The Heels in the Hierarchy Podcast

You’re still meeting deadlines and getting the work done. But when someone in your team needs another conversation, your first thought is: “Please don’t give me another problem.” What happens when a caring manager starts running out of capacity to care? In this episode of Heels in the Hierarchy, SJ and Pegsy explore manager burnout, emotional exhaustion and the quieter ways workplace pressure can change how we lead. With restructures, bigger teams and competing demands, retreating into spreadsheets and tasks can feel easier than dealing with people. But what does that feel like on the other side of your desk? We talk about: • How to recognise when a difficult afternoon is becoming a pattern of withdrawing from your team. • Why capable managers retreat into the technical work they know they can do. • How fewer questions and complaints can disguise a team that has stopped speaking up. • The hidden load of being the person everyone turns to. • Practical ways to rebuild conversations, set boundaries and acknowledge when you’ve become less available. • Why another resilience course cannot replace realistic workloads, authority and support. There’s room for two truths: an overwhelmed manager deserves support, and their team deserves thoughtful leadership. An honest conversation for women in leadership, middle managers and anyone who has caught themselves thinking: “I used to have more patience than this.” We explore burnout and compassion fatigue without treating either as a blanket diagnosis—or turning caring into another task to fail at. What would make caring leadership possible in your workplace: fewer responsibilities, clearer priorities or time that is actually protected? Tell us what you think. If this conversation resonates, follow Heels in the Hierarchy for more honest conversations about women at work, and share this episode with someone who would welcome it. #HeelsInTheHierarchy #PodcastForWomen #WomenAtWork #WomenInLeadership #ManagementSkills #WorkplaceWellbeing #AuthenticLeadership

You go to Harvard, and wow, it's Harvard. And then you find out — oh, Harvard is full of some fools." Barack Obama said that. Out loud. On the record. And Michelle Obama said almost exactly the same thing — independently — about every powerful table she'd ever sat at. SJ and Pegsy are back — and this week they're building on a short LinkedIn clip shared by Elise Oway, featuring Barack Obama's candid observations about leadership at every level. They dig into the full 94-minute Pivot interview to find the deeper argument underneath the funny quote — and what it means for every woman who has ever stood outside a room wondering if she really belongs in it. Because what Obama and Michelle Obama are really saying isn't just that powerful institutions contain fools. They're saying that what separates the people who get into those rooms from the people who don't isn't raw ability. It's exposure. And the learned confidence that comes from it. In this episode: The full Obama quote in context — and why it's more structurally important than it first appears Michelle Obama's "they are not that smart" — said to Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie in London, 2018 Imposter syndrome at the highest level — and why knowing you're out of your depth might make you a safer leader Who gets to develop the confidence that opens doors — and who doesn't, and why Dunning-Kruger, the Peter Principle, and the dangerous leader who doesn't know what they don't know Connections to the Likeability Dilemma, the Glass Ceiling, Lead Her, the Messy Middle and WOACA episodes Which room have you been telling yourself you don't belong in? We'd love to know. Links: ☕ Buy Me a Coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/heels_in_the_hierarchy 🎧 Listen & subscribe: https://heelsinthehierarchy.podbean.com/ ▶️ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HeelsintheHierarchy 🔗 Barack Obama — The Pivot Interview (full 94 mins): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Barack_Pivot_Interview And with special thanks to @iamsprintshoes for creating our amazing new theme tune!  Check them out here https://www.instagram.com/iamsprintshoes/reels/#   #HeelsInTheHierarchy #ImposterSyndrome #WomenInLeadership #Obama #LeadershipMyth #GlassCeiling #WomenAtWork #PodcastForWomen #AuthenticLeadership #ConfidenceGap

Six business founders share their secrets to standing out at work. But what if standing out isn’t your goal? This week SJ and Pegsy dig into a BBC article featuring career advice from some of the UK’s most successful business leaders — Charlotte Tilbury, Marcia Kilgore, James Reed, and others — and ask the question that the article doesn’t: who is this advice actually written for? There’s genuine value here — on communication, curiosity, AI and attitude — and SJ and Pegsy take it seriously. But they also name something that rarely gets said out loud: that “feel the fear and do it anyway,” “say yes to everything,” and “fake it until you make it” land very differently depending on whether you have the financial security, the support network, and the structural privilege to absorb the cost of getting it wrong. This is an episode for the woman who reads career advice and wonders why none of it quite fits. And it’s an episode for anyone who needs permission to decide that standing firm is just as valid as standing out. In this episode: What’s genuinely useful in the BBC’s “What Makes Someone Stand Out?” — and what needs reframing Why “be authentic” is harder than it sounds when your authentic self isn’t what the room expects The difference between faking confidence and acting despite the fear Curiosity as a small, sustainable, daily practice — not a grand gesture What AI means for your job application right now — practical advice from James Reed The most important question underneath all the noise: what if standing out isn’t your goal? This one’s for the woman who wonders if the advice was written for her. It was. We just forgot to say so. ☕ Support us: https://buymeacoffee.com/heels_in_the_hierarchy 🎧 Listen & subscribe: https://heelsinthehierarchy.podbean.com/ ▶️ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HeelsintheHierarchy Links mentioned in this episode: BBC Article — What Makes Someone Stand Out in a Crowded Workplace? #HeelsInTheHierarchy #CareerAdvice #WomenAtWork #StandOut #ImposterSyndrome #WomenInLeadership #CareerDevelopment #WorkplaceWellbeing #PodcastForWomen #AuthenticLeadership

What does a man learn when the most influential people in his life have always been women? SJ and Pegsy welcome Alan to Heels in the Hierarchy - a man who grew up in a strong female household, has spent his professional life working alongside and managing predominantly female teams, and now works in one of the most emotionally demanding fields there is: bereavement and therapeutic support. This isn't an episode about asking a man what women should do differently. It's about something far more interesting - what happens when a man has genuinely paid attention. To the women who raised him. To the colleagues who challenged him. To the people who have sat with him through grief. And to the assumptions he's had to quietly unlearn along the way. Warm, honest, occasionally challenging, and full of practical insight - this is a conversation the Heels in the Hierarchy audience has been asking for. In this episode: What growing up surrounded by strong women taught Alan about being a man — and what his sisters specifically taught him that he couldn't have learned anywhere else What "strong woman" actually means to him - and whether the phrase itself is sometimes part of the problem What men consistently misunderstand about women at work - and what women sometimes misunderstand about men What Alan has learned from managing predominantly female teams - on psychological safety, communication, and recognising when someone is struggling Why some men find it almost impossible to ask for help - and what that costs them What grief does when it follows someone through the office door — and what good and bad employer responses actually look like The three things women have taught Alan that have shaped who he is And what he thinks men can offer women in return - without it becoming a lecture Alan's practical takeaways include: What every manager should understand about grief What every person should know about asking for help What he personally had to unlearn - and why that matters We close with a question worth sitting with: After a lifetime shaped by strong women - what does strength actually mean now? If there's a man in your life who needs to hear this - share it with him today. ☕ Support us on Buy Me a Coffee 🎧 Listen & subscribe: https://heelsinthehierarchy.podbean.com/ ▶️ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HeelsintheHierarchy #HeelsInTheHierarchy #MaleAlly #WomenInLeadership #GenderAtWork #EmotionalLabour #Bereavement #MenWhoListen #WorkplaceWellbeing #PodcastForWomen #MenAndWomenAtWork

"A woman's fury holds lifetimes of wisdom." — Tracee Ellis Ross So why are we still being told to calm down? In this episode SJ and Pegsy explore one of the most loaded words in a woman's emotional vocabulary — fury — and what happens when we stop pathologising it and start listening to it instead. Drawing on Tracee Ellis Ross's extraordinary TED talk, they unpack the micro-aggressive language around women's anger, the double standard that sees men called passionate and women called hysterical, and the accumulated weight of being dismissed, disrespected, and unheard — until one moment becomes the final straw for something that has been building for years. This is not an episode about fixing anger. It's about understanding it. In this episode: Tracee Ellis Ross on fury as information — and why that reframe changes everything Micro-aggressive language around women's anger — and how it shows up in everyday professional life Victim blaming, mansplaining, and why the phrase "mansplaining" has become uncomfortably normalised The Barbie moment that said what many women couldn't — America Ferrera's monologue and why it landed so hard How women are raised to make themselves smaller — and then told to own the room The manosphere, algorithmic grievance, and why the answer isn't to blame feminism Male allies and advocates — what genuine allyship looks like, and why men challenging men matters The connection to the Likeability Dilemma — revisiting an earlier conversation through a sharper lens And we close with five questions worth sitting with: What is your anger trying to tell you? Where have you been making yourself smaller to remain likeable? What conversation have you been postponing? If you are a leader — are the women around you feeling safe enough to tell you when something is wrong before they get furious? Could you set yourself a goal to understand the history of your fury — investigate it, and decide with confidence what you want to do with it? This episode is for every woman who has ever been told her response is the problem. And for every man who wants to understand why that matters. ☕ Support us on Buy Me a Coffee 🎧 Listen & subscribe: https://heelsinthehierarchy.podbean.com/ ▶️ Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HeelsintheHierarchy Links mentioned in this episode: Tracee Ellis Ross — "A Woman's Fury Holds Lifetimes of Wisdom" TED Talk The Etymology of Hysteria — Useless Etymology Hysteria: A Brief History — ScienceDirect Heels in the Hierarchy — The Likeability Dilemma Episode #HeelsInTheHierarchy #WomensAnger #TraceeEllisRoss #FuryIsWisdom #WomenInLeadership #MicroAggressions #Hysteria #Mansplaining #WomenAtWork #PodcastForWomen