Specialness Pod

In the mental health world, there is no blood test. No x-ray. Just a subjective judgment that changes from one doctor's office to the next, and a family left to live with the consequences.Jeff and Kim get honest about the part of special needs parenting that society files under "dangerous" or "crazy" and refuses to take seriously. They walk through Cason's mental health journey from the beginning: the manic behavior at four, the neuropsychologist who suspected bipolar one, the renowned psychiatrist who dismissed it as "just ADHD," and the medication trial and error that made everything worse. They also share the terrifying hospital day that no parent should have to fight through, and why the words "he's too young for that" cost their family years.This is a conversation about stigma, about a mental health system that is easy to be failed by, and about why our own community has to be the place understanding starts.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #MentalHealth #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

When people hear the word grief, they think someone died. For special needs parents, the grief is different. It's the life you planned for and never got to live, and it doesn't fade. It compounds.In this episode, Jeff and Kim talk openly about the grief nobody in the special needs world seems allowed to name. The milestones that never come. The family gatherings where the gap becomes impossible to ignore. The jealousy that shows up watching friends drop their kids at college. And why, after almost 25 years, the grief has actually gotten heavier, not lighter.If you have ever felt guilty for grieving while still loving your child with everything you have, this one is for you. You have permission to feel it.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsGrief #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast

Part 2 of our conversation with Julia Erman, a special needs mom whose two children share an ultra rare diagnosis. This is the half about what she did with it.Julia found out her kids were dying on her birthday, over a Zoom call. In this episode she talks about the faith that gave her peace that same day, why suffering builds a muscle most people never have to grow, and how a conversation at a backyard cookout turned into The Hazelnut Movement, a school program that has now reached 25 schools in 5 states.She also says something that stopped us: her daughter isn't the problem. Her own grief is. This is a conversation about the hard you can control and the hard you cannot.Missed Part 1? Watch it here: https://youtu.be/HqwvSUjrHZwABOUT OUR GUESTJulia Erman is a speaker, author, and founder of The Hazelnut Movement, a nonprofit school assembly program that helps kids understand disability through storytelling. She has written 18 children's books and has been featured in People Magazine and NBC Today Parents.Julia's website, books, and speaking: https://www.juliaerman.co/The Hazelnut Movement, school assemblies and educator resources: https://www.thehazelnutmovement.com/Julia is currently booking school assemblies and keynotes, and she has packets parents can send to their own school administrators. She also offers a free 7-day encouragement series for special needs moms called 7 Days of Hope.Find her on Instagram at @ermanjulia and @thehazelnutmovement.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsMom #RareDisease #SpecialNeedsFamily #TheSpecialnessPodcast

Our first ever guest. Julia Erman is a special needs mom, author, and founder of The Hazelnut Movement, and both of her children live with a diagnosis that only has a handful of documented cases in the world.In Part 1 of 2, Julia walks us through the beginning. A perfect birth that turned into a NICU emergency in 48 hours. A neurologist who took away every ounce of hope in two words. A second pregnancy that uncovered the cancer four doctors had missed. And the moment, two days after her son was born, when she realized it was happening all over again.This is one of the most honest conversations we have had on this show about grief, diagnosis, and how long it can actually take to find joy again.ABOUT OUR GUESTJulia Erman is a speaker, author, and founder of The Hazelnut Movement, a nonprofit school assembly program that helps kids understand disability through storytelling. She has written 18 children's books and has been featured in People Magazine and NBC Today Parents.Julia's website, books, and speaking: https://www.juliaerman.co/The Hazelnut Movement, school assemblies and educator resources: https://www.thehazelnutmovement.com/Julia is currently booking school assemblies and keynotes, and she has packets parents can send to their own school administrators. She also offers a free 7-day encouragement series for special needs moms called 7 Days of Hope.Find her on Instagram at @ermanjulia and @thehazelnutmovement.If this episode helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsMom #RareDisease #SpecialNeedsFamily #TheSpecialnessPodcast

A few weeks ago we posted a reel about the roles each parent plays in a special needs marriage. It passed 70,000 views and lit up our comments, so this week we're unpacking what we actually meant.Jeff said one of us drew "the short end of the stick," and it ruffled feathers. In this episode we clarify that comment, talk through the roles of breadwinner and caregiver, and get honest about the resentment and burnout that nobody warns you about. After 24 years, here's how we've split the load without losing each other.CHAPTERS0:00 The viral reel and why context gets lost1:45 What "the short end of the stick" really meant2:38 Secondhand medical info and surprise medication costs7:45 Deciding our roles before we even had kids11:16 How resentment and caregiver burnout creep in13:42 Why special needs divorces mirror regular ones, only magnified21:24 Personality decides roles, not gender stereotypes26:09 Why denial is one of the most dangerous things in our world29:06 How your roles shift as your child grows31:04 The jobs that became Dad's, from reading to infusions34:18 "I'm off the clock" and why the caregiver needs real breaks47:31 Balancing a neurotypical sibling52:25 What 24 years has actually taught us53:35 Next week: our first guest, Julie ErmanThank you to everyone following along from all over the world. Your comments, questions, and stories shape every episode we make.If this helped you feel a little less alone, subscribe and share it with a family who needs it.New episodes every week.#SpecialNeedsParents #SpecialNeedsMarriage #SpecialNeedsFamily #Caregiver #TheSpecialnessPodcast