Help! My Child's Anxious

What if the thing that calms an anxious child has nothing to do with talking about anxiety?This week Vanessa Feltz and her daughter, child therapist Saskia Joss, look at a small study from Long Island University, published in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders. A handful of anxious children were asked which skills they wished they had, then practised doing them alone. Nobody worked on their fears directly. Their anxiety dropped anyway.Saskia explains why mastery matters so much to children, how to pick steps that are the right size for your child's age, and why she thinks independence works best alongside direct support. Vanessa remembers making her parents a proper cup of tea at six and scrambled egg on toast at seven, and why real praise felt so different from fake praise.Also this week: a listener's son asked why people are fighting over "golf". Saskia shares how to talk to children about war without frightening them. Plus Never Feltz So Good, featuring two rescued chairs and a council truck.It is a very small study, so treat it as an idea to try at home. If your child's anxiety is affecting daily life, speak to your GP or school.Chapters:00:00–00:43 Coming up00:43–01:24 Welcome and hello to listeners worldwide01:24–03:13 The study: skills instead of worry talk03:13–04:26 Vanessa passes her driving test at the third go04:26–05:41 Mastery, Montessori and right-sized steps05:41–08:14 A cup of tea at six, scrambled egg at seven08:14–10:02 Why children panic when parents go out10:02–11:59 Trying it at home and why it may work11:59–13:12 Scooting to school and burgers from scratch13:12–13:50 Why you probably need both approaches13:50–14:46 Vanessa and the barbed wire fence14:46–20:15 Listener question: explaining war to children20:15–20:37 How to send us your question20:37–23:52 Never Feltz So Good: rescuing chairs from a skipGot a question for Saskia? Message us on Instagram @HelpMyChildsAnxiousPod

When should you give your child their first smartphone? And how do you protect them from what they might see online?Former Hollyoaks star Sarah Jayne Dunn joins Vanessa Feltz and child therapist Saskia Joss to discuss one of the biggest dilemmas facing modern parents: children, smartphones and social media.Sarah's son Stanley is now 10, and while he doesn't yet have a phone, she's already thinking about what happens when he starts secondary school.In this episode, they discuss:When children should get their first smartphone and what rules parents should set.The dangers of social media algorithms, explicit content and online peer pressure.Sarah's experience growing up on Hollyoaks, the pressures of body image and finding confidence through pole fitness.How simple family activities can help children feel connected without screens.Plus, Saskia shares practical advice on managing screen time, having honest conversations with your children and creating safer online boundaries.Would you give your 10-year-old a smartphone? Let us know in the comments.Subscribe to Help! My Child's Anxious for more honest conversations about parenting, childhood anxiety and family life.Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helpmychildsanxiouspod/Chapters:00:00–00:32 The dangers of social media for children00:32–01:25 Meet Sarah Jayne Dunn01:25–03:24 When should children get their first phone?03:24–06:35 Setting rules before giving your child a smartphone06:35–08:53 The disturbing content children can encounter online08:53–11:02 Keeping children safe online and at playdates11:02–13:07 Algorithms, misinformation and peer pressure13:07–15:46 Are basic phones safer for children?15:46–17:42 Setting healthier screen-time boundaries17:42–18:03 Break18:03–20:41 Growing up on Hollyoaks at just 1420:41–23:21 Photoshopping, sexualisation and body image23:21–25:08 OnlyFans, trolls and finding confidence25:08–27:14 How pole fitness helps Sarah's mental wellbeing27:14–30:21 Sarah's favourite screen-free family activity30:21–32:13 How pets help children feel connected

From birthday parties and loud noises to school and social situations, everyday experiences can feel overwhelming for an anxious child. But what's actually happening, and what can parents do to help?This week on Help! My Child's Anxious, Vanessa Feltz and her daughter, child therapist Saskia Joss, go back to basics to explain childhood anxiety and share practical ways to help children feel safer and more confident.In this episode:- Why children become anxious, even when they're safe- How anxiety can spread from one situation to another- How to identify what's really worrying your child- Why forcing an anxious child into a situation can backfire- Small changes that can help children build resilience- How parents can manage their own phobias without passing their fears on to their childrenPlus, Saskia answers a listener's question about her fear of cats, shares a fun game to play with children, and explains why Strictly Come Dancing can be brilliant family viewing.Have a parenting question for Vanessa and Saskia?Send it to us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helpmychildsanxiouspod/Subscribe for more conversations about childhood anxiety, parenting and emotional wellbeing.

The BBC has cut scenes from Horrible Histories, including sketches about child labour and slavery. But are we protecting children from frightening subjects, or avoiding conversations they actually need?In this episode of Help! My Child's Anxious, Vanessa Feltz and her daughter, child therapist Saskia Joss, tackle a big parenting question: how much should we shield children from the frightening realities of life.From the Titanic and the Great Fire of London to death, divorce and scary films, Saskia explains why some children become fascinated by frightening things while others develop fears that spread into everyday life.They discuss how parents can talk about difficult subjects, why age-appropriate explanations matter and whether shielding children from distressing content really builds resilience.Plus, a parent asks why their previously adventurous eater is suddenly refusing familiar foods. Saskia explores food anxiety, fussy eating, texture sensitivity and practical ways to help children feel more comfortable trying different foods.And in Never Felt So Good, the family's extraordinary pet marrow continues its adventures.Subscribe for more practical conversations about childhood anxiety, parenting and emotional wellbeing with Vanessa Feltz and Saskia Joss.Watch more: https://www.youtube.com/@VanessaandSaskiaFollow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/helpmychildsanxiouspod/Send your parenting questions to: [email protected]

A new study suggests baby girls may be more drawn to faces than baby boys from the first hours of life. But does that actually mean parents should raise boys and girls differently?Vanessa Feltz and child therapist Saskia Joss unpack what these differences might mean for parents, why gender stereotypes can stop us from seeing the child in front of us, and whether girls may sometimes become better at hiding anxiety.Saskia also explains why children need a mix of calm, connection, physical play and emotional freedom, regardless of whether they're a boy or a girl.Plus, they tackle a parent's bedtime dilemma after their child suddenly refuses to sleep alone, and Saskia reveals how she threw a brilliant children's birthday party without spending thousands trying to recreate Instagram.This episode contains a paid promotion for School Budi find out more about School Budi here:https://schoolbudi.co.uk/Help! My Child's Anxious is hosted by Vanessa Feltz and child therapist Saskia Joss. Subscribe for practical, compassionate conversations about childhood anxiety, parenting and emotional wellbeing.This podcast provides general information and discussion. It is not a substitute for individual medical or mental-health advice.