The Dumbest Story of the Week

It's episode 102 and we’re cruising now! The polls say that the Democrats are poised for big wins in the upcoming Midterm elections, and that has left them jittery with a case of The Midterm Blues. Will Democrats manage to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory as they have grown so adept at doing? Vivek Ramaswamy issues the most distasteful and disgusting political ad ever, and Trump and Vance just love it. There truly is no bottom for the MAGA cult. Could you win at competitive napping? I’d like to give it a shot. A priest who lived by the cross dies by the cross. A man in Las Vegas drinks perhaps as many as 40 beers and steals a flamingo. Cue the ghost of Chris Cornell. (I don’t mind stealing birds…)  Hegseth’s goons break a priceless globe. SCOTUS will decide if making bathtub gin is illegal and Grandpa Armstrong likely would have had some things to say about that. Puppy killer Kristi Noem has a new and likely very nervous dog. RIP yet again, Cricket. An Apollo astronaut who has never seen a UFO believes that UFOs are demons. “Tommy” from that Michigan town hall with Abdul El-Sayed is a GOP plant from Josh Hawley’s crew. Just in time for Halloween, Ted Cruz tells us that Democrats are transgender witches. Trump receives a homemade ‘Man of The Century’ participation trophy. Snitches get… paid, and Joe McCarthy is smiling at all of us from hell. And so much more.

Looky here, it’s episode #101! No Dalmatians required. “Shut up and play metal,” so sayeth James Hetfield. A tale of two Portlands. Katie Zacharia, we hardly knew ye. We desperately need a new ambassador to Greece. The march of the billionaires. Weaponizing the federales against Ilhan Omar. The little shop of Texas horrors. The execution will not be televised. Dogs lost and found. Joni Mitchell joins team U.S.A. One shooting is stopped by a shooter and another because his weapon jammed. Psst, it’s the guns. Vegan mice. The Burbank airport is dead. Long live the Burbank airport! Trump coins and coffee shops. Gas prices somehow break a new record. Trump knows that he says stupid things and that his cultists would cheer anyway. America sells out Ukraine to pleasure Putin. Mid-century modern is cringe. Trump gets weird with a tiger. The world is ending. Or maybe not. Mark Zuckerberg Vs. Guinness. Bigot chicken. Elon Musk isn’t concerned that we’re starving in his ridiculous new flying car. The Brewers sweep the Dodgers and I’m here for it. And so much more.

It's the 100th episode of The Dumbest Story of the Week! The mile-high self-love club. Drunken donuts. Texas loves banning books, because banning things always makes them less popular. The Pentagon will be live Streaming an execution. By firing squad. But you can’t watch Stephen Colbert. Yikes. The man who started a seven-month-long two-week war with Iran misses his Nobel Prize chance yet again and then throws sand at the winner. My hometown is best big city in the U.S. of A. Have they been there in January? ICE goons shoot yet another human being. Dogs help you sleep, and cats may give you parasites. Just saying. Ditka goes to the Great Soldier Field in the sky. Dennis Hastert learns about hell. Trump wants Iran to “take out” Los Angeles and San Diego, and he doesn’t mean to dinner. In the post predictable thing all year, Karoline Leavitt joins the Fox so-called News team. Her replacement is also blonde. Artificial Intelligence remains artificial. Trump both does and does not want you to vote by mail. Do Hispanics bounce? RIP to The Grandmother Tree. Kids love YouTube. Doritos are getting more expensive. Again. Vegetables just ain’t what they used to be. No. Really. And so much more.

Would you look at that! It’s episode 99. On the precipice of our 100 episode of The Dumbest Story of the Week, we’ve got a classic Republican self-own that will live in delightful infamy. Men, Bears, and the Cornell Seven, or: frat boys will be frat boys. After following him around the country and voting for him three times, some of Donald Trump’s ‘Front Row Joes’ finally see the light and find the exit. And I want my name back. Rebranding AI as SuperCalifragilisticArtificialIntelligence. Most generations are drinking less, but not the boozehounds in Gen-X. Trump makes a (likely illegal) colossal ad buy on our dime with ominous campaign ads disguised as Public Service Announcements. Major League Baseball wants to play ball in a National Park.  And so much more.

Banning the news. Karl Rove goes Blue. As it turns out, Judge Judy Is a Bigot. LAX’s People Mover isn’t moving people. Tommy Tuberville wants you to be very afraid of furry pilots. Tucker Carlson and Marjorie Taylor Greene have a crisis of their suddenly functional consciences. After watching Waymo cars, do you trust AI air traffic control? Halal cheese means cheese boycotts. An AI actress named Tilly Norwood can speak Cantonese no problem. Trump’s Triumphal Arch will also be a sniper HQ. Trump makes a fool of himself at the United Nations. The best worst guard dog. And so much more.