Create More Intimacy: A Podcast for Men

Somebody finally told you it wasn't your fault. Stop chasing her. Be more dominant. Don't text back right away. Let her wonder where you are. For a lot of men, this kind of online advice arrives at exactly the moment they feel most rejected, and at first it feels like relief. In this episode, we'll cover why that advice is so convincing, what it gets right about self-respect, and why the tactics built on it usually leave men colder and lonelier in their marriages than before. You'll hear: - Why pulling back to get her attention is the same deal as doing more to earn it - What her response to your distance usually means (and why it doesn't last) - How contempt can creep in when you start seeing her as someone to manage - The difference between withholding and refusing to abandon yourself - A simple test for whether what you're doing is self-respect or a tactic And join me live this Wednesday, October 7 at 2pm PT / 3pm MT / 4pm CT / 5pm ET for my free webinar, What She Stopped Saying. If your marriage has gone quiet, don't let another week go by. Save your spot here: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/open-call-registration 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

You got in shape. You changed your body with real discipline. And at home, almost nothing changed. When a wife pulls away physically, many men decide the problem is attraction, and the gym becomes the fix. It's measurable, it's private, and it doesn't require a difficult conversation. But in long-term marriages, desire is rarely about how he looks. It's about how it feels to be with him. In this episode, we'll cover why the body made so much sense as a target, what she's actually responding to, and how to keep the discipline while changing where you point it. You'll hear: Why getting fitter without any change at home isn't proof you're unattractive How effort with an expectation attached starts to feel like pressure to her Why your training hours may be leaving her feeling more alone What the gym might be protecting you from Why outside attention feels so good when you're lonely at home, and why that deserves your honesty How to apply the discipline you already have to emotional presence at home I'm also hosting a free live webinar on October 7th at 3:00pm MT(2:00pm PT / 4:00pm CT / 5:00pm ET).  Join me live, I'd love to have you there: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/open-call-registration 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

Is it normal to barely have sex in marriage? In this episode, we'll cover why a real, credible statistic about married couples still can't answer that question for you, and why chasing that number can quietly work against you, both with your wife and with yourself. We'll cover: What the actual research says about how often married couples have sex today Why a national average can't tell you anything true about your specific marriage How that number gets weaponized in arguments, or turned inward into shame about your body The real questions worth asking instead: whether you actually talk to her, whether you still see her, whether effort at home has become a transaction, whether you're relying on her memory instead of your own You'll hear why the question was never "am I normal," and what to ask instead. I'm also hosting a free live webinar on September 23rd at 3:00pm MT(2:00pm PT / 4:00pm CT / 5:00pm ET).  Join me live, I'd love to have you there: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/open-call-registration 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

You keep hinting. She keeps not picking up on it. Underneath both of your frustration is a question neither of you has said out loud: what are you really asking for? In this episode, we'll cover why hinting instead of asking directly creates more distance than it avoids, and why so many men confuse wanting sex with wanting to feel chosen. You'll hear why getting a yes doesn't always resolve the loneliness it's supposed to fix, and a simple structure for asking plainly instead of circling the question for years. What you'll hear: Why hinting reads as pressure, not subtlety, to her The real difference between wanting sex and wanting her Why she probably already knows what you want, and why that's part of the problem A simple structure for asking directly, called the CLEAR Ask Why non-sexual connection often matters more to her than the act itself  I'm also hosting a free live webinar on September 23rd at 2:30pm MT (1:30pm PT / 3:30pm CT / 4:30pm ET).  Join me live, I'd love to have you there: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/open-call-registration 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/

There's a window, ten to twenty seconds, where your body decides what happens next in an argument, before you're even aware you're reacting. This week we'll cover what's actually happening in that window, why explosion and shutdown are the only two exits most men were ever taught, and what specifically hijacks that window before you get a real choice. Why the 15 seconds before you explode or shut down are physical, not just emotional Why white-knuckling your reaction isn't the same as regulating it Why you might feel compelled to correct her version of events, and what's underneath that What actually interrupts the pattern toward explosion, and toward shutdown I'm hosting a free live webinar on September 10th at 2pm PT / 3pm MT / 4pm CT / 5pm ET.Join me live, I'll send the details soon. Save your seat and register here: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/open-call-registration I'd love to have you there. 🎧 Listen to all episodes at https://alisastoddard.com/podcast 💬 Want help figuring this out in your own relationship? Access my free Intimacy Training: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/opt-in Book a Relationship Clarity Call: https://alisa-stoddard.mykajabi.com/podcast-scheduling-page Available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and YouTube. Find out more at https://alisastoddard.com/