming, borrow Holly's reflective question: "What do I need to learn out of this experience?" Consider what support, information, or change might make today a little more manageable. Practice loving people where they are. When someone triggers frustration or judgment, pause before reacting. Approach the situation with compassion while still respecting your own boundaries. Make "better's better" your daily reminder. Identify one small thing you can do today to support your mental or emotional well-being. It might be reaching out to someone, taking a break, or acknowledging progress you've already made. Important Chapters 00:02:27 — Holly Introduces Her Near-Death Experience 00:03:22 — 70 Days in the Hospital: COVID-19, Sepsis, and Survival 00:04:09 — Understanding Near-Death Experiences and Spiritual Transformation 00:06:32 — Facing Mortality, Self-Worth, and Questions About Legacy 00:09:19 — Being Present Versus Simply Being There 00:10:38 — The Meaning of 11:11 and Holly's New Purpose 00:15:42 — Two Years of Emotional Darkness After Surviving 00:19:09 — Rebuilding Purpose Through Entrepreneurship and Service 00:22:41 — Long COVID, Chronic Pain, and the Mental Health Toll 00:25:55 — What Holly Learned About Moving Through Difficult Times 00:28:48 — Life Review, Forgiveness, and Loving People Where They Are 00:31:09 — The SHIFT Framework: Surrender, Hope, Intuition, Faith, and Transformation 00:32:32 — Online Judgment, Harsh Comments, and Emotional Boundaries 00:38:46 — Family Heartbreak and One of Holly's Hardest Lessons 00:41:19 — Better's Better: Finding Strength in Small Steps 00:42:29 — Why Peace Became Holly's Favorite Word 00:43:20 — Where to Find Holly and Her Closing Message Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #HollyPorter #NearDeathExperience #LongCOVID #MentalHealthRecovery #MedicalTrauma #ChronicIllnessSupport #EmotionalHealing #ResilienceAfterTrauma #FindingPurpose #GriefAndHealing #SelfCompassion #SurrenderAndHealing #COVIDSurvivor #MentalHealthJourney #HealingAfterTrauma ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.orgCanada: Call or Text 988 — 988.caWorldwide: Find a HelplineMental Health Resources and Tools: The Help HubStay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesOfficial Website: goesoninourheads.netFacebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheadsInstagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittlesLinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesJoin Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shopAudio Editing by NJz Audio Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when a life-threatening medical diagnosis forces you to rethink everything you thought you could control? In this deeply personal episode of Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Steve Collins to explore his journey through vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (vEDS), medical trauma, job loss, and the powerful role of faith, humor, and resilience in finding purpose after life changes overnight. Awards & Downloads Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries. Feedback We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here: https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a Mental Health Quote “Your identity isn't defined by what you can do. Sometimes your greatest purpose comes from learning to let go, accept help, and show up for others in a different way.” — Inspired by Steve Collins Content Notice & Crisis Resources This episode includes discussions of life-threatening medical emergencies, chronic illness, medical trauma, fear of death, and the emotional impact of losing independence and employment. Please listen with care. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988 or visit: https://988lifeline.org/ For crisis resources outside the United States: https://findahelpline.com/ Episode Description Steve Collins thought he had a stubborn stomach issue. Instead, persistent abdominal pain led to an artery dissection, a 32-day hospital stay, and a diagnosis he'd never heard of: vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (vEDS), a rare connective tissue disorder that changed what everyday life could look like. His decision to ask doctors to re-examine his scan became a powerful lesson in speaking up for your health. But surviving the medical crisis was only the beginning. Steve tells G-Rex and Dirty Skittles what happened when he returned home and realized he couldn't simply muscle through life the way he always had. The guy who fixed everything, jumped in to help others, and took pride in showing up at work now had to ask for help, accept physical limits, and reckon with a terrifying question: Who am I if I can't do what I used to do? At the same time, layoffs and the uncertainty of contract work challenged his sense of security. Steve opens up about the emotional fallout of job loss, the urge to control outcomes, and the anxiety that can follow a diagnosis when ordinary aches suddenly feel loaded with meaning. He also talks honestly about how medical emergencies affect spouses and families, not just patients. Through it all, his faith in God, his family's support, a sense of humor, and connections with others living with rare conditions helped him rethink what purpose looks like. You'll hear why he wears a medical alert bracelet, keeps health information handy, and believes that a respectful second question can matter. This isn't a story about pretending fear disappears. It's about learning to live with uncertainty without letting it run the whole damn show. Keywords: Steve Collins, vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, vEDS awareness, health anxiety, chronic illness mental health, rare disease diagnosis, medical trauma recovery, patient self-advocacy, faith over fear, letting go of control, job loss trauma, emotional resilience, chronic illness identity, caregiver mental health, finding purpose after illness Meet Our Guest — Steve Collins Steve Collins is a husband, stepfather, business leader, and man of faith living with vascular Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (vEDS), a rare genetic connective tissue disorder. As Strategic Partner and Principal Consultant at PADE HCM Services, he brings his professional experience into a new chapter of entrepreneurship while navigating the physical and emotional realities of his diagnosis. Through his story, Steve encourages others to advocate for their health, recognize the impact of medical trauma, and find meaning through faith, connection, and accepting what they cannot control. Connect with Steve: Company: PADE HCM Services Website: https://www.padeservices.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/StevevEDS LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/steve-collins-shrm-cp-ms-b47a2538a/ Key Takeaways Self-advocacy can change everything. Steve's decision to ask for another review of his medical scan helped uncover a dangerous arterial dissection. Asking questions and speaking up about persistent concerns can be essential to getting appropriate care. Medical trauma doesn't end when you leave the hospital. Living with vEDS means navigating uncertainty, physical restrictions, medication effects, and the emotional weight of knowing that serious complications can occur unexpectedly. Your diagnosis doesn't define who you are. Steve struggled when activities that once gave him purpose became unsafe. He learned that helping others doesn't always require physical strength; sometimes encouragement and simply being present are just as meaningful. Job loss can leave emotional scars even before it happens to you. Watching colleagues lose their jobs affected Steve's sense of security and led him to seek greater control over his financial future. His story reminds us that employment uncertainty can affect confidence, relationships, and emotional well-being. Caregivers carry their own invisible burdens. While Steve was hospitalized, his wife managed their family, work, and the fear of potentially losing someone she loved. Supporting the people standing beside someone in crisis matters just as much. Faith and community can help create purpose within uncertainty. Steve's relationship with God, his family, and others facing rare diagnoses helped him shift from focusing only on what he'd lost to recognizing how his experiences could encourage others. Actionable Items Advocate for yourself during medical appointments. Track your symptoms, ask questions when something doesn't make sense, and request clarification or a second opinion when concerns remain unresolved. Follow your medical team's guidance for urgent symptoms; don't delay emergency care. Identify where you're holding on too tightly. Think about a situation involving work, health, finances, or relationships where you're trying to control every outcome. Ask yourself what you can genuinely influence, what you cannot, and where accepting support might make life easier. Check on the caregivers, too. When someone you know is facing a health crisis, reach out to their spouse, partner, or family. Offer something specific, such as helping with a household task, bringing a meal, or simply listening without expecting them to have everything figured out. Important Chapters 00:01:33 — Job Loss, Financial Uncertainty, and Finding Gratitude 00:02:37 — The Abdominal Pain That Changed Steve's Life 00:03:58 — Discovering an Arterial Dissection and a Rare Diagnosis 00:06:23 — Medical Trauma and the Hidden Struggles of Caregivers 00:08:47 — Finding Purpose in the Middle of Suffering 00:12:28 — Layoff Trauma, Fear, and the Need for Control 00:17:11 — Genetic Testing and Understanding Vascular Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome 00:23:41 — The Importance of Medical Self-Advocacy 00:26:53 — Living with Health Anxiety and a New Normal 00:30:11 — Chronic Illness, Identity Loss, and Learning to Accept Help 00:33:59 — Parenting, Stress, and the Fear of Physical Complications 00:36:12 — Work-Life Balance and Learning to Prioritize Health 00:38:25 — What Steve Would Tell His Younger Self About Control 00:40:35 — Faith Over Fear and Trusting God Through Uncertainty 00:44:27 — Finding Community and Supporting Others with vEDS Closing CTA Subscribe, Rate, and Review! Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website: https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews #MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #VascularEDS #VEDSAwareness #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #RareDiseaseAwareness #MedicalSelfAdvocacy #ChronicIllnessJourney #HealthAnxiety #MedicalTrauma #FaithOverFear #JobLossRecovery #LettingGoOfControl #CaregiverSupport #LivingWithVEDS ***************************************************************************If You Need Support, Reach OutIf you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.orgCanada: Call or Text 988 — 988.caWorldwide: Find a HelplineMental Health Resources and Tools: The Help HubStay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesOfficial Website: goesoninourheads.netFacebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheadsInstagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittlesLinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty SkittlesJoin Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shopAudio Editing by NJz Audio Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.